by Pamela Ann
“River!” I screeched as I tried to yank the door open, but it was locked from the inside. “Fuck!” I frantically tapped on his cracked glass, hoping he would gain consciousness. “River, fucking wake up!” Dread took hold of me when my efforts worked to no avail.
The heat of the fire was stifling, its scorching heat almost burning me.
“Miss, get out of there. The car might blow up!” someone yelled at me from somewhere.
“Help’s on its way!” another person hollered, trying to shoot some sense into me.
“Are you deaf? Get out of there before you kill yourself!” another stranger grated somewhere.
The car might blow up.
The car might blow up, and none of them offered to help!
“Fuck you all,” I muttered under my breath. Then, with all my might, all my strength, I elbowed the cracked glass, but it didn’t shatter. However, I could hear the sharp splitting, cracking sound, indicating that it was working.
I placed my right hand over my left knuckle, gripping it with all my might before I smashed my elbow as hard as I could. I did it several times until the glass gave in, shattering into shards all over River’s lap.
“Wake up!” I shook his shoulders, but he remained unconscious. My eyes darted towards his limp body facing forward. He wasn’t wearing seatbelt. “Damn you!”
Blood oozed from the side of his head, giving me flashbacks of Juan. My insides withered at the thought of losing River.
“You’re not going to fucking die on me, too, over my dead body!” I screamed at his lifeless body, hating the fact that he was too incensed to bother with a seatbelt. “You’re not dying on me, fucker!”
I cowered down, hooked his arm around my shoulder and began to slide him off the seat. His body sagged against my hip before I maneuvered my body so I could place my arms underneath his and began to drag him slowly as his shoes grazed the asphalt. His body was so heavy, but I somehow garnered enough strength to drag him away from his wrecked car.
I managed to get him ten feet before my body shut down. I remembered having difficulty breathing before everything became a blur. Then I completely blacked out.
//
My head ached. I groaned as my eyes flickered open and found a nurse hovering over me, checking something.
“Hi, good of you to finally join us,” she warmly greeted me with her sunny smile. “I’m Dorothy, your nurse for today.”
I flinched when I felt my elbow throb. “What happened?” My eyes darted to the cause of my pain, and then I deeply sighed when I saw it was heavily bandaged up.
River. The crash. Blackout.
“You fainted at the scene.”
Of all the places to pass out, I couldn’t believe I did it in the middle of a freeway and right after saving River. Where was he, anyway?
“How long have I been here?” I took in the machines next to me. I frowned, wondering why I was hooked to any of them when I only needed bandages for my elbow.
“A few hours,” she murmured before gazing down on me with that warm smile of hers.
This was good and all, but I didn’t want to stay here more than necessary.
“Can I go home now?” There was always something about hospital smells that made me feel uneasy. It was that staleness, the white walls, the antiseptic scent, the sound of death littering the halls, and the sounds of newborns being welcomed to the world, some loved, some abandoned. Yes, hospitals and I didn’t get on so well.
“You can go home, sweetie. But before you do … there’s more.” She took hold of my hand and threw me the same smile again, but this time there was sadness, maybe a little pity in those pale blue eyes of hers. “You also miscarried. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
I froze. “I was pregnant?” Then Sweden came to mind. One pill. I only skipped it once …
She nodded. “Barely five weeks. These things happen all the time. These are the delicate stages during pregnancy. From the strain you endured helping at the scene, it was probably too much for your body. But we’re also concerned because we found a lot of traces of illegal substances in your system. If you need help, counseling, rehabilitation, or just to speak to a therapist to address addiction, we’d be more than willing to assist you.”
My baby died to save its father. What kind of sick joke was that?
“Thank you, but I’m good for now.” My guards were up. Gaining back my strength, I addressed the nurse, “Where are my clothes?”
“Your clothes and your purse are right here.” She walked towards a tiny cabinet, gently pulling them out before bringing them over to me. “The officer on the scene brought it to us an hour ago. He also left a card to the towing company that has your car. Can we call someone to pick you up?”
“No. A cab will do fine.” With my clothes clutched in my hand, I maneuvered my body halfway off the hospital bed, dressed in a gown, when I halted the exiting nurse. “Sorry, but … do you know where River Ellis is?”
“He’s fine, sweetie. He’s very lucky you were there to save him. Apart from a broken rib and a mild concussion, he’ll be good as new soon enough. If you plan on seeing him, he’s not accepting visitors. His agent gave strict orders that no one goes in there without his approval.”
If he hadn’t changed his emergency person, then it would still me be, so my authority would override Ari’s orders.
“Please tell me what room he’s in?” I begged for a second time, not willing to let her out of here until she told me.
She paused, looking down before she nodded. She knew I saved him, so she must’ve understood my plight of needing to witness him breathing with my own eyes. “Three floors up. His room’s right across the nurses’ station, on the right. You won’t be able to miss it.”
“Thank you, Nurse Dorothy.”
“You take care now, sweetie. And please, try to think about what I said earlier. It’s never too late to seek help. All you have to do is take that first step.” She threw me one more thoughtful look before closing the door behind her.
I stared for a good minute, taking account her words of wisdom. The drugs weren’t self-inflicted. It was by accident. But she didn’t know that. And I didn’t care to elaborate. No one would ever know what happened to me. Over my dead body. I would take it to my grave. No one would see me as a victim, not in this lifetime.
It took me half an hour to get fully dressed. My body still suffered the aftereffects of what they had injected in me, so I was a little groggy. From there, I followed Nurse Dorothy’s instructions, and just before I was about to reach River’s room, a male nurse stopped me in my tracks.
“Excuse me, ma’am, you’re not allowed in there!” he haughtily reprimanded me as if he was guarding the crown jewels, proud and arrogant.
“I’m his emergency person,” I argued as I dug into my purse for my identification before handing it over to him. “Call his insurance company. I’m the only person authorized to make decisions if he’s incapacitated.” I even threw in a sickly sour smile just to give him a warm, fuzzy feeling in his stomach.
After double-checking it twice, he begrudgingly gave me back my identification before murmuring that I could go see him.
Irritated as I was, all my focus was on River, and upon entering his room, I felt my world closing in on me. I could taste the saltiness of my tears behind my throat as I willed myself to move forward. In the middle of the room, there he lay, head bandaged up with a faint bruise on his cheek and scratches on his face. The scratches were superficial wounds. Apart from that, he appeared as though he hadn’t been in an accident. His lips were soft and red, and his pallor the same as earlier today.
I timidly took a step before reaching his side. Taking hold of his hand, I cradled it with my own before the tip of my nose brushed against it, inhaling him deeply before my lips kissed each bone on his knuckle, like the way he used to do with mine.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered as tears threatened to slip from my eyes again.
The ring belonged
to him. I held his hand with my left while I dug into my pocket with my right and pulled out his grandmother’s ring, closing his fingers over it.
My eyes took him in, brushing over his handsome face as if committing him to memory. Who knew when I would see him next? Maybe never. If it were up to River, I would never see him again. He would take every painstaking precaution there was to avoid running into me.
So, this was it …
“Goodbye, my heart.” My love.
My heart, I was leaving it here with him. I had no use for it. My heart dies with him. And it all ended here. Right now. In this very moment.
Without him, life would be meaningless.
Slowly replacing his hand back on the bed, I wiped my tears away. Then I took a deep breath and strode out the door, never looking back. I didn’t release my breath until I stepped into the elevator, heading straight down to hell.
There was nothing left to break. I was broken beyond repair.
Darkness greeted me. It embraced my shattered soul.
I closed my eyes and there he was, delighted that I was finally his. Just as he promised.
River & Cara’s story will continue in Cascade
Coming August/September 2017
~
Thanks for reading Savage: Unapologetic. I hope you truly enjoyed it!
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Side Note For Torn Series Readers:
Damaged had to be scrapped. The tone of the whole story was too somber and depressing. I wasn’t happy on how the book came about. I was advised not to release it. So, I decided to take his story and evolve it into something less doom and gloom. His book will be named “Carter Mason” and will include some of Damage as flashbacks. I’ll build a new story around that. Thank you for being patient.
Undeniably Us: Bass Cole
Coming July 2017
Pre-order available for Kindle and iBooks
Greyson Edwards Fans:
Falling To Pieces (Grey + Olivia)
Coming October 2017
Pre-order available for iBooks
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