by Kaitlyn Hoyt
DINNER WAS EXCELLENT—VEGETARIAN LASAGNA with a side salad and fruit. It was full of immature banter, laughter, and an attempted food fight between David and Logan. Claire wouldn’t allow that, and sent everyone upstairs while she cleaned. I attempted to help, but she shooed me away.
Sitting in the entertainment room, we just relax and enjoy each other’s company. No movies are playing. We just talk. Between conversations, we sit in a comfortable silence. I am getting a little tired, but it is only a little after eight at night, so it’s way too early to actually go to bed.
“Ok, first kiss. When and who. Go,” says Emma.
David speaks up first. “Mine was when I was fourteen to a girl named Marissa Gomez. She was our neighbor.”
“You kissed Marissa? She hated you,” says Colton.
“Yeah, afterwards. I kissed her on a bet. She didn’t like that apparently.” At least he has the decency to look guilty.
“None of you will know mine, but I kissed a guy named Darren Wilkins when I was sixteen. We dated for like a year, and then he cheated on me…so that was the end of that.” Emma looks down at her hands, and then back at Colton. “Who was your first kiss Colton?”
“Ha…umm, mine was Sarah Martin when I was fifteen.”
“Sarah? Are you serious? She’s a jerk now,” I say.
“Yep, it was a party. I was kind of forced to kiss her.” He smiles and looks at me. “So, Ryanne, it’s your turn to tell.”
“Well, umm…” I start to blush. Absentmindedly, I grab on to my flamed necklace, and start twirling it, avoiding everyone’s eyes. “I’ve…never been…properly kissed, I guess.”
“What?”
“Seriously?”
“I don’t believe it.” Everyone speaks at once; I can’t tell who said what.
Looking down at my hands, I explain, “I mean, I’ve been on dates and stuff, but nothing ever happened. I went out with Dan Peterson and John Parker a couple of times junior year…I was never that outgoing in high school. I mainly kept to myself. There was always someone better, so most guys weren’t interested in me. I was kind of the social outcast, and then my mom died, and no one wanted that kind of baggage. Also, there was the whole Adam thing. Technically, Adam kissed me, but I consider that more along the line of sexual harassment…”
My spiel makes me think about everything that was said earlier—everything that Liam said to me. I know that he was just doing what I asked him to, but it made me realize how true all of it was. I’m always going to be the weird girl, the one who’s way different than everyone else. I’m always going to be the brown slimy, bumpy toad in a world of beautiful green tree frogs.
“I’ll be right back, guys. I want to go get my notebook.” Getting up from the couch, the room begins to spin, and black spots cloud my vision.
Emma touches my arm. “Is something wrong?”
Blinking rapidly, my vision clears. “No. Just got up too quickly. I’ll be back.” Ignoring their worried looks, which have become a common placed countenance around me, I leave the room and walk down the hall to mine.
Halfway down the hallway, my ears start to ring. The hall begins to tilt, causing me to lose my balance. Leaning against the nearest wall, I feel the tug in my mind. I am losing all conscious awareness of my surroundings. Everything starts to blur together as my mind moves onto another place. I try to slowly walk the rest of the way down the hallway, but only make it two steps, before I lose my balance and slip into another vision.