He fell silent for a moment, but Cassie could hear that his voice was thick with emotion. She looked into his face and saw tears shimmering in his eyes. But Damon knew how to control his emotions. He held onto them with an iron fist.
And as she looked at him, the emotion she'd seen vanished. He was back in control of himself and his emotions. As he thought back to that terrible night, his face became blank. Devoid of any emotion whatsoever.
Cassie remained silent, not wanting to press him any further. If he wanted to tell her the rest of the story, she figured that he would. But she wasn't going to force him to. Cassie hated the fact that she'd dredged these memories up in the first place. It wasn't what she'd been expecting. He looked at her and gave her a small smile and then surprised her again, by finishing his story.
“Eventually, things calmed down in the house. I remember that I was in the living room watching TV and my mom was on the couch reading a book. My dad had been in his bedroom for like hours. I should have known something was wrong. Or that something was going to happen.”
“How could you have known?” she asked. “You were a kid.”
He shrugged. “I just feel like I should have. I remember hearing the bedroom door open and him walking down the hall toward the living room. I remember being afraid, but hoping that everything had blown over like it always did. Anyway, I looked up just as he stepped into the living room and I couldn't even comprehend what I was seeing. He was holding his pistol, the one he'd brought home from the service. I don't even think my mom had bothered to look up, she was probably just ignoring him and wishing him away like she always did, but he raised that pistol and fired five times. Killed her.”
“Oh Jesus, Damon. Oh my God.”
“I remember being in total shock,” he said. “I couldn't move. Couldn't speak. Couldn't react in any way whatsoever. I just sat there and looked at him. Looked at the smoke coming out of the barrel of the gun. Looked at the body of my mom and seeing all that blood. Then my dad looks over at me and he's got this big fuckin' smile on his face, like he was the proudest man on the planet. And I'm never going to forget what he said. He says, 'Never let a woman disrespect you in your own home, kid. If she does, it's up to you to put her in her place.'”
Cassie didn't know what to say. She didn't think there was anything she could say. So she just wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. His body was stiff and cold at first, but eventually, he melted into her embrace.
“Ever since that day, I guess I've had something of a pathological hatred of abusers,” he said. “That's how I knew what was going on with you that first night. You didn't have to tell me a word. I just knew.”
“I'm so sorry, Damon.”
He shrugged again. “Nothing for you to be sorry about, babe. It was a long time ago.”
We sat there in each other's arms for a good, long while. Eventually, that blank, emotionless face melted away and the Damon she'd come to know and love returned to her. But there was something different in his face that she couldn't quite place. Maybe opening up and talking about it had lifted a weight off of him. Cassie wasn't sure. But as he sat there looking into her eyes, for the first time since she'd known him, some of the darkness within him that was a staple of his being, seemed to have faded away. It didn't disappear completely, she figured that some of that darkness would always be with him, but it had faded. If only a little.
“You've got yourself a good man, Cassie.”
Carl looked at them, giving them both a soft smile as he stepped out onto the porch with a mug of coffee in his hand. She hadn't heard him walk out and didn't know how long he'd been standing behind them. She didn't know if he'd heard what Damon had told me or if it was a story he already knew. He probably did.
Cassie nodded. “I do. A very good man.”
Carl looked at Damon and nodded. “And you've got yourself a good woman there.”
“Yeah,” Damon nodded. “I do. I'm a lucky man.”
Carl nodded and grinned at them. “Then when are you two planning on making this little thing between you official? I mean, if Cassie's going to be one of us, don't you think you should make an honest woman out of her and make her your old lady?”
For the first time since she'd known him, Cassie saw color flare up in Damon's face. He was actually blushing!
“Yeah, I thought about it,” he said.
Her heart leapt into her throat and she smiled. She had no idea where she'd fit into Damon's life or if he saw what was happening between them the same way she did. The warmth and happiness she felt when he spoke was intense.
“And?” Carl pressed.
“And it sounds like a good idea to me,” he said. “If she wants to be my old lady.”
Cassie laughed. “Of course I do.”
Carl smiled as Damon leaned over and sealed the deal with a kiss.
***
“Clutch,” Damon laughed. “Hold he clutch down before you shift gears.”
Cassie let out a startled scream when she tried to put the truck in gear only to hear it grind like she was torturing it.
“The pedal on your far left,” Damon instructed. “Press it down and then put the truck in gear.”
It had been three months since Damon had officially made Cassie his “old lady” though he confessed to her that he hated the term and simply referred to her as his girlfriend instead. Damon was pure biker through and through in a lot of ways, but he was also a pure gentleman in many other ways – ways that really counted.
He was sweet. Considerate. Caring. He did all of those little things that made Cassie feel special. She couldn't remember a time in her life when she'd been happier. And she'd become a part of the club. She was accepted there. Welcomed. Embraced. Cassie didn't feel like an outsider anymore. She now knew and understood what Damon was talking about when he'd said that the Dragons were his family.
It wasn't always sunshine and roses of course, but Cassie knew that if the chips were down, they were all behind her. It was a good feeling. A nice feeling. She rather liked not having to worry about being burned, beaten, or stabbed for overcooking a steak. She liked knowing that she was protected. Cared for. And a valued member of the group.
“I'm pressing the far pedal on the left and it's still making that terrible noise!” she couldn't stop laughing.
Damon shook his head but laughed along with her. This had all been Carl's idea. He wanted Damon to teach her how to drive the club's crash truck. The hope was that she'd never have to be called into service, but if one of the guys ever went down, it was her job to take the truck out there and retrieve the bike.
Or, would be her job if she ever learned how to drive the damn thing. They'd been out there for a few hours each day for the last week and she was still struggling. She was frustrated and irritated. Carl and Damon laughed it off, but she was frustrated. Wanted to be able to do this, to contribute to the club in some small but meaningful way.
“Okay, stop for just a moment and take a deep breath,” Damon said.
Cassie did as instructed and closed her eyes, taking several more deep breaths and let them out slowly. she was calm and relaxed, ready to try again. She put my hands on the wheel and opened my eyes.
“Okay, remember,” Damon said. “You press and hold the clutch. Then you put the truck in gear. Then you slowly take your foot off the clutch and press the accelerator at the same time. But keep it all very slow and very smooth.
She did as he instructed and the truck slowly moved forward. It didn't jerk and stall like it had so many times before; it actually began to go smoothly! She drove it about a hundred yards before following his instructions and stopped it just as smoothly.
She turned to him with a wide smile on her face. “I did it! I did it!”
“Yes you did,” Damon said. “Great job, babe. I knew you could do it.”
Cassie threw her arms around his neck and kissed him, marveling at the turn of events that had brought her to where she was. Life had a funny way of get
ting you where you needed to be. She needed to be out of her terrible, abusive relationship. But she'd never had the courage to leave on her own. Damon entered her life at just the right time. He helped Cassie find her courage and strength – and then everything else seemed to fall into place.
Life was a funny thing, and for the first time ever, life was a good thing. A very good thing.
THE END
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