by Sofia Grey
My anger dissolved as rapidly as sugar in hot coffee. Her distress was genuine and, I reminded myself, this was a funeral with emotions running high anyway. “Don’t do it again.” There was no heat in my words, and she gazed up at me.
Even with red, tear-swollen eyes, Steph was delicately pretty, and her wobbly smile was aimed at me. “Thank you. I can’t thank you enough for rescuing my baby. King means the world to me. I had no idea I’d been so long.” More tears cascaded, and she swept them away with the back of her hand.
I’m not sure who moved first, Steph or Zack, but before I could reply she stood nestled against his chest with his arms wrapped around her. “It’s okay.” His voice was gentle. “He’ll be okay. I know you didn’t mean to.”
Meanwhile, Zack’s mother curled her fingers around my elbow and led me a few steps away. Was she going to apologize?
“I don’t know who you are and can only assume you’re one of Zachary’s random hookups.” The ice in her tone took my breath away, and that was before I even registered how rude she was. “We’ve just held the funeral for my beloved daughter and the last thing I want is some tart causing trouble over a dog. A stupid mutt.” She pressed her fist against her mouth, and I saw tears sparkling in her eyes.
I opened my mouth to speak but she rushed on over my words. “I can be polite, even though you don’t deserve it. Please leave us. Let Zachary comfort Steph. She’s practically his fiancée, as well as my daughter’s closest friend, and I don’t think it’s fair to upset her any further with your presence, don’t you agree?”
Ouch. That put me in my place. Acid pooled in my gut. Practically his fiancée. Although, if that was true, why hadn’t he sought comfort with her last night? Or maybe he had, after he left me. I stared at them, huddled together and oblivious to the world. Zack’s lips moved, close to her ear, and she nodded while wiping her eyes on a tissue. They looked good together. It’s only sex. Yeah, but the greatest sex I’d ever had.
He’d only offered me two nights. I could hardly protest now.
My silence must have satisfied his mother. She released my elbow and dabbed at her eyes with a lace-trimmed handkerchief. “You must excuse me.”
I just nodded. I’d wait for Zack to finish comforting Steph and then ask if he still wanted me to stay. If he’d changed his mind I’d leave. It’s only sex.
When he lifted his head a few minutes later, his gaze flew over the immediate group, finally coming to rest on me. The tightness in his jaw relaxed, and he gave me a lopsided smile.
One smile and I was suddenly feeling unaccountably shy. I’d seen him naked, for God’s sake. We’d fucked. So why did I now feel awkward with him? Was it something to do with the fragile-looking blonde who’d become glued to his side? “Hey,” I murmured while trying not to fidget.
“We, um, skipped the introductions.” He sounded unsure of himself. “Steph, this is Holly.” The latest random hookup. His mother’s words danced in front of me, and it was an effort to ignore them. Steph chewed on a trembling lower lip and stared at me. “Holly, this is Steph.” His discomfort was tangible, and I took pity on him.
“I live by the beach. I only met Zack yesterday and now I feel awful for gate-crashing, but I was passing by and wanted to pay my respects.”
Her face lit up. “Did you know Marnie? We were best friends all through school, but then lost touch a bit. We talked on Facebook, of course, but didn’t catch up in person.” She snuggled closer to Zack. “I just moved to Wellington a few weeks ago and hoped to spend more time with her. I still can’t believe she’s gone.” Tears filled her eyes.
“I can’t believe her boyfriend didn’t come today.” Zack spat the words out.
“Do you mean Barry?” Steph looked puzzled. “Didn’t she tell you? They split up.”
Chapter Thirteen
I wanted to hug Zack, to soothe the new pain I saw in his eyes.
“No, Marnie didn’t tell me.” He sounded lost. “When?”
“A couple of weeks ago. I think it was right after your latest deployment.”
“Fuck.” He released Steph and then tugged off his beret and scrubbed at his hair. “Why didn’t she tell me?” He twisted the hat between his hands, backward and forward. I think he’d forgotten I was there. His sole focus was on Steph.
She shrugged. “Maybe she didn’t want to worry you. She’d moved out, you know. Renting a room in a house near the railway station. I don’t think Barry took it well.”
Zack slowly replaced his beret and then held out a hand to me. My heart leaped. “I was going to check her house to make sure Barry hadn’t thrown out her things.” His voice was gruff. I clasped his outstretched hand and gave him a little squeeze as he tangled our fingers together. “I guess I don’t need to do that now.”
Steph’s gaze was fixed on our linked hands. “I’ll pack up all her stuff for you. Keep it safe for when you come back.”
“Thanks.”
Silence fell between us, and Steph was the first to speak. “Caroline’s inviting everyone back to her hotel for refreshments. Are you going?”
“No.” He glanced at me. “My mother lives in Auckland, if you were wondering.” I was unlikely to bump into her around the village, and that was a relief. The conversation ground to an awkward halt again.
“Are you going back on deployment? After this?” Steph’s eyes shone with more unshed tears, and I questioned their relationship again. I’d never felt more like an intruder, and I itched to slink away and leave them to their private good-bye, but Zack gripped my hand.
“Yeah. I fly back tomorrow.”
She slipped her arms around Zack’s neck and hugged him, pressing a soft kiss against his cheek. He managed a clumsy, one-armed hug in return, without releasing my hand. “Stay safe, Zack.”
This was awful. It was blindingly obvious to me that she loved him, was in love with him, and he’d all but brushed her off. Was this how he behaved with women? Did he leave a trail of broken hearts behind him wherever he went? Would mine be next? And where the hell had that thought come from?
I painted a polite smile on my face and waited for an appropriate moment to speak. “I need to run some errands. Can I give you a ride anywhere, Zack?”
“Yeah, please. That’d be, uh, good.” He detached himself from Steph, only she hadn’t finished yet.
“Can I take your number, Zack?” The naked longing on her face was painful. He hesitated but she leaped in before he could say anything. “I’ll text you when I’ve got all Marnie’s stuff safe.”
I waited and tried not to watch as they swapped numbers, and then finally Zack turned to me and squared his shoulders. The car park crowd had thinned out, but there were still plenty of mourners who wanted his attention as we headed out to the street. I glanced back and saw Steph, under the tree, King by her side and her gaze fixed on Zack.
What had I barged into?
Zack broke away and followed me to my beat-up old Honda Prelude. I’d left it behind when I ran away to Europe, expecting Jas to sell it, but he’d hung on to it. Maybe he’d always known I’d come back one day.
He leaned back on my car and stared into the distance, twisting his cap some more in his hands. “She’s gone,” he whispered. “It didn’t seem real. Not until now.” His stricken gaze locked onto me. “Like I could pretend she was still here. You know?” He snapped his mouth shut, his jaw tense.
This could have been me, if Jas hadn’t been so lucky. I stepped forward and placed my hand on Zack’s arm. “What do you want to do now? Tell me what I can do to help.”
He stared blankly at me. “I have to get away from here.” He shivered. “It smells like death.”
“I need to get some groceries today, but we could go somewhere first if you like.”
“Yeah.” He stared into the distance. “Mind if I drive?” He turned to me, his face shuttered. I hesitated. Was he in a fit state to concentrate on the road?
“I’m fine to drive. You’ll be safe with me. And besid
es, there’s somewhere I’d like to go. I haven’t been there in years.”
…
Did I have a premonition of where he’d want to go? I agreed before asking where he meant, keen to replace the anguish with anything I could. And really, this was just a road. Nothing special.
I gripped the edges of my seat so tightly, I couldn’t imagine uncurling my fingers ever again. A trickle of perspiration broke out on my forehead, but I daren’t lift my hand to wipe it away. My gaze danced between mirrors and the road ahead, and every meter we climbed higher, my chest grew tighter.
At each bend I held my breath until we were safely around it. I’d known this route once like the back of my hand, I’d traveled it so often, but now I saw it through fresh eyes. My heart hammered, and my stomach protested.
Finally we made it to the large and empty parking area at the top of the hill. Zack nosed into a space overlooking the bay, and I closed my eyes. I’d made it. The breath juddered in and out of my lungs, and my head ached from concentrating so hard, but I was still here.
Zack’s hand on my thigh made me jump. “Sorry,” he murmured, his fingers stroking a soothing pattern. “It’s a long way up here.”
I hadn’t noticed him removing his seat belt, but he must have, because he popped open the door and climbed out. With both hands jammed in his pockets, he wandered to the safety fence and stared out at the amazing view beyond. With luck, he was so caught up with his own angst that he hadn’t noticed my fear. Holy fuck, I’d made it.
We still had to drive back down.
Nausea churned in my belly, and I closed my eyes again, dropping my head to the dashboard. I can do this.
The door clicked on my side. I opened my eyes to see Zack staring at me, worry etched on his face. As I watched, he unclipped me from the belt, worked my fingers free of their death grip on the seat, and then he pulled me gently out of the car. With my face pressed into his chest I could finally breathe normally again, and I clung to him, our roles suddenly reversed.
“Was this where you lost your parents?”
Chapter Fourteen
I nodded at Zack’s question, and he squeezed me closer. He peppered my hair with little kisses, drowning me in affection. “Christ. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I took a deep breath, and then another, and waited until my breathing was something like normal. “It’s the first time I’ve been back. Here.” Terrifying as it had been, a small part of me felt proud for taking this step when I’d been avoiding it for years. “And this is where Jas wrecked his car. It’s not my favorite place.”
He nuzzled the shell of my ear, his hot breath driving some of the chill from my body. Desire stirred deep inside me. “I can give you a good memory of this place.”
The image of him with his hands in my jeans was unforgettable. My cheeks heated. “What are you thinking of?” It came out as a whisper.
“Hmm.” He slid his hands down my back to cup my ass. A jolt of raw lust flashed over me, and I squirmed, moisture dampening my panties. “I like this skirt on you.”
I felt him hitching up the hem at the back, little by little, over my thighs, until my panties were exposed. I was desperate for another tangle with him, for him to reduce me to a quivering sticky mess. If he asked me to strip naked right there, I’d consider it.
Instead, he eased me back to the car and claimed the driver’s seat, rapidly shoving it back for the maximum amount of legroom. He positioned me to stand facing into the open car. “Put your hands on the roof and keep them there.” Dark excitement filled my belly. What was he going to do? “Tell me if anyone comes near.” The car park was deserted at the moment but wasn’t likely to stay that way.
“Hmm,” he murmured when I nodded, the corners of his lips curling upward. “You have to keep your hands still, or I stop.” Stop what? Zack sat with his legs out of the car, feet planted firmly on the ground. He tugged me nearer to the open door, my skirt still bunched around my hips, and then he eased down my panties. They pooled around my ankles. Oh. My. God. He wasn’t going to…was he?
Holy fuck, he was. Thanks to my car being a low-slung coupe, his face met the apex of my thighs perfectly. Both hands held my ass, keeping me in position. I couldn’t move, even if I wanted to. I pressed my hands flat onto the hot roof, anticipation burning in my veins.
I felt his breath first. It seared my flesh, and I trembled. He hadn’t even touched me, and I was weak in the knees. The flick of his tongue made me moan. He licked a teasing path up and down, skirting around my clit, no matter how much I tried to push my hips forward. He was playing with me, and I luxuriated in it.
He closed his mouth around my clit and sucked. A myriad of sensations bombarded me and all my nerve endings erupted. I whimpered. The sound dragged from my throat, and I clenched my fists on the roof. I was a heartbeat away from coming, and I wouldn’t have cared if a busload of tourists had parked next to me. I was blind and dumb, only aware of the pleasure Zack spun out of me.
I didn’t notice one of his hands moving, but a long finger slid inside me and I cried out, clenching around the digit, my hips bucking as though they had a mind of their own. He tortured me, kept me hanging on the edge while he lapped and licked, his finger lazily sliding in and out.
I’d never handed control to my lover before. It scared me how right it felt.
The dark part of my soul pushed my fears aside and concentrated on what he was doing. His finger pumped harder and curved to hit my sweet spot, and the breath stuck in my chest.
Another suck to my clit sent me spiraling headfirst into my climax, and I sagged as the tremors wracked my body, unable to stand by myself. He’d done it again. Reduced me to a liquid mess in a public place. My eyes were shut tight, and I sucked in a ragged breath before I dared open them.
I blinked in the bright light and scanned the car park. Still empty. What was it about this man? Why was I so reckless with him?
With Zack’s arms around me, I felt invincible. I sighed, fully sated and reluctant to move, and leaned down to press a series of tiny kisses along his stubbled jaw. He pulled my skirt back into place, smoothing it across my bare ass. Where were my panties? Oh yeah, on the ground. I took a deep breath and leaned down to pick them up, only to see Zack reaching for them. I held out my hand but he shoved them in his pocket.
My mouth fell open. A myriad of thoughts jogged before me, but no words actually made it to my tongue.
He shrugged. “They’re covered in gravel.”
Rather than burning up with embarrassment asking for them back, I tried to appear nonchalant and stared into the distance, as though admiring the view. He’d taken my panties. That was sexy and outrageous at the same time.
It was a while before I could speak again. “So why did you want to come up here? What’s special about this place for you?”
In reply, he snagged my hand and scrambled out of the car, then tugged me to follow him, walking to the very edge of the car park. A waist-high metal barrier was there to stop small children and dogs from running toward the cliff, but the grass extended for several yards before it became dangerous. “Come on. Up here.” He patted the barrier, then picked me up and swung me up to sit astride it. The width of a stair banister, I could balance easily, and I watched in amusement as Zack vaulted right over it. He beckoned me to join him and then turned to stand with his back to the barrier, with me nestling in his embrace.
“Now turn around, baby. I’ll hold you.”
The view was breathtaking. Without the barrier in the way, I had an unobstructed sight of the cliff dropping to the sea so very far below. The sun beat down on us, creating sparkles in the water and bouncing off the cars on the highway. From here they looked like toys. I laughed, delighted, and Zack kissed the back of my neck.
“It feels like the top of the world.” His hands rested on my waist, strong and firm. “Did I give you a good new memory, Holly? Something to remember me by?”
Chapter Fifteen
Zack drove careful
ly down the hill, and I tried to focus on something else. I had to get some groceries, but apart from making sure my brother was okay, and walking the dogs, I was free for the afternoon.
I traced little circles on Zack’s thigh with my finger, enjoying the solid strength of his muscles. He scooped up my hand and kissed the palm. “Come back to my place?” I nodded, my cheeks warming under his intense gaze. His focus shifted back to the road, but he kept hold of my hand. “You said you have some errands?”
With an effort, I tried to remember my shopping list. “Yeah. The little shop in the village is fine.”
He flashed me a filthy grin. “I need to buy condoms.” I squirmed in my seat, instantly wet. Oh yes, please. Lots and lots of them. When I waved him good-bye tomorrow, I wanted to be so well shagged that I ached for a week. Would my heart ache for longer?
When he’d held me at the top of the cliff and asked if he’d given me a good memory, I’d wanted to say so many things all at once, and so I said nothing. The moment was too powerful, too intimate, to sully with bad jokes. I’d grasped his hands and leaned back in to him, and just felt. I’d never forget that. In years to come I’d remember the feeling of him behind me, the world spread at our feet.
Lost in thought, I glanced up and realized we were almost home. I directed him to the corner shop, and we walked inside, hand in hand. Like a heavy overcoat, his somber mood wrapped around him once more. I would do everything I could to distract him today. I saw his reluctance to let me go, but I slipped free, grabbed a wire basket, and went to get the food I needed, leaving Zack to buy some condoms.
As I scanned the rack of eggs, looking for the free-range ones, I felt a prickling at the back of my neck. Pausing, I glanced over my shoulder to see Zack gazing at me. The raw emotion on his face stole the breath from my lungs.
There was a long moment where we just stared at each other, and then he strode toward me, claimed the basket, and took my hand. “Nearly done?” His voice was gruff, but the brief kiss he dropped on my knuckles was tender.