Now that her hair had grown back, she shook her glossy locks about her shoulders in pure Judy fashion. No one was fussier about their hair than her mother, and Maxine was lucky enough to inherit her gorgeous auburn tresses.
No more hair in the sink, she promised herself. You’re getting the help you need now.
Over the last three days, Maxine discovered yet another facet of Drew’s complexities in his compassion. He’d dragged her through doctors’ offices and forced her to face her worst fears…but all the while, the tenderness of his actions remained unwavering.
Although he knew she had a long recovery ahead of her, finding the right team to help her along was a huge start, and she genuinely trusted Drew's assistance. She needed comfort, especially now, with all of the nuances of her new life unfolding so quickly. She'd endured so many changes, and maintaining some sense of stability in that overwhelming metropolis in which they lived was critical. While her entire life sat before her, she had too many decisions to muddle through. As much as she hated to admit it, she couldn't function without some guidance.
With her new job starting the following week, Maxine had quite a bit to accomplish on her own on that Thursday morning. Filling out forms and figuring out her work wardrobe consumed her morning, and she’d made an afternoon out of having her anti-depressants filled. Although she still hated the idea of taking medication, she could physically feel herself dipping into the depths of her despair again. She knew that she needed a boost beyond talk therapy. Even Drew’s presence in her life couldn’t pull her out of the sinkhole once she started to drop.
As she waited for the pharmacy to fill her order, she decided to stop in the diner next door for a bowl of soup and half a sandwich. She reminded herself that she did have to eat without completely forcing her own hand. A heaviness had settled in her chest these last few weeks. Although she reveled in her moments of happiness, anything and everything had the potential to plummet her spirits.
She’d cried herself to sleep the night before simply because she didn’t get to see Drew. She’d spent the entire rainy day with him at the penthouse, coasting between sleeping and making out. However, he had to meet up with his co-stars in the show for dinner to iron out a few details of their characters, and he'd sent her home to spend an evening with Ben. While her best friend provided the perfect, sloppy-second diversion, she succumbed to her sadness in the notion that she couldn't see Drew that night.
Under normal circumstances, she would have drifted off into a pleasant dream, content with the fact that they'd already made plans for a date the next evening. However, in this altered state, she wallowed in sorrow that shouldn't have existed.
Consciously, she understood this pattern. However, these emotions had the power to overwhelm her at any time. Some episodes lasted longer than others. That had been the norm for Maxine since Judy's death.
As she stood before the bathroom mirror that night, she willed herself courage, then reached for the bottle of pills. Over and over, she read her name on the bottle. Sometimes, she wondered what her mother would have to say, but inherently, she knew that Judy would comfort her. She would tell her that all would be fine. She would encourage her only child to accept treatment.
After popping a pill into her mouth, she swigged a drink of water, then wiped a hand towel over her face before applying a slathering of shimmering lip gloss.
Maxine took a shaky step backward, then caught one final glance at herself. The brand-new Guess dress in a neutral shade of sandstone, with its capped sleeves, dropped waist and flounced hemline, clung to her tiny frame. Suddenly, she didn’t like the way she looked. Although her bones protruded from her shoulders, arms and legs—even her ribs were visible—she still felt too fat for her skin. The gaunt face appeared chubby. Her rail-thin fingers felt thick and clumsy, even though the tiny emerald ring her father bought her as a graduation gift nearly slipped off her hand with the slightest quick movement.
But there was no time to change.
From her closet, she grabbed her winter coat and thick wool scarf since Drew warned her to bundle up. At least she could cover up her ugliness with heavy outerwear. What adventure he had planned for them that evening, she had no idea. He so loved his surprises. And so did Maxine.
A bit of shock, however, struck her when she stepped outside to find Lou opening the back door of the black sedan for her. Usually, Drew waited at the bottom of the stoop for her. Squinting, she couldn't see through the tinted rear window, and she began to wonder where the hell he was. As she hurried along, she felt as if she were pledging some sorority and embarking on some sort of wild goose chase.
“Good evening, Miss Kirk,” Lou greeted her.
If they were going to spend any amount of real time together in the near future, Maxine had to have a talk with him about killing the formalities. This “Miss Kirk” stuff was just so pretentious.
“Please, call me Maxine,” she smiled and poked her head inside the empty backseat before tumbling inside. An uncomfortable feeling washed over her—almost as if she were spying on Drew’s private life—sitting alone for the first time in that car. “So…uh…where’s Mack?”
Lou watched her in the rearview mirror with a wry smile. “He’ll be meeting up with us shortly,” he answered politely. “And you should buckle up, or Mr. McKenzie will not be happy with either one of us.”
Great! Now his chauffeur was going to rat her out on her bad behavior. She already knew that Drew kept a list of her so-called indiscretions. She hoped he would at least have the kindness in his heart to make love to her before he put her through some rigorous act of repentance.
When they’d turned the next corner, following traffic back toward FDR Drive, her imagination ran wild with wonder over where the hell he was taking her.
“Tell me something,” she began, “where are we going?”
“Can’t tell you,” Lou shook his head. “Under strict orders from Mr. McKenzie.”
Drat. This guy was a tough nut to crack.
Speeding along the East River, Maxine glanced upward at the city rising above. She loved seeing those gorgeous old apartment buildings lining the busy freeway. New York wasn’t just all about business and Broadway. Every few blocks, a new neighborhood emerged, and she loved to explore the diversities of the city—from the Cloisters, built by Rockefeller with artifacts from monasteries around the globe, to the riverside view of Battery Park. As entrancing as Manhattan was, she still wasn't about to let Lou off the hook so easily. He knew of their plans for that evening. And Maxine wanted to find out.
“So…I’ll talk Drew into giving you tonight—and the entire weekend off—if you shoot some clues my way,” she attempted to sway the stoic older man behind the wheel. “Some rather obvious clues…”
Sneaky little one was she, he laughed to himself. Little one. What a fucking nickname! Even if Drew didn’t admit it to himself, no one knew him quite like Lou. When that man found himself smitten, he turned into a gushing teenager…before he pulled out the whips. Lou wondered how long this one would last. For now, though, he drove her dutifully, obeying Sir’s orders with a chuckle. Ah, perhaps, though, she just might outwit the Master, Himself…
“Nah, Maxine…” Lou continued to grin. “I just got back from Venice a couple of weeks ago. Had a nice little break. I think I can work the weekend…”
“But sometimes you need a little vacation after the vacation,” she pushed.
Clearly, this chick was used to finagling her way. Drew did mention that she was an only child. However, she didn’t realize that she was pissing around with a decorated sergeant major, retired from the Army. He understood a few things about negotiating. Even with terrorists, or so he told people. He could certainly manage this tiny gal from Pittsburgh.
“Ain’t happening, Maxine…” he told her. “But you’ll see soon enough.”
Damn New Yorkers, she thought, forgetting for a moment that she was one of them now. Sometimes, they could be so stubborn.
&nbs
p; “Points for trying? A little clue?”
Now they were approaching the South Street Seaport, which was essentially a mall on the pier catering to tourists. However, the building was under construction after having been hit hard by Hurricane Sandy two years before. Along the water on one side of the highway and the cobbled side streets on the other, there were boat rides, ship tours, seafood restaurants—even a museum exhibiting the nautical history of New York City. The views of Manhattan and Brooklyn, admittedly, were stunning. However, Maxine couldn’t fathom Drew taking here there—unless he decided to just rent out the entire pier!
As Lou slowed to a stop then turned into some random lot off the FDR, he pulled into a parking slot, then turned around to look Maxine squarely in those perhaps not so innocent eyes of hers. “You know I need to tell Mack about all of your little questions…”
With a shrug, she smiled almost sinfully. Now apparently, Lou was in on her punishments…if they ever got that far. Her deadline arrived in less than twenty-four hours.
“Oh, just tell him!” she squealed and reached over for the door handle, which “Mack” himself opened. Suddenly, she felt blissful, if not giddy. It wasn’t the pill—she knew those anti-depressants could take weeks to make any significant changes—but that moment did remind her of the severity of pendulum of her ever-swinging moods.
“Just tell him what, little one?” Drew asked as he leaned inside to attend to her buckle. Mostly, he just wanted to make sure that she’d fastened herself in.
“Um…I was…” Oh, fuckballs. Stunned into silence once again. Damn, that Drew! And damn her cursing. Ohhh…
“You were saying…?”
Once she’d stepped out of the car and appropriately straightened her clothes, she covered her mouth with her hand and snickered. “Someone was misbehaving…”
“I’ll deal with that later…”
“Harassing me, Mack,” Lou added. “Like a kid. Where are we going? What are we doing? Are we there yet?”
However, Lou’s tattling fell upon seemingly deaf ears. Drew was far too caught up in this moment he’d created for them that he didn’t pay much attention, and likewise, Maxine found herself lost in him.
There was something about Drew dressed in a pair of dark jeans paired with a white button-down shirt and a navy wool blazer that simply forced Maxine to catch her breath. It was the combination of that casual air with those blue bedroom eyes that simply set her loins on fire. Quite frankly, she was used to seeing him in costume or decked to the nines in a fine tailored suit, and she decided that she liked this less formal side of him. And as he leaned against the car, with one hand in his pocket and the other on his hip, Maxine couldn't escape her fantasies.
Fuckballs indeed.
Rising up on her tip-toes, Maxine caught his lips for a quick kiss.
“Someone seems like she's in a better mood tonight,” Drew smiled and tugged at her hair. “I love that gorgeous smile, Maxine. I'd like to see more of it.”
“Drew,” she took his hand and played with his fingers, twisting them against her own. “Whatever you’re up to…thank you…”
“Ahhh…a sub who thanks me in advance…” he whispered back, so touched by the boldness seeping through her shyness. “That would certainly be new…”
“I'm not your sub yet, Sir Drew…” she reminded him, surprised by her flirtation.
“We’ll discuss that matter tomorrow, Maxine,” he said. “Tonight, I’d like to just have some fun with you. Beyond your little boudoir.”
Anything, as far as she was concerned, was a definite possibility given that he’d already brought her to orgasm in a taxi—in a taxi!
“Fuckballs…”
“Excuse me, little one?” he leaned in closer.
“Yeah…so…fuckballs…” she said and stuck her chin out proudly. “Where the hell are you taking me tonight?”
They were right on the water, overlooking the river and the glimmering skyline of Brooklyn as the sun began to set over the city. She knew his family had a boat docked somewhere along the piers of the island. She’d guessed that they were going for a sail, which troubled her thoroughly. On top of everything else, Maxine suffered from sea sickness. She couldn’t even sit in her dad’s tiny fishing boat on a still pond without getting queasy.
“What a mouth!” he scoffed. “And fuck, if I don’t quite like it. Lovely, darling. Just…delightful…”
“Am I fucking turning you on?” She stood upon her toes again, eyes challenging him.
Drew covered her head with his entire hand. “Down, little one. We have much more to do this evening than engage in salacious banter…”
“Humph…” she folded her arms in front of herself.
Oh, fuck…don’t turn on the cute with me…dammit, Maxine!
“Unfold those arms, and get your ass marching toward the waterfront,” Drew pointed to the river. “Or there may be consequences….”
“Consequences…” she repeated, placing one foot in front of the other as he led her onward.
“You have no fucking idea, little one…not a single one…” he muttered as she took off ahead of him.
At least, she reasoned, this was a short diversion from her fear of yachting. She could only hope that they shared the same intention that evening—to put the rest of the week behind them and to forget about the decision that they both had to make in a matter of hours.
His eyes never left her as she stomped along the pier. One minute, he wanted to coddle her—the next, he wanted to turn her over his knee. And Maxine remained unsuspecting all the while. He hadn’t touched her with any trace of intimacy since early Tuesday morning. Kisses on his couch the previous afternoon didn’t count. If she only knew how many times he'd taken himself in his hands that week, once even in her bathroom. Yeah. Fuckballs, he thought.
She seemed so nonchalant with the helicopter waiting at the end of the pier. Her hair whipped about her shoulders, and her dress fluttered upward in the forceful winds from the helicopter blades spinning round and round. Panicked, she fought to hold her skirt down while Drew headed closer, laughing all the while.
“Where’s the boat?” she shouted over the ruckus.
“Where’s the what?” he hollered as he stepped up to her side.
“The boat!”
“What boat?”
Maxine wrapped her scarf a little tighter around her. Now she was glad that she’d heeded his warning about dressing warmly. “Aren’t we sailing?”
“No, Maxine—this is your mode of transportation for the evening,” he explained, gesturing toward the helicopter. The pilot looked a bit irritated from the cockpit. They were on a time constraint. “I booked them for an hour so that you could see all five boroughs. By sunset.”
Maxine had to admit that the idea of soaring over the city in a helicopter made her stomach lurch. Of course, she’d flown before, but always in a commercial air carrier. The mere size of this thing alone terrified her. In the event of a crash, she was certain they wouldn’t survive. There was just no safeguard at all. Yes, the notion of spending eternity with Drew was a welcoming thought, but she didn’t want to die in Drew’s arms that night.
As far as she was concerned, fifteen minutes would be far too long. She couldn’t fathom an hour in that tiny little cabin without much protection but for a seatbelt. Always observant, Drew took note that she was looking a little green.
Taking her hand, he led her over toward the helicopter and held her as she climbed up the ladder to board. Always cautious with her, he had to belt her up himself, but her fidgeting made his task a bit difficult to accomplish. Once he'd clicked the buckle in place, he stroked her cheek and looked into those frightened eyes.
“Glass of champagne to calm your nerves? I brought…”
An entire magnum couldn’t soothe her at that moment. She brought her thumb to her mouth for a quick bite and suckle, and looked out the window. Soon, they’d be hovering who knew how many thousands of feet above the city, creeping alo
ngside the skyscrapers…floating somewhere in between the clouds and the spires atop some of the tallest buildings in the world. In this little tiny machine that made a lot of noise, he wouldn’t even be able to hear her primal scream to alert him that she was about to throw up in his lap!
“I can’t drink, Drew,” she said somberly. “I took my medication…”
Diving headfirst into his chagrin, Drew turned away. “My batting average sucks tonight, doesn't it?” he asked. “I'm sorry, little one. But I'm happy you're following your regimen.”
“We’re going to die tonight.”
“Maxine, what are you talking about…?” he said, his voice full of worry…and a bit of disappointment. Then realization washed over him suddenly. She was fucking scared out of her mind. “You don’t want to do this, do you?”
She closed her eyes and shook her head. She simply couldn’t look at him—not after he’d spent all of this money and gone through so much trouble to arrange this ride at the last minute. You are dumped, little one, she convinced herself. He’s dunzo with you.
With that, he pulled back and unfastened the seatbelt he’d just secured, and took both of her hands in his. “Come on…”
“But what…you…are…you can’t just abandon this…”
“Yeah,” he nodded as he hopped out and had a quick word with the pilot before stretching out his arms to help her back down the ladder. “I can…”
“But Drew, you went through all the trouble to set this up and—”
He didn’t just hold her close once she’d made her exit—he lifted her into his arms and squeezed her tight right beneath the spinning rotor blades as they began to slow to a stop above them. “Trust, Maxine,” he spoke directly into her ear to make sure that she heard him. “If I forced you into this, you’d just go on believing that I should be able to force you into anything.”
“But this has nothing to do with sex!” she insisted.
WEAKENED: The Manhattan Bound Series Book One Page 27