“That’s ok,” Esty said, slightly deflated. “Your offices look amazing so you’re off the hook for now. While I love the new space, I think I am going to miss the post-meeting martinis in the hot tub. By the way, when things calm down a bit, would you come to a taping? I get complimentary seats.”
“Sure, after the hearing,” I replied. “By the way, if you need any more entertainment legal work done, my partner, Ethan Berg, can help.”
“If my luck continues, I may need his help,” Esty replied.
“Well let’s hope you’re as lucky in your estate challenge,” I said.
“What is the hearing about?” she asked.
“Our hearing next week is to argue that the venue of the proceeding should remain in the Los Angeles area and not be moved to New York. Although the situs of the estate is in New York, which does present a challenge, this is your home now. If you have to fight this in New York, we’ll figure things out, but for now I remain confident that we can keep the case here,” I explained.
“So how’s it looking?” she asked.
“Things are proceeding nicely. Mandy Chalmers is automatically up against the presumption of undue influence since she was in a position of trust and influence as your aunt’s nurse,” I informed her. “Mr. Sumner’s relationship with Mandy also helps to discredit the validity of the second will since he engineered jobs with Ivana for both his son and Mandy, his son’s girlfriend. This is well documented by your aunt’s and Rita’s letters to you. The letters are also convincing evidence to demonstrate Mandy’s and the Sumners’ coercive efforts to convince your aunt to sell her land to Mr. Sumner. Furthermore, Mr. Sumner has a documented 20-year history of continually attempting to buy your aunt’s property out from under her for a fraction of its worth.”
“By the way, how did you find out about the sale of the land? How did you get proof of that?” she asked.
“Oh, when I contacted the land titles office in South Hampton, they told me that they had been advised of an impending sale of your aunt’s land,” I lied.
“All of Sumners’ bids on her property were registered with the land titles office in South Hampton because of the unique nature of your aunt’s land. So I have copies of every bid he ever placed.” I paused for a sip of coffee, trying to keep the explanation simple for Esty.
“Your guardian angel Rita sent me all of the letters Mr. Sumner gave to your aunt that gently threatened her to sell him the land. Apparently, Rita and your aunt were closer than just being friends and neighbours, if you get my drift. Rita called me to tell me that when Ivana realized that her poor health made her vulnerable to predators like Sumner, she made sure that Rita took a copy of every piece of paper he gave her. Ivana also documented every bit of untoward behaviour by anyone who could be suspected of attempting to steal from her.”
“That’s incredible,” Esty said, smiling. I could see that she missed her aunt.
“Well, a person does not become as rich as Ivana was without some forethought. As for Rita, she told me that it was a well-hidden affair, so that her husband and children would not find out, since being gay was verboten in her generation.” I looked to see if the thought bothered Esty. She continued smiling and nodding.
“It’s a good thing too for you, because, from what Rita told me, if she had not been there to intercede, Mandy was ready to pull out every weapon in her arsenal, including drawing on her bicurious experimentation from her nursing school days, as a means to influence your aunt.”
“Wow, Rita saves the day!” Esty was smiling brightly.
“Rita’s testimony definitely strengthens your case,” I allowed. “However, I don’t want you to think that this case is in the bag. Even though there are many suspicious circumstances surrounding the making of that will, we need to figure out how to get around the fact that while Mandy admitted she signed the will for your aunt, the named executor and the gifts are in Ivana’s handwriting.”
“How do you do that?” Esty asked.
“For Mandy to have acted as true amanuensis in signing for Ivana, she would’ve needed to do little more than lift the pen to help Ivana sign her own name. We know from the signature that that was not the case. I plan on arguing that if Ivana were able to write out the executor and gifts that she wanted to name and give without Mandy’s assistance, it makes no sense that signing her own name would be an issue,” I said, sliding comfortably back into life as an attorney.
“Actually, I remember Rita mentioned something to me about Mandy having Ivana practice her handwriting at random times, but she never saw anything,” Esty recalled.
“For all we know, Mandy could have had Ivana write out the bank’s name and the words ‘everything to Mandy’ on the form without telling Ivana what she was writing on,” I hypothesized. “If that was the case, it would be helpful to have a witness testify to that. Maybe Rita saw something. If not, hopefully, our judge will see that, on the balance of probabilities, what I have described likely was what took place.”
“What about the two witnesses to the second will? Couldn’t they provide that evidence?” she asked.
“That would be tough since the very people we are counter-suing acted as the witnesses,” I said, trying to restrain the anger bubbling in my gut.
“I thought that this case was a slam dunk for me. How can we win if the very witnesses are the ones who are trying to steal from my aunt?” Esty asked, worry creeping into her chipper voice.
“No case is ever a slam dunk. But this is as close to one as we get,” I offered. “You can’t witness a will under which you are a beneficiary. Mandy was in a position to influence your aunt. The fact that she witnessed the second will and is its sole beneficiary helps our case considerably.”
“I don’t understand. If Mandy covered her tracks and we don’t have anyone to prove that Mandy manipulated my aunt into writing those words herself, how can my chances be so great?”
“Well, the judge will begin by assessing the facts of the case on the balance of probabilities. That means that he will look at the arguments put before him and decide if what is argued to have happened was likely,” I said, keeping my voice measured and slow. “I am a very convincing attorney who will be able to demonstrate that Mandy and company did not have clean hands in the signing of the second will. Because Mandy was Ivana’s nurse, she, not you, must establish that Ivana had testamentary capacity, knowledge and approval of the contents of the second will.”
“Why didn’t you just start with that?” she asked, breathing a sigh of relief.
“Rita’s testimony should cinch things. Please be rest assured that things are under control,” I said.
“I’ll try,” she said. “I can’t believe that those scumbags would do that to my aunt.”
“Where there is a will, there is always someone whose greed will prevail upon them to do shady things to make a buck. When you have been working in estates law for as long as I have, nothing is shocking anymore,” I said.
“I’m sure,” she said. “Sounds easier than I thought it would be.”
“While what we’re doing is straightforward, with my old firm representing the other side, I know they will do their best to keep things interesting,” I said, anxious at the thought.
“Will the fact that you’re representing me be a problem?” she asked.
“I doubt it,” I replied hesitantly. “Regardless, I know the person handling the matter, and he’s an absolute moron. He couldn’t string together a coherent legal argument with a flashlight and a dictionary.”
“Well, it seems like you have everything under control,” she said, relieved. “I spoke to Rita last night, and she is flying out next week to meet with you to tell you what she knows.”
“That’s cutting it a bit close to the hearing for the purpose of serving the other side with her deposition, but at the same time it protects our element of surprise,” I said.
“Janice, could you please set up a teleconference with Rita to start preparing for her dep
osition next week?” I asked. “This way, we won’t have to rush to finalize it and serve it on opposing counsel as we walk into the courtroom.”
“You betcha. I’ll get right on it,” Janice replied as she left the meeting.
“One thing that I don’t understand,” I said, turning back toward Esty, “is how Rita has managed to keep Mandy and the Sumners off of her scent for so long, given her proximity to Ivana.”
“That’s actually quite easy,” Esty replied with a smile. “Rita pretended to be blind whenever they were around.”
“Which she’s not?” I asked.
“Hell no! The woman’s got 20/20 vision,” Esty said laughing. “Her hobbies include archery and sharpshooting, so, unless she’s the bionic blind woman, Rita saw everything that went on in that house.”
“They have no clue what she saw, heard or knows,” Esty continued. “Rita told me that they would talk openly around her because they figured that since she was blind and they never heard her speak, she was deaf too.”
“That’s amazing,” I said incredulously. “Listen, don’t worry about a thing. I have everything under control. Just focus all of your energy on winning your contest.”
“Don’t get too excited,” she cautioned. “She really only ever heard them saying disparaging things about my aunt and how it was such a waste that all of this land would go to me. She never heard their schemes about the second will.”
“Don’t worry. Once I speak with Rita, I will have a better idea of how we can use what she did hear in your favour,” I advised.
“I don’t know how to thank you,” Esty exclaimed.
“It’s my pleasure,” I said, giving Esty a hug — she was a big hugger — before walking her out. After Esty left, I sat down to read the letter from Chip.
Dear Joely,
I am so happy to see that you’ve landed on your feet. However, your flight of fancy is about to end since you cannot act on Esty Baxter’s behalf given your prior knowledge of the case. Even if you can stay on this file, you’re never going to win against me. Give me a call so we can settle this little matter between the two of us.
Yours truly,
Chip Hancock
P.S. I want my Rolodex back!”
Chip was from the cock family all right. I shoved his letter into my desk drawer and locked it. If anyone asked me about the letter, I was prepared to say that it was my last paycheque from the firm. There was a second letter that I took from Janice that had a New York postmark but no return address.
Dear Ms. Zeller,
I know things about Mandy and what she did. The second will that gives her everything is a forgery.
I could not believe what I had just read. The letter was typewritten and unsigned. I had to reread the note six times before I realized what it actually said. Given that Rita was already on Esty’s side, I couldn’t imagine who had sent the letter. With a second witness out there in the ether who could help our client’s case, I needed Javier’s expertise to brainstorm and find out who it could be.
“Jav, take this letter. Your mission is to find out who sent it,” I instructed. “Tell no one. Not even Ethan or Coco.”
Javier read the letter and looked up at me in shock.
“Who could our deep throat be?” he asked in amazement.
“Someone who was with Ivana often enough to know the players in this case,” I said. “Look at everyone in the case and ferret out our informant.”
“Will do, Yoely. Listen, I am happy to help you with this case, but you got to control Yanice — she is too much,” he begged.
“I will take care of it,” I giggled. “I don’t mean to laugh, but she really is harmless.”
“Maybe, but it’s not your ass she keeps grabbing. I won’t be able to sit down by the end of today,” he said, frantically smoothing his pants over his rear.
“I’ll speak to her,” I said as Javier left. I sent Janice an email reminding her about workplace sexual harassment. Based on her reply, her former firm was not so rigid about inappropriate sexual touching in the office. Janice advised that she fully understood our policy, but informed me that her ass-pinching habit developed as a reciprocal response to the lawyers who had slapped hers at her old firm. She also reminded me yet again that we still needed a receptionist, so I left Coco a voice mail message to find out how the receptionist/secretary interviews went since we did need someone a little more normal to meet and greet clients.
The following morning, I arrived in the office happy that it was Friday. I was greeted by Trevor, the new face of our front office, whom Coco had interviewed a few days ago. He was an actor in need of a day job and had law firm secretarial experience, so he fit the bill perfectly. After I introduced myself, I asked Janice to show him around and to let him know where all of the supplies were. I caught up on my voice mail messages, which included two from a screaming Chip demanding that I call him back and one from a florist trying to extort more money from me beyond the security deposit he had already kept from my failed nuptials, quickly dampening my mood.
“Breakfast?” Ethan asked, popping his head into my office. From behind his back, he produced a coffee and croissant.
“Lifesaver,” I replied wistfully, taking the tasty treats.
“What am I rescuing you from today?” he inquired.
“Mr. Potato Head and ghosts from my gay fiancé past,” I replied.
“Screw Chip. Flowers or caterer?” he asked.
“Flowers. It seems that despite the fact that the wedding was cancelled with three months notice and my deposits were forfeited per my contracts with all vendors, this fucking florist still wants his full quote,” I said, smoothing my pencil skirt to keep calm.
“It’s a cutthroat business. One wrong step and they’ll take you out with a thorny rose,” he laughed.
“Very funny. You’d think that, being jilted by Yan, I’d have ended up with some fantastic parting gift, like amazing furniture or a phenomenal gay best friend. Instead, Phil the florist is my new stalker. To add insult to injury, Yan took my favourite designer jeans because his ass looked better in them than mine,” I complained.
“You’re better off without him,” Ethan said. “And your ass looks amazing in everything you—”
“Top of the morning, gravediggers! Anyone die on our doorstep last night?” Coco interrupted by bursting into my office.
“Someone’s morbidly cheerful today,” I said.
“Did Lucky die?” Ethan asked.
“No, but he will if he takes another crap in my office,” Coco informed us. “Don’t worry, I have Javier on it.”
“Coco, stop making Javier pick up your dog’s shit,” Ethan demanded. “He may be our junior, but in all other respects he’s our friend.”
“Whatever. I’m just putting him through what I did as a first year,” she replied nonchalantly.
“I doubt very much that you had to clean up dog crap at your hoity-toity firm,” I said.
“Ok, maybe not, but why should he have an easy ride? That man can have the same experience as this woman!” she announced.
“Ok, fine, but no more doggy duty,” I said.
“Fine. By the way, Frito-Lay is on the phone for you,” Coco advised.
“Why is he calling you?” Ethan asked.
“Our new receptionist patched him through to me by mistake,” she said.
“You didn’t actually refer to him as that, did you?” Ethan asked.
“Of course not,” she replied. “I think I called him Miss Vickie’s.”
“We are trying to create some air of professionalism here, Joely, so she really can’t call Chip names, even if he does deserve it,” Ethan said.
“Well, Ethan, I will take your opinion under advisement,” Coco said. “Perhaps when Mr. Hancock doesn’t call me Ming Dynasty, and if he has the sailing mast surgically removed from his misogynistic sphincter, then I will respectfully refer to the ‘Chipmeister’ by his given Christian name. Tata!”
I burst out
laughing.
“I know, Ethan, propriety,” I said. “Please excuse me while I take this call.”
Ethan left my office and closed the door behind him.
“Hello,” I said.
“What kind of bullshit are you trying to pull, Zeller?” Chip greeted me with an angry shout.
“Good morning, Chip,” I said. “This is an early call for you!”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” he asked.
“Well, it’s noon on the East Coast,” I said. “And when I worked there, you never made an appearance in the office before two in the afternoon. I see that my departure has had a positive effect on your attendance. Or maybe that’s why you’re so grumpy? Because you now have to come into work by noon?”
“You’re hilarious, Joely. Why haven’t you replied to my letter or voice mail messages?” he asked.
“There was nothing constructive to reply to,” I informed him with as much maturity and professionalism as I could muster. “I received no legal response to my filing and no notice of appearance at the hearing next week.”
“There’s not going to be a hearing,” Chip informed me. “You’re going to recuse yourself from this case, and Esty is going to walk away.”
“Although you may think that you have some sort of power over me, you don’t. I’m not going anywhere,” I advised.
“You don’t think that the judge at your little hearing is going to kick you off the case and suspend your license to practice law once he finds out that you worked this case for the other side?” he asked snidely.
“Actually, my only contact with this case was attending one meeting with prospective clients who instructed John, Skeet and yourself to keep me off of it, which I noted in a memo to the file. I kept a copy of it in case I needed something to cover my ass,” I said, drumming my fingers on my desk. “Furthermore, I seem to recall that John and Skeet advised the prospective clients that I was merely an employee at the firm and was not a lawyer on the file.”
“Er, um, well, uh, that may be, but the fact that you had access to the file will conflict your sorry little butt right off of this matter,” he said, gradually losing conviction.
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