by B. B. Hamel
I grin at her. “Well, okay. That’s not true. I’ve had relationships. It’s just… they tend not to last, or at least they haven’t.”
She makes a face. “Can’t say I’m shocked.”
“Why’s that?”
“You’re married to your job.”
I nod and go silent for a second. Fact is, she’s not wrong, but it’s more than that. I’ve been with some beautiful, amazing women in my days, but I’ve never met one that’s made me want to actually settle down. At least until her.
“I need to ask you something,” I say finally. “It’s for work.”
“I figured we’d be getting to this eventually,” she says softly, sitting up and leaning away.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I want to hear it.” She sounds so calm and composed.
“Look, it’s simple. I just need you to go to Karl and tell him I’ve been forcing you to do outlandish things.”
She raises an eyebrow. “Like what?”
“I don’t know. Like making you dress up in men’s clothing. Something totally unbelievable.”
She sighs. “Why would I do that? It feels like you’re trying to ruin yourself right now.”
“I’m not,” I say, shaking my head. “Trust me. I have a plan.”
“Okay,” she says simply. “I’ll do it.”
I nod and look away. I knew she’d say yes, I knew she’d do it. Without a single thought, she’s going to trust me and follow along.
I’m not sure she’s even thought it all the way through. If this goes bad, she’ll look awful. The whole company will probably find out these sordid details, or at least I’m sure Karl will make sure they do.
“There could be consequences,” I say to her.
“I know. I’ll still do it.” She reaches forward and touches my face. “I’ll do it for you, Daddy.”
I can’t help but smile at that. I take her hand and kiss it. “Let’s talk details then,” I say, and she leans back against me.
“Maybe later,” she says. “Right now let’s enjoy ourselves, okay?”
I can’t help but smile huge at that. “Okay,” I say. “Business later. Pleasure first.”
She grins at me. “Exactly.”
And so we go silent, watching people march past us, both of us knowing that we might be going forward into a horrible situation, but both of us willing to do it for the other.
24
Sofia
I have a rock in my stomach and I don’t know where it came from.
That’s not true. I know exactly where I got it. I’m nervous as hell, waiting for Karl to come into the office. My head is buzzing, swirling with Jacob’s plan and the potential blowback I might have to deal with. In the end, this could make me look as bad as him, if not even worse. I’m risking a lot for him.
And I have no issues with it. I’d risk a lot more, if I could. I knew what yesterday was about. I could see it written all over his face from the second he ambushed me outside of my apartment.
He feels guilty, but he shouldn’t. I know what I’m getting myself into. I know that I’m taking a risk, helping him like this, but I can’t help it. I keep seeing him as the man that used to be my teacher, but he’s so much more than that now. He’s a boss and a good person. All of his employees love him, and everyone else speaks highly of him at Quest. The only people that seem to have any issues with Jacob are those that have something to gain by opposing him.
Truth is, I don’t know what I have to gain from any of this, except maybe him. And maybe he’s the best thing of all.
But I do have a lot to lose. I could ruin my reputation, destroy my career. I could be torching my whole future, all because I knew this man so long ago and had such a powerful crush on him.
I’ve gotten to know him. I believe in him, more than just physically. It’s become something more, and I think yesterday proved that to me.
After the park, we went back to his apartment and we slept together twice. The first time, it was gentle and loving and incredible because of that. The second time it was dirty and dark and dangerous, the way I like it, and that’s the dichotomy of our relationship. We have both of those things, those intense feelings, but also the very taboo nature of things.
None of it matters anymore. The only thing I’m concentrating on is this next moment, and the moment after that, and hopefully we’ll get through this. Hopefully he’s right, and I have to believe in that.
I’d be doing this no matter what. All of the gifts yesterday, they were nice, but they weren’t necessary. I’d do this if he just asked. That’s all he had to do.
I spot Karl open his office door and slide into it. I take a deep breath and decide not to waste a single second. I march right over, knock, and enter without him answering.
He looks up from his desk, a frown on his face. “Surprised to see you here,” he says.
“Why?” I ask, shutting the door behind me.
“I thought you’d be with Jacob. Since apparently he can simply call you out of work whenever he wants.”
I nod and look at the carpet. “That’s what I want to talk about.”
I have to be careful. I can’t play this up too much or else he’ll see through me. Karl isn’t stupid, but I hope he’s as greedy as Jacob thinks he is. Otherwise, I think he might laugh in my face.
“Go ahead,” he says, looking bored.
“You know we’ve been doing… things,” I say to him, and the blush that jumps to my cheeks is real. “Inappropriate things for the workplace.”
He perks up at this. I know he has bugs in his own office recording everything I say right now. “You’re admitting that?”
“Yes,” I say before looking up to meet his gaze. “But it’s not what you think.”
“What do I think?” he asks softly.
“He’s been making me do things…” I trail off. “This is really difficult.”
Suddenly, his whole demeanor changes. “Sit down, Sofia,” he says softly. “If there’s something inappropriate going on, you can tell me. We can handle this together.”
I notice that he’s not offering to bring HR into this, which is really what he should be doing immediately. I sit down and fold my hands in my lap.
“What’s going on?” he asks me.
“He’s been making me… do things for him,” I say. “He says I have to do it or else he’ll fire me.”
“Like what?” he asks.
“Disgusting things. I don’t want to say.” I can’t meet his gaze, I feel so embarrassed and awkward, but I’m pushing forward.
“It’s okay, you’re safe here,” he says, and it makes me want to vomit. “What is he doing to you?”
“He makes me wear his clothes,” I blurt out. “He says I look good dressed as a boy. And he makes me steal office supplies so that we can use them.”
“Use them?” he asks.
“He’s sadistic,” I say, looking up and meeting Karl’s gaze. “I don’t know what to do. He’s making me put things inside of me while I sit around at work.”
For a second, I think he wavers. I think the absurdity of that is just too much, but the moment passes, and he nods. “I’m glad you came to me, Sofia,” he says. “I think I can help you.”
The rest of the meeting is a blur. It doesn’t really matter, though. He makes me promise that I’ll tell more people so that he can help me get rid of Jacob. Instead of filing reports to HR, he talks about getting revenge, and he says he can help me. He goes on and on about how he knew Jacob was a bad person and now we can destroy him together.
I feel sick, but not because Jacob actually did any of that stuff. Although maybe I’d like it if he did. That’s beside the point. I’m sick because Karl is so willing to use a woman who’s potentially being blackmailed and abused by her employer just to further his own career.
It’s disgusting, but Jacob was right. Karl can’t see beyond his own paranoid plans. He thinks he can do this himself, and he’s not going to go t
hrough the proper channels.
Which is going to be his downfall.
25
Jacob
I look down at the stack of paper in my hands and I take a deep breath.
“Well?” Clay asks me. “What do you think?”
“It’s good,” I admit. “It’s really good.”
He grins, clearly pleased. “We worked hard on it. All of us.”
“I’m worried it won’t be enough.”
That seems to take the wind out of his sails. “You said we had a chance,” he points out.
“I know,” I admit, looking away. “But the board already said they’re adopting Karl’s ideas. I’m not sure what we can do now.”
“Damnit, Jacob,” Clay says. “You’re just giving up?”
“Not at all,” I respond, looking back at him. “This proposal is good, really good. And I think it’ll help. But I’m not sure how much.”
“I gotta admit, I’m surprised,” Clay responds. “Never thought I’d see you so pessimistic.”
“First time for everything,” I grumble.
He stands up. “Read over it again. It’s good and if you sell it, I think they’ll buy it.”
I nod to him. “I promise I’ll try.”
“Good enough.” He walks to the door and hesitates. “If anyone can get out of this, it’s you.”
I can’t help but smile at that. “Thanks, Clay.”
“Sure. We’re rooting for you.” He leaves my office and the door shuts quietly behind him.
Maybe I was too hard on Clay. The proposal really is good. It’s just too late and it doesn’t fit into my plans, not exactly at least.
But then again, if this all works, the company is going to need a new direction. I flip through the pages again, musing to myself, though I’m only half paying attention.
I’m worried about Sofia. She’s supposed to be talking with Karl this morning, and I don’t know how it’s going. This moment is critical to what happens next, and Karl needs to believe her. I think he will. I think he’s too blinded by his own selfish needs to actually think about what she’s saying and doing.
But it’s a risk, like everything’s a risk, and I hate taking it.
I distract myself with the proposal again, going through the details. I have an amazing team and they did a fantastic job on this document. If they had given this to me a week or two ago, I think we might be in a totally different position right now.
But they didn’t and we are, so we’ll keep going forward. Still, it’s very thorough and I think it’s actually a beautiful new direction for this company. It’s a compromise between Karl’s aggressive bottom line and my belief in the customer. It takes the best parts of his plan and mixes them in with my own ideas, creating this new vision for the company that’ll be both profitable and good for the customer.
It’s a win all around, and I think I can convince the board. First though, they have to see the kind of man they’ve decided to follow. And I’m going to show them.
My intercom buzzing pulls me from my thoughts. “Sofia here to see you,” Minnie says.
“Send her in.” I stand up, my heart beating fast.
Sofia comes into my office, wearing a navy blouse and a pair of dark pants. Her heels are lower today, and her hair is piled up on top of her head.
And she doesn’t look happy. “How’d it go?” I ask her as she shuts the door.
She sighs and shakes her head. She stays closer to the door, arms crossed over her chest. “He bought it.”
I let out a breath. “That’s good,” I say, coming around the desk.
She shakes her head quickly. “No, it’s not.”
I stop and cock my head. I can see the stress on her face and in her posture. “What’s the matter?” I ask.
“Jacob, he’s going to come after you now,” she says. “I mean, he wants me to testify…”
I laugh, grinning huge. “That’s fantastic!”
“Jacob,” she snaps. “Why aren’t you taking this seriously? Do you have any idea what that was like?”
My smile fades and I take a step closer. “You’re right,” I say.
“I mean, I’ve never said anything like that to anyone, much less to my boss. He’s a stranger, and I had to tell him some personal stuff.”
“I can’t even imagine,” I admit.
“No, you can’t, because I had to do it.” She turns away from me and walks over to the full wall-length window. “He didn’t even give a shit about me.”
I come up slowly behind her. “I’m not surprised.”
“I mean, I basically told him that you’re abusing me, and you know what he talks about?” She turns to me, her eyes wide. “He talks about hurting you. Not about helping me, but about hurting you.”
“He’s scum,” I say softly, stopping near her.
“Which is exactly my point. He’s dangerous, and now he thinks he has the ammunition to put you down.”
“But he doesn’t.” I take a deep breath and cross the threshold, putting my hands on her arms gently.
I can feel the anger in her. I can be such an asshole sometimes, only thinking about what’s best for me. I didn’t even imagine how hard that conversation must have been, how incredibly awkward.
And to have someone that should have her best interests at heart basically blow her off and think about how to use her for his own gain…
I realize with a start that I might be doing the exact same thing. “Listen,” I say softly. “I don’t want to make you do this.”
“You’re not making me,” she says, meeting my gaze.
“I wasn’t thinking about how it would be for you. I wasn’t thinking at all… I’ve been a selfish prick. Sofia, if you want to back out, nothing will change between us.”
“I’m not backing out,” she says seriously.
“Listen though. I won’t hold it against you. I know I’m your boss, but—“
“Stop,” she says, stepping away. “Okay? Just stop. I’m not backing out. I’m a part of this now. I just want a little sympathy.”
I watch as she walks over to my desk and takes a breath, her eyes closed. I’m angry with myself, angry that I don’t know how to comfort her, angry that I put her in this position. I’m not going to let her down like Karl did, though. I’m not going to let her do this and not get something out of it.
When we’re through and Karl’s gone, he’s going to need a replacement. And I’m going to use all my favors to make sure she gets the job. It’s going to look bad, but after the scandal around Karl, I doubt anyone is going to question it too much.
“This is all going to mean something,” I say to her finally. “I promise, what you did matters. It’s going to work.”
“I’m just frustrated,” she says. “That conversation was awful. I mean, it worked the way you said it would. He completely bought it, but that didn’t feel very good.”
She shakes her head again and walks over to the door. I watch as she pauses and looks back at me. “I hope you know what you’re doing,” she says.
“Me too,” I admit.
She gives me another look before leaving my office, shutting the door behind her.
I’m left alone, standing at the window. I put my hands behind my head and take a deep breath.
I’ve never seen her like that before. She was so angry and upset, and I did a shit job trying to comfort her. I’m really out of practice with this stuff. I want to be better at taking care of her, but all this shit keeps getting in the way. It’s like one second I want to hold her and tell her how I feel, and the next I’m obsessing about Karl and my company.
I can’t let this distract me from what matters, and the more I’m with her, the more I know that Sofia matters. I’ve never felt anything like this before, and I can’t risk letting it go.
We’ve come so far together. There’s not much more to do. I just need to follow through and win, or else I’ve ruined myself.
Worse, I might ruin her.
26
Sofia
Karl gives me this awful, pitying smile, though there’s a hunger behind his expression. I smile back and keep my head down as I walk back to my desk.
It’s been a few days since I told him about Jacob and me, though nothing’s happened. Jacob keeps telling me to wait, but I’m so sick of waiting. Now he’s on some business trip, left yesterday morning, and I’m all alone.
Sitting at my computer, I’ve never felt so alone in my life. It’s irrational, because I do have people on my side: Jacob and Darlene, for starters, though Darlene doesn’t know much about what’s going on. Still, Darlene is my friend and I trust that she’s at least on my side.
I can feel Karl plotting something in his office. People keep coming in and out, people I don’t really recognize. I think some of them are board members, white-haired and wearing expensive suits, but I have no clue. Some of them glance in my direction as they leave, but I can’t tell if that’s just my imagination or not.
Karl hasn’t said a word about what I told him, and I have no clue what he’s doing about it. Jacob seems to think it’s okay, but I’m worried. I’m afraid that if I’m pressed at the wrong time, everything I told Karl will unravel, and he’ll know I’m a liar. That would ruin what Jacob’s trying to do.
“Hope you’re having a good trip,” I text him.
To my surprise, he responds right away. “Utah is boring. Coming back ASAP.”
“Good,” I type. “Thinking about you.”
“I bet you are.” He sends me a winking emoji and I smile to myself. Jacob doesn’t strike me as the emoji kind of guy.
Work crawls along. My load is actually pretty light, and most of what I have to do is simple. I suspect Karl is going easy on me and only sending me the best tasks, but I can’t be sure, and I’m definitely not about to ask him. When lunch comes, Darlene and I sit outside in the sunshine, watching the people in their suits walk past.
“Isn’t it strange,” she says to me. “Just a floor or two up or down and we’d be in a totally different company doing a totally different thing.”