The Sordid Promise

by Courtney Lane

  “Don’t ever do that to me again. This body is mine.” He grabbed my waist and pulled in until our lower halves met. “Whenever and however I want it.”

  “I know, Eric,” I whispered. “It was a rough day.”

  He leaned into my ear. “You’re forgiven.” He bit the lobe of my ear just enough to hurt and released me. Taking a seat at the breakfast bar, he rubbed his weary eyes. “She’ll leave, but she’ll be back,” he remarked coolly. “I’m not sure if you’re aware of all of the things she did to your mother. If you knew, you never would’ve let her step foot inside this house.”

  “Was it worse than sleeping with my dad?” I asked.

  “Much worse,” he responded without flinching.

  “Are you going to tell me what those things are?”

  He studied my face as thoroughly as I searched his. Leaning across the counter, he reached his arms out and extended his open palm to me. Without hesitation, I slid my hand in his. He clutched it and brought it to his lips to kiss the back of my hand. The minor act served to further a gentle seduction that chipped at my icy front. “Besides the greedy whore who’s upstairs right now, is everything all right?”

  I didn’t know how to answer him, so I said nothing at all. Deep down, I wanted to ask why he was with me. Was he with me as some sort of sick game to break my heart? I had a million questions to ask about the mounting list of things I couldn’t understand.

  He stood strong while still holding my hand. He pulled me from around the counter and held me in his arms, further softening my apprehension. “Come upstairs with me.”

  “No. I don’t—I can’t.”

  His shoulders broadened as he thumbed my chin, contemplating me. “Nikki,” he warned.

  “I’m not…breaking what I promised again. I just—“

  “Tamala again?”

  “It’s the stupid HOA president. It’s Janet. It’s Melonie. It’s Tamala. It’s Estelle. It’s the secrets. It’s the lies, if they are lies. Just a random grab bag of all the things I don’t need right now. Things I didn’t want. Things I don’t know how to deal with. Things I’m scared if I find out are bad things, I’ll go to a place I don’t want to go.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You’re not really a doctor, are you?”

  He dropped his head so low, his hair tickled my chin. “Why are we back at this doubting me bullshit? Considering you’ve seen me at the hospital, that’s a redundant question.”

  “I’ve seen you once…and no one else seems to know who you are. Mrs. Hobbins from across the street said you weren’t licensed. I don’t know why I’m counting a bored, meddlesome divorcée as a reliable source. I’m just—”

  He abruptly lifted his head, considering me with a piercing gaze. “Scared?”

  “Eric, I—“

  “You know who I am.” His unfaltering tone sliced through my questions and doubts.

  “Consider me doing you a favor, before you have to bow out gracefully a few months from now. I know that’s what you do—get bored quickly and move on. You pick the littlest thing that irritates you, and harp on it until the person you’re with thinks there’s something wrong with them—make them think that they aren’t good enough for you. I’ve seen it happen in a movie once. It made sense enough to happen in real life. For men, pride makes them walk away. But women…we always want to fight for it. We have to fight about everything.”

  “Nikki?” He drew me closer and clasped my head. “Have you been sleeping well?”

  I snatched my arm back and rubbed my head. “Why did my mother recruit you to be with me?”

  He slipped his hands up the sides of my neck to rest just under my jawline. “Nikki?” Thrusting his thumbs up against the contour of my jaw, he directed my chin up. “I love you.”

  I gasped, as my body went metaphysical. “That’s impossible,” I quavered.

  “Look at me,” he drawled.

  “No,” I sobbed as my body began to quake. “Stop. Don’t do this to me. I’ve been through enough. Don't promote yourself as a good investment when you’re just going to take it all away.”

  He held me tighter, trapping me in his smoldering gaze. “I. Love. You.”

  “You think you do,” I sniveled. “Maybe you don’t.”

  He bit his lip, taking a step back and placed his hands behind his head. He broke our eye contact for a moment, then met it again. “Come with me.”

  “No.”

  “Either you can walk, or I’ll carry you, but you will come with me.” He extended his hand to me.

  I caught it roughly and allowed him to lead me out of the house.

  It was the first time I’d been in Eric’s bedroom. There were a few unpacked boxes neatly stacked in the corner of the room. The black sleigh bed took up half the master suite. It was remarkably spotless. Not a wrinkle in the duvet cover or a speck of dust to be found.

  I fingered the black silk duvet as I watched Eric dig into one of the boxes. He pulled out a few things, tossing them on the bed. Both were framed. A diploma for Doctor of Medicine and a State Board issued license to practice medicine. All to him. All embossed and official.

  “It’s why I’m here. Received a fellowship here. But I have to come clean with you. While I never really said it, I didn’t stop you from thinking it. I’m not an oncologist. I’m an E.R. doctor.”

  I sat on the edge of the bed. “Then, how did you know my mother? She’s not that sociable to know every doctor in every department.”

  His eyes shifted as he sat on the bed. “I never lied to you.” He picked up my legs, allowing my feet to rest on his lap. He took off my shoes and massaged my soles. “Can we move on?” Although posed as a question, it was definitely a demand.

  He manipulated a pressure point in my foot that made me sway. “H-how did you k-know my mother?”

  “What does any of it matter when your mother got what she wanted most, and you are getting what you want most.”

  “Am I?”

  “Whatever you need from me, just ask.”

  “No. This whole thing is about what you want.”

  He swung his legs forward, forcing me to open my legs. Pulling me partially astride his lap, he delicately ran his fingertips along the inside of my thighs. “What are you telling me? That you don’t want me, too? That you’re not getting anything out of this?”

  “I just said—”

  He popped open the button on my jeans and abruptly yanked them down. “You were saying?”

  “I—“

  He licked his fingertips and slipped them underneath my panties. My eyelids drew heavy as his fingers delved deeper, massaging my slit. He drew his fingers up to gently circle my soft nub. “Yes?”

  I pressed my lips together to keep from moaning.

  “Were you saying anything?” He pressed his palm against the small of my back, pulling me near. Gently, he brushed his lips against my mouth, erecting a pleasurable burn.

  “That’s a dirty trick,” I soughed as my body began to quake under the skill of his touch.

  “Is it?” His eyes darkened as he slid my panties partially down my legs. “You haven’t seen how dirty I can be—how dirty I really am.” He leaned in my ear and bit it. “The things I’m holding back from doing to you…would break you, Nik.”

  “Ugh.” I fell back on my elbows with my neck craned.

  “Come on my fingers,” he drawled through a sensuous whisper. His fingers thrashed inside my increasingly wet sex as his thumb vibrated against my clit. My body shook as the shocking rush hit me hard. “That’s it, come for me,” he goaded me.

  I tossed my head to the side, biting the sheets as the pleasure pushed me into a tense, unmovable state. It hit its peak, making me tremble uncontrollably. He slowly moved from me, watching me quiver on the bed. I slowly smiled and bit my fingertips. The look he cast my way, made my heart palpitate.

  He grabbed my legs as if they were weightless and pulled me down to the edge of my bed. Tucking his fin
gers underneath my bottoms, he roughly removed them from my body. He slipped his T-shirt off his body—the muscles in his arms and shoulders seemed to flex in his posture. He pulled my legs up in the air, spreading them widely. Gazing at me with a mischievous glint in his eyes, he kissed his way down my thighs. When he placed a kiss on my sensitive nub, I immediately wiggled. He wrapped his arms around my thighs, bringing me back down.

  “Please…don’t,” I quietly begged. “I'm going to scream.”

  “Then guess what, Nik? I’m going to make you fucking scream.” He placed his mouth on me, devouring my swollen lips like they were an exotic, expensive meal. His lips latched around my clit as his tongue moved in defined circles around the perfect pleasure point.

  My legs shook violently around his head as the fire ripped me apart. Quickly, the rush hit me so hard, my vision became speckled with black spots. He stood strong, licking his lips as his eyes drew heavy, contemplating my half-naked body.

  Deftly, he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. His heavy erection popped freely out of his boxer briefs. He spread my legs wider and wrapped one of his arms around my body, pulling me closer to him. His tongue charged at my lips. When they parted, he pushed his tongue inside, allowing me to experience the second hand taste of my sex.

  He teased me as he slowly rocked the head of his erection against my moist slit. He narrowed his eyes and gently inched inside me. As I gave way, he plunged the full length of his excitement inside me. He teased me, slowly withdrawing and entering. Still in the aftershocks of my orgasm, the fullness and friction shocked my nervous system.

  He grabbed my neck in both of his hands, holding me firmly, with a near painful strength. His pace picked up as he rode me hard and fast. The methodic friction set my body into a continuous cycle convulsions.

  “Let me hear that filthy mouth, baby.”

  “I…I…fuck.”

  “Got you fucking tongue-tied, huh? Is it that good to you?” He slowly smiled as he grabbed my hips and pulled them up until the girth of his erection hit an elusive zone. I grabbed the sheets, squeezing fistfuls inside my mouth to keep my screams as quiet as I could. It was near impossible. Eric felt ethereal.

  A creeping ecstasy took over my body, bringing about a different kind of orgasm than I was used to. Eric exploited the sensation, falling in tune with my body’s responses. He rocked me so hard, his testicles pounded against the flesh of my behind.

  He crouched forward, wrapping his hands around my neck.

  “Eric,” I cried.

  He strengthened his hold on my neck, nearly suppressing my airway. “Cream on my cock, baby.” He leaned forward sucking my lip and sinking his teeth into the bottom.

  I whimpered hoarsely with my eyes glued shut. My back arched as my body melded with the bed. I felt it sing in every part of me as it emulated from my sex. The moisture at my apex become thicker, surrounding his cock as it stroked inside me with a punishing pace.

  My mind drew fuzzy. I felt the spine tingling ice, then the feverish burn. I chanted his name, almost cried his name as the intensity kicked up, forcing my canal to contract around him.

  He grabbed my thighs and tossed me around until I was stomach down on the bed. Entering from behind, he rocked me with an animistic intensity as his grip burned into my hips. He grabbed a hold of my hair, pulling my head so he could hear every single aroused whimper and plea.

  He called my name in sexually charged utterance. Thrashing rigidly inside me, he leaned forward, placing a biting kiss on my spine. Still burning for him, I clutched the sheets and relented to my rolling peak. “Awe, fuck, Nikki. You’re gonna make me—” His position sputtered as he rocked me in slow long strokes. My wet stickiness melded with the warmth of his.

  I felt like putty as I slipped deeper into the bed, too spent to remember what I was concerned about in the first place.

  The sound of a door slamming downstairs startled me awake. I looked back at Eric, who peacefully slept next to me. I fingered the stickiness between my thighs as I spread my legs with a smirk. I leaned forward and gently kissed his lips. He stirred slightly before falling still. I slipped out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

  From the top of the stairs, I could hear glass shatter. I continued my descent down the stairs and moved into the kitchen.

  Estelle was in the midst of raiding the liquor cabinets. She poured a plethora of hard liquor mixed with wine into a large pitcher. Noticing me, she snarled at me and curled her still healing busted lip. “You have just got fucked hair.”

  I shrugged as I observed her running mascara and bruised forearms.

  “Why are you here? I thought you two were shacking up over there.” She pointed in the general direction of my mother’s home.

  “He had to show me something.”

  “I bet he did. Probably showed you that huge, beautiful dick of his. It fucks you right, doesn’t it? Haven’t seen it in a long time.” She paused, appearing to be stuck in a moment. She stood strong and continued to glare at me. “Look, I’m not in the mood for a girlfriend chat, so either you can go back to his bed, or leave.”

  So, there it is. She and Eric were more than just roommates at some point. I hated the mere thought of Estelle ever having any semblance of what Eric gave to me. My mouth turned slightly dry. The rush of heat at the back of my neck made me bristle. I was…jealous. “What’s with the women in his life being such outright bitches to me?”

  “Are you including yourself in that circle of bitches?”

  “I could be,” I deadpanned.

  She stood strong with her eyes sharp. “Don’t even think about it. You’re a fucking nothing where he and I are concerned.”

  “You say that like I should be scared of you. You, who goes back to the man who abuses you.”

  “You don’t know shit!” She marched forward and thrust her pitcher in my direction, spilling some of the contents on my bare feet.

  “My eyes don’t lie.”

  She guffawed, “The joke on the world? Sometimes they do.”

  “Why do you hate Eric so much?”

  She glared at me. “Are you really so fucking clueless? He doesn’t usually screw around with idiots. The smart ones are more fun to manipulate. What gives with you?” She regarded me from head to toe. “You’re not that pretty.”

  I stared at her, unmoved. “Failing to intimidate me again.”

  Her eyes whirled around. “Who are you? Like really. You’re…so different for him. Not like the others. Not like the others he plays with at all.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  “Yeah…you would. If you knew what I knew, you wouldn’t. Guess you’re not so different after all. You’re just as stupid and oblivious as all the rest.”

  “You think I’m some inane girl who confuses his huge cock for love? Nope. I’m aware there’s more behind him than what he shows me. I’m aware that he doesn’t really know what love is.”

  “Do you?”

  “I know of a different kind of love. I loved my mother and my father. But falling in love?” I shook my head. “I don’t. Most people don’t.”

  “Well...I do.”

  “Love isn’t tragic.”

  “You said you didn’t know what it was.”

  “I know what it isn’t.”

  She folded her arms with a smirk. “What is it you think you know about Eric?”

  “Why did he begin to…?”

  “Become Dr. Assisted Suicide? If you make better money doing something else with less stress and guaranteeing people peace; why not jump on it?”

  There. Another facet of information I wasn’t quite sure about. My mother and his uncle weren’t his only ones. I didn’t know whether to be comforted or worried. “I don’t believe he’d do it just for the money. I think he grew tired of his inability to cure everyone.”

  “It pays well. It bought this house…it bought…a lot of things. I’m just fucking with you. I’m giving you my reason why. Eric’s reason? Don’t kid you
rself. He doesn’t have a heart of gold. If he did, he wouldn’t take any money from it. That heart of his is dirty, twisted, and frozen.”

  I contemplated the floor as I tried to read between her very broad lines. “Why did he really come here? It couldn’t have been just for a fellowship.”

  “Sure, he got offers in other places. Eric is looking for action in all the wrong places.” She sloppily drank from her pitcher. A good amount of the contents spilled outside the rim.

  “Can you make that less vague? You’re contradicting yourself.”

  “Didn’t your mother tell you? You’re a pseudo smart girl. You can figure it out.”

  “He came here…for me?”

  “It’s hilarious, right? Came here and found out that the girl he thought he came here to visit, wasn’t really her at all.” She raised her pitcher to me and staggered upstairs.

  I didn’t know what to do with what she just told me. Shock wouldn’t allow me to be logical. Shock wouldn’t allow me to keep my head down and pretend—not anymore.

  Staring at the closed door that led to my mother’s bedroom, I had a difficult time going through. I kept the room closed off after she was admitted to the hospital on a permanent basis. It was as neat as she always left it—not at all. The room still held the scent of her perfume. I touched her bed falling solemn for a while. It hit me again. She’s gone.

  Angie appeared in the doorway. She folded her arms while slightly brooding. “He has a shiftiness to him that I don’t like.”

  I swept my palms across my face to clear my tears and glanced at her.

  “Maisha woke me up.” She stepped inside while contemplating the bedroom. “Does this place bring back memories for you?”

  “I was hardly ever in this room. It’s not like I can point there—” I pointed to her vanity. “—and say I used to play in her makeup. Or here—” I sat on the edge of her bed and ran my hands along the comforter. “—and say I used to snuggle up to her while she read me a story. That we watched TV together. That she read me her favorite economic magazine before bed.” I bobbed my head and began my search of the room.