by BL Craven
“He’s been getting weird lately.” Alison broke my concentration.
“What do you mean?”
“More aggressive, louder. It’s like he was sweet one moment then had a ‘roid rage hulk moment and went off the deep end.”
“Yeah,” I finished for her.
“Let’s see if we can get him some help. It sounds like more than a fall off a horse.”
“Yeah,” I repeated.
Two sets of headlights started down the long driveway, one of them flashing the emergency beacon. Behind that, was the pizza delivery boy, Tony? I think. The pizza dude stayed in the truck until the ambulance left and only then door opened.
“Are you Alison?”
“Yes.”
“Tony had a last minute order, so he sent me. He said he owed you a pizza for last time I was late. Sorry,” the kid said, sheepishly.
“You weren’t that late.”
He laughed. “Forty five minutes late. I won’t let it happen again.”
“Okay, you do that.” She took the pizza and handed it to me. The box was hot and fragrant, the smell of sauce and spice tantalizing my empty stomach.
We walked back to the cabin, took our boots off, and each sneaked a piece of pizza before setting the table. I had joked about going to find beer somewhere on the ranch, but I was almost done in after the fifth slice of pizza; my eyes had started to get heavy. I knew I’d need a shower tonight, but for right now, maybe I’d just enjoy sitting back and resting my eyes…
The screen door slamming shut brought me awake, and the first thing I reached for was the rifle, which I’d leaned against the wall. It ended up that the only thing I accomplished was scaring the hell out of Jackson, Ali, and Sandy, who’d all walked in, chatting softly.
“Oh shit, I promise, I’m not here to sell Avon,” Sandy said with her hands up.
I let out a deep breath and lowered the gun. Shit!
“It’s been one of those days,” I admitted.
“I heard about it. Actually, that’s why we’re here. I heard from my nephew.”
“Owen, the deputy?” I guessed.
He nodded, his face somber. I rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock, shocked that three hours had passed.
“Why’d you let me sleep that long?” I asked Alison, noticing that the pizza had been put up and the table cleared. I was puzzled and fuzzy headed.
“Oh, I tried to wake you up. You were chasing the white rabbit pretty deep, and you snore.” She poked me, and I jumped.
“Dammit, Ali. So what’s the news on Tim?”
“They did an MRI to check his head for injuries,” Jackson started.
“And found a large growth,” Sandy finished after Jackson paused too long, unable to finish the thought.
“He had a brain tumor?” Ali asked, shooting me a shocked glance.
“Something like that. He has surgery in the morning, about 10am. Owen said you might want to know in case you want to stop in. Said you were on the fence about pressing charges, even after what he did to you.”
“How bad is it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Damn. Okay, well, do you guys want some pizza?”
“No, we ate. I called Ali and she said you were sleeping and couldn’t be woke up, so I figured I’d wait till later and tell at least one of ya. This isn’t something that should be done over the phone if you can help it.”
“This is horrible. No wonder he was acting so strange.”
“We were wondering if you’d bumped your head yourself, missy. No one could figure out what you saw in him until Cameron filled me in on what you were trying to do. You don’t need to do that.”
“I know that now. I was just trying to help the family.”
“That’s all noble, but this isn’t the 1800s anymore.”
“That’s what I said,” I broke in.
“SHUT UP,” all three of them yelled. I threw up my hands in surrender.
“Can I get the day off tomorrow, boss?” I asked.
“You heading up there?”
“Yeah, thinking about it. There’s more than one way to mend a fence.” I watched the girls roll their eyes at my bad pun.
“You don’t work for me, do what you want.”
“Appreciate it,” I said, smiling at the gruff tone that’d taken me a year to decipher.
We said our goodbyes, and I hugged Sandy before they were gone. Alison was quiet, and when I asked her if she wanted to sit up and read she just shook her head. I couldn’t get her out of her funk and figured she wanted to be left alone for a minute, so I grabbed a change of clothes and hopped in the shower.
I didn’t take long; I knew the water heater was small so I hurried so Ali could have a hot shower too. Just like that, I was tired again. One thing I’d learned from war, was when it’s all over, you sleep when you can because the nightmares will keep you up.
“Shower’s ready for you. Do you want me to stay up and keep you company?” She just shook her head.
“You're sleeping in the bed tonight,” she said in a strange tone and grabbed a robe I’d held out for her. We’d stop at the big house tomorrow and get her some clothes, I mentally noted to myself.
Then it hit me, she wouldn’t need to be here after tonight.
“Shit.”
I sat on the edge of the bed for a moment in my boxers and T-shirt, then slid under the cool covers that smelled faintly of strawberries and vanilla. I would have smiled, but she wouldn’t need me after tonight. She wouldn’t need me to protect her. Tim had a tumor and wouldn’t be a bother to her any more, no matter how things turned out.
The water stopped in the shower, so I knew she would be out soon.
I’d protected her the best I could, and something about her made me want to throw caution to the wind for the first time in my life. I was actually feeling a sob building up inside of me. After tonight, would she even feel the same?
I heard her in the next room padding around, getting ready for bed.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she said, closing the door before I even realized she’d slipped in.
“Want to talk?”
“No,” she said, and in the blackness I could hear something hit the floor.
I felt her weight as she sat on the edge of the bed and put out a hand to comfort her, but stopped myself. I didn’t know if she was having the same doubts I did, and I didn’t trust myself to not be a blathering idiot in front of her. Guys are supposed to be tough; we aren’t supposed to cry, ever. That was the way my dad had taught me, years ago before he died. I was really working my inner self up to a great crescendo when she pulled the covers up and slipped in beside me, curling up to me.
Her hair was still damp, her breath hot on my shoulder, but what had my mind frozen was the skin contact. I could feel her nude form with my arm; her breasts crushed around one arm as she tried to burrow into me, one leg sliding over mine.
“Alison…”
“Shhhh….”
“But…”
“If you hadn’t saved me from Tim, I wouldn’t be able to do this with you,” she whispered, nipping on me gently. She definitely had my attention, and I could feel her body as her breath came faster.
I rolled to my side, wishing like hell I could see, but all I had was vague starlight behind some drapes. I could see her eyes and the outline of her face. The first kiss was slow, teaching, yearning. It promised more to come. She let her hand wander over my body, and I lay there, enjoying the moment, knowing it was almost too late to turn back if I wanted. I didn’t want to turn back. Did I?
“He won’t hurt you,” I whispered to her.
“I know.” She pulled my shirt up, her free hand tracing and trying to tickle me. It didn’t work; I was lost in her eyes.
“So…”
“Our first time, so don’t go all fifty shades on me.”
“I won’t.” I kissed her and pulled the shirt off as our bodies touched and she rolled on her back.
Gently, I fel
t her body drawing closer to me, trying to pull my mouth closer to hers. My eyes adjusted to the dark in a desperate bid to see her. Her stomach was bathed in the moonlight, and her body was everything I had imagined and more. I caressed her and could not only see, but also feel her desire. As our hands searched each other, we gazed into each other’s eyes.
“Are you sure about this?”
“Yes.”
I needed no further encouragement and threw my boxers across the room, not caring where they landed. Alison’s needs were so great, that she took me in her hands and almost pulled me inside of her. I moved her hands away, wanting to watch, to feel, and to see her expression. I wanted to see the love in her eyes that I’d seen earlier in the tall grass. I pushed myself closer, watching her face melt with desire.
“Please,” she moaned as we locked together, savoring the warmth of each other’s body. Never in my wildest dreams had I expected this to happen. Or should I say, I’d never expected to be so enamored with this woman.
She wrapped her legs around me, and I could feel myself fall into her as she tried desperately to pull me even closer. The silkiness of her skin and the hunger in her eyes almost put me over the edge before we even began. The look in her eyes was not only mesmerizing, but it also pushed me to please her in every way possible.
As our bodies worked in unison to create the perfect and most satisfying climax, I realized it was not only the feel of her soft skin and her eyes that drew me in and wanting more. I was experiencing feelings I had never felt, and wanted nothing more than to savor every second in her arms. Ali’s hands pulled at my sides and I leaned in to kiss her deeply. I cupped one breast with my hand, pinching a nipple. She moaned and put her legs around my back. I could feel her climaxing, and knew I wasn’t going to last much longer.
“Does this always… Oh…”
“Yeah.” I kissed her neck knowing that as turned on as I was, and let’s admit, as head over heels in love as I was, I couldn’t last long.
Our breathing synched together as we worked ourselves up to a sweat, every gasp and every kiss bringing us closer and closer until I couldn’t hold back any more. Her body stiffened the same moment as mine, and I held myself still, planted deeply inside her, face down on the bed as she wrapped her legs around me, savoring every last second.
“Oh God.”
“Yeah,” I said, my mind blown.
“Did we just…?”
“Yeah.”
“Mom and Dad are going to be pissed…”
We laughed a little before making love a second time, less gentle, more urgent. Somewhere in the middle of sleep there may have been a third time, but I might have been dreaming.
Chapter Nine
I woke in the morning to the smell of coffee. The bed was empty, so I padded out to the little kitchenette to see Alison in my robe, her hands wrapped around a mug like her life depended on it. I padded out in my boxers and mused that my life might soon depend on caffeine, so I grabbed a mug and poured myself a cup as I studied her. Her eyes were looking out the window and when I looked, all I saw was everyday ranch stuff from the small window by the door.
“Tell me about your dreams?” Alison asked me.
“What do you want to know?”
“What scares you so bad that you cry out in your sleep? I moved the rifle because you kept reaching for it.”
“Losing friends mostly,” I admitted, a lump in my throat. “Not being fast enough to stop a suicide bomber, having to shoot kids with AKs who were shooting at me.”
“That’s horrible.”
“War always is.”
“Did you kill a lot?”
“Not as many as some. I wasn’t always right up there with the action.”
“But you did kill?” she asked, and we were both silent. I nodded to her.
“Usually from a ways off. Only a few times from up close.”
“And it gives you bad dreams?”
“Yes,” I admitted.
She paused a moment, chewing her lip in thought.
“I guess that’s a good thing. If you didn’t have bad dreams, you probably wouldn’t care?”
“Yeah, I guess that’s right.”
“And if you didn’t care, you’d be some sort of monster, but you’re not.”
“I’d like to hope not,” I told her, hating to have this conversation now, but knowing it would have come out some time or another.
“Good. I don’t know if I could love a monster.” She wrapped her arms around me.
With those words, my heart soared. I’d just admitted to her the worst of myself, and she told me she loved me, and she was holding me. How could she love the part of me that was a monster? With what I’d done, what I did. What I could do? I had felt bad with every kill, but in every war, there is always a shooter and I was one of them.
“Penny for your thoughts,” I asked after a couple minutes.
“I’m just worried.”
“About Mom and Dad…”
“No, no, not that.”
“Then what?”
“That everything with Tim, all the crazy stuff. Everything with the ranch. It’s either going to get worse or better. He lives, who knows? He dies, who knows? I honestly don’t know which one I want.”
“That’s a lot of guilt for one lady,” I said, holding her close, almost spilling her mug.
“Kind of. It doesn’t help that I’m sore all over.”
“Quit riding horses all day.”
“It wasn’t the horse that made me sore.” She set her cup down and swatted me.
“Well, about that, you see…”
Her cell phone rang, interrupting what could have been some shenanigans of some sort. She told Jackson hello, yes we were going, and sure, we’d take him with us. She flipped the phone closed.
“That was Jackson.”
“I got the gist of it.”
“Come here and give me a kiss. I have to run back to the house and get clean clothes on.”
“Wait, I’ll come with you,” I said, hurrying toward the bedroom.
“No, take a shower first.”
“A shower?”
“You stink like sex,” she whispered to me, grinning.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Give me your keys; I’ll drive the Jeep back.”
“Pants pocket.”
“Which is where?”
“By the bed.”
“It was dark…”
“Hurry back,” I said, walking into the bathroom and closing the door, hoping I’d just scored a point in the continuing game of irking her.
“Don’t think about last night while you are soaping yourself up,” she said, scratching the outside of the door.
Dammit! As soon as she said that, it was the only thing I could think of, and I let out a string of obscenities after I heard the front door close and started the water. No need to worry about hot water today. This morning, my shower was going to be cold. I finished as quickly as I could stand it. I stood in the kitchenette in a towel, lost in thought and sipping my second cup of coffee for the day when I saw Sandy walking up the path to the cabin. I had barely got my clothes on when she knocked on the door.
“Sandy, come in.”
“Thank you. Has Jackson been in yet?”
“No, we’re supposed to pick him up.”
“Oh okay. I wanted to ride in with you guys. This has to be so hard on Carl.”
My mind started spinning. Was Sandy the woman that Dade had been alluding to? Did Sandy and Carl Bart… I shook my head to clear the thought. Thinking about Carl made me think about his brother, the sheriff, which made me think about Karen. Everything in that train of thought went back in circles and reminded me of the bad soap operas and TV shows my mom watched when the weather was bad outside. Could she be the one?
“No problem. Alison is bringing the Jeep by, unless you guys want me to see if there’s one of the bigger trucks?”
“I’m sure your Jeep will be fine.”
“Okay.”
“I’m a little worried,” she said. Really? This had my head spinning possibilities again.
“Yeah, I wonder if what happens with Tim today ends the problems the ranch is having,” she said. I hadn’t seen that one coming, but I’d been thinking the same thing earlier.
“You think the tumor or whatever it is, caused Tim to go off the wall?”
“It did something to him, that’s for sure. Can I trouble you for a cup of coffee?”
“Sure, I have half a pot left.” I kicked myself for not offering. Hospitality went out the window when I’d started bunking seven deep with a bunch of guys from all over the world.
I pulled a cup down from the cupboard and poured her some of the Columbian brew. She raised it to her lips and took a cautious sip and we stood there for a moment, looking out the window.
“I used to be best friends with Tyler and Carl’s older sister. She died about twenty years ago. Drunk driver.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“Carl and Tyler changed that day. They became mean, or meaner than they were. I think it would break them if something happened to Tim.”
“But what he did wasn’t right.”
“We don’t know yet. If it was the tumor…”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” I admitted, having had the same line of thoughts myself.
“Those boys are the last in a long line of Barts. I think that’s why Tyler married that young lady.”
“Karen? Yeah, I don’t really think it’s a marriage of love…”
“He wants sons, and she wants his prestige or perception of power.”
“Yeah, I think so. She was kind of bold at the party…”
“If you hadn’t moved your head, she probably would have accused you of trying to kiss her and would have made a bigger scene.”
“You saw all that?”
“As soon as that tramp walked in, I knew there was going to be trouble.” She finished her cup and handed it to me. I filled it again.
“Yeah, subtle isn’t her thing I guess.”
“Neither was Alison.”
“What?”
“You didn’t see it, but as soon as you guys left our side, she started cussing a blue streak.” She sipped her cup smiling at me, the wrinkles in her face smoothing out as she smiled at me.