J K Rowling - [Harry Potter 0X]

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J K Rowling - [Harry Potter 0X] Page 31

by Harry Potter


  It was as if both Harry and Hermione’s jaws had hit the table. Three times! Ron had shagged Luna three times! Including the hand-job, that meant that Ron had cummed four times!

  Hermione looked at Harry and her eyes clearly asked, “Can you cum four times?”

  Harry responded with his eyes, “Not in a row.”

  “Then we were caught up in the moment again in the alley behind the Leaky Cauldron,” continued Luna.

  “And then there was the time outside the twins’ shop,” added Ron.

  “No wonder you’re sore,” Hermione muttered. Harry looked at his friend in shock and awe. Six times... one after the other. No wonder he was almost comatose when he walked into their dorm room last night. Along with the sense of awe, Harry’s confidence was knocked down just a little. He realized, at best, he could do it twice, and then only if he was really riled up. And here Ron could do it six times!

  “To be honest, each time was what I’d call ‘short and sweet,’” Luna confessed. A bit of Harry’s confidence returned - of course it was at the cost of Ron’s self-esteem. The red-haired teen looked like he had just been hit across the face.

  “But of course it doesn’t really matter now that I think about it,” Luna cooed while caressing Ron’s cheek. “I mean, we did have sex for nearly twenty consecutive minutes. I lost count of how many times I orgasmed.”

  “Twenty minutes!” both Harry and Hermione screeched and Ron beamed at his own masculine prowess. Harry knew that he was lasting longer and longer each time he and Hermione were intimate, but twenty minutes! He was lucky if he had lasted five minutes the night before. Harry was equally jealous and impressed with Ron’s stamina and virility.

  “I have to tell you something; witch to witch,” Luna said to Hermione. “When a man ejaculates in your pussy as much as Ronald did in mine, you’d better know a good Cleansing Charm.”

  “This is all my fault,” Hermione wailed. “If I hadn’t tricked you two into thinking I gave you a Lust Potion, you could have talked a little and made a deep connection.”

  “But we did talk and make a connection,” Ron countered.

  “Yeah, they connected six times,” Harry mumbled. “In a row.”

  “No you didn’t. You talked for all of fifteen minutes,” continued Hermione. “Then you shagged like a pack of... a pack of-”

  “Peruvian Short-Tooth Love Monkeys?” offered Luna.

  “Yes!” Hermione agreed - Harry knew that Hermione had no idea what Peruvian Short-Tooth Love Monkeys were or what their mating habits were like, but that she had agreed to Luna’s analogy just to move the conversation, or rather, the argument along. After a second, Hermione continued, “I had hoped you two would have a deep and meaningful relationship; that you’d talk for hours and hours. But you two spent the night shagging each others’ brains out.”

  “But we did talk,” stated Luna.

  “I know you did,” Hermione said with a touch of disappointment in her voice. Harry knew that she was only a little disappointed with Ron and Luna’s actions; most of the frustration that Hermione was feeling was with herself. Harry knew that his girlfriend was berating herself for not coming up with a better plan. “But you only talked for a short while, then you two had sex on one of the tables in the Leaky Cauldron.”

  “But we talked during that time as well,” Luna said.

  “What?” both Harry and Hermione blurted out.

  “It’s amazing what one will say in between thrusts,” Luna stated dreamily. “I feel like I know Ronald completely.” Luna turned to her boyfriend, and looked as if she was lost in his eyes. “His favorite color is orange.”

  “Luna’s is lilac,” Ron said as he too became lost in his girlfriend’s eyes. “I didn’t even know it was a color; I always thought that it was just a flower.”

  “Ronald’s afraid of spiders,” Luna continued.

  “So is Luna,” added Ron.

  “His dream is to coach Quidditch.”

  “Her dream is to prove to the world that Snorkacks really do exist.”

  “The three of you are hunting You Know Who’s Horcruxes.”

  Harry’s heart stopped beating for two whole seconds. He could feel Hermione tense up next to him.

  “She’s so creative with vegetables,” added Ron, oblivious to the fact that his newfound girlfriend just admitted that he had told her a very big secret. “I didn’t know you could do something like that with carrots...”

  “Ronald likes the smell of coffee,” Luna continued. “But he doesn’t like the taste.”

  “You told her?” moaned Hermione while Harry just looked at Ron dumbstruck.

  “Why not?” Ron questioned. “I don’t like coffee.”

  “No, you prat,” Harry chided. “You told her about the Horcruxes.”

  “I did?” Ron asked himself more than anyone else.

  “Yes, you did,” Luna replied. “It was when we were outside your brothers’ shop. You remember, it was when you missed your target.”

  “Oh, yeah,” Ron said sheepishly.

  “Don’t worry, Ronald. They are fairly close together now that I think about it,” Luna consoled her boyfriend with a tender caress of his cheek. “It’s completely understandable that you missed in the heat of the moment.”

  “Luna you’re not supposed to know about it,” Hermione said.

  “Why shouldn’t I?” Luna asked, completely befuddled. “I know for a fact that Ronald missed. It’s my body after all.”

  “No, not that,” Hermione explained. “You’re not supposed to know about Voldemort’s Horcruxes.”

  “Yeah, you can get in trouble,” added Harry. “If Voldemort or his followers know that you know something, they’ll try to make you talk.”

  “Harry, you know as well as anybody, most people simply assume I’m insane,” Luna put in. “Even if I did get caught, no one would bother to listen to me. Besides, I think I can help you. And I want to help any way I can.”

  Pausing, Harry thought on what Luna said. He already knew that she was trustworthy, dependable, and intelligent. She had proven her loyalty and bravery when she joined them to invade the Department of Mysteries. Harry decided that he believed that she could indeed help with their hunt for the Horcruxes. He turned to his girlfriend and with a simple nod of his head, told Hermione that he thought that the notion of Luna joining their group was a good idea.

  “Alright, you’re in,” announced Hermione.

  “Thank you,” Luna beamed.

  The two couples ate in silence for a moment before Hermione’s curiosity got the better of her.

  “Luna, you said that Ron told you about the Horcruxes when he missed his target. What did you mean by that?” Hermione asked.

  “After pulling back too far, Ronald tried to reenter me, but he missed his target,” explained Luna. Both Harry and Hermione were a little confused while Ron was blushing madly. “It was a bit uncomfortable at first, but Ronald seemed to be enjoying himself immensely so I just relaxed. I’m just glad that Ronald’s penis was well lubricated by our juices from the pervious times he plowed my fertile fields, otherwise it probably would’ve been unbearable, if you know what I mean.”

  Harry gulped as Luna’s tail... err... tale became clear while Hermione muttered once more; “No wonder you’re sore.”

  Thankfully, any further revelations of Luna and Ron’s incredibly successful first date were quelled when a hyper-active miniature owl zoomed into view. Harry realized that the bird must have found its way into the kitchen by flying down one of the unused chimneys.

  “Pig,” stated Ron as he tried to catch his pet. “Mum must’ve sent a note.”

  Pigwidgeon zipped past Ron and made a spectacular dive right into the front of Luna’s robes. The blonde witch giggled and thrashed about as if she was being tickled by dozens of feathers - which in fact, she was. By the looks of it, Pigwidgeon was flitting about her overly large breasts, because Luna was involuntarily squeezing her boobs against each other by bringing h
er arms together, jiggling her mounds this way and that, while giggling uproariously. In other words, she was giving Ron and Harry quite a show; even Hermione seemed intrigued - though not as intrigued as the boys. After a very entertaining minute, Luna stilled and said with a glow in her cheeks; “I think he’s asleep.”

  To prove her point, Luna pulled down the front her robes to reveal the small owl resting right in the valley of her cleavage. Pigwidgeon was hooting softly and rhythmically as if he was snoring peacefully. Harry doubted that the hyper owl had gotten tired, more than likely, Pig just really liked Luna’s boobs and had decided to use them as pillows to sleep on.

  “Ronald, aren’t you going to get your post?” Luna asked.

  “W-w-what post?” asked Ron as he stared dumbly at Luna’s breasts. Harry imagined that Ron had a bit a drool hanging from his mouth at the time. Harry had to imagine because he was staring at Luna’s cleavage as well.

  “The post on your owl,” clarified Luna.

  “W-w-what owl?” asked a distracted Ron.

  “They’re huge,” Harry heard Hermione mutter. Apparently, she was just as enthralled as he was.

  “The owl between my titties,” Luna further pointed out.

  “Oh,” mutter Ron, and reached for his sleeping owl. On the first attempt, Ron completely missed the owl and wedged his hand in Luna’s cleavage. He made no effort to remove his hand and left it there for a good ten seconds before he muttered, “Sorry ‘bout that,” in an insincere tone. Luna giggled - and jiggled - as Ron removed his hand and tried to grab his owl. Again Ron missed his target and wedged his hand in-between her boobs - and again, Luna giggled. Harry wondered if Ron’s actions were accidental or intentional. The third time Ron “missed” Pig, Harry’s suspicion was confirmed.

  “Um, Luna,” began Hermione. Harry saw out of the corner of his eye that Hermione was looking directly at Luna’s chest. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but where the hell did those come from?” she asked and pointed a finger at Luna’s orbs.

  “Puberty,” Luna answered simply, while Ron uttered another “oops” when he “missed” Pig again. Before Hermione could clarify her question, Luna explained, in her traditional sing-song voice, “My mother was similarly endowed, and my father often told me how much it vexed her when people assumed that since she had large breasts, she couldn’t possibly be intelligent.” Luna continued to speak in a tone that conveyed the idea that it was an everyday occurrence to have Ron fondle her breasts in front of two people while a tiny owl slept in her cleavage. “Simply because my mother was blonde and had very large boobs, people thought that she was dim; which wasn’t the case at all. So to avoid the same problems that plagued my mother, I merely hid my size with various Glamour Charms once I started to develop.

  “I wanted people to listen to what I say and not focus on my breast,” stated Luna... well at least Harry thought that is what she said. At that time, he was pretty much focused on her expansive cleavage. Yes, Harry did prefer Hermione’s boobs. But Harry was a man, and men tend to be entranced by any set of breasts; large or small. Boobs are boobs and men like them... a lot.

  Luna cooed as she scooped the little owl out from its nesting area of her tits and plucked the post off of his leg. After she retrieved the scroll, she placed the sleeping bird back where she had picked him up. Pig appeared to snuggle into a more comfortable position in her cleavage.

  “You can remove your hand now, Ronald,” Luna requested in her dreamy voice. “But mind that you don’t bother Pigwidgeon, he’s sleeping.”

  Ron dejectedly slid his hand out from his new girlfriend’s cleavage and Luna unrolled the scroll and began to read aloud.

  “Dearest Ron,

  Your sister and I have had a few... conversations over the past few days and I have finally made her see the errors of her actions. Normally, her behavior would merit stern punishment, but her sixteenth birthday is near. And after all, a witch only has one sixteenth birthday.

  Thankfully, I’ve been able to convince your sister to grow up and accept that Harry has moved on. More importantly, she has come to realize that her behavior and actions were unacceptable. To this end, Ginny has given me an Unbreakable Vow stating that she will not make any more advances on Harry or even do anything that might disrupt his current relationship. Would you please extend an invitation to Harry and Hermione to come to Ginny’s birthday party? All the family, as well as a number of friends, will be here.

  Sadly, neither Remus nor Tonks will be able to attend. Tonks will be on patrol and unfortunately, Ginny’s birthday falls on a full moon this year.

  I hope to see you and your friends on the eleventh.

  Love

  Mum

  PS do buy your sister something nice, she’s had a rough few days.”

  “Luna, would you like to come?” Ron asked his girlfriend.

  “Yes,” Luna smiled, “as often as possible, please.”

  “How about you two?” Ron asked turning to Harry and Hermione (apparently Luna’s joke went over his head).

  Harry was hesitant at the idea of attending Gin-Gin the Erection Killer’s birthday party. However, she had given her mother an Unbreakable Vow and if Ginny went against that Vow, she would die. Harry figured that he could get to spend some time with a family that he loved and Ginny would have to behave herself. If she didn’t, she’d die. So, either way, it looked like it was going to be a good day for him.

  “We’d love to,” Hermione answered for the two of them. Harry wondered if Hermione had come to the same conclusion as he had.

  “Fantastic,” Ron heralded. “Let me just send a note back to mum.”

  Ron snatched Pig from his resting place between Luna’s boobs. The tiny owl hooted in protest as Ron scribbled a quick note and attached it to Pig’s leg. Before flying back up the chimney, Pigwidgeon looked forlornly at Luna’s immense breasts and hooted sadly.

  “So, what do we do for the rest of the day?” Ron asked while blatantly looking down Luna’s top. It was obvious to everyone what Ron wanted to do for the rest of the day... perhaps in the nearest broom cupboard.

  “We can discuss the Horcruxes,” Luna suggested and Ron’s shoulder’s slumped. “Maybe a fresh insight would help?”

  “Actually, that’s a good idea,” admitted Hermione. She gave a naughty smile to Ron and added; “And it’s something you’ll enjoy, Ron.”

  As the four friends made their way to the Gryffindor Common Room, Hermione told Luna and Ron about the han... the ritual that would locate hidden or missing items. Luna was genuinely intrigued by the ritual and how it worked, whereas Ron was honestly fascinated by the hand-job. When they got to Ron and Harry’s room, Hermione handed Luna the ‘special book.’

  Luna thumbed through “The Magic of Making Love” while Ron looked over her shoulder. The blonde witch paused at a familiar page in the book and asked; “Whose foot is that by her ear?”

  “This is the greatest book...” Ron breathed. “Ever!”

  “Remember, you’ll have to focus on the Horcruxes. We need to know where the missing one is,” explained Harry.

  “We’ll leave the two of you to it,” Hermione said wickedly, and led Harry back to the Common Room.

  As the couple re-entered the Common Room, a sudden thought occurred to Harry. Now that Ron was happily paired up with Luna, Harry and Hermione’s relationship could move on to the next step; they could have sex. It was going to happen; he was going to make love to Hermione.

  Harry had thought that when this moment came up that he would be eager and willing. But now that it was going to happen, he felt rather nervous and light headed. His hands shook and sweat beads popped up all over his face. Normally, Harry’s moods never affected ‘Harry, Jr.’. His penis was always up and willing even if Harry was in a bad or apprehensive mood. However, ‘Harry, Jr.’ was apparently so nervous about the idea of getting to play inside of Hermione’s womanhood that the poor thing hiked up its overcoat over its head and hid.

  It w
as odd; if someone were to have asked him the day before if he was ready to make love to Hermione, he would’ve shouted to the heavens an impassioned “YES!” But the idea of actually doing it frightened him somehow.

  Hermione must have caught on to Harry’s discomfort - more than likely because she was still holding his hand which was sweating like mad. She cupped his face in her hands and said, “Don’t worry. We’re not going to do the other ritual right now.”

  “W-w-we’re not?” Harry asked nervously.

  “I was waiting to see if Ron and Luna liked each other before I even started making the potion,” she explained. She then added in an undertone; “And boy, do they like each other.”

  “How... how long until the potion is ready?” Harry asked with dread. He was afraid that Hermione was going to say something along the lines of “two minutes” and at that moment, Harry was not ready to lose his virginity.

  “Seven days,” stated Hermione.

  A wave of relief washed over Harry. He relaxed and smiled at his girlfriend. Of course ‘Harry, Jr.’ was still hiding.

  “But that doesn’t mean we can’t fool around,” Hermione said coyly.

  ‘Harry, Jr.’ threw off his overcoat and bounced into action.

  “What did you have in mind?” Harry asked saucily.

  “Well, I’ve only tasted you once to see if my experiment worked,” the naughty witch said as she rubbed herself against Harry’s rapidly hardening organ.

  “How about while you’re doing your experiment, I give you a little...” Harry began and paused as he focused on an image of a snake in his mind. He finished by saying in Parseltongue; “... pleas-s-sure.”

  He took Hermione’s hand and was about to lead her up to one of the other rooms when she pulled him back and pushed him onto the couch. “Wait, what about Luna and Ron? What if they walk in on us?”

  “This coming from the bloke who ate me out right next to Ron last night,” she said playfully. “You weren’t so worried about Ron waking up and seeing us.”

  “But that was different,” Harry argued weakly. “Ron was out cold; there was no way he was gonna wake up. And now Luna’s up there and neither one is asleep.”

 

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