by Layla Hagen
I spend Saturday morning hiding in my room, as the preparations for Mom's yearly themed party take over the house. The guests will arrive in a few hours, and Mom is in a frenzy. I fiddle with my phone, just like I've done since James brought me home from the theater Thursday night. I hope for a sign—anything from Damon. My stomach drops in disappointment when the phone finally chimes. James is calling.
"Hi," I say.
"You could fake being a bit more enthusiastic about my call."
"I'm sorry, I was just hoping Damon would call. He’s not answering his phone."
"You didn't get to talk to him at school yesterday?"
"He wasn't at school, James. I hoped he’d call me, but he completely bolted on me." I take a deep breath. "And Mom and Dad are far too calm about everything. It freaks me out." When James dropped me off at home Thursday night, I was expecting a full-blown fight and got silence in return. It’s not unusual for my parents to ignore me, but since they're against Damon, I was expecting a reaction. I don't get an answer from James. "Have they told you anything?"
"Just that they've got it handled."
My stomach drops. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I honestly don't know," he says. Dread overcomes me, settling over my shoulders with a crushing weight.
"Do you think he had any more trouble with the police?"
"No. The police arrested Gabe only. He'll be going to jail for some months, maybe a year."
"How do you know this?"
"Because I'm paying a lawyer to make sure he gets the jail time he deserves."
"And you’re sure there are no charges against Damon?"
"Positive."
"I don't understand why he didn't come to school then." I curl up on my bed, hugging a pillow tightly to my chest. It does nothing to calm me, but I need to hold on tight to something as I feel my love slipping away from me. "He hasn't even called, James."
James huffs into the phone. "What are you doing dating someone like him, Dani? A fighter?"
"He's not even fighting that much anymore. Look, it's not as bad as it looks. "
"Really? He's involved with people who are into things much more illegal than fighting; you don't even want to know. I've talked to Mom and Dad. I know you're doing worse at school."
"You talked to them about me?"
"Yeah."
“They are overreacting. I just got one C in one class—”
"Look, I know how you feel about him."
"Don't do this, James. Please."
"I've had a first love; I know how it feels. But sometimes, it's best to let go." Hot tears sting the corners of my eyes. "He's not good for you, Dani."
"Let's talk about something else, please. Why are you calling?"
"I...er...met someone last night."
"Shocker," I murmur, too low for James to hear me.
"And I've spontaneously invited her to the party today."
"You what?" This is a shock. "James, Mom is going to kill you. You know she makes a fuss about knowing the final number of guests at least a month before."
"I'll deal with Mom. Just make sure she gets in and you find her a dress." Since it's a themed party, everyone brings their costume, but Mom keeps a few as reserve, in case someone has an emergency. "I have some last-minute things to do at the office, and she'll be there before me."
"What's her name?"
"Serena McLewis."
"Let me get this straight. You met her yesterday and today you're inviting her here?"
"Correct."
"Why? You've never brought a date to any of Mom's parties, and God knows there will be enough chicks you've already banged here, willing to do you again. You don't need to drag another poor girl into all of this."
"I'm not sure I like the way you are talking to me." He laughs softly. God, I love my brother. "When did you become so cheeky?"
"Truth hurts, brother. Answer: why did you invite her?"
"Just felt the right thing to do."
At a loss for what to say, I just tell him goodbye, assuring him I'll take care of her. I desperately need something else to think about besides Damon. If this Serena will bring my brother the love he deserves, then I'll make sure she looks breathtaking. What was it that Hazel's mom always said? The way to a man's heart is through his nose. First take his breath away, then steal his heart. Excellent advice. Unless he breaks your heart first.
***
The party is still in full swing by the time I head to my room, but I have no energy to keep going on. I did all right being Serena's guide before James took over. Now he's doing a fantastic job—at least I think he is. They disappeared from the party hours ago, and his car is still here. This means they're in one of the bedrooms of this house.
I fish my phone out of my purse when I reach the door to my room. There is no call or message from Damon. At this point, I don’t know if I’d answer even if he did call. I’m too annoyed.
When I open the door, I intend to head straight to my bed and collapse in it without even changing. But my bed is already occupied. Damon is sitting on the edge, staring at a flyer in his hands, apparently unaware I've just entered the room. Dread creeps under my skin almost immediately. Something is wrong.
"Damon. How long have you been here?"
"Two hours, maybe three." His head snaps up to me, my insides melting when I meet his gaze. He looks like I did before I smeared three layers of makeup on my face: like he hasn't slept at all since we last saw each other.
"Why didn't you say you were here? I waited for you to call." I'm still at the door, afraid to take another step. Whatever brought him in this state...I'm not ready to face it.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't sure if I'd stay here long enough to see you."
"Damon, you're not making sense." Slowly, I walk toward him. "What's going on?"
He rises abruptly, jamming the flyer in the pocket of his jacket. "Will you take a walk with me?"
"Okay. Just give me a few minutes to change."
"Don't. You look perfect."
I raise an eyebrow. I’m wearing a white, extravagant dress which was appropriate for the theme of the party, but will look silly outside. Damon seems oblivious to that.
"I'll just grab my coat then; it's chilly outside. We can use the main entrance. There are so many people downstairs, no one will notice us."
Chapter Twenty: Damon
We walk in silence for ten minutes before she finally breaks it. "Where are we going?"
"There’s a planetarium a few blocks away. We're almost there."
"Are we trespassing?" she asks, worry coloring her voice. My heart sinks. The fact that Dani even has to ask this is the last straw. They're all right: her parents, my asshole father. They're wrong in a million other things, but not about this: I am not right for her.
"No."
"I haven't been to this planetarium in a few years, but I'm pretty sure it's not open at three o'clock in the morning."
I take the flier out of my pocket, showing it to her. "It is today. Special night."
"Okay."
I can tell by her wide eyes that she's still waiting for me to explain my behavior. Like the coward I am, I can't find the words to do so. She'll figure it out on her own...I hope.
When we arrive at the planetarium, the man at the reception gives me a skeptical once-over, then ogles Dani's dress.
"What's this, Lady and the Tramp?" I'd punch him if his comment wasn't so ironically spot on. "We're closing."
"On the flier, it says it's open for another hour," I counter.
"I'm closing early. Management thought this would be a brilliant idea. It's been a bust. No one's shown up after twelve o'clock."
"Great. Then we'll have the place to ourselves."
"I didn't say you could go in." He slams his fist on his desk, looking at us angrily.
"What will management say when they hear you've turned down your only customers?"
That shuts him up, and Dani and I go up the stairs, following
the signs. I expected to watch stars or some similar shit, but instead, we end up in a room that looks like a movie theater. It becomes dark when we sit down, and images of constellations are projected on the screen, while a voice plays in the speakers, explaining what we're seeing. It's only when I look sideways at Dani that I realize this sends the wrong message. Looking at stars, even fake ones, is something romantic. I'm about to break her heart.
"This is so cool." Excitement laces her voice. I'm doing this all wrong. I should just tell her. But then a new constellation is projected, and I can't bring myself to spoil the moment. I almost forget what tonight is about when the voice mentions Canada. It's like someone dropped a bucket of ice on my head.
"Canada," I whisper, almost hoping she won't hear me. She does, though; I can tell by the tiny quiver in her fingers, like she knows what I'm about to say. My fingers burn with the need to touch and soothe her, but I can't. If I do, I won't have the strength to tell her, let alone get on that plane tomorrow. "That's where I'm going." I don't look at her as I spell out the words, but I hear her harsh intake of air. It cuts through me like a knife.
"You're leaving," she says. I feel her looking at me, and I can't bring myself to turn toward her. I keep looking up as if the damned sky is the most interesting thing I've ever seen in my life.
"My father enrolled me in a boarding school."
"Starting when?"
"Monday."
She chokes out the next word. "No."
"He told me yesterday." I grab her hand gently, rubbing the soft skin of her inner wrist with my thumb. She's shaking badly.
"Your dad couldn't have arranged this so quickly."
"He planned it before."
"Maybe we can talk him into changing his mind." Her eyes are brimming with a tiny bit of hope. I can't stand taking that away from her.
"Trust me; there is no talking him out of anything."
"Let's run away." Her words are like a punch in my gut. They physically hurt.
"No, Dani. That's not what I want for you. You have everything mapped out. You will graduate and go to college in England. I won't take that away from you." For a split-second, I think she’ll burst into tears. Her eyes are all glassy, and she's holding her breath. Dani surprises me like she always does. She doesn't cry.
"Okay, well, that's not so bad, really. There are just three months of school left. You can come to England as soon as you graduate. I'll wait."
"You deserve someone you don't have to wait for. A guy who doesn’t fight, who doesn’t get busted by the police. You could've gotten hurt on Thursday."
The voice in the speaker booms louder, startling both of us, but we don't pay any attention to what it says.
"You want to leave." Her voice shakes.
"I don't know," I say honestly. "I'm just not sure about anything anymore."
"Not even about me?"
"I love you, Dani." Gripping her shoulders, I turn her until we're facing each other. "I am sure of my feelings for you, but not about anything else." She means everything to me; she must know that.
"What happened on Thursday—”
"Is a prime example why good girls shouldn't fall for bad boys. I'm not the guy for you, Dani. Not now, anyway. Maybe someday, when I get my shit together, I will be."
"Damon..."
I kiss her more forcefully than I ever have. I know it's one of the last times I'll get to, so I make it count. Tears stream down her face, making me hate myself for it.
"Stay, please," she murmurs when I pull myself back.
"I can't. My plane leaves tomorrow at noon."
"If you can't stay, then promise me you'll return as soon as school finishes."
She's shaking badly, so I pull her tight in my arms, inhaling the scent of strawberry coming from her hair.
"I promise I will return when I'm able to love you the way you deserve," I say.
"I just want you to promise me you'll come back."
"Only after I get my shit together."
Pulling away from my arms, she says, "I don't want—”
"Just let me finish, okay?" My voice is undependable, but this is it. If I don't say this now, I won't say it at all. I've thought about this since he told me he's sending me away, repeating the words over and over in my head. "When I met you, I was on a cliff, Dani. Thanks to you, I didn't fall over the edge, and I'll never be able to repay you for that. I'm grateful to you, and I love you, but I need to figure everything out on my own."
There was more I wanted to say, but I can't bring myself to, not when she looks at me with wide, fearful eyes, begging me to stop. I kiss her again, and in this kiss, I try to put everything I can't say, because we'll both break. This girl did more for me than she'll ever know. She saved me, and I don't want to repay her by ruining her life. I make myself the promise to return for her. I know this isn't a high school crush, because I’ve had enough of those. This is different, stronger; I'd bleed for this girl.
"Your hour’s up. Out."
The idiot's voice forces us apart, and Dani discreetly wipes her tears away. We walk back to her house in silence, our fingers intertwined. When we reach the gates, I fully intend to kiss her one last time and leave.
Then she says, "Spend the night with me," and I know I will.
Chapter Twenty-One: Dani
The party hasn't died down when we return, but there are fewer people around. If we walk through the front door, my parents could see us. We climb in my room through the window, like we did the first night he came here.
"Dani, are you sure about this?" Damon asks once we're inside.
"Yes."
"I don't—”
"Shh, no talking. No goodbyes." I look him straight in the eyes until he nods.
I fumble with the lace at my back, trying to open my dress, but I pull at the wrong end and it becomes a tangled mess. It doesn't help that my fingers are trembling.
"Here, let me do that," Damon says, but his hands tremble slightly, too. He's better than me at this and before long, my back and shoulders are exposed. He kisses my neck then continues down my spine, leaving a trail of fire on my skin. A shot of breath heats my skin when he pushes my dress down my waist. "You're not wearing a bra," he mutters more to himself than me, continuing to kiss my back, one of his hands traveling to my chest. I gasp when he cups one breast, grazing my nipple with his palm. Then he promptly turns me around. My first instinct is to cover my breasts, but he catches my wrists mid-air, shaking his head. His green eyes locked on mine, he tilts his head down, taking my nipple gently between his teeth. I draw in a lungful of air, hyper-aware of the wetness pooling between my thighs. It's the most erotic moment of my life. Not breaking eye contact, he pushes the dress all the way down, and I step out of it.
Damon lays me on the bed, kissing me, sliding his arms around me in a tender embrace. His lips tug at mine, prompting delicious impulses through my body. Gradually, his kisses become more demanding. He lures them out of me with a vengeance, claiming each one with more desperation. His hands roam over my hips and thighs, awakening every cell in my body, infusing his desperation in them until I burn for him with such an intensity it almost hurts. I fist his hair, guiding his lips to the places that demand to be touched and kissed. I want to be touched. God, I need it so. When Damon cups my breast again, it almost sends me over the edge. His lips trail down my chest, my stomach, stopping right below my navel. He remains there, blowing hot breaths on my oversensitized skin. All I can concentrate on is the fact that his fingers linger close to the hem of my panties. Next, he slides his tongue up my inner thigh toward my lace thong. Unexpectedly, he places his lips right on the spot where the fabric is wet. I groan in response, and I feel him smile against me. His hands find their way to the hem of my underwear, and he peers up at me as if asking for my permission. I give a silent nod, my palms suddenly sweaty.
"Do you want me to kiss you here, Dani?" He strokes me once over the part of my panties that I completely soaked through, reducing me to shu
dders.
"Yes," I barely whisper. I sigh when he removes the panties, his cheeks touching my inner thighs. Then he kisses the skin there gently, going higher and higher, stopping at the juncture of my thigh and my intimate spot. His lips rest there while his fingers touch my wetness, coaxing a whimper out of me.
"Fuck," he growls. "Dani."
He touches me gently again, prompting tremors to spread in my entire body. "Damon, please." I’m pulsing with life, with the need for him and his touch. When his tongue lashes against my intimate spot, I fist the sheets, moaning harder than I ever have. He continues the delicious ministrations, every lap of his tongue threatening to send me into overdrive, spurring a million sensations that build up and up and up until I can take no more. The pit inside me grows mercilessly. His tongue should please me. Instead, I grow more insatiable. My breath hitches as a new sensation ratchets through me, starting from somewhere very deep inside me.
"Don't stop," I hear myself pleading. My hips buck forward, driven by a will of their own and a devastating need. I feel one of his hands cupping my breast with greed. He holds my nipple between his fingers, twisting it gently while swooping his tongue across my clit, spurring tremors out of me. Then he does something that is both torment and relief. He dips his tongue slightly inside me while his upper lip rests on my clit. The movement of his tongue drives me restless—in and out, in and out—daring me to imagine how it would feel like if he made love to me. Release shoots through me, racing like lighting, consuming me. I desperately grab the pillow next to me, bringing it to my mouth and biting into it as Damon delivers the stroke that brings on the ravaging orgasm.
I lay with my eyes closed and breathe in deeply when I feel Damon's lips traveling upward until he reaches my neck.
"This was incredible," he murmurs.
"Yes." As he kisses me, I become aware of his erection pressing against my thigh. It strains against his pants, and Damon pushes himself against me, prompting a groan that reverberates from deep inside my chest. The spot between my thighs is soaked anew, a deep craving awakening. Damon stills, his breath wheezing out of him.