by Kaitlyn Hoyt
I ROLL OVER, STILL HALF-ASLEEP, but hear voices outside my door; I try to get as far away from them as I can. The image of Adam coming toward me keeps running through my head. My heart starts beating rapidly, like it wants to escape, and my breathing increases. I don’t want him anywhere near me. I start thrashing and squirming. Only when I fall to the ground with a thud, twisted amongst the blankets and covers, do I fully wake up.
My bedroom door slams open, and two sets of hands reach down to untangle me and help me up. Standing up, Liam and Colton both look at me with a worried countenance. I sway as the room starts spinning around me. Colors stream together, making it impossible to focus on my surroundings. I realize for the first time how long it has been since I’ve eaten anything. Colton reaches out, and grabs me before I fall. As if reading my mind, he asks, “Ryanne, what was the last thing you ate?”
“Umm…Claire’s pancakes.”
He turns me around so I am facing him. “Claire’s pancakes? The ones she made a week ago?”
I was gone for a week? I’m not sure if I am surprised because how long I was gone or because it feels like it was longer than that. “I guess.”
He hands me over to Liam, like I am nothing more than a ragdoll and says, “Help her. I’m going find her something to eat.” I watch his back as he leaves the room.
“I’m in desperate need of a shower. I’m sure I reek,” I tell Liam. He walks me over to the bathroom, grabs a towel, sets it on the counter, and turns the water on for me. He turns back to me, a lost look in his eyes.
I giggle at him. “Just knock on the door every now and then to check to make sure I haven’t passed out or anything.” Relieved, he nods, and gently closes the bathroom door behind him.
I undress and step into the shower, sitting directly under the showerhead. I don’t trust myself to stand up. The last thing I need is to slip and fall. The water warmed to perfection feels amazing against my skin. All the negativity starts to slip away the longer that I’m in here, and peacefulness overcomes me. I’m completely alone, but tranquil. I close my eyes and angle my head up, enjoying the feeling of the water cascading down me. I lather shampoo through my hair, smiling as the sweet-pea aroma wafts through the bathroom.
I hear a knock on the bathroom door, reminding me that I am not actually alone anymore. People who care about me and are worried surround me. I reach over and turn the water off, slightly depressed that I have to get out. I know the second that I leave this room, I will be pushed into a corner with pity, sympathy, and unwanted attention.
I grab the towel and wrap it around me. Wiping some of the steam off the mirror, I gasp as I see my reflection for the first time. My skin is paler than usual, and that’s a lot, considering I’m always paler than everyone else anyway. I knew that I had lost some weight, but I didn’t know it would be so noticeable. I brush my hands through my damp hair, trying to make it manageable. I know this is a lost cause, because my hair will curl no matter what I do to it. It has a mind of its own.
I peek my head out my door, and see Liam sitting on my bed, waiting.
“I need to get dressed. I forgot to grab any clothes.”
When he leaves the room, I run over to the dresser. Do I want to wear sweats, or do I want to look nice? Decisions. Decisions. Deciding to try and look nice, I grab a pair of white shorts, and a black top. I frown when I put the shirt on. It had once been tight, but now it hangs loose across my stomach.
I walk back to the door and open it, signaling for the two guys standing outside that they can come in. Colton is carrying a small tray of food: crackers, small pieces of fruit, and a cold bottle of water adorn the tray. Condensation is dripping down the sides. I stare at it, feeling my mouth water in the process.
Colton pats the area beside him on the bed. My eyes stare at the tray greedily. Liam laughs at me, and grabs my hand, dragging me along behind me. He puts his hands around my waist, and lifts me onto the bed. Sitting Indian style, I stare down at the food that Colton has placed in front of me. I’m hungry—my stomach is growling loudly in anticipation, but I can’t get myself to actually eat anything.
Colton says, “Ryanne, eat something. You need it. I can tell you’ve lost weight.”
I grab an apple slice and slowly nibble on it, trying to avoid their piercing gazes. “Please stop staring. I’m fine.”
“Logan told us what happened.”
I grab one of the crackers and bite in it, trying to keep my expression neutral. “Everything?” They both nod at me. “Oh.” They continue staring at me, as if expecting me to break at any second. “I don’t like feeling weak,” I admit.
Liam pats my arm. “Ryanne, you are anything but weak. You were tortured and refused to give any information away. That’s not weak.”
“I don’t think any one of us would have been as strong as you were,” says Colton.
I look between Colton and Liam. “So, what’s going on between you two?” I turn to Colton. “Yesterday, you attacked him when he brought me here, and today you guys are talking like you’re friends.”
“We realized that we have a common goal.” I wait for either of them to explain, but neither one does. Boys.
“I can’t eat any more. My stomach is starting to hurt.” I only ate half of the tray of food, but my stomach feels like I have eaten nothing but junk food for a week straight.
“At least you ate something,” says Colton, picking up the tray. “I’ll go take this back downstairs. I’ll be back in a minute.”
When Colton leaves the room, Liam turns to me. “How are you holding up? What happened this morning? Colton and I heard you cry out.”
I look out the window and notice the rain, steady and heavily falling. I slowly draw my gaze toward him. “I dreamt about him last night. Adam. I was fine with just being slapped around by Dravin and that stupid Thomas guy,” I say. “But Adam made it personal. He wasn’t looking for information. He wanted to actually cause me permanent damage.” Liam’s body tenses, his hands clenching. He stares off into space, seemingly lost in his thoughts for a moment.
Without looking at me, he says, “I’ll do what I can to make sure you don’t have any more nightmares about him. I can help.”
“How did you find me anyway?”
“Emma. She was having a nightmare, and I was sent to help her fight it. She was dreaming about what could be happening to you. I knew right then that that wasn’t a nightmare, but her actual fears being visualized. I was able to tell from what she was thinking where you might be. She helped save your life, Ryanne.”
I open my mouth to reply when I hear a knock at the door. Turning around, I see Emma standing there, with the same worried expression I’ve seen on everyone else’s faces.
“Sorry for interrupting. I just wanted to see how Ryanne was doing.”
Liam reaches out and pats my leg, silently telling me that he is going to leave. “You didn’t interrupt anything. I was just leaving. You two girls talk.”
Emma walks past Liam, and takes his place on my bed. “How are you doing?”
“I’m fine. Really, you don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be back to full strength in a couple days’ time.” I smile, hoping that she will stop reminding me about the situation. I just want to forget what happened, and move on. “Can we please not talk about it anymore?”
“Of course. I understand.”
“I’m sorry. I just don’t want people to worry about me for too long. I’m alive, and I’ll get better. I want, no need, to move on. I don’t want to dwell on what could have happened. It’s in the past and I can’t change it, but I can change the future, and that is what I want to focus on. You know?”
“Yeah, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.” I can tell that she doesn’t understand fully, but knows enough not to question me further. She remains silent for a minute, before turning back to me grinning mischievously.
“So…that’s another cute guy you’ve got pining for you.”
“Who are you talking abo
ut?”
“Psh, Liam. You should have seen them. All the guys were pacing outside of your door last night, making sure you were all right and everything. They were freaking out. It was kind of adorable. They care so much about you.”
Shaking my head, I reply, “Liam’s not ‘pining’ for me. I’m not even really sure if I know what that means. I’ve talked with him a couple times during dreams, or dream-ish things, but nothing is going on. Anyway, what about you and David?
Her eyes widen. So, I am on to something. “David…is...well he…I-I’m not the one he’s interested in.”
“And how do you know that?”
“Because he can’t keep his eyes off of you.”
“Emma, I’m the one who can read minds here. Granted, I don’t do it often, but I know for a fact that he isn’t interested in me like that. David is like an older brother to me, and he’s never treated me as anything but. He likes you.”
Getting up off of the bed, Emma starts walking toward the door. Motioning to me, she says, “Come on, Ryanne.”
“Where are we going?”
“To the entertainment room, to watch a movie with our friends. What else would we do in a time of war?” Laughing, she walks out of the room. I start to follow her; a movie sounds nice at this moment. “Oh, and you can’t tell David that I like him.”
“I won’t tell him.”
“Thanks. Oh, and I won’t tell Colton that you like him.” How does she know about that? My mouth falls open, my eyes widen, and I feel my face redden. When I finally come back into my senses, she is already walking into the room.
Running after her, I say loudly, “What the heck are you talking about?” How did she know about that? I was pretty sure I wasn’t that obvious.
Everyone in the room turns around and looks at me as I enter the room. Emma turns around and winks at me before sitting next to David.
“What are you two girls talking about?”
“Umm…” I rack my brain for anything to say, but draw a blank.
“We were talking about which actor was hotter, Chris Evans as Captain America or Chris Hemsworth as Thor. She doesn’t agree with me when I say that Evans is hotter,” she covers smoothly.
I quietly thank her and scoff, “I can’t believe you think that. Thor is way better. Hemsworth is a fine specimen of a man.”
“Ha, and Evans isn’t?”
“Girls, girls. There’s no need to fight over this. You are in the presence of someone better anyway,” David says. “Me.”
Emma and I share a glance before cracking up. It feels good to laugh. I’ve missed these guys.
I walk over to the chair that Tom usually sits in, aware of everyone watching me. “I’m fine, guys.” No one moves. “Really, I’m okay. What movie are we going to watch?”
“Well, since you are so interested in Thor, how about that?”
Everyone is waiting for my response. I know that they just want to make sure that I am doing fine. I don’t want them to feel obligated to do something that they wouldn’t have done before. “I know what you are doing. You don’t have to do all of this stuff for me. I’m fine. I mean it. Watch whatever movie you guys want to.”
David looks around at everyone else. “So, Thor it is?” They all nod. With a dramatic sigh, I snuggle into the chair, and get comfortable, while Colton gets up and puts the movie in.
An hour into the movie, my neck starts to get stiff. Sitting up, I look around and notice how engrossed everyone is in the film. Eyes wide at the screen, they look as if they have never seen this film before. I thought everyone had seen this.
“Liam, can I speak with you for a moment?” I don’t wait for a response. I get out the chair and walk into the hallway, hoping that he will follow. A couple seconds later, he appears.
“What’s going on?”
“What happened to Bragden, and who is he? I remember you saying his name in Dravin’s compound, but I never saw him.”
“Bragden is my older brother. He stayed to make sure that we got out okay. I’ve contacted him and he got away. Nothing happened to him, don’t worry.”
“You have a brother? Why did he stay behind? He could have come with us.”
“He had to make sure that no one followed us for a little while. He was giving us enough time to get away. We didn’t want you to get captured again. It would have been worse the second time.”
Goosebumps cover my arms thinking about it. “Where is he now?”
“Back home in Rockwood.”
“So he’s okay? Nothing happened to him?”
“Ryanne,” Liam grabs my shoulders, and forces me to look at him. “Nothing happened to Bragden. He’s back home. He escaped without any harm.” He is safe. Nothing happened to him because of me.
Liam starts to walk back into the room. “Wait,” I grab his wrist, and pull him back toward me. “Do you want to go back? I mean I don’t want you to, but I don’t want you to feel forced to stay here if you don’t want to. You have a family and they probably want you back with them…I just…”
“Ryanne, you’re rambling again.” I stop talking and look up at him. “I don’t want to go back. I know what the dreams are trying to tell me now. I’m meant to be here, protecting you.” He grabs my wrist, and starts pulling me back into the room.
“Actually, I think that I’m going to go talk to Claire and Tom really quick. I’ll be back in a minute.” Liam looks at me for a few moments before nodding and letting go of my arm. Turning around, I walk downstairs to find them. I don’t know what I want to say to them, but I don’t want to go back into the entertainment room for some reason. Something is dragging me down the stairs.
When I enter the kitchen, I find Tom sitting at the table reading the newspaper, and Claire dicing some fruit.
“Can I help you?” I ask. Claire smiles at me, and hands me a cutting board and small strips of pineapple to dice. I chop them in silence for a little bit. It’s refreshing. No one is watching to see if I am going to break down at any second or suddenly pass out. No one is expecting me to act a certain way or do a certain thing at that moment.
“Can I ask you something, Claire?”
“Sure, dear, what is it?”
“I’ve been thinking about this since I’ve been back here. While I was in that compound, I tried to open my mind and listen to what everyone was thinking, but I couldn’t. I kept trying, but nothing worked. There wasn’t a single thought. Is it possible for others to block their thoughts from me? I don’t know about the weather, since I couldn’t see out any windows, but I don’t think that power worked either.”
“They can’t block their thoughts from you specifically, but there is magic that can block you from reading their minds. It’s very complicated though. They have to have a very powerful mage, but if you were perfectly healthy, you probably would have been able to overcome the blocks. That’s probably why they didn’t feed you anything. They didn’t want you to regain your strength.
“As for the weather, I think it was the same thing. Magic. We thought that we would be able to find you based on the weather, but nothing happened out of the ordinary. We searched for three days before I got a feeling that we should stop looking. The boys,” Claire smiles and looks at me. “They didn’t like that. They argued with me for a whole day before they listened. They would have continued searching forever, probably, if I didn’t stop them. My intuition told me that you were going to be brought back to us soon.”
“Oh. I guess that makes sense. Do you think that there is any way to train me to use my powers more? I don’t really know what I am capable of yet.” If she doesn’t agree, I know that I will just practice on my own. However, Claire’s presence will make it easier. She knows more about this magical stuff than I do. I want to be able to protect those around me with my magic if I have to.
“Of course, I would love to.”
“Thank you, Claire.”
“There’s no need to thank me, darling. I want to help.” Smiling, I go back to
chopping up the pineapple. I wonder if Claire knows that pineapple is my favorite fruit. She probably does. I can’t help but eat a couple of the pieces before putting them into the larger fruit bowl. Hearing the sound of a chair scraping back, I turn around, and see Tom standing up.
“I can’t listen to this anymore. Claire and her classical music.” He flips through the radio stations until finding a song he likes: “Out of my Head” by Theory of Deadman. I smile gratefully toward him, and start bobbing to the music. Once the chorus comes along, I can’t contain it anymore. I put the knife down gently on the cutting board, and turn to face Tom. Jumping in front of him, I start singing and dancing enthusiastically. He laughs at me for a couple of seconds, before standing up and dancing with me. He twirls me around the room a couple of times, and dips me on the instrumental bridges. The dancing doesn’t go along with the song, but I don’t care. I’m having fun.
The song stops, and I jump up to give Tom a giant hug. “Thank you for the dance.” Hearing the sound of clapping behind me, I tense. Turning slowly, I see everyone standing in the doorway smiling widely at me. Even Claire has stopped what she was doing and is watching. Blushing, I ask, “How long have you guys been there?”
David laughs. “Long enough.”
“Oh gosh.” I cover my face. No one was supposed to see that.
“How come you never told us you could dance?” asks Emma. “I love dancing!”
“Don’t be embarrassed, Ryanne. It’s nice to see you smiling, and having a good time again,” Logan says. “You’ve got some moves, old man,” he tells Tom.
Ignoring the rest of their conversation, I go back over to the chopping board, and finish cutting up the pineapple that Claire had originally given me. I can feel everyone’s eyes on me the entire time.
“So, Claire, do you want to start now?”