by Liz Eeles
Chapter 34
I need to know if the choir singing Mum’s special song was a coincidence or not but getting Josh on his own after the concert is proving impossible. Members of the audience keep talking to him and saying lovely things about the concert. And they congratulate me, too.
‘I wasn’t sure if this was a good idea.’ Mr James has nabbed another Solero from somewhere and it’s dripping over the worn flagstones. ‘I thought you were poking your nose in where it wasn’t wanted but I have to admit that was very touching.’
‘It was a lovely tribute to my Ted and I’m proud of both you and Josh,’ says Marion, coming up and putting her arm round my waist. ‘I have to go because Lucy and Serena are going out but I wanted to say how good it is to see you again, Annie. I hope we’ll see you again soon.’ She waves at Josh, who’s talking to people in the corner, and bustles out of the church.
‘You came back then.’ Cyril appears at my shoulder with the plump lady behind him. ‘This is my daughter Susan who I told you about.’
Susan steps forward and shakes my hand. ‘It was marvellous to see Dad out and about again and singing, too. I’d never have thought it. Thank you for getting him involved, it wasn’t good for him stuck in that tiny cottage all day and night. I was worried about him but he’s too stubborn to move up and live near me.’
‘I can hear you, you know,’ says Cyril grumpily, though he doesn’t look particularly cross. He shuffles up close. ‘I know I can be a crotchety old bugger so thank you for not giving up on me,’ he murmurs just loudly enough for me to hear. ‘I’ll see you at the next rehearsal.’
I need to leave the church after that to have a little cry, which is why I’m now waiting outside for Josh like a groupie at a Justin Bieber gig. Though I might have to rethink my hiding place. Hiding in the shadow of the church tower is obviously not working because people keep waving at me. It doesn’t help that a huge moon has risen in the inky sky, lighting up the graveyard with a cool, silvery light that makes skulking rather difficult. And for once, there’s not a Cornish cloud in sight. Typical.
I slink further back into the shadows when Pippa and Charlie wander past. They chat excitedly about the concert while I press up tight against the rough stone wall. This is ridiculous. Nabbing Josh in full view would be far more sensible, but I need a private word with him. Hopefully I’ll get the chance before I’m arrested for suspicious loitering.
At last, the few remaining members of the choir burst through the church door into the stone porch, laughing and joking. Josh is among them, in shirtsleeves with his jacket slung over his shoulder, and I kick myself for thinking I could get him on his own. This is all a big waste of time but now it’s too late to move without being spotted.
‘Right then,’ says Ollie, linking his arm through Kayla’s and pulling her out of the porch. The others follow them along the path. ‘Are we all retiring to The Whistling Wave for a well-earned pint? Roger, the drinks are on you, mate.’
‘Dream on,’ grumbles Roger while I try to stay out of sight, already hot with embarrassment at the thought of being discovered skulking. ‘Just ’cos I run a pub doesn’t mean I’m made of money.’
‘Not if my wages are anything to go by,’ shouts Kayla indignantly and everyone cheers when Josh offers to buy the first round. I can add ‘generous’ to the list of Josh’s attributes that are fast outweighing his bad points.
Kayla is closest to me when the group gets nearer and looks so happy, snuggled up to Ollie with her head dipping towards his shoulder. Suddenly she stops dead and gives the side of her head a cartoonish slap. ‘Duh! I’m really sorry, Josh, but I think I might have left a window open in the vestry. What am I like?’
Roger groans and carries on walking but Josh turns on his heel towards the church and pulls a large key from his trouser pocket. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll go and check. It won’t take a minute.’
‘We can come with you,’ says Ollie cheerfully.
‘No we can’t,’ insists Kayla. ‘I’m desperate for a drink so let's walk on and meet Josh in the Wave, Ollie. Josh won’t mind, and that lovely refreshing beer won’t drink itself.’ The prospect of a pint proves too much for Ollie, who shrugs and allows himself to be led off towards the pub.
‘Over to you, Sunshine,’ murmurs Kayla out of the corner of her mouth as she passes by. She’s got bat-like radar, that one, or she can see in the dark. Either way, she’s separated Josh from the rest of the herd and now it’s up to me to pounce, if only I didn’t feel sick with nerves.
For the next few minutes I shuffle anxiously from foot to foot until the church door slams and Josh walks along the path. He resembles a vampire with moonlight glinting on his black hair and his jacket flowing behind him like a cloak. A dangerous, sexy vampire. Stepping out of the shadows, I stand directly in front of him.
‘Josh, can I have a quick word please?’
‘Jeez, Annie.’ The heavy key falls from his hand and clatters onto the path. ‘Not content with almost drowning me, are you trying to give me a heart attack now?’
‘I didn’t mean to alarm you.’
‘Then can I suggest you don’t leap out at people in deserted graveyards.’ He shakes his head as he picks up the key and drops it into his trouser pocket. ‘Are you here to have a go at me for making you conduct the first half? The choir was your idea so it was only right that you took part in the concert. You only had the songs that you knew.’
‘I’d have appreciated some warning but no, I don’t want to talk about that. I want to know if the last song the choir sang was a coincidence.’
‘What are you talking about?’ His voice carries in the cool air.
‘Was it a coincidence that the choir sang that old music hall song at the end? Only it was my mum’s special song.’
Josh smiles. ‘Yes, I know.’
‘How do you know?’
‘You were humming it in the car when I took you back to Alice’s one time and you mentioned it was your mum’s favourite.’
‘But it’s ages old and I don’t think I said what it was.’
‘You didn’t.’ Josh steps closer. ‘But fortunately Miss Arnott’s drama club at school was staging an old-time music hall so I recognised it. The song’s quite distinctive.’ When he takes another step towards me, a fresh tang of cedar wood and lime mingles with the graveyard aroma of damp moss.
‘It was lovely of the choir to sing it.’
‘Roger was absolutely delighted to be singing about being in love with a bloke.’ The corner of Josh’s mouth twitches. ‘He said he wasn’t homophobic but he’d never been that way inclined.’
I grin at the thought of Roger’s discomfort. ‘Why did you get them to sing that song?’
‘For your mum. She had a connection to the choir through her dad, so it seemed appropriate.’
‘Even though both of them were dreaded Trebarwiths?’
Josh shrugs and his white shirt gleams in the moonlight. ‘I wasn’t thinking much about that at the time.’ He opens his mouth as though to say more but shakes his head.
‘Well, it sounded lovely and I appreciate it, especially as you weren’t sure I’d be at the concert to hear it.’
‘I didn’t think you were ever coming back but it made me feel closer… um,’ he trails off, sucking his lower lip between his teeth.
‘Made you feel closer to what?’
Josh lets out a weary sigh and his chin drops to his chest. ‘To you. Yes, I admit it. I like you, Annie. A lot. God knows why because you’re far too London-y.’
‘Is that even a word?’
‘Probably not. But you’re like a breath of fresh air around here. I felt as though I was stagnating, living with my family and back where I grew up, but I’d accepted it and I was OK and then you arrived and churned everything up. But then you were gone again, without a word, back to your real life. And I don’t even know for sure what you think of me, after the lies you were fed by Toby. Oh, this is pointless.’ He tries to push past me but I
place my hand on his arm. Heat radiating through the thin cotton warms my fingers.
‘I think quite a lot of you actually,’ I whisper, my mouth too dry to get the words out properly.
‘Really? Even though I’ve been so rude about your family? I’ve been angry for so long,’ he says wearily, pulling his arm away from me and dropping his jacket on top of a gravestone. ‘It eats me up that Toby is off living his life with no responsibilities while I’m eking out a living with my family and clearing up his mess. Not that we’d want to be without Freya. We love her, but it’s hard sometimes.’
‘I’m sure it is, and of course you’re angry when you’re supporting your family and Toby is living it up in London and being such a – such a free spirit.’ Which is what I want to be. Oh, come off it, Annie. It’s what I wanted to be once; before Alice and the Salt Bay Choral Society, and this difficult, interesting, vulnerable man got under my skin and hinted at a different kind of life. A life with responsibilities and roots, and love that lasts.
I shiver and Josh drapes his jacket over my shoulders, the soft black fabric settling around me like a hug.
He takes a deep breath and says softly, ‘When I started having feelings for you – which were terribly inconvenient, I might add – I couldn’t get past the fact that you’re a Trebarwith and related to Toby. But he left you to drown in the flood while he rescued a damn painting. I couldn’t get that out of my mind and the more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realised that family means nothing to Toby so why should it matter to me? You, he and Alice share a surname but that’s all. I’ve been angry at the wrong people. I’m sorry.’
A bat swoops low over us and up towards the top of the church tower.
‘And when I started having feelings for you – which were equally inconvenient, I might add – I couldn’t get past the fact that you’re tied to Cornwall and I was frightened to think that might happen to me. I know it’s ridiculous to be scared of my family but I’ve never had a proper one before. It was always just me and Mum and we never let anyone else in.’
Josh grabs hold of my hand and holds it against his face. ‘I know, but do you think you might take a chance and let me in? I know I can be grouchy and I keep everything locked up inside, and Lord knows you can be incredibly irritating and thoughtless and—’
There’s only one way to shut him up. Moving forward until our hips are touching, I stand on tiptoe and press my lips against his. He flinches in surprise but then his arms go round me and we’re kissing as if our lives depend on it, among the gravestones of the dead.
‘Wait, wait.’ I push the palm of my hand into the middle of his chest, breathing heavily.
‘What now?’ His pupils are so dilated his eyes look black.
‘I have trust issues, apparently.’
‘Me too,’ says Josh drily, giving a sexy smile. ‘How about we work on them together?’
We kiss again for ages and it’s even better than the first time in Alice’s garden. I’ve never felt like this about anyone and I want the kiss to go on forever but Josh pulls away.
‘Oh God,’ he says, with a pained expression. ‘I suppose I’ll spend half my life on the train now, visiting you in London.’
‘Would you come to London for me?’
He shudders but grins. ‘Yes, I would, because I guess it’s not such an awful place if you’re in it. For some strange reason, Annabella Sunshine Trebarwith, I want to be wherever you are.’ And he smiles down at me with such warmth, my breath catches in my throat.
Slipping my arms round his neck, I press against him and rest my cheek against his. ‘That’s terribly kind of you but I think I might stay in Salt Bay for a while, to help Alice get back on her feet, and so I can get to know my family.’
‘What about your job?’
‘There’ll be other jobs.’
‘What will Toby think?’
‘I don’t care. We share a surname and that’s all.’
A slow smile spreads across Josh’s handsome face. ‘What changed your mind?’
‘You and Alice, the choir, horribly wet Cornwall, all of it. And realising that belonging to people and to places isn’t as scary as I thought it was.’
There’s more I could say, about having roots and mattering to people who matter to me, but I don’t get a chance because Josh’s hands are in my hair and he's kissing me like nothing else matters in the whole wide world.
Chapter 35
Six weeks later
Josh pulls hard on the wheel and manoeuvres his Mini into a tight parking space near an ancient oak tree with a thick trunk. The leaves are throwing dappled shade across the bonnet and will help to keep the inside cool until we get back. It’s still May but Cornwall is having a heatwave and emmets are out in force.
I open my window a crack to help keep the temperature down, though I don’t suppose we’ll be long. Alice reckons about thirty minutes at the most. Thirty long minutes. I pick a piece of fluff from my smart jeans and wonder whether a skirt might have been more appropriate this morning. A long skirt. And a hat because I couldn’t possibly feel more nervous if I was about to have a cuppa with the Queen.
Alice has picked up on my anxious vibes and been quiet all the way to Polrugan, apart from giving Josh directions. Or maybe she’s also secretly dreading what we’re about to do. That would explain why she wanted to wait a few weeks to do this, until she felt properly up to it. Even though she’s recovered remarkably well for an elderly woman with health problems, she seems more fragile these days and I worry about the long-term effects of losing her home. Tregavara House is drying out nicely in the sea breeze but it’ll be a while before she can move back in.
Leaning forward, I pat Alice reassuringly on the shoulder and attempt to sound jaunty. ‘Here we are at last. Stay where you are and Josh can help you out.’
‘Your wish is my command,’ says Josh, looking over his shoulder and giving me a wink. ‘Stay put, Alice, I won’t be a sec.’ It’s sweet how protective he’s been towards Alice since the flood, and he offered to be our taxi service this morning and pick Alice up from Penelope’s.
Yes, the elusive Penelope does exist! I’ve met her several times now Alice has moved into her spare room, and I like her a lot. I expected her to be posh and snooty; a human version of Lady Penelope from Thunderbirds. But surprise, surprise, it turns out that judging people purely on their name isn’t a terribly good idea. In the flesh, Penelope is short and cuddly with a frizz of grey curls and her untidy house smells of warm bread and an elderly spaniel called Dickens. He’s permanently spread-eagled on the living room rug and can hardly be bothered to lift his head to greet visitors. Living for a while with Penelope and Dickens is just what Alice needs to get back on her feet.
‘Give me your hand,’ commands Josh, opening the passenger door and stooping down to Alice’s level. ‘And be careful when you’re getting out. I’ve lost count of the number of people who’ve brained themselves in this car, including me.’
He gives Alice the slow smile that’s becoming so familiar and my stomach does a flip. When his friends and family remark that he’s smiling far more these days, he says it’s because of me. And every time he says it, I kiss him so he’s taken to saying it a lot. Especially when we’re lying so close in his double bed I can hear his heart beating.
Fortunately his mum has been brilliant about me moving into their cottage until the work at Tregavara House is finished, and I’m slowly getting used to being part of a big family. The lack of personal space takes some getting used to and Serena playing Justin Timberlake at top volume is doing my head in. But the way they all look out for one another and the easy ribbing between them has come as a pleasant surprise. It’s what being part of a proper family is all about, I suppose.
After helping Alice, Josh folds the seat forward and holds my hand to help me clamber out of the Mini. His next car is so going to have four doors. And electric windows. And a roof that doesn’t leak when it rains.
‘Are you su
re that you’re all right about this, Annabella?’ asks Alice, leaning on the walking stick I’ve persuaded her to start using permanently. The wooden stick is stained lime-green and has parrots painted on it, but Alice was never going to choose something boring.
‘Of course, I’m fine. After almost thirty years it’s about time I met my grandmother.’
Josh is standing behind me and gently squeezes my shoulder to give me courage. He knows how I’m really feeling because we talked about it as the pale dawn light filtered through his curtains. He knows about the anxiety, anger and guilt that are jumbled up in my head and overshadowing my excitement at finally meeting Sheila – the evil woman I thought was dead who turned out not to be evil at all. Or dead, for that matter.
Alice frowns at me. ‘And you’re all right with us not telling Sheila who you are.’
‘Yes, I understand. Please don’t worry.’
‘She doesn’t always know me these days and I can’t remember the last time she mentioned your mother. When I’ve tried to remind her about Joanna she gets distressed, though I’m not sure whether that’s because she remembers, or because she can’t. It wouldn’t be fair.’
‘I know, Alice. We’ll play this however you think is best.’
‘Talking of which,’ interrupts Josh, ‘I’ll wait here for you two and meet Sheila another day. Meeting a grandmother for the first time is special and just for Trebarwiths. You don’t need a Pasco sticking his nose in.’ Sliding his arm round my waist, he pulls me in close and murmurs, ‘Is that OK? Like we decided this morning?’
When I nod, he puts his hand under my chin and gently tilts my face before kissing me on the mouth. Josh always closes his eyes when he kisses me, even brief out-in-public kisses. I know this because I’ve been opening my eyes a fraction to check; not because I’m some sort of kissing-police weirdo but because Stuart always kept his eyes wide open and look how that turned out. The cheating swine was probably checking there wasn’t someone more fanciable nearby.