I sat up on my elbows. “Six? I don’t think I have it in me to do six.”
“Is that a challenge, Nikki?”
“Might be.”
He slipped down my body. “Count them,” he whispered against my apex.
From oral alone, he made me have seven.
Her headstone was finally placed, sandwiched between my father’s headstone and my maternal grandmother’s. A simple granite stone read: Nicole Liari Givens. Wife. Mother. She didn’t want her birthdate placed on her headstone, so it wasn’t.
I glanced over at my father’s headstone and back to hers. “Seems so stupid to talk to you like this.” I closed my coat around me to shield myself against the frigid late-October breeze. “Not like you can hear me. Feel stupid doing this, but I just want you to know, I know you’re the reason he’s in my life. Still working on the how and why. I’m waiting for the bad part to come, because it always does. For now….getting out of bed isn’t as bad as it used to be and….I really miss you. I hate that I can’t talk to you. I remember a time when we never did.
“I wish I’d never left you seven years ago, because those last—almost seven—months we had together meant so much to me. I wish you could’ve been the mother you were then when I was growing up. It makes me wonder how different I would be if you were. Makes me wonder if I would’ve done what I did that day. Or if…I—” I sucked in a deep breath to prevent a sob from escaping.
I contemplated less depressing thoughts. “It’s my kind of simple, and I like it that way. It’s what I need, but you probably already knew that. The less drama the better. I learned that with Trent. I think he gets it. Even though I can tell his life is a little bit of a mess, he tries to keep me away from that part of him. Still, I need to know if it’s okay to feel this way—whatever I’m feeling—if I’m feeling anything at all. I can’t help but wonder if you put him in my life just to serve as a short-term fix.”
“She wouldn’t do that to you.”
I startled and looked up. “Angie,” I said coldly. “You’re still here?”
She grabbed my hands as her eyes lightly teared up. “Gowan had to travel for a time. Thought I’d come see about you. How are you?“
“If you want a less depressing answer, ask me when I let myself feel the hurt. I think the medication does it for me—it numbs me.”
“From what I hear, seems you have a man in your life. Is this…new?”
“To me…yes.”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“In that…I think he and my mother knew each other long before he and I actually met.”
“How interesting,” she said woodenly.
Angie never knew that I had full knowledge of her affair with my father. At the moment, she wasn’t restoring a single ounce of the faith I lost in her. Strange, she never once asked what my mother died of. It was very convenient of her to show up now. “How long are you planning to stick around?”
“Gowan and I haven’t decided. Probably won’t decide until he comes back from his travels. Are you going to invite me over? I’d like to feel out the man my niece is dating. Is it the young man who was with you at the funeral?”
“It is.”
“Well, if you haven’t gone to the lawyers’ yet, I’ll gladly go with you.”
“Eric…went with me.”
She raised both eyebrows in surprise. “You had a little twinkle in your eye when you said his name.” She looked at the tombstone, no longer holding the hurt she was wrought with a few moments ago. “Did…she leave you with everything?” she asked carefully.
“She did.”
“Good.” She gave me a bright smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Still have a spare five-bedrooms?”
I cocked my head at her, scrutinizing her through my narrowing eyes. The games people play. “Eric is staying with me, and I thought you were staying at a hotel with your husband.”
She crossed her arms and looked down her nose at me. “Eric is staying with you?” She looked at the tombstone, falling silent for a moment. “I thought we could get reacquainted. Honestly, Nikki, it’s such a big house. I’m sure you could spare room for one more person.” She gave me an overly bright smile. “Warn Eric that the onslaught is coming. He better be the perfect man for you, or he’ll be embarrassed.”
I watched Angie as she worked in the kitchen, making both of us a lunch of peanut jerk stew something or other. She was adamant in her notion that I would love it. Watching her work the kitchen, I remembered when she used to watch me. The term ‘watch’ a very loose term for making a few peanut butter sandwiches and making me stay in my room for the rest of the day.
“Where have you been?” I asked as I sat at the breakfast bar. “When did you get married?”
“I’ve been so many places I’ve lost track. I settled in the Horn for a time with my husband Gowan. It was a civil ceremony. It was so quick, I didn’t have time to tell anyone. Met him maybe five months ago, and we fell in love. He’s a doctor. I…told your mother to tell you.”
“You knew she was sick? Why didn’t you come any sooner?”
“Nikki,” she chided me. “Things between your mom and I were complicated. I was surprised she spoke to me at all. I thought she would make good on her promise to never speak to me again until her dying breath after the accusations I made at your father’s funeral. I didn’t want to rock the boat by coming back to a place where I may not have been wanted.”
“It was strained before my father died. Now that she’s gone, can you tell me what it was about?”
She joined me at the breakfast bar. “Some secrets should stay in the grave.”
My phone rang with a call from a blocked number. “Tamala, grow the hell up,” I answered and slammed my phone down on the counter. A feeling crept over me that I tried to keep down. I wanted to run. I wanted to faint. I felt like an elephant sat on my chest. It wasn’t right. I hadn’t had an attack in years—not since I started taking my meds years ago.
Angie took my hand and squeezed. “Are your boyfriend’s romantic ghosts haunting you?”
“I guess,” I responded as I found my steady breaths. Her question served to bring me back from the ledge. “I think one of his friends wants to befriend me.”
“The best way to get to know the person you’re with, is through the brush his friends paint him with.”
I nodded. “He was raised by his uncle and has a roommate—maybe adoptive sister that needs to be admitted to the psych ward. I know he’s…different.”
“Said no one else before who was ever in a doomed love.”
“I thought you were the love optimist. Isn’t that why you abandoned me dozens of times to get your head pounded against the wall by the love of the moment, when you were supposed to be watching me?”
She choked and cleared her throat. “I had no idea you heard that.”
“I was young, not deaf.”
“Well, I was young and stupid. I hope we can repair our relationship. With your mother gone, there’s nothing standing in our way. I’m just not sure about this new man in your life. You seem smitten a little too soon. You have to approach these things with wide eyes—especially in your fragile state.” She slid off the stool to check on her stew. “What does he do for you?”
“I can’t share that with you,” I responded coldly. “I’m scared you’re going to fuck him behind my back.”
She whirled around in her position with her eyes wide. “Nikki!”
“I’m not worried about him,” I responded evenly. “I don’t think he would. He makes me feel…protected.”
Angie fell silent and returned to the stove. She couldn’t refute that, because, along with my parents, she contributed to my loneliness and vulnerability. With my mother, I understood that it was never intentional. She worked a lot. She realized her mistake and made up for it. She had an excuse. I couldn’t excuse Angie, or my father. My father was a wildly successful hustler, who went on vacation without my mother and me quite a bi
t.
“The stew is going to need a few hours to simmer.” She turned down the level of the gas on the range. “Why don’t we take that dog of yours for a walk in the park?”
As we started down the sidewalk, we spotted a few of my neighbors huddled in front of the drive that led to Eric’s house.
“Diouana.” Mrs. Hobbins came from across the street, while pointing a finger at me. “You’ve seen what’s been going on there. I’m sure of it. There isn’t a well-mannered man living there. The good-looks fooled me. But I know much better now.” She wagged her finger in the air and grabbed a clipboard from another neighbor. “Sign the petition to get them out.” She thrust the clipboard at me.
I pushed it back to her. “Can you do that?”
“As the president of the HOA, who’s seen numerous violations occur inside and outside that house, I can. Drug dealers and prostitutes have taken over our neighborhood. We won’t stand for it. I’ve had to call the police on that prostitute more than once.”
“So women in toxic relationships are prostitutes, and doctors are drug dealers?” I questioned her. “I guess the latter makes sense. I like the term drug-pusher better.”
“No!” She looked me up and down with a sour expression. “I see the men she has at all times of the night. A different man every night, and they always leave before morning. It’s disgusting. She’s a woman of ill-repute. And if that man is any sort of doctor, I’m the POTUS. As prominent as the hospital he claims to work for is, there’s no way they would hire a con artist. He’s loitering there.” Mrs. Hobbins succeeded in exacerbating my preexisting headache. After turning her kids away, she was now spinning her grand fantasies with me at the core of it all.
“Where are you getting this crazy information?” I asked her.
“Google it.” She tapped at the clipboard.
I shook my head. “Find someone else to support your witch hunt.”
“I’m disappointed in you, Diouana. I thought you were a smart girl with morals. Seems you’ve spread your knees to this man and forgotten about loyalty. You’ll see. You’ll see, young lady.” She shook her finger at me and joined her friends on the side of the road.
Unsure of what to do, I stood there as I felt…claustrophobic.
“Is he supposed to be at work right now?” Angie asked.
I nodded through panting breaths.
She took Maisha’s leash and nodded to me. “Go find out if it’s true.”
I waved my hand at her, trying to collect myself.
“Nikki, are you all right?”
Maisha nudged my hand. When I didn’t respond, she jumped up on her hind legs, pushed my chest with her front paws and tried to lick my face. The act made me giggle, it also brought me out of my pending attack. I reached down and ruffled her ears as I came back into my own. “Remind me to give you the biggest, juiciest steak at dinner time for being the smartest dog alive.”
While panting, she sat at my feet.
“Nikki?” Angie urged impatiently.
I finally gave her my full attention. “This is Mrs. Hobbins we’re talking about,” I riposted. “She can’t be believed. She probably made this whole thing up because her soap operas have drawn stale stories.”
“I beg your pardon!” Mrs. Hobbins screamed from across the street. I could swear that woman had dog’s ears. “Go see him at the hospital and find out the truth. I know a board member there. He doesn’t work there. Go see. Go find out. See how correct my facts are.”
I moved to continue my walk with Angie.
Angie grabbed my arm. “Go see about this, Nikki. He’s living in your house, and whatever he’s involved in may hit your front doorstep when you least expect it.”
Because she had a point, and I wanted to shut down any pending drama before it occurred, I went to the hospital.
“Nikki...what are you…?” Janet approached me from the nurses’ station. “Oh.” She covered her mouth and considered me with frailty. “I knew this would happen. Do you need to talk over a cup? I can take a break.”
“Where’s Eric?” I asked patiently. Although I knew Mrs. Hobbins’s ravings were unfounded, I had to be sure that she was still crazy.
“He’s uh…not here right now.”
Suddenly, the inquisition didn’t seem inane. Janet’s response carried too many nuances. She wouldn’t look me in the eye and couldn’t stop fidgeting. I wondered why she felt the need to lie to me. I started to feel panicked and uneasy. My hands and feet tingled with an uncomfortable burn. “You hesitated and your eye twitched,” I forced out.
“It did not,” she remarked while blinking rapidly.
I moved past her and approached a nurse at the station. “When will Dr. Brenton be in?”
Her blue eyes whirled at me from behind her reflective lenses. “You mean Dr. Grant? I don’t know of a Dr. Brenton, not on this wing.”
“Of course you do, Susie.’’ Janet took her fellow nurse aside and nudged her. “Remember? He filled in for Dr. Grant a while back.” Dumbfounded, Susie regarded Janet.
I picked up my phone. Janet stepped forward and attempted to stop me. “Let’s go in the visitors’ room, where I can explain.”
It took too many rings before Eric answered his cell. “Not that I’m not glad to hear from you,” he greeted me in a sexually charged whisper. “But I’m in the middle of something.”
“Where?” I asked innocently.
“At the hospital.”
“Oh good, because I’m here.” I flourished my hand and realized it wouldn’t stop shaking. “I can wait until you’re done. We can grab lunch somewhere other than the cafeteria. Because that’s what I do, wait for you.” My tone was uncontrollably frenetic. My body temperature fell into a confused state of too cold and too hot.
“I really would love to…but...I have to go. I’ll make you something special tonight.” He hung up on me.
I glared at Janet. My mind raced out of control: He’s not really a doctor, Nikki. He’s a con man, just like your father was. He’s after your mother’s money. Eric probably isn’t even his real name. You’re so stupid, Nikki. What makes you think a man like that would want a fucked up woman like you?
I grabbed my head, shaking it profusely, hoping to make the thoughts to stop. “STOP IT!”
Janet looked around. “I didn’t…say anything, Nikki.”
“Not you,” I said hoarsely.
“Oh.” She began to look at me with pity and concern. “You could’ve just asked me…instead of calling him.”
“So you could lie to me?” I asked shrilly. “Who is he really?”
“You know him….Eric. Eric Brenton.”
“But not Dr. Brenton. So you helped him come in here and impersonate a doctor? Do you get a cut when he kills me?”
“Nikki… No! What are you talking about?” she hissed as her eyes darted around in paranoia. She tried to shuffle me into the visitors’ room, but I would only budge but so far. “Dr. Brenton is Dr. Brenton. So what if he’s not a doctor on this wing. He’s a doctor in this hospital.”
“Janet!” I screamed.
“Would it make any difference if I said all of this was your mother’s doing? You really have no reason to be upset. She handpicked him for you.”
“What...does that even mean? What the fuck does that even mean?”
“I’ve said too much.”
“You haven’t said enough.”
She fiddled with her fingers and looked at the ceiling. “I wish you’d calm down. Can you just take a walk with me? We can look at the tranquility fountain.” She mumbled quietly, “Maybe see about getting a refill for a few of your prescriptions at the pharmacist.”
“JANET!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.
“Miss.” A nurse approached me. “Unless you’re here to see a patient, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
I didn’t know what drew me to the lobby of the ten-story Harvest Investments Building downtown. The security guard, who’d recognized me, kept p
antomiming at me to go into the elevators to do whatever I had to do. My self-depreciating thoughts were out of control.
Maybe I was wrong. He didn’t want to kill me. He wanted to take over my mother’s company. Maybe she had a deal with him to—
I took a breath, trying to calm myself down. But I felt like my brain was shifting the gears while my body was strapped to the passenger seat—I was left unable to say when and where we’d go.
After a few minutes, I finally moved to the elevator lobby.
I went to my mother’s office, having no other predetermined destination.
My mother’s long-term secretary, Mrs. Pratt, slowly stood as she took off her reading glasses. “Mr. Rice is in the middle of a client meeting. I’m sorry, Diouana. You’ll have to wait.”
“It’s my mother’s office. Why is someone else in my mother’s office? She was just put in the ground last month. That’s not right. It’s too soon.”
“The company had to move on. I’m sure you can understand—”
I pushed past her. I felt slightly guilty when I saw her falter behind me. Being that she was elderly, she was far from spry.
I opened the door. My mother’s partner was in the middle of a business meeting with…Eric. I was fully submersed in a sinkhole with no chance of escape. “I knew it! I knew it.” I charged after him as he stood, looking at me with a face full of bewilderment. “I knew you were with me for some other purpose. Why would you do this? I don’t need this. I think you should move out. Go away. Maybe travel to a completely different continent far from me, because you’re the worst sort of evil. I should’ve known better. You’re a con man dressed up as a gorgeous, empathetic doctor. You don't have a heart. All you know is greed. This is why I hate dealing with people. They’re so selfish. If you don’t leave me alone, I’ll call the authorities and tell them—”
Standing before me now, Eric gripped me strongly, placing his palm over my mouth with his eyes full of fire. I struggled in his hold and fought, biting his hand and stomping on his foot. When I tried to knee him in the groin, he grabbed my leg and spun me so quickly, I nearly fell. Clutching my hands, he yanked them behind my back. Shoving me, he bent me over the desk and pressed his body against me so I couldn’t move. “If you don’t stop, I’m going to hurt you,” he bellowed.
The Sordid Promise Page 12