by Pamela Ann
My palms began to sweat. My heart thudded rapidly against my chest. There was a dull pain in my heart. Like little pinpricks, it heavily throbbed.
Hailey … the image of them kissing killed me a little. I wouldn’t dare search for the video because I knew I would lose my fucking mind. And giving in to that negative headspace days before I was set to shoot my first movie was a huge mind fuck. No, I wouldn’t dare submit to the demons that circled around my mind. Tempting though it was, I knew what was at stake here—my career and the love of my life.
“Say something …” he begged dejectedly.
What could I say? I had to give him the benefit of the doubt. Besides, he was right. He wouldn’t lie to me, especially not when it came to Hailey. That woman had caused havoc in his projects. Had it not been for his music, he would probably be busy jumping through hoops to get signed for another film. So yes, I believed my man when he told me that crazy bitch was up to her old antics once again.
Staring at my lap, I took a deep steady breath. “River …” I love you. “I believe you.” The tightening on my chest began to dissipate, ebbing away that momentary pain that stabbed through me when doubt began to take hold of me. Thank goodness I saw through reason. River wouldn’t betray me, not for a second time. “This will be one of many tests. If I don’t trust you, then there’ll be no chance for us. So, this is me trusting that you won’t lie to me. That you won’t hurt me … That you love me enough to appreciate what you and I have.”
He groaned before letting out a laugh that showed how reassured he was. “You have no idea how relieved I am. I was thinking of not telling you, but I thought better. Fuck, this has been tying me up like crazy. Thank you, petal. Thank you for believing in me, even if my past makes you doubt me. Thank you for not listening to that, and paying heed to your heart.”
My heart. It was his. He knew it, too.
A small smile crossed my face as I loosen my tangled bun. “Me, too,” I softly whispered as I imagined how the rumor mill was having a field day of the footage. Good of him to warn me beforehand. That way, I would have every reason not to surf the web for the next couple of weeks. River’s words were enough to fuck with my head.
There was a thoughtful pause before River broke the silence.
“How’s it over there?” he asked, changing the subject to safer waters.
“It’s actually really nice. I met Juan Torres. He seems like a decent guy. I was expecting a diva-like attitude, but I got the opposite.” Which was a nice surprise. All the insecurities I had prior to coming here were now vanquished. Now I could focus on my work and how I could make my character better.
“I’m glad things are working great on your end. I actually called to say that I won’t be doing a world tour. However, I’ll do less than a dozen shows in Europe, and then another similar set here in the US. Ari and the team aren’t too pleased about that, but I just can’t commit to anything that might really push me over the edge.”
Why the sudden change?
Last time I had seen him, he was so hyped for the tour. Had travelling got to him? If his label had demanded that of him just for promotion, I could only imagine what was expected of him had he intended to go through with the tour.
My brows furrowed as I began to worry about his state of mind. If he was breaking at the seams while I was here in a different continent, it made me feel guilty somehow. Maybe this was another case of taking on too much.
“Is everything okay, babe?”
There was a ruffled sound before he made a strangled groan. “Yeah, just everything, you know. It’s catching up to me. It doesn’t help you’re not around to cheer me up.”
That and maybe too much partying perhaps? The man couldn’t expect to function properly in the morning after a night bingeing on alcohol.
There was something in his voice that foretold how much he was missing me, too, and that was something I couldn’t fix, either.
We were poles apart when it came to emotions. While I liked to hide my feelings unless it was necessary for me to say so, River’s emotions ran deeper. He wouldn’t hold anything back once he let that person in his life, in his heart. He once confessed that he had a hard time living without me. And now that he had me back in his life, getting back to that old lifestyle sure did screw with his mind.
“Aw, babe, I’ll be home before you know it.”
“I hate missing you like this, Cara. I wish I could hop on a jet and see you right now …” He would, too, if he wasn’t committed to his label at the moment. River and his spontaneity were legendary.
“I was just thinking about that earlier, actually.” I reflected on that moment when I had heard a loud rap at the door.
“It’s getting late for you, and you have a big day tomorrow. Work hard, but don’t forget to have fun, too, petal.”
“I won’t, babe.” I sighed, wishing he wasn’t so far away. However, as much I would want to dwell on my feelings, my body was ready to doze off. My eyes began to droop as I slowly lifted my sleepy form out of the chair and gathered the essentials needed for a quick shower.
“I love you.”
My heart lurched for a second as I treasured his words of affection. We will survive the distance. We yearned each other too much for the raging fire to dissipate and disappear.
“Love you, too, River Ellis. Always.”
Chapter Twelve
Cora was a tall, buoyant woman with a booming voice that silenced the entire breakfast room. It was how I was first introduced to her. The crew, Juan and I, and the few minor casts that arrived early in the morning were all enjoying our meal when she entered the room and greeted everyone.
It took her several rounds on other tables until she reached ours. Since I was signed too late in the process, I hadn’t had the opportunity to meet the key persons who were responsible behind the scenes.
Most of the main cast were said to be scheduled to arrive all throughout the next couple of days, but since Juan and I would have most of the screen time, our schedules differed a day or two from the rest. It was a good call to come here early, and for Juan to have already arrived a week prior since he was staying in his summer house in Mallorca. All he had to do was hop on a plane for a short flight to the other sister island of Minorca. He stated during the meal that he liked to get to know the area so he could easily get into his character before the shooting even began.
Each actor had their own way of “getting in the zone.” It was interesting to learn these eccentric behaviors from the people I worked with.
Martin Lombardo, who was the executive producer and director, wouldn’t be arriving until tomorrow, but I heard that the other director, Joshua Peaks, would be coming in sometime this afternoon. The other two producers would be joining him, as well.
Cora gave me her room number in case I needed her for anything. There were a lot of names and faces to remember.
Though I was still a bit haggard from the tiresome journey, I was ready to work with Juan. We agreed during breakfast that we’d do a few read-throughs after lunch. He promised to take me to this perfect location that was quiet with a magnificent view.
With a few hours to burn before Juan came knocking on my door, I decided to retreat inside my bedroom. The striking heat didn’t bode well with the tiny headache that began to rapidly form in my head.
Pulling a bottle of painkillers from my emergency travel pack, I popped two in my mouth and washed it down with a glass of juice. After a minute or two, I let out a satisfying sound as I got to my feet and strode towards the balcony. My sight was greeted with a wide expanse of gorgeous aquamarine waters.
I might be far from home, but I felt like I was in my element. I felt as though this was where I was supposed to be, in this moment in time, nowhere else but here. No matter what happened, I was committed to this until the very end, even if the critics ended up not liking me in the end. As long as I promised to do my best and do the character justice, I had nothing to fear.
For a few
hours, I lounged and reflected. I thought back about what River confessed last night and how easily I could have handled that differently. But sense prevailed, and I took his side. And I supposed I didn’t need to know anything else but his truth. His truth was all that mattered … until proven otherwise.
I didn’t want to choke him and feel as though he had no room to move. I had shown him faith by letting him carry on hiring Willa as his assistant. The second was last night. I trusted him after all that had happened. I hoped he wouldn’t take that for granted. We were busy trying to fulfill our dreams. Here’s hoping that would we know better on navigating through the treacherous waters of adulthood and being in a steadfast relationship.
Thirty minutes past noon, Juan came knocking on my door as promised.
“Hola, Cara. Are you ready?” he asked with a lazy smile lighting his face up.
Juan wore cream chino shorts, tan loafers, disheveled hair everywhere, and looking every bit of a European playboy that he was known for. Come to think of it, he hadn’t mentioned his girlfriend. From what I could recall, his lady had killer abs. Well, it was what Anton and I found online at that time, anyway. Maybe things had changed for him. Given his fame and notorious womanizing ways, relationships took a different hold with these bad boys. I wouldn’t be surprised if that hadn’t lasted, either.
“Do I need to bring anything important? Like, extra sunscreen, water?” I didn’t want to look like a burnt peel in the movie. People were so critical with looks these days. I was sure I’d be sacked if I turned up looking like a half-ass semi-roasted human.
Dark eyes shortly scanned my skimpy outfit before shaking his head. “I think you’re dressed for the occasion. It’s hot outside, but the breeze is lovely.”
I wore mini shorts and a midriff top with my hair loose and free. I had my bathing suit underneath since I wasn’t sure if I wanted to take a refreshing dip in the sea after my reading session with Juan.
“All right, let’s going.” I plucked my purse that had all the things I needed, like the script. Juan had his rolled and tucked behind his shorts, cowboy style.
The blistering heat hit me hard on the face the moment we walked out of the hotel. I wished for a second that I had piled my hair high instead of letting it curtain my back. Beads of sweat began to come out of my pores as we walked side by side, strolling towards the direction where the cove was located.
We passed by the white sandy shore that littered blue and white umbrellas as people lounged, sun bathing and enjoying the beautiful waters of the Mediterranean Sea.
Upon reaching the dock, I was surprised to find there was a speedboat and a man waiting for us, who Juan introduced as Santiago.
“Where are we going?” I frowned at Juan as Santiago held his hand towards me, offering his assistance.
Juan casually pointed out to sea where a three-story powerboat waited. “There.”
Oh. Here I was, thinking somewhere on the island, where we could enjoy the view while we practiced our lines. But Juan liked to do it with a twist of Spanish flair.
I nodded as I grappled my purse and let Santiago assist getting me inside the speedboat.
Juan hopped on without difficulty. The man had lived in this country all his life. I was sure this lifestyle was something he was accustomed to. I, on the other hand, was having a new experience altogether.
The ride was short, and not before long, Santiago deposited us at our intended destination where a crew greeted us. Juan was warm as he fluidly greeted and instructed them in Spanish. I nodded and said “hello” when he introduced me.
When they scattered to work at whatever designated chore they were doing before we arrived, I followed Juan as he guided us towards the middle deck. We had to climb a short flight of lacquered stairs that glistened under the sun to reach the next level, where the comfortable looking chairs, loungers, a full stock bar, a breakfast nook were all at our disposal.
“Where’d you find this massive floating palace?” I finally asked as I situated my butt in one of the white leather cushioned loungers.
This was luxury at its finest. I couldn’t fault Juan for wanting to spend his afternoon in one of these.
While I sat, Juan strode towards the table where champagne in a silver bucket nestled in ice. It also came with different array of fruits, tapas, cheeses, breads, and a selection of desserts.
“My uncle owns it. He lets me borrow his toy during the summer months. It was mooring in Mallorca, but I had it sailed to this island yesterday.” He plucked the champagne out of its bed of ice then swiftly took a knife, popping the cork out of its hold. The contents fizzled out of its neck before he poured the golden liquid into two flutes. He then strode across to where I sat and handed me one.
Juan downed his drink with a swift gulp. I watched, quite amazed, as his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. And while I was at it, I couldn’t help but admire his strong neck muscles.
Then I paused as horror filled me. Neck muscles? Are you out of your fucking mind, Cara?
It was probably the heat. It had to be.
Shaking the nonsense out of my head, I drank half of my champagne before I diverted my attention to simpler things, towards the aquamarine sea. The view was serene as I tried to clear my thoughts from all the garbage it had been spewing for the past couple of minutes.
Yes, there was no doubt Juan Torres was drop dead gorgeous, but that was all there was to it! He could be disarming at times, and yes, I admit there were moments where his smile and that deep laugh made my stomach somersault, but that didn’t mean a damn thing. Anyone with eyes could appreciate perfection, and sadly, Juan came close to being such. Though I prayed soon I’d find out things about him that wouldn’t make me hold him in such high esteem.
Taking the seat opposing me, Juan pulled the script out of his pocket and slammed it down next to him. “Are you ready, Andy Fuller?” he drawled in his cute, accented tone.
With the breeze softly teasing my hair and a chilled champagne in my hand, I was ready as I would ever be.
While we read through the first scene, we began counting how many sex scenes we’d have to orchestrate. There were to be seven full nude scenes and three minor ones that indicated a hot and heavy make-out session in the back alley.
Seven.
Seven times I’d have to strip bare.
That sent shivers down my spine as I tried to avoid Juan’s dark, heated gaze. Apparently, the Spanish man found it amusing. He didn’t mind nudity since he claimed he’d already done a few scenes in his previous films. River would be furiously appalled if he ever found out.
We ran lines for about an hour before he declared a quick break. While I rested my mind, I fed my belly with the selection of food on the table. Juan, on the other hand, had different ideas.
He stripped down to his black athletic swim shorts, leaving his clothes on the deck, before he went to the side of the boat. His sculpted backside beckoned my eyes, and I couldn’t waiver from the muscly display. And before I could ask him what he intended to do, the man dove as if it was the most normal thing to do.
What the hell? Should I check on him or should I stay put? After a minute of arguing with myself, the latter won out.
I sat idly by, eating and drinking while I waited for him to emerge.
Juan resurfaced on the deck about an hour later, dripping wet and famished from his little jaunt.
We carried on until six in the evening. One hour work. One hour play. So, in total, we accomplished about three hours of working and the rest was spent eating and lounging while he swam to his heart’s content.
By the night’s end, Juan insisted that we eat onboard. He introduced me to new dishes and a hefty load of freshly made churros. The sweet, crunchy dessert was something I couldn’t resist. Pair that with excellent champagne, and the combination was divine.
It was midnight when I returned back to my room. Exhausted and slightly inebriated, I figured I’d call my friends and River tomorrow when I got a chance.
Chapter Thirteen
It was our seventh day shooting, and in an hour’s time, we were set to shoot the first nudity scene with Juan. I was in my trailer, failing not to fret, when I received a call from River.
Trying to hide the building anxiety, I took the call with masked enthusiasm.
“How’s my beautiful girl doing?” he greeted.
Tied with nerves, hearing his voice immediately made me feel at ease. It was as if his voice had the power to center me.
“A little tired, but still pumped to be working on a Lombardo film,” I said warily, hoping he couldn’t detect the anxiety in my voice. River would be the last person to coach me on how to approach baring scenes. In his past movies, he’d endured them without a hitch. He was perfection personified on screen. If he was nervous, no one would know. River embodied his Viking character to a T.
“Just calling to say hi. Also, to tell you that I’ll be in Sweden in five days’ time. Will you be able to make it, then?”
He had texted me his schedule a few nights back, and I hadn’t had the chance to really ponder it. But since he was arriving on a Saturday but his show was set on a Sunday, I was sure I could make it to the show.
“I won’t be able to make it until Sunday. Then I’d have to leave the next morning. The schedule’s pretty tight, and I wouldn’t know if Cora will let me take more days off than what was already scheduled.”
“Barely a day?” River grumbled before he sighed. “I guess that’s better than nothing.”