by Lotus Rose
The team welcomes him back, and they return to the Road, traveling toward what comes next, which they hope is when they shall get to meet the Wizard of Oz.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
“CONGRATULATIONS!” ELISHA shouts and giggles, as a large green castle appears in front of them. “You have completed the Yellow Brick Road’s situations, and it’s time to meet the Wizard of Oz. He shall grant each of you one of his gifts.”
“I assume that’s his castle?” Sleepy B says.
“Correct,” Frank says. “It’s called the Emerald Palace, reasonably enough. We shall take you to his visitors room.”
“Is he expecting us?” the Jabberwock says.
“Of course,” Elisa says. “The Road keeps him aware of whenever anyone completes it.”
Hatter says, “Can we get through our visit fast enough to leave before Dorothy and that knight catch up with us?”
Elisa giggles and says, “Not if we stand here yapping all day! Come on!”
The two guides lead them to the main front entrance to the castle. Two munchkin guards wave them in while smiling. It’s all very casual, and none of the fortifications are up—Malice thinks they must not be at much risk of being attacked. As the team makes its way through the halls of the castle, various fancily-dressed munchkins go about their routine activities.
After about ten minutes of various maneuverings, the guides lead them to a set of large oak doors at the end of one of the hallways. Two munchkin guards holding halberds stand at attention.
“We’ve been expecting you,” says one of them.
From behind the doors booms a loud, deep voice, only slightly muffled by the thick wood: “Send them in!”
So the guards pull the doors open, and the team steps into the large room, which houses a floating orb.
Their munchkin guides stay behind in the hallway. Fred says, “Goodbye and good luck,” just before the doors slam shut again, and Malice and team are left staring in awe.
They stand in a glorious, ornate hall that’s like a throne room, except there is no throne. The floors are of shiny, gleaming marble. A line of columns are on both sides of the long red carpet, which leads to a large, glowing blue orb that’s crackling with electricity at the end of the room. The orb floats in the open space between two parted royal red stage curtains.
The voice of the orb booms around them: “Greetings, puny Road travelers!...and behold! I am the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz!” Its presence is so powerful and encompassing, that its voice seems to emanate from various points throughout the room at once.
Hatter proclaims, “Oh, great Awesome” (he pronounces it, “OzSome”) “Doom Ball Wizard Orb, we are come seeking you to bestow your gifts upon us, as if this were Christmas, though it not be.”
“Eh?” booms the orb. “You’re mental. But, for traveling to the end of the Road, I shall grant you each one gift. Approach, you minuscule group of peons!”
As they walk the red carpet, Humpty and Sleepy B are both noticeably trembling.
The orb is even more fearsome up close. It hums and crackles with a sound like static electricity. Bursts of sparkles flare up along its surface, like fireflies, and, this close, its eerie blue glow makes Malice want to shield her eyes.
“So who shall be first to receive my gift of the augmentation of their bodies? I can alter age, give brains—or eliminate madness within them—provide courage, or install hearts. I can even grow a new body for you, cat, and a new head for you, caped man.”
“Amusing,” says the Jabberwock, “but I wish to grow a new jabberwock body to match my head. The Horseman body should be returned to Reginald, the owner, so that my rental charges don’t add up.”
“Ha ha!” the Wizard laughs, a bit stiffly, yet quite thunderously. “I was just kidding you. Of course I can grow you a new body, though it might start out a bit small. And I can return your rented body to its rightful owner.”
“Oh, my goodness gracious,” the Jabberwock says. “That would be truly wonderful.” His voice quivers with emotion.
“Quite,” the Wizard says. “And how about you, Cat?”
“Ohhhh no, I’m just an observer, not a participant. Besides, I already have a body, which is safely kept away in its own location—I just choose not to use it.”
“Oh, you’re no fun,” booms the Wizard. “So, I shall give you each one gift, except for the feline, then send you on your way, so I can get back to my important work. So who amongst you shall receive your gift first?”
The teammates all exchange glances. Malice says, “I shall go last. Because, as Queen, I should like to see everyone served before me, in this instance.”
“That’s most cordial of you,” says the orb. “So, you shall be last, but who then, goes first?”
“It would take a brave boy to go first,” Sleepy B says, while offering a coaxing look to Humpty.
And Humpty receives the look, seems to contemplate for a few moments, before his facial features tighten into a firm expression, and he says, “I shall go first. I’ll be the guinea pig, so that none of you shall have to be, for you are all my dear friends.”
“You’re a right good bloke,” the Jabberwock says.
“Yes, you’re very sweet,” Malice says.
“Very well,” booms the Wizard. “There is a circle drawn upon the ground, there. Stand inside it, so that I may use my anatomical augmentation device on you.”
There is indeed a circle of blue paint painted on the floor. Hatter and Sleepy B are both standing partially inside it, so they clear the way.
Humpty steps inside the circle.
The orb says, “Are you aware of the various possible choices for your gift?”
“I am.”
“Excellent. Then, what would you like?”
“I should like to acquire courage. If it’s not too much of a bother.”
“What would you think, if I told you that you had courage inside you all along? In fact, the fact that you bravely volunteered to go first, only illustrates that.”
“Well...” Humpty seems to be holding back.
“Be brutally honest,” the Wizard prods.
“I would think, ‘Well, bugger me. What a rip off.’ Of course, I wouldn’t say that out loud.”
“But you just did. And that fact, only further proves that the courage which you seek, was inside you all along!” He bursts out laughing. “Sorry, just messing with you again! Of course I’ll give you courage, lad. I’ll augment the portion of your brain that handles fear to make you braver. Watch.”
A cylinder of white light rises up from the circle, completely blocking Humpty from view. About ten seconds go by and the light vanishes.
Humpty says, “Thanks. I feel braver already.”
“Do something brave, Humpty!” Sleepy B says.
“There shall be plenty of time for that later,” the Wizard says. “It is time for you to go on your way. I am told you travel to Jabberwock Valley. I shall send you all there via my portal.” A glowing, roughly elliptical glow of light appears in the air next to Humpty. “Merely step through the portal and you shall arrive just outside of Jabberwock Valley. I shall send your friends after you, once I have given them their gifts.”
“Very well, and thank you,” Humpty says, before stepping through the portal, and disappearing from the room.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
“WHO’S NEXT?” SAYS THE Wizard.
The remaining team members exchange awkward glances.
“How about Jabby!” Sleepy B says.
“Oh, no,” the Jabberwock says. “Ladies first.”
“I’m no lady!” Sleepy B replies. “And I insist! Don’t argue!” And she points unarguably at the circle on the floor, next to which the portal still glows and floats.
“As you wish.” After the Jabberwock steps inside the circle, the Wizard says, “And what would you like for Christmas, little boy?”
“Huh?”
“He’s joking, Jabby,” Sleepy B says.
“Normally someone can’t regrow a body from a head, but I have figured out a way to do so. I can stimulate the cells to grow at an accelerated rate. Even so, it shall take some time to reach full size. I have been informed of the location of that body’s head—I’ll send the body there, through the portal, before I send you to join Humpty.”
“Excellent,” the Jabberwock says. “I’m profoundly grateful.”
That cylinder of light shoots up once more...several seconds pass.
When the light shuts off, Malice gasps at what she sees. The Jabberwock’s head is out of its holster, resting atop the body of a jabberwock toddler—the Horseman body stands to the side.
Sleepy B shouts, “I’m so happy for you, Jabby! Hey, you’re shorter than me!”
Jabby sticks his tongue out playfully at her, then grins big.
“Don’t worry,” the Wizard says. “You’ll grow quickly. Make sure to stay well fed. Now send the body through the portal and it shall reappear on the bone mansion doorstep.”
After doing so, the Wizard tells the Jabberwock to step through the portal. After he toddles through, the rest of the team is left deciding who shall go next.
Hatter bows at Sleepy B and says, “Beauty before madness.”
Sleepy B doesn’t argue and hastily steps inside the circle. “I would like a jabberwock body, and not only that, but a jabberwock head as well. But can I keep the hair?”
“What if I told you, that the jabberwock nature that you so desperately seek has been within you all along?”
“I would say, ha ha, very funny, but please don’t tease.”
“I’m afraid I can’t give you what you ask for.”
“What?! Why not?”
“It’s simply impossible for me to do that for you. Please select another gift.”
“No fair!” She stomps her foot. “You gave Jabby a new body!...”
“Do you forfeit your gift?”
“Arrgh! Fine. I’ll choose something else. They say you have the ability to raise people’s ages?”
“Yes, or lower it. It depends on how old you are to begin with.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can change a person’s age to around the age of consent—either one second over or one second under. But their age shall stay the same, permanently...”
“Why is your gift so focused around that specific age?”
“There are very technical biological reasons having to do with hormones and such, and the nature of magic used. I use a mixture of science and magic. Quite boring really.”
“Oh, fine. I’m currently 11, and everyone thinks of me as a sweet little girl, though I feel much more mature on the inside. So I should like you to raise my age to over the age of consent, so they can no longer treat me like a little kid! And then—”
“Very well,” the Wizard says, as the cylinder of light shoots up and cuts off the rest of Sleepy B’s words.
The seconds pass and the light recedes, to reveal the new Sleepy B. But Malice actually can’t tell any difference from the Sleepy B of just a few minutes ago.
“You look the same to me,” the Cat blurts out in his typically-insensitive manner.
Sleepy B looks down at herself. “I do?”
“I’m afraid you do,” Hatter says.
“Nevertheless,” the Wizard says, “I have done as you asked. You are now one second above the age of consent for your kind.”
“My kind?! What are you even talking about?!” She presses her hands to her chest. “My chest hasn’t even developed! I can’t tell any difference in my body.”
“Well that’s not my fault,” the Wizard says. “Now please step through the portal so that you can join your friends, Humpty and Jabby, I believe you call them.”
“But I was swindled, ripped off, and I want a refund!” Sleepy B shouts, with a stomp of her foot at the end.
Malice says, “Don’t make a scene, love. At least you gave it a go, aye? Think of Jabby, though. He got himself a new body, so be happy for him. You can go talk to him. Go on, and walk through the portal and go talk to Jabby, eh?”
Sleepy B’s back straightens. “Quite right. I’m so happy for Jabby. In fact, this whole situation grows tiresome, since I would so much prefer talking to him right now, and congratulating him with kisses! So, adieu, suckers!” And with that, she briskly walks into the portal whilst waving her temporary goodbye, and yet another team member disappears from the room, leaving behind only Malice, Hatter, and the Cat.
Malice says, “Well, it looks like you’re next, Hatty. And remember, I adore your quirky, whackadoo crazy mind.”
“I find your illogical behaviour quite amusing as well,” the Cat adds.
“Thank you both.” He steps inside the circle. “I’m ready to open my present now.”
“What would you like?” the Wizard says.
“I hear tell that you can give me new brains, as it were.”
“Yes, I can increase certain neurons in the brain, or augment certain structures. Sorry, I’m getting technical again... I can make you smarter, or I can cure your madness, if you wish.”
“I could be an ordinary boring sane person?”
“Hatty, no...” Malice whimpers.
He looks at her. “Don’t worry, love. I just wanted to know exactly what it is I shall be turning away.” He turns back to the orb. “For I don’t wish to discard my madness, when it is something that I cherish so. No, it is another gift I desire. See, before, on the Road, I was afraid of love, and wanted to avoid it, forever. But when Not-Malice’s head fell off past her heels, I realized the true power of love—it is like an inevitable, decapitating force that cannot be avoided. So, much like my madness, I choose to embrace love, for if I can’t avoid it, I shall instead pursue it with gusto—in fact, I hope to fall madly in love, with someone who can cherish how madly I do so.”
“My, what a speech,” the Wizard says. “Is there someone in particular you had in mind?...” he says teasingly.
The Cat picks up on the teasing. “Perhaps a girl who is a queen, whose name perhaps begins with an ‘M’?”
Malice feels her cheeks growing warm from a blush.
Hatter avoids looking at her as he says, “There was a girl who used to be completely off limits for me. If only she were older, I’d tell myself...but she wasn’t, so I put all thoughts of a relationship with her out of my mind, because such an affair would be highly improper. But today, hope is renewed for me, for I have the opportunity to lower my age to more closely align with hers.”
“Oh, Hatty!” Malice gasps, and presses her hand to her chest. “But I have a new heart...”
“I know,” he answers. “You can’t make any promises and you don’t wish to lead me on, and if you felt any romantic love for me before, it is gone now. I know all this, and I am willing to take my chances anyway, in my pursuit of true love. Know that I don’t hold you under any obligations. After all, even if I don’t get my wish, it won’t be so bad to be young again. And so, Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz, I respectfully request that you lower my age to one second above the age of consent.”
As soon as he completes the sentence, the expected cylinder of light surrounds him for several seconds.
The light vanishes and Hatter turns around. He has a huge smile on his face as he meets Malice’s eyes. He’s younger, thinner, his clothes lower on his frame.
“So whaddya think?” he says.
“You’re cute. Do you have a girlfriend?”
“Not yet. Maybe someday.”
“Maybe,” Malice says, with a quirky grin.
“You look much less distinguished,” the Cat says to Hatty.
“Thank you.”
“Please exit through the portal,” the Wizard says.
“I’ll see you on the other side, Maly.” He waves before exiting through the portal.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
“WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE it’s my turn.” Malice
steps into the circle.
“And what shall your gift be?” the Wizard says.
“Well, I’ve been told that I may have some sort of latent sexual powers that are set to explode when I reach the age of consent. I’m also told that once that happens, my powers might combine with Dorothy’s and ripple outward, causing disruption throughout the land.”
“You don’t say!” the Wizard says.
“Yes, it seems a bit far-fetched, but it’s also scary as heck, and I’d prefer to avoid such dramatic events if I can. And so I choose to have my age permanently increased to one second before the age of consent, to make sure none of that messiness ever happens.”
From behind her, Malice hears a female voice shout, “What?! Wait!—”
When Malice turns around, she sees Dorothy and the Tin Knight rushing toward her—the pattering of Dorothy’s high heels and the clanking of the Tin Knight’s metal body echo loudly.
“Alice! What did you do?” Dorothy shouts.
Malice’s view of the scene disappears, as she is completely blocked off from the outside world within the blindingly bright cylinder of light. She feels tingly electricity coursing through her body, warming her, and making her hair rise, filling her ears with a buzzing sound that drowns out everything else.
Due to her anticipation, it seems as if time is dragging on, but as the seconds pass on, she realizes that she wasn’t imagining it—her session is definitely taking longer than the sessions of all the others. She stands waiting, worrying and wondering—she can’t hear or see anything outside the cylinder of light, and some sort of force prevents her from moving her limbs.
Malice judges she has been standing there for over a minute, when the light disappears and she is once again presented with the view of the hall—she doesn’t see Dorothy or the Tin Knight (or the Wizard, for that matter, since the orb is behind her).
Something is wrong—bright light still shines below her eye level. Before she can look down, she hears a male voice behind and to her left, say, “There. Now, please punish me, Mistress. I’ve been a naughty boy.” The voice sounds similar to the Wizard’s, but it’s much softer, and seems to come from only one direction—from behind the curtains. It all strikes Malice as most perplexing, and she tries to turn around to look, but finds that she can’t move her body nor her head. Now she takes the moment to look down—she can’t lower her head, but she shifts her eyes downward to see that cylinder of light is still there, extending from the floor to the middle of her chin, keeping most of her prisoner in its grips.