She rests her back against my front, allowing me access to her beautiful breasts. I tug on her nipples and the rings through them and cup the soft flesh as she grinds against my lap. I’ve got my eyes closed. Her hands are gently running through my hair, and my mouth is placing light kisses against her neck. I’ve lost myself in the feel of Cecelia so I’m startled when I feel warm breath against my groin.
Opening my eyes, I see Hagen kneeling, like I had been, between Celia’s and my legs. He’s eating her pussy, her pussy that’s filled to the brim with my come. His tongue is indiscriminate, flicking against her clit, sliding down to caress my shaft as well. It’s an overwhelming feeling. I’ve never had any desire to be with another man, or really any other female, but this feels indescribable. I pinch, pull and tug Celia’s nipples harder, thrusting deeper, chasing the orgasm I feel building from too much stimulation.
“I’m gonna come so hard in you, Cecelia. I’m gonna make your pussy overflow with me,” I promise her. It’s also a warning to Hagen. But it doesn’t seem to stop him. In fact, he doubles his efforts, sucking Celia’s clit into his mouth right as I pinch her nipples and she explodes around me. Her climax forces mine, and as Hagen’s tongue runs a pass along the length of my dick, I spill out with a gasp.
I know he’s tasting us, tasting me, and it keeps me pumping just a little longer.
“Damn, son.” His voice is muffled, my ears are ringing so loudly from my orgasm. “I’ll give it to you for free as a thank you for that.”
I don’t acknowledge his words. I just turn Celia’s head, licking her lips before kissing her until we can’t breathe.
Breathless and dry-mouthed, I help Celia off my lap and onto the sofa beside me. My cock slips wet and sated from her body, plopping against my belly. Though Celia is still wearing her flannel shirt over her shoulders, it’s wide and unbuttoned, and my long-sleeved shirt is all I have on. Neither one of us makes any attempt to cover our nudity. We have no time for modesty.
With my head resting against the back cushion, I roll it to gaze upon her. She’s got a sheen of sweat covering her heaving breasts, amplifying the golden hue she still carries thanks to her lineage. There’s also a glint from her nipple rings. She’s so fucking beautiful and I want nothing more than to take her again.
I see a bottle of water come to rest before her, and then notice one for me as well. I take it with a nod and guzzle the whole thing down in one breath. As I let the empty bottle fall to the floor, I turn my attention toward Hagen. He’s still wearing his button-up shirt, and has slipped his boxers on. But that’s not what keeps my attention. He’s cutting more lines of white, and I am itching for another hit.
“Come get another.” Hagen waves us over, and being the fiends that we’ve become because of the powder, we lift off of the sofa and move to take our turn. “Jesus, you’re both pierced? That’s so fucking hot.”
I ignore his fanboying and press the straw to my nose. The inhale is sharp and burns. It makes my eyes squint as I feel the chemicals take over my brain and bloodstream. It makes my nerve-endings dance and my cock twitch. I haven’t even come down from our last go round, but watching Celia bend over, her shirt barely covering her plump ass, makes me want to slam my cock into her and pound her until neither of us can walk.
I also have a sudden desire to fuck her in the ass.
That thought has me rock hard and dripping with want.
She must feel my stare, feel the heat from my need, because as she stands and welcomes the rush, her eyes heat. “What are you looking at me like that for?”
“Would you do something for me?” I ask, my voice low, heavy with lust.
“I’d do anything for you, baby. You know that.”
I move to press against her, my chest against hers, my cock trapped against her belly. I press a slow kiss against her lips, letting my tongue caress hers. “Will you let me have you here?” I let my right hand run along her hip and back to her ass. Gently, I slip my middle finger between her ass cheeks, running it lightly across the puckered hole.
Her breath catches.
Her eyes droop.
Her nipples tighten against my chest.
I smell the scent of her arousal flood the room like a tidal wave.
With her bottom lipped caught between her teeth, she nods at me.
“Got anymore condoms, man?” I ask and feel a foil package slip into my open palm.
I hear Hagen blabbering about something, but I can’t make out what he’s saying. All I can understand is what Celia is gifting me.
It feels like a blur of movement. One minute we were standing at the table, and the next, we’re atop the bed, completely naked, my body pressed between her legs. I’m kissing Cecelia’s mouth, lapping at her neck and suckling her tits. My fingers travel to her pussy, finding her absolutely drenched. Even in my inebriated state, I know this is a good thing.
“I’ll go slow, baby. I’ll make you feel so good.”
Sitting back on my haunches, I quickly slide the condom on, then I dip my fingers in our juices and watch as Celia lifts her legs, holding them at her knees and letting her ass open to me. I wonder briefly if we should try it this way, with her on her back, but my head is swimming and my body is shaking. Without thinking further, I begin to nudge at the tight opening with my fingers, wanting to stretch her a bit before I try with my cock.
“Just relax, baby. Take deep breaths,” I coach, wondering somewhere in the back of my mind if not for the added aid of coke would Celia be this willing or this able to handle what I’m trying to do to her. Wondering if not for the aid of coke, would I have even asked her for this.
I slip first one digit inside her, feeling the suction and hearing the intake of breath. I look quickly at her face, noticing she doesn’t look to be in pain, and then add a second finger. Another breath leaves Celia, and this one is accompanied by a moan.
“You like that? Hmm?” I ask as I begin to rock my fingers, loosening her a bit more before slipping a third finger in. Celia just moans louder. Wanting to touch her further, I place my free hand against her pussy, rubbing her clit until she’s a sobbing mess. I fuck her like this until she’s coming again. Slipping my fingers from her, I coat my cock and gently push into her ass. There’s some resistance, but with a request for her to relax, I feel the head, piercing and all, slip into her.
That alone would have done me in, but it’s the moaning for more that has my cock slipping balls deep into her. “Jesus fuck,” Celia gasps out and I can’t help but agree. The feeling is indescribable. I don’t know if I’ll be able to last very long.
I start a slow thrust in and out, letting her adjust. I begin rubbing her clit again and occasionally slipping a finger deep into her. She’s a moaning mess of quivering limbs. Watching the way her tits are bouncing, watching the way my finger looks sliding in and out her, the way my cock looks, I know I’m gonna come too fast.
“Baby, can you ride me like this?” I ask, hoping that taking away the visual stimulation will help slow my barreling orgasm.
“I can try.” I pull out, feeling the loss immediately, and trade places with Celia. Knowing this will be different than her riding my cock on her pussy, I help her get me back inside. It’s slow going, but finally, I’m back inside her ass and she’s balancing her hands on my chest as she bounces. While this is still too much, it has managed to slow the freight train my climax was riding in on.
Running my hands along her waist, I grip her hips and focus on the sound of her moans. It’s then that I get another surprise. Hagen has dipped the bed, throwing my thrusts off a bit and slowing Celia down.
“I want in on this too,” he says and before I know it, I feel a nudge against Celia’s pussy as Hagen slips his cock into her, though he maintains his distance from climbing on top of her.
He starts moving almost instantly and I can’t help the groan that escapes at the feel of his dick sliding against my own through the thin wall within her. I hear Celia breathe out that she feels so
full, and I begin thrusting in earnest.
Through the cloud of the powder, a tickle against my brain is amazed at what is occurring. I never thought I’d have a threesome before. But this…yeah. The bit of my mind that is still coherent enough to understand what is actually happening accepts that if not for the coke, neither Cecelia or myself would be doing this. I understand this is all chemically induced, and the unstoppable lust is merely a byproduct. I need her, but I’m not insatiable to the point of insanity. And this certainly feels like insanity.
“Shit.”
As my mind returns to the here and now, I feel Hagen slip out. He’s come again. And fast, unless he was jacking off while I fucked Celia. I doubt it though. He’d finished quickly earlier too. No matter. Having her pussy free, and wanting to come in her again, on her upward bounce, I slip Celia off my cock and maneuver her to her knees. Pulling the condom off and tossing it over the bed, I slip into her wet pussy and rather than pound into her, I push long and hard and deep until she’s quivering so badly, she’s crying my name.
Then I let myself come deep and primal inside of her. With a collapse of our exhausted bodies on to the mattress, we pass out.
ELEVEN
I wake with start. It’s dark, and the scent of sex and stale cigarettes permeates the air. I don’t recognize the room. I don’t recognize the rough sheets I’m wrapped in. The only thing familiar to me the sleeping girl at my side. Rubbing my eyes with the heel of my hand, I rise from the bed, find myself completely naked and my clothes strewn haphazardly around the dirty room.
Walking to the window, I notice bars cover it from the outside. I don’t recognize the area and it’s only upon seeing a matchbook on an end table that says the name, that I have any idea where we are.
“Midway?” I question aloud and then regret it. My head is throbbing and I feel like I’ve run a marathon or twelve.
There’s several used condoms on the floor near the foot of the bed and I wonder why. Celia and I have never used rubbers. She’d been on birth control from the moment I met her. A ‘gift’ from an untrusting father who didn’t want any bastard grandchildren of his own to take care of. Never mind the fact Celia hadn’t even had a friend at the time.
Still, we didn’t exactly have access to condoms in rehab. They kept her up on her birth control shots simply because it was considered medically necessary since she had come in receiving the treatment, and once we got out, using the her father’s medical insurance one last time, Celia got herself an IUD. So we’ve never had to worry. I can’t imagine why we would have suddenly decided to use one now. Or why we’re in this shitty place when I have a perfectly good bedroom at home.
Unless I was kicked out?
Jesus Christ, did Frankie and Brock kick me out?
I’d lost my job. I remember that part. I remember telling them about it, telling them I’d be looking for a new one, but still. I can’t remember if…but wait. No. I don’t think so.
I can’t remember, and thinking is making my head hurt more. What day is it? Why are we here? The last thing I do remember is talking to that guy Frankie had kicked out. And then it comes back to me.
He’d been trying to sell drugs at the party. I remember now. I bought some. And then Cecelia and I had stowed away to my room to use it.
Fuck.
Pulling my jeans on, I notice white residue atop the table in the room as well as an unopened packet. We obviously must have come for more. Still, I can’t imagine why we’d stick around. Rushing to the bed, I shake Celia to wake her. I want to get out of here and go home. God only knows the types of people who hang around these parts. Or fuck, who it is we bought from or how much we ended up spending this time around.
“Celia? Baby, wake up. We need to go.”
She rouses slowly, lines on her face from the pillow. “What?”
“Come on, baby, we gotta go.”
It’s a struggle at first, but she slowly comes to and I watch her eyes widen as she takes in our surroundings. She’s just as confused as I am. And like me, she has no memory of why we’d still be here. I can see she’s uncomfortable by this, so she dresses quickly, if sloppily. Missing several buttons on her flannel shirt. She can fix it later. I also notice she’s moving gingerly.
“Are you okay?” I ask as she steps into her sneakers, a grimace on her face.
She nods and slides her arms into her coat. “I’m just sore. I don’t…what did we do?”
I don’t know how to answer. I’m not sore, not like Celia can be sore, but my dick feels well used. There’s dried jizz on it and my mouth has the faintest taste of pussy in it. I want to shower and brush my teeth so badly.
“I don’t know. Let’s just go home.”
She nods and we rush from the room. We leave the packet behind. We don’t say it, but the idea of having no memory of this experience has left us not only scared, but not willing to take any more chances. We wanted to forget the world for a while. Be careful what you wish for, and all that.
The train ride back is arduous. Not only does Cecelia tell me she is sore, but her bottom feels tender too. And neither of us can remember why. I know this terrifies her, I mean hell, it terrifies me too. We woke up naked in a rumpled bed in a seedy motel room with coke on the table and used up condoms littering the floor.
I can’t allow myself to imagine the whys. Because if I do, I know guilt will overrun me.
What did we do to feel this way? Did someone harm us? Harm Celia? And if someone did, I was too fucked up to save her. Unless I’m the one who hurt her, in which case, my stomach, empty but for the pain I feel from that, wants to expunge itself of everything left over.
I would kill myself if I hurt her.
Perhaps it’s a look on my face. Or a wildness to my eyes. My fear and terror spilling out to give me away. Cecelia wraps her arms around me. She holds me and feels my shudder. Feels my fear even in the middle of undoubtedly her own struggle. “Chace, baby, look at me.” Her delicate hands are on my face, forcing my eyes to hers. “No matter what, I know you didn’t hurt me. I know it in my very soul. Okay?”
I just nod. I nod and allow her absolution to wash over me because like I said, if I think about it too much, I’ll either be sick or want to die.
I’m tentative about entering my apartment. I’m hoping I am still allowed to live here, that I haven’t been kicked out since I’ve basically been MIA for God only knows how long. But all my fears are for nothing as I step into the living room and see my roommates playing a video game. “Look whose back from the dead,” Brock jokes, never taking his eyes off the television where soldiers move down broken streets and explosions create more debris. I don’t tell Brock how right he is.
“So have you guys just been hanging at your place?” Frankie asks Celia, his eyes checking out her legs before zeroing in on her chest covered by a haphazardly buttoned shirt. She looks at me confused. Apparently we weren’t missed. Apparently, we weren’t worried about. Apparently, at least one of my worries has been cleared up.
“Uh, yeah. Her roommate went out of town,” I lie and take her hand to lead her to my room. I don’t want to stick around and have any more questions asked of us. My head is still scrambled from the coke and the last thing I want is to have to come up with more lies for our whereabouts, or accidently give up the fact we’d been so coked up, we don’t even know what day it is at this point. “We’ll catch you guys later.” I hear their mumbled ‘whatevers’ as I close the door and flip the lock.
I am typically a very tidy person, years of parental expectation and then time spent in rehab has left me with an inability to be anything but. Yet, my room is messy. My bed left unmade from whenever it was we left it. The scent of sex, stale but still present, lingers in the air and on the sheets.
I shake my head at the scene and move to my desk where my phone charger is connected to the wall. I still have Cecelia’s hand when I spot the small mirror sitting, dusted with white. I close my eyes and feel her squeeze my hand. When my eyes o
pen, they gaze upon Celia’s concerned brown. With a nod, I reach for the plug.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I connect it to the charger. It’s dead but with a bit of battery finally flowing through it, it tells me what date it is. “Shit.”
“What?” Celia’s right up against my side in an instant, looking over my shoulder. I show her my phone and hear her gasp.
The Halloween party had been on the twenty-fourth of October. The date on my phone reads November nineteenth. Over an entire month. Gone. Lost.
Fuck.
Snorted up and vanished.
Placing my phone on top of my desk, left to charge, I pick up the mirror and pulling Celia by the hand, walk her to my bathroom. I’m lucky, my room has an en suite while the brothers share a bathroom. One-handed, I turn the dial on my sink, slipping the mirror underneath to wash away the residue of our catastrophic error in judgment until the mirrors runs clear.
Then I start the shower.
We don’t talk, simply undress one another. Her neck, chest, and back are covered with hickeys and scratches that look like they came from facial hair and I keep my thoughts to myself in wondering if it was more than me who gave them to her. With the water in my shower, near scalding, I pull her underneath the spray with me, shutting tight the curtain to keep the outside world at bay for as long as possible.
I wash her hair and then mine. Cleaning her body and being extra gentle when I brush the wash cloth against her tender skin. I take great care to wash away the lost time. I know, given how little concern Frankie and Brock had for me, that we weren’t gone the whole month. I know that logically, because they would have said something. And the fact that my room shows signs of our presence tells me this as well. But we were still gone long enough. And the fact we can’t remember how long or what we did causes tremors to break across my bones.
The Bitter (Addiction #1) Page 9