Pulling on her straw hat to shield her eyes from the sun, Abby walked slowly down the long, country road to the other side of the pond, where she was certain life would be much easier for her.
****
Caleb scattered feed for the chickens as he watched the barefoot Englischer walk down the lane toward their farm. Who was she, and why was she walking toward him with a funny look on her face? He watched with a laugh in his heart when she struggled to keep the oversized straw hat from blowing off her head in the breeze. She seemed to look lost as she looked around her, and then set her eyes back on Caleb. Walking up the long path toward his home, he noticed a sense of determination in her that he’d never seen before. She didn’t look much older than he was, but the suitcase she toted carelessly at her side suggested she thought she was old enough to be on her own.
As she approached Caleb, she examined him from head to toe, and then let her eyes wander to the surrounding farm.
Caleb stepped in her path. “Are you lost or running away?”
Abby stopped scanning the property and set her eyes on Caleb. “Both. Do you know where I can find Jacob Yoder?”
Caleb pointed behind him. “He’s in the barn. What do ya want with him?”
Abby set her jaw upward. “That’s private.”
Caleb watched the girl walk toward the barn and disappear in the shadow of the open doorway.
****
Abby walked cautiously toward the barn and entered through the open door. She hoped she wasn’t in the wrong place, assuming the young farm-hand had steered her in the right direction. As she approached a man mucking out one of the horse stalls, she examined him from the short distance that separated them. On his head was a straw hat like the young boy was wearing, and his clothing was the same style, but he didn’t have the beard she’d witnessed the Amish men his age wearing when she and her mother rode through town yesterday in their cab ride to the B&B.
Taking a brave step forward, Abby cleared her throat to get the man’s attention. He looked up and leaned against his pitchfork. “Excuse me, Sir. Can you tell me where I can find Jacob Yoder?”
Jacob stepped out of the stall and set aside the pitch fork to close part of the distance between them. “I am Jacob Yoder. Who might you be?”
Jacob took another step forward.
“I’m Lizzie’s daughter.”
Jacob pulled of his hat and blew out a heavy sigh.
“Lizzie Miller?”
Abby set her suitcase down and moved toward the horse that seemed anxious for her attention. “That was her name when she was younger, but she changed it when she left home. At least that what she told me, but she’s been keeping some secrets from me my whole life that I’m just now finding out—like where my father was all this time.”
Jacob looked into the girl’s eyes. He could see Lizzie in them, and it scared him that she could look just like her mother did when they had attended school together.
“I’m not sure how I can help you. What is your name?”
Abby reached up and touched the horse nickering for attention on his soft nose. “My name is Abby, and my birth certificate says Jacob Yoder is my father. When I heard my mom and Aunt Bess talking this morning about you living here, I decided to come here and let you be a father to me. I’m mad at her for lying to me, and I don’t want to go back there. She is expecting me to be Amish just because she is.” Abby fanned out the skirt of her white sundress. “I like wearing my own dresses, not the itchy Amish ones that she made us wear when we came here so Eddie’s thugs wouldn’t find us.”
Jacob looked behind him at the milking stool and collapsed onto it before he lost his balance. He knew he hadn’t fathered Lizzie’s child since they had never been intimate, but he wondered why she would name him as father on the girl’s birth certificate. He couldn’t think straight. “Who is Eddie? And why are his thugs looking for you? Are you and your mamm in some sort of danger?”
Abby continued to stroke the horse on the nose.
“Eddie is this mean guy that used to come over and hit my mom and make her give him money, but he’s dead now. He crashed mom’s car. But now his thugs came over and told mom to give them the money Eddie owed them. That’s why we dressed in the Amish clothes to come here and hide from those men. They had a gun.”
Jacob took in a deep breath, trying to digest the little girl’s ramblings. He wasn’t so sheltered that he didn’t know what the word thug meant. He also knew the danger of having unsavory characters looking for Lizzie and this child—the child who seemed to think he was her daed.
**********************
CHAPTER 7
**********************
Bess poured a third cup of coffee, emptying the pot. “Should I brew another pot of kaffi?”
Lizzie shook her head. “I’m good. If I drink any more I won’t sleep later.”
Bess sat down across from Lizzie and stared into her cup. “Do ya plan on going home, Elizabeth?”
“Do ya mean to see my daed and bruder?”
“Jah. You haven’t been shunned. It’s not too late.”
Lizzie stood and began to pace the small kitchen, despite her aenti’s prodding to sit back down. “Ya don’t understand. I won’t be welcomed back into the community. Mine would be considered the longest running rumspringa in the history of this community. Besides, you’re forgetting I had a child out of wedlock.”
Bess stood beside her and placed loving arms around her. “If ya confess all that to the Bishop, he will baptize you. Gott himself doesn’t hold that against you; how can the elders hold it against you that Eddie drugged you and compromised you? And now he’s dot, so in the eyes of the elders, they may consider you a widow.”
Lizzie sighed. “I think you’re giving them more credit than what they’re due. The elders and the Bishop will not be so quick to overlook my transgressions.”
“Then give a general confession, and the rest will be our little secret—and between you and Gott, of course.”
Lizzie hugged her aenti, grateful for her discretion. But there was just a little bit more to her story that she needed to reveal.
“When I found out I was pregnant, I moved to a small, unincorporated community in Ohio named Barlow. I chose the community because it reminded me a little of the Amish community. Once I settled in, I legally changed my name to Lizzie Barlow.”
Bess crinkled her brow. “What was the significance of the name?”
“I chose the name Lizzie because that’s what Jacob always called me, and I was still very much in love with him at the time.”
The confession brought tears to Lizzie’s eyes. Though the mere thought of Jacob filled her with regret, she knew if she hadn’t left, she wouldn’t have Abby. Besides, she would never have been able to bear watching Jacob court and marry Nellie Fisher if she’d stayed. Her life had not been easy since she left home, but maybe that was all about to change.
****
Jacob stood on wobbly legs. He had no idea how he would explain to this child he wasn’t her father, but the worry on the forefront was Lizzie. He was already way behind in his chores, and would need to complete them before he could take Abby back. It didn’t seem likely that he would be able to convince her to go back on her own, and he worried that Lizzie would be frantic over her disappearance—especially given the story that she’d relayed to him about the danger they may be in. But the truth of the matter was that he didn’t have a phone to call her at the B&B, and a small part of him hoped Lizzie herself would show up on his property to claim her dochder. Though he was eager to see her again, he was more than a little disturbed by Lizzie’s actions. They had put him in quite the predicament.
Jacob faced Abby and cleared his throat as if the act could somehow give him the words to say to her. “My son Caleb is in the yard feeding the chickens, but I can assume he’s moved on to the pigs by this time. Would you like to go out and help him so I can get a few things finished here, and then we can sit in the house and mayb
e have some lunch before we go have a talk with your mamm—I mean your mom?”
Abby took a small leap backward and squealed, leaving Jacob searching for a snake or a spider. “I don’t want to go back. She’s trying to make me Amish and I don’t like it.”
Jacob chuckled. “I’m Amish, Abby.”
Abby’s eyes filled with tears. “Then it’s true. I’m Amish and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“Being Amish is a very gut thing, not a bad thing. Didn’t your madder tell you that?”
“You mean my mother?”
Jacob nodded.
“She never told me we were Amish before yesterday. And she didn’t tell me anything about you. When I saw my birth certificate, I asked her about the name, and she just said that was the name of my real father. Every time I tried to ask her anything about you, she would turn all sad, and sometimes she’d cry. So I stopped asking her.”
Jacob’s heart sank. How could he tell Abby the truth when she’d been told he was her vadder? This was Lizzie’s mess, and she would have to be the one to get herself out of it.
Abby looked up at Jacob, tears streaming down her face. “How come you never came looking for me?”
Jacob searched for the right words. “I’m sorry you’re upset Abby, but I didn’t know anything about you either until you showed up here on my farm.”
Abby cried harder. “But you’re my father, you should have known about me!”
Jacob looked up when movement in the doorway caught his eye. Caleb entered the barn, and circled Abby.
“Is she my schweschder?”
Jacob stood between them. “This is not your business, Caleb.”
He ignored his father. “Is your mamm dot too?”
Abby crossed her arms. “Will you guys speak English around me, cuz I don’t understand your language.”
Jacob felt distraught over Abby’s lack of knowledge of her heritage. “Didn’t your mamm teach you the Amish language?”
“I already told you. She told me yesterday she was Amish, and that I am too. She’s never talked like that, but I heard her say some funny words to her Aunt Bess.”
“My son wanted to know if your mom was still alive.”
Abby turned to Caleb. “She’s very much alive. Why would you ask me such a thing?”
Caleb’s gaze fell to the ground. “Because my mamm is not. She died when she was birthing me.”
Abby gulped.
Caleb looked at his daed with hopeful eyes. “If she’s my schweschder, does that mean her mamm will want to be my new mamm?”
Jacob looked at his son sternly. “Halten Caleb.”
Abby’s eyes grew wide. “He wants my mom to be his mom?”
Jacob ignored her question. “Caleb, take Abby into the haus and get her some lemonade, and then get back to your chores. When I finish in the barn, I’ll hitch up the buggy, and we will take you back so I can have a grownup talk with your mom.”
Both children obeyed Jacob’s orders, and skipped up to the house, leaving him with a lot of conflicting thoughts.
**********************
CHAPTER 8
**********************
Lizzie yawned and leaned back in her chair to get a better look at the kitchen clock. “I should go check on Abby. If I let her sleep any longer, she’ll be wired the rest of the day. And I won’t be able to get her to sit still long enough to talk to her about everything.”
Dragging her feet up the stairs, Lizzie felt the weight of her day already slowing her down. She was not looking forward to having to explain everything to her daughter, who was already starting to rebel against her. If she wasn’t careful, she would drive her child away even further, but if she continued to sugar-coat the truth, she would never have her daughter’s respect.
Lizzie opened the door to the room they shared and noticed Abby’s bed was empty. Scanning the room, she immediately noticed Abby’s small suitcase was no longer on the floor in a disheveled mess where she’d left it. Knowing she’d warned her daughter to put it away in the morning or forfeit her breakfast, she peeked into the closet to see if it was tossed carelessly in there or if she’d closed it and put it away neatly like she was asked to do. Alarmed by the empty space were her daughter’s suitcase should be, Lizzie’s heart skipped a beat. Immediately dropping to the floor, she pulled up the dust-ruffle to search for it under the bed.
It wasn’t there.
Lizzie threw back the covers of Abby’s bed, but still, nothing.
There was no trace of Abby left in the room.
Lizzie’s heart slammed against her ribcage as she practically flew down the stairs to the kitchen. Out of breath, she found her aenti still sitting at the table savoring her last cup of kaffi.
“Abby’s gone!”
Bess pushed the chair behind her, stepping forward to steady Lizzie. “Sit down and take a deep breath and define gone.”
Lizzie allowed the woman to guide her into the chair she’d been comfortable in just moments ago. “She’s not upstairs. Her suitcase is gone. We have to go look for her.”
Bess straightened her apron and held a hand across her ample breast. “She’s on foot, so she couldn’t have gotten far. Let me call the surrounding people with phones in their barns and ask them to start searching for her. Your daed is the furthest out on the main road…is it okay if I call him?”
Lizzie didn’t have to think about it. “Yes! Call him—but don’t tell him details—only that the daughter of a guest is missing—please, aenti—I don’t want him to find out about his kinskind in this way.”
Bess nodded while Lizzie ran out to the barn to begin hitching the horse to her aenti’s buggy. She was confident she remembered how to hitch up a horse, but more than that, she needed something to keep her hands busy while Aunt Bess made the phone calls. She wouldn’t allow herself to think beyond her daughter’s obvious reasons for running off. She’d lied to her about a lot of things, and she understood the child’s tantrum. But with danger lurking over their heads because of Eddie, she feared for her daughter’s safety more than ever. Trying desperately to think logically, she knew they had gotten far enough away, and in a remote enough place that it was highly unlikely that the thugs would be able to track her down, but she knew that even as cautious as she was about leaving no trail, they could still find her.
Grateful that the gelding was patient with her nervous fumbling of the harnesses, Lizzie was able to hitch the horse fairly quickly. Just as she finished, her aenti was out the door, draping a shawl over her shoulders, and hoisting herself into the buggy. Lizzie climbed up beside her and took the reins, and slapped them gently against the gelding.
****
Jacob worked quickly, knowing that every minute that Abby remained on his farm was another minute that Lizzie would be worried about her dochder. Unfortunately, it just couldn’t be helped. He had a cow to milk and animals to feed before he could take her back. The rest of his chores could wait until later, but the animals couldn’t wait for their grain.
His mind drifted to his younger days when he was courting Lizzie. He remembered how angry and hurt he was that she’d sent her eldest bruder, David, to break off their relationship as if it had meant nothing to her. He’d intended to marry her—to have a familye with her, and grow old with her. And now she comes back to the community with another man’s kind, trying to claim he’d fathered her. He would be excommunicated from the community if the elders were to discover this, and it would ruin his reputation as a trusted member of the community.
A small part of him wanted to hold onto the memory of Lizzie when she was young and innocent of the ways of the Englischers, but that was next to impossible with evidence to the contrary that had invaded his own home.
****
In the house, Abby was amazed by the things Caleb continued to point out that their dad had made. Every piece of furniture was carved to perfection. And the solid wood banister on the stairway tempted Abby to slide down it. It was a fine house in
deed, and Abby hadn’t even noticed the lack of televisions or other electronic equipment.
The “tour” was contained to the downstairs rooms, but Abby’s favorite room was a sun porch with a fireplace and two cozy rocking chairs. Her mom used to rock her when she was younger, but they had been forced to part with the one piece of furniture with any sentimental value when her mother decided to move them here. A renewed sense of anger welled up in Abby, but she quickly pushed it aside, realizing she was beginning to miss her mom.
****
Lizzie steered the gelding toward the main road, lost in her thoughts. Too many emotions attacked her at the moment, and she feared she would not be able to contain her composure much longer. She chided herself for thinking that coming to the Amish community would solve her problems. But running away seemed to be what she did best. And now, it seemed, she’d passed that trait onto her only child. Abby had left willingly—packed her suitcase and left. She wondered if this is how her daed had felt when she ran away from home nearly eleven years ago. Lizzie feared for Abby, who was much younger than she had been when she left. She wasn’t capable of taking care of herself in dangerous situations. Although, to be honest, she hadn’t been either, or she wouldn’t even have had Abby in the first place.
Lizzie pushed aside thoughts of the past. She had to find her daughter, and even the fear of seeing her daed and brieder for the first time in eleven years couldn’t compare to the fear she held for her boppli.
Jacob's Daughter: Book One Page 3