by B. J Daniels
When she appeared at the side of the cabin, he was confused to see that she was dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt. He hadn’t purchased either for her. Even stranger, she had a long-handled shovel in one hand and he could see even from a distance that her hands were muddy, as were the knees of the jeans.
“Sarah?” he called, feeling slightly off balance by this image of the woman.
Not only that, she had seemed both surprised and upset by his unexpected appearance. Normally he would have called on his way to let her know he was coming. Today he’d come on the spur of the moment. He’d been thinking about her and had just driven toward the mountains to check on her.
Now he felt as if he’d caught her doing something she shouldn’t have.
“Is everything all right?” he asked as he got out and walked up the slope to her.
She gave him an embarrassed shake of her head. “You’re going to think me so foolish. I found a dead cat this morning on the deck. The poor thing. I couldn’t tell if it starved to death or died of some illness. I found these clothes in the closet and a shovel in the shed out back.”
“You should have called me. I would have been happy to do it for you,” he said, noting that she looked winded as if the exertion had worn her out. He reminded himself that she probably wasn’t used to the altitude compared with where she’d spent the past twenty-two years.
“I put the cat in a plastic garbage bag and took it back into the woods to bury it. I didn’t realize what a job it was going to be.” She sighed.
Even dirty and tired, her cheek smeared with soil, she looked beautiful. The physical work had put color in her cheeks, and her blue eyes shone with something close to excitement. He realized she must have been going crazy up here for something to do.
“Let me get cleaned up,” she said. “I need to wash these clothes before your daughter finds out I borrowed them.”
“She said to use whatever you found up here,” he assured her as he took the shovel from her. “I’ll put this away for you. I picked up some groceries for you, a couple of steaks I could throw on the grill and a huckleberry pie I bought at the Branding Iron café. I hope you’re hungry.”
“Ravenous,” she said as she trotted up the steps like a woman half her age.
Later, Russell noticed that Sarah’s energy level had dropped. He could see that something was bothering her and guessed it was the fact that the senator was leaving again. He’d seen on the news last night that Senator Buckmaster Hamilton was scheduled for a debate in Iowa in a few days. That meant he and his wife would be leaving Montana for an unspecified amount of time.
He decided to address the elephant in the room head-on. “I heard that Buckmaster is leaving for the campaign trail,” he said and took a bite of the meal he’d brought.
“Yes, he called to tell me earlier,” she said without looking up from her plate. “Now that Bo is safe, there’s nothing keeping him here.”
“Then Angelina is going with him?”
Sarah looked up. “She’s his wife.”
“Are you going to be all right?” he asked and reached across the table to take her hand. She’d seemed more than a little distressed earlier when he’d found her coming back from burying the dead cat. There was still something jittery about her. He feared she was thinking about taking off for only God knew where.
“If you’re unhappy staying here...”
“No. That is, I love spending time with you. The rest of my day...” She looked away.
He felt his heart do a little loop-de-loop. “So you’re considering moving onto the ranch as the senator suggested?”
She laughed. “Not as long as Angelina is alive!” She shook her head and squeezed his hand, then let it go. “That isn’t what I meant. It’s taken me a while, but I’ve come to realize that I no longer have a place in Buck’s life. So,” she said, trying to look more cheerful, “I need to get a life of my own.”
That sounded good to him, unless getting a life of her own meant leaving. He asked her as much.
“You’ve been wonderful, but I can’t keep doing this.” She held up her hand to kill his protests. “For all of our sakes, I need to move on.”
He threw down his napkin and rose from the table. Reaching for her hand, he pulled her to her feet.
Russell had never been impulsive. He thought out everything before making a decision. He told himself he’d been thinking about this for months. Even as he drew Sarah into his arms, he knew this was still out of character for him.
But he couldn’t let her leave. Over these months, he’d fallen in love with her. He was tired of pretending otherwise, and he said as much.
“Marry me,” he said. “Sarah—” He was ready to list all the reasons they should be together, but she didn’t give him a chance.
“You’re right. I need to find my own happiness. That’s what Buck did. He’s got his political career and a wife by his side.” She met his gaze. “But I can’t destroy your life in an attempt to make mine better.”
“You won’t destroy my life.”
She let out a laugh and stepped away. “You don’t know how close I was to saying yes.”
“Then do.”
She shook her head. “Even not knowing where I’ve been, what I’ve been, you’d marry me?”
“I love you.”
She took a breath and let it out slowly. “You know me better than anyone. At least what there is to know.”
“Once you move on, the press will lose interest in you. You can have a normal life.”
She stared at him for a long moment. “Normal?”
“Wouldn’t you like a normal life, Sarah, out of the public eye?”
She nodded, a tear coursing down one cheek. “What about my past?”
“It hasn’t come after you. It’s been months. Photos from your time with Buckmaster have been plastered all over the internet and newspapers around the world. If there is a past that you have to fear, then you should have heard from it by now, don’t you think?”
She wiped at the tear with her free hand. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t. And should this past that you fear come looking for you, I’ll take care of it.”
“Buck will be—”
“Off campaigning for president with his wife at his side,” he interrupted, knowing what she was going to say. Of course, Buck would be furious. If he’d had his way, he would have Sarah living on the ranch, locked away so he wouldn’t have to give up either wife.
“Your former husband has had months to make a change if he was so inclined,” Russell said not unkindly. “He chose the presidency and the wife who could best get him there.”
* * *
SARAH HEARD THE truth in Russell’s words, but it didn’t make it any easier. Maybe Buckmaster had kept her in prison for the missing years she couldn’t remember. Maybe not. But there was no doubt that she was a prisoner now.
Russell was right. Her options were limited. She could take off, try to disappear again, but with her photo—even one from years ago—everywhere, she wouldn’t be able to run from the publicity. Even with the money that Buck had given her to live on, she would be a recluse, hidden away out of sight while he followed his dream.
“You have no idea what you’re proposing.”
“Don’t I? The press will quit hounding you once you break your ties with Buckmaster.”
“I’ll still be the mother of his children.”
“His grown children. There’s no story there. Right now, it’s a love triangle. You’re the odd woman out. As Mrs. Russell Murdock, you’ll be a forgotten footnote in history.”
She stared at him. He was offering her anonymity.
“Let Buckmaster go. He’s let you go.”
She felt herself weaken. He was right. She an
d Buck could never be together again. Even if something happened to Angelina and there was a chance for her and Buck to find each other again, the press would crucify him. He could never get elected with her at his side. Buck deserved to be president. He’d worked hard for it. No matter what he might have done after she tried to kill herself, she believed he would be a good president.
“Well, Sarah?” Russell asked. “Will you marry me? I’ll get down on one knee if—”
“That isn’t necessary. The media is convinced I’m a flake, a lunatic, a bad mother and a mental case. Can we do this right by starting with an engagement? Not a long one. Just long enough that this doesn’t come off as something I’ve done that is even crazier.”
He smiled. “I’ll get you a ring tomorrow.”
“I will need to talk to Buck first.” She saw him grit his teeth.
“Whatever you need to do.”
Sarah studied his handsome face, thinking about the grave she’d dug earlier today. Now she felt as if she was digging Russell’s. He knew how she still felt about Buck. He really seemed to believe that his love could conquer all. She almost felt sorry for him. She tried to tell herself she wasn’t using this kind, loving man, but she knew she was.
“You might want to prepare your daughter.”
His expression said he doubted anything could prepare his daughter for this. “I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”
That was good, because she suspected the county would think he’d lost his mind. Love did that to a person, she thought.
“I should call Buck.”
* * *
SENATOR BUCKMASTER HAMILTON stared at his open suitcase. In Washington, he had a staff. But here at the ranch, he preferred doing things himself. He liked his life to be as down-to-earth as possible. It’s why he rode his horse every afternoon he was home. He didn’t want to forget his roots.
It was also why he didn’t own a jet, even though Angelina had never understood it. He was a man of the people. It was why he thought he would be a good president.
He realized he’d been standing there staring at his open suitcase ever since Sarah’s call.
“You can’t be serious!” he’d cried when she’d told him she was going to marry Russell Murdock.
“Buck, I need to move on with my life. You have. Give me that same chance.”
Phone to his ear, he’d paced the room, too worked up to think of what to say, let alone what to do. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say best wishes.”
“When is the wedding?”
“Not right away.”
“Good. Promise me you won’t announce your engagement until I get back.”
“Buck—”
“You know I have these fund-raisers and debates coming up. I should have a break at the end of September. If marrying Russell is the right thing, then waiting a couple months isn’t asking too much, is it?”
“What would be the point?”
“I need time to get used to this. You’ve hit me with so much... Promise me you’ll wait. Also, I’d like these debates and press conferences to be about what needs to be done in this country—not about my personal life.”
“All right.”
He began to pack, each step weighted with the impact of Sarah’s news. Now that Bo was safe and things were taken care of at the foundation, it was time to get on the campaign trail. His constituents were clamoring for him at fund-raisers. He was scheduled for several debates along the way as he made a sweep through the Midwest this coming week.
He would be starting with the early caucus states. Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina. He needed that early lead if he hoped to lock in the party nomination by next summer.
Feeling light-headed, he sat down a moment on the bed and rubbed a hand over his face. Hadn’t he seen this coming? Only a fool couldn’t see how Russell Murdock felt about her. But Sarah... He shook his head and got to his feet again. He had to get packed. He had to keep putting one foot in front of the other. He was going to be the next president.
But there was no elation, no sense of adventure, no joy at the prospect. It felt more like a duty that had been handed down to him from his father. He couldn’t let anyone see how much pain he was in, especially Angelina.
He’d always traveled a lot, usually with her at his side. While they hadn’t discussed it, he knew she was planning to go with him. He thought of Sarah and quickly pushed the image of her away. His earliest dreams had been of Sarah standing next to him when he became president of the United States.
A news anchor’s voice droned from the television in the corner of the bedroom. “Our lead story this morning is the disappearance of journalist Chuck Barrow. Barrow, a correspondent for a news media organization, had been covering Senator Buckmaster Hamilton’s election. His SUV was found last night in a ravine at the edge of the Crazy Mountains in Montana, but there was no sign of the journalist. A bloody coat found in the car would indicate that he was injured and might have wandered off into the mountains in a confused state. Local search and rescue teams only recently found—”
He snapped off the TV at the sound of footsteps in the hallway. “Are you packed?” Angelina asked from the bedroom doorway.
“Just about.” He turned. “How about you?”
She smiled her campaign trail smile. “All packed. I thought we might go over some of the debate questions on the way to the airport.”
He nodded although he thought he had the issues down cold. Nor was public speaking a problem for him, especially when he was talking about something he felt so strongly about. For a while, he’d forgotten what was important. Doing what he could to help his country at this critical juncture—that was where he needed to turn his attention.
Thanks to Angelina, he had a good support system in place. With her brother, Lane, gone, she’d taken over, hiring the people who would make his campaign run like a well-oiled machine. That was her strong point—that and standing by her man.
“What was that on the news just then?” She frowned toward the television.
Buckmaster shook his head. “I wasn’t listening,” he said, realizing it was true. He’d been lost in his own thoughts.
She studied him for a moment. “We’re going to do this. We’ve come too far to let anything or anyone stop us,” she said as she moved to him. She kissed his cheek and stepped back to meet his gaze. “Everything we’ve been through, it’s all going to be worth it. You’ll go down in history as one of the great presidents.”
He tried to smile. “I hope you’re right,” he said, thinking of Sarah, his daughters and the choices he’d made to reach this point. The price had been high, but he suspected it would get higher before the election next year.
EPILOGUE
JACE FOUND HIMSELF almost sorry when it was time for the cast to come off his leg. He’d loved Bo’s visits. They’d gotten to know each other again, could joke or not have to talk at all. Some nights Brody would join them. Jace could tell that he liked Bo and approved.
“Well?” Emily demanded now as she drove him to the doctor to get the cast taken off.
“Well, what?” he asked even though he knew exactly what she was asking.
“You and Bo. Well?”
“Not sure what you want me to say, little sister.”
“You know darned well. I’ve seen the way you light up when she’s around, and I’ve never seen Bo this happy. She’s always smiling at work. I actually heard her singing to herself the other day as she was sending a fax.”
“That must have been terrifying. I’ve heard her sing.” He mugged a face.
“Bo sings nice,” Jodie said from her car seat behind him.
He laughed and smiled back at his niece. “I was just kidding. She has a beautiful voice.”
“Don’t blow th
is,” Emily said. “You have to...do something.”
He rubbed a hand over his jaw as he looked out at the mountains in the distance and remembered how close he’d come to losing Bo. The Crazies were beautiful this morning in the sun, the peaks still snowcapped, the sky above them a breathtaking cloudless blue. And yet he felt a chill at the memory of what she’d been through up there. He’d wanted to give her some time to get over the ordeal. He had also wanted to give her time to change her mind, he realized.
“I’ve been doing some thinking about it,” he admitted.
Emily pulled into the doctor’s office parking lot. “I couldn’t believe you never told her why you stood her up that night. I wish she could have seen you in your tux. I know the two of you would have a houseful of kids by now.”
“Now there is a frightening thought.”
Emily turned him. He saw the girl she’d been and the woman she’d become since having her daughter. “I’ve never thanked you or told you how sorry I am for all the grief I’ve put you through over the years, Jace.”
He looked at his sister and realized she really was growing up. He hugged her, thinking about the struggles they’d been through. Maybe it was time to look toward the future instead of back.
“How are things with Alex?” he asked as he reached for his crutches.
His sister beamed. “Good. Really good.”
* * *
“JACE, WHAT’S GOING ON?” Bo asked as Jace tied the blindfold into place and then took her hand and led her out the back door of his house. She’d come out to his house at his request. It had been weeks since he’d gotten his cast off, but they had made a tradition of pizza night and a movie at his house.
What she hadn’t expected was to find him waiting with a blindfold.
“I know we promised to look to the future and have no regrets about the past, but there is one thing I wish I could change in the past.”
“Okay, you’re scaring me.”
He laughed. “No, I’m not,” he said close to her ear. “I’ve seen your courage, remember? Nothing scares you.”