by Jess Bryant
During any other visit, it wouldn’t have bugged her at all. She was used to them treating her like her mere presence was a gift. But this time it rankled and she couldn’t begin to explain to them why without getting into a bunch of explanations that she wasn’t ready to give out yet. Because of that she should have been pleased with her family’s obvious attempts not to ask her too many questions about her impromptu visit, and she was, but it just made everything feel even more… off.
Lemon pushed off the wall and headed for the kitchen where she poured herself another glass of wine and then she snuck out the front door. They wouldn’t even miss her. At least not for a while. She took a deep breath of the cool night air as she slipped down to sit on the front steps. It was a nice night and the sun had dried everything out enough from the previous day’s rain that she didn’t worry about getting her jeans dirty as she stretched her bare feet out in front of her.
Nights like this were always her favorite part of being home. In a small town like Fate there was nothing but quiet and crickets. The only lights were from the few other houses on the block that had left their porch-lamps on and a streetlamp at the intersection. Out here alone like this, breathing in the sweet spring air, she felt like all of her problems could be fixed. She didn’t know why that was. It had always been that way. She liked quiet, dark nights and had spent many of them on the roof just outside her bedroom window, dreaming of her future. Tonight, she didn’t want to think about the future anymore and since she wasn’t thinking about that her eyes and her mind immediately drifted to the house across the street.
Shane’s house was dark. His truck wasn’t in the driveway. He wasn’t home and she assumed he was still at work. It was late enough that she supposed he could be out somewhere, with someone, but he’d told her during their run that he didn’t date.
She hated that she’d enjoyed hearing that so much. She shouldn’t have. She knew that.
Logically, she shouldn’t have even been flirting with him. He was a family friend. He had a life here complete with an ex-wife he claimed was still his best friend and three beautiful daughters that Lemon enjoyed spoiling. They called her Auntie Lemon for God’s sake. Flirting with him was bound to make their interactions awkward and even thinking about taking it further than that would be a mistake. Rationally she knew all of that.
But then she remembered the way he’d looked in the early morning light, backlit by the sun, dimples and white teeth flashing and that broad muscular chest, the trail of dark hair that disappeared into the band of his running shorts, and she ached in an entirely different way. She ached to touch him, to taste him, to feel him against her. She ached for him to look at her again the way he’d looked at her when she accidentally all but flashed him, with heat and desire and longing.
Wanting him was problematic at best. Stupid at worst. But impossible to deny. She wanted Shane Lowry and she thought he wanted her. Neither of them was prepared to do a thing about it though and that, well, that she could deal with.
Flirting with Shane was fun. Running with Shane was fun. Talking to Shane was fun. And she needed some fun in her life right now. She needed something easy and being near him made her feel lighter. So she would run with him in the morning and laugh with him over stupid old jokes and flirt with him if she felt like it and that would be enough to distract her from the problems she couldn’t seem to really run away from.
“Hey Daydreamer, scooch over.”
Lemon jumped and nearly spilled her wine as she spun to find her sister sliding onto the step beside, “Fuck, Lydie, you scared me.”
“Language, Lem.” Her baby sister chided as she stretched out her legs, “And for the record, I said hi twice. What are you doing out here?”
“Just getting some fresh air.”
“Just hiding out you mean.” Her sister knocked shoulders with her and Lemon ignored the knowing look she saw in the face that looked so much like her own.
Sometimes people confused them for twins. They had the same blonde hair. The same blue eyes. The same heart shaped faces and full lips. Lydia was a few inches taller. Lemon was a little bit curvier. Lydia had cut her hair short recently and she’d added a couple of pounds after having the boys but they still looked so much alike that it was difficult for Lemon to look at her and see the concern and worry there.
“I’m not hiding.”
“Fine. You’re not hiding on the porch, but you are hiding in Fate, aren’t you?” Her sister broached the topic that no one had dared ask over dinner.
“I’m not hiding. I’m just… taking a vacation. I think I’ve earned a few days at home with my family to decompress. Don’t you?”
“Sure. Of course. Nobody works harder than you. I know that.” Lydia took a sip from her own glass of wine, “I’d have gone somewhere warm with a beach and a cabana boy that delivered fruity drinks without me having to get up but hey… Fate’s a nice vacation spot too.”
Lemon laughed, “That’s what I tell people.”
Lydia only sighed, “You can tell me whatever is really going on. You know that right? You can tell me anything.”
“I know.” She stared at her rapidly diminishing glass of wine.
“I’m not going to judge you or think less of you.”
“I know.”
“I’ll help you figure out whatever it is. It’s what I do, remember? You tell me what the problem is and we’ll figure out a way to fix it together just like in the old days.”
Lemon almost smiled at the offer but the reminder of what they were talking about kept it from spreading. That was her sister. The fixer.
Lydia was only a couple of years younger than her and they’d always been close. Nobody knew her better. Though she was the younger sister, Lydia had always been her sounding board, her shoulder and her support. When she’d decided she was running away to Nashville instead of going to college, Lydia was the first person she’d told. Barely a teenager at the time, her little sister had given her lists of pros and cons, lists of things to do, lists of places she should stop along the way and lists of possible apartments and jobs. Lydia was the planner, the organizer, the one that had been born for motherhood because she had a sweet, caregiving nature.
But she couldn’t fix this with a hug and a cookie or a list of options.
“Lydie…” She shook her head and her sister frowned.
“Why are you here, Lemon? Really? Why are you hiding? Who are you hiding from?”
“I told you, I’m not hiding.”
“But you’re running away from something or you’re avoiding something and Mom and Dad are worried. They didn’t want me to say anything but they’re worried, Lem.”
“They don’t have any reason to be worried.”
“Of course they do.” Lydia scoffed, “Their oldest daughter showed up on their front porch it the middle of the night with no warning and no explanation. They’re worried about you and honestly, after sitting through that dinner with you and seeing you for myself, so am I.”
Lemon felt tears well behind her eyes and tried to blink them back, “There’s nothing to worry about.”
“Lem…” Her sister reached out and took her hand, “We love you.”
A tear slipped down her cheek and she pulled her hand away to wipe at it, “I know. I love you all too. That’s why I’m here. I just need some time to relax and figure things out and I want to do that here, with my family.”
“Why are you out here by yourself then?”
“Truth?”
“That’d be nice.” Lydia gave her a small smile.
“It was just too much in there.”
“What was too much?”
“You and your perfect family.”
“Lem….” Lydia scoffed but she shook her head.
“I’m serious, Lydie. I was standing in there watching Mom and Dad play with your boys. I was watching you and Tony together. And all I could think was how jealous I am of everything that you have.”
Her sister opened h
er mouth, gaped at her and then shut it again with a confused look. Lemon sighed, knowing she should have kept that to herself. It gave away too much. It led to a conversation she wasn’t ready to have.
Lydia finally spoke, “What?”
“I was jealous. Green with envy even.”
“But… why?”
“Because you have everything you ever wanted. Tony and the boys and your life here in Fate. You have your own beautiful, loving family. A husband that adores you and two little boys that look at you with stars in their eyes.”
“That’s because I feed them and change them.” Lydia joked.
“I’m not kidding.” Lemon shook her head, “I was standing in there watching all of you and all I could think about was how you got everything you wanted and how jealous it made me.”
“But you… you’re the one that got out of here.” Lydia still looked confused, “You ran off to Nashville to be a star and you are, Lemon. You’re a superstar. You’ve traveled the world and performed for millions of people. You’re on tv and in magazines and you hang out with celebrities. You write your songs and you play your music to adoring fans that know your words and sing it back to you. That’s what you always wanted.”
“I know.” She dropped her head, “I know.”
Lydia eyed her warily, “But you’re jealous of me? Why?”
“Because it’s not enough.” Lemon wiped at another tear as it slipped free, “I’m a horrible person for saying it but it’s not enough. Sheet music doesn’t keep me warm at night and lyrics don’t kiss me good morning and I’m all alone.”
“Oh… Lemon.” Her sister sighed as she fell apart, “You’re not alone.”
“Yeah. I am. I’m surrounded by people and I’m always still so alone.”
“Honey, you’re not alone. You have me. You have all of us. We love you.”
“I know that. That’s why I’m here. I just… being here with you all is good but it also reminds me that I’m nowhere close to having what you have.”
“Is this about Alec?”
Lemon groaned at the mention of her ex-husband, “No. Not really.”
“Lem…”
She shook her head, knowing she’d already said too much. She’d admitted things she was ashamed to even think. She was jealous of her sister. She wanted more than she’d already been blessed with. She was lonely and sad and she had no idea how to fix it. But she wasn’t ready to talk about the rest of it, the part of it that hurt the most, and if she let Alec be part of this conversation it would eventually lead to that.
“No, just… no. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m not ready to talk about it okay?”
“Okay.” Lydia put an arm around her shoulder as Lemon wiped at another tear, “I’ll drop it.”
“Thank you.” She breathed out evenly, trying to collect herself and thank her sister properly for not pushing.
“Just, do me a favor and tell me it’s nothing like drugs or anything like that so I can reassure Mom and Dad.”
“Jesus.” Lemon snorted out a laugh as she wiped at her cheeks, “No, God no. It’s nothing like that.”
“Good.”
“Do they really think if I was on drugs that I would come home?”
Lydia laughed, “They’re parents. Dad’s a lawyer. Their first thought is always drugs. Remember when I started dating Tony and we were sneaking around? Mom swore I was on drugs and that’s why I was late for curfew.”
Lemon giggled, “That’s probably my fault. She caught me and Seth smoking a joint out in the shed once.”
“Oh my God you never told me that!” Lydia shoved her playfully.
“Of course I didn’t tell you I got caught smoking weed.”
“With the Sherriff’s son no less.”
Lemon laughed, “I didn’t tell you I smoked weed with the Sherriff’s son because you’re my little sister. I might not have been a great role model but I wasn’t going to be that girl either.”
Lydia laughed again, “You were a great role model.”
“Yeah, because I didn’t tell you I snuck out to smoke weed with Seth all the time.” Lemon giggled.
“Wow, just wow…” Lydia shook her head, “That actually explains a lot of questions I had about you in high school.”
“What?”
“I thought you were sneaking off to have sex.”
“What?!?” Lemon whipped her head around in shock, “With Seth?”
“You two were together all the time and…”
“Son of a bitch!”
“Language, Lem!”
“Sorry.” She laughed, “That’s just… Damn. That’s the second time I’ve heard that today.”
“Heard what?”
She shook her head, “Did everyone think Seth and I were a couple back then?”
“Uh... maybe?”
“We were just friends, for the record. I’m starting to feel like maybe I should put out an ad in the newspaper saying that or something.”
Lydia laughed, “What? What are you talking about? Someone else asked you about Seth today? Was it Mom? Because I think you should know she had very real plans with Rosa for you two to end up together. Like arranged marriage style wedding details.”
“No!” Lemon covered her mouth when she shouted and her sister nodded, “We were just friends!”
“You were together all the time.”
“Because we were best friends!” She whined.
“Plenty of friends turn into couples. Look at me and Tony.”
“I never, ever thought of Seth like that.”
“Sure.” Lydia teased and Lemon shoved her playfully.
“I didn’t! We were friends. Oh my God, I really am going to put out a public notice. Seth was like a brother to me. I did not have a thing for Seth. Jesus, that’s just… gross.”
A pair of headlights lit them up as a truck came up the street and they both averted their gaze until it passed. Only it didn’t pass. It turned in across the street and Lemon bit her bottom lip as her heart started to race. She hadn’t even seen him yet. It was just his truck. And already her body was reacting.
The truck stopped in the driveway across the street and the lights went off as the driver’s side door opened and a large figure stepped out. Her breath caught, again, and she wondered if that would always be a normal occurrence around Shane Lowry. The heart racing, stomach twisting, panty melting reaction was so over the top that she could do nothing but stare at him.
Even from this distance, she could see his white teeth flash as he smiled and waved, “Evening ladies.”
“Hey Shane.” Lydia called back since Lemon had yet to roll her tongue back up.
How did the man manage to make even that ugly, brown deputy’s uniform look good? It shouldn’t have. It should have made him look like a UPS man or a kid playing dress up.
But there was nothing childish about Shane in that uniform. He was muscles and discipline and barely contained power. And she wanted to rip him out of it until she could see and touch and taste all of him.
God he was so sexy.
“Lemon.” He added with a grin, as if he could read her dirty thoughts from a hundred yards away.
“Deputy Do-Right.” She teased with a grin of her own, “Catch any criminal masterminds today?”
“Nah but I’ve got my eye on one.” He chuckled and then shook his head, as if he couldn’t believe he’d said that, “You ladies have a nice night. Don’t drink and drive, Lydia. See you in the morning Lemon.”
“Night, Shane.” She called back with a finger roll that earned her another chuckle before he disappeared into his house.
She couldn’t stop grinning at his damn door. He’d flirted with her. Again. And she couldn’t stop freaking smiling. Somehow, that was all it took to wipe out her bad mood. The tears were forgotten. Shane had appeared out of thin air like the sexy freaking guardian angel of good moods and sprinkled that sparkly, tingly feel good dust all over her.
“Oh my God…” L
ydia’s voice snapped her back into reality and she saw her sister’s wide eyes, “What the hell was that?”
“Language, Lydie.” She teased.
“Oh don’t even.” Her sister smacked her in the shoulder, “What was that?”
“Um, our neighbor, the local town deputy? I think his name is Shane or Shawn or…”
“You’re such a pain in the ass.” Lydia laughed, “Was Shane Lowry flirting with you?”
She bit her lip in an attempt to curb her smile, “Is that what it looked like?”
“Uh huh… and that ear-splitting grin you’re trying to hide is proof of it.”
She covered her mouth with her hand, “Shane totally just flirted with me.”
“Yeah. He did. So you need to tell me what the hell is going on. Right now.”
Lemon’s smile faltered, “Why are you getting all Mom on me about this?”
“Because Shane Lowry doesn’t flirt with people, Lemon. He’s like Fate’s most eligible bachelor only everyone knows that he won’t ever get married again. He doesn’t date. He hasn’t since the divorce. All he does, ever, is work and take care of his kids.”
“And run.”
“What?”
“He runs every morning before work.”
Lydia narrowed her eyes, “He runs every morning before work? Is that like code? Are you trying to tell me something?”
Her sister was freaking out about this for some reason. Lemon thought she understood but she also didn’t. Shane had told her he didn’t date. She already knew that. But he was still more than just a father. He was still a man with needs. Surely he must see someone, on occasion, no matter what he’d said or what Lydia was implying. Right?
“I’m telling you that he runs and I maybe, might have, gone running with him this morning.”
“What?”
“I was out getting the mail and he ran by and we got to talking and he invited me to go running with him.” She shrugged when her sister continued to eye her skeptically, “He remembered that I used to run, back in school, so we went for a run this morning. It was fun. It was really fun actually and I’m supposed to meet him to do it again in the morning.”