Because Paige wasn’t just anyone.
She was completely amazing in every way. And feeling that way for her scared the shit out of him.
He hadn’t expected to get involved with anyone while on the show. He’d been here for Ben only. Then he’d met Paige and all that changed. Every kiss seemed to throw him further over the edge and pretty soon there’d be no coming back.
Not that he really wanted to come back anyway.
He watched her hips sway as she walked in front of him down the path, feeling almost hypnotized by the movement. The grin on his face grew. If he could take her into the brush to steal a few more kisses right now, he totally would. He glanced to the side and surveyed the nearby foliage. Maybe he could take her behind that bush for a few minutes without being missed.
“We’re here,” Zoe said from beside Paige.
He pulled his mind back from where it had wandered off to do dirty things to Paige in the bushes and focused on the path ahead of him. Except there was no path anymore.
A wall of rock went straight up. Miles tracked a path from the bottom to the top, mentally noting all the notches to grip with his fingertips and the tiny cracks and crevasses to tuck his toes into the wall. Years of climbing made it easy to spot the best route up the cliff.
An easy climb. A couple of minutes up, a couple of minutes down. No sweat.
Small rocks fell from above, showering down the side of the cliff.
“Watch out below,” Dean called from the top ledge, swinging his leg over and beginning his climb down. A few minutes later, he and Chuck stood in front of them.
“You guys going up?” Chuck asked.
“Yeah,” Zoe said, squaring her shoulders. “We’re all going up.”
Chuck and Dean elbowed each other laughing. “Sure you are,” Dean said. He turned to face Miles. “Too bad you’ve got so much dead weight on your team. This would be an easy climb for you. For the others, not so much.”
“Watch it,” Miles said, balling his hands into fists at his sides. He wasn’t a fighter, but hearing some jackass call his friends dead weight could make even the most even-tempered person irate.
They ignored his comment and laughed again, jogging down the trail.
Miles clenched his jaw. It wasn’t true. Neither his teammate nor the girls were dead weight. He took in the others who stood there watching him, not saying anything as if they waited for him to admit he felt that way about them.
“Those guys are jackasses. Don’t listen to them.” But even as he said it, he couldn’t stop himself from evaluating them. Paige in her heels with the open toes. Zoe with her ankle still bandaged and weak in her sneakers. Ben with his prosthesis, still unsure of whether he could climb or not.
And his fear that something would go wrong if they tried to climb the cliff.
“So let’s get going then,” Paige said, moving to stand right in front of the cliff. She grabbed hold of the rocks with both hands then tentatively put the ball of her foot on a small ledge. As she pulled herself up to find a place for her other foot, Miles watched as her arms quivered a little at having to hold the majority of her body weight.
Damn it. He couldn’t let her do this.
“Come on back down, Paige,” he said, taking a step toward her.
She glanced over her shoulder, “No, I’m good. I can do it.”
She reached up a little further then looked for the next place to put her feet. He could see where she should step, but instead of her choosing that spot, she placed her foot on a precarious looking outcropping.
“Not that one,” he said, coming up behind her, raising his arms to catch her if she fell. “Put your right foot over one spot further.”
“This one is fine, Miles.”
Paige put her foot where she wanted instead of where he suggested. As soon as she shifted her weight to move her hands again, her foot slipped. Paige shrieked and stumbled to regain her footing while clinging to the wall. Her arms and legs shook as she looked back down to him, fear in her eyes already and she was only a few feet off the ground.
He reached up and grabbed her by the waist, guiding her as she climbed back down to solid ground. When her feet hit the trail, she turned and buried her head in his chest. Her entire body trembled in his arms.
“It’s okay. You’re on the ground now.”
She pulled away and glanced back to the wall, freeing herself from his protective arms. What he wouldn’t do to keep them safely wrapped around her for the rest of the show. “I’m okay. I just got freaked out. You tell me where to put my feet and I’ll listen this time.”
He smiled and kissed her. “Good. Leave them right where they are.”
“What?” She took a step back. Not the reaction he wanted, but unfortunately the one he expected.
“Stay right here, both feet on the ground.”
“No. The cache is up there and I’m going to get it.”
He shook his head. “No you’re not. None of us are.”
“What?” This time it was Ben’s voice with a touch of disbelief mixed with annoyance.
Miles prepared himself for the fight he was about to have on his hands. Ben wasn’t going to like him very much in another minute or two. “I think we should skip this one. Go back to the trucks and find another cache to hit. We still have lots of time left today.”
Ben threw his hands up. “I can’t believe you. Why did you bring me on this show? Just so you could keep telling me what I can and can’t do? Just to keep proving to yourself how much better you are than me?”
Ben’s words stung like acid. “No. That’s not it at all. I can’t believe you think that.”
“What else am I supposed to think? All you’ve done this whole time is tell me what I’m not strong enough to do. So thanks for bringing me on national television just to point out my shortcomings.”
Miles shook his head. That wasn’t what he’d meant to do at all. It was the exact opposite of that. “I didn’t. I wanted you to remember how much fun we had climbing together so maybe you’d start doing it again. I wanted you to realize that you can still do all the things you used to so that when I ask you to join me for a climb, you’ll actually say yes for a change.”
Ben folded his arms across his chest. “Well, if that’s your goal, you’ve been going about it ass backward.”
Miles didn’t know what to say. Had he screwed up that bad? One glance around at the unhappy faces greeting him and the answer was clear. Yep. He’d screwed up big time. But how could he fix it now?
“I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention to make you feel weak.”
“Then let me do this. You know as well as I do that this is a baby climb compared to the mountains we’ve conquered.”
He wanted to say yes, but what about Paige and Zoe? Paige obviously couldn’t climb in those heels and seeing her try once was more than enough. And Zoe’s ankle would never be strong enough to make the climb.
“Great. So it’s settled then. Let’s go.” Paige moved toward the cliff again.
Miles grabbed her arm and pulled her back against his chest. “I can’t let you do that again,” he said softly. “You can’t climb in those heels. You’ll fall and get hurt.”
“No I won’t. I’ll be fine.”
“If you guys can do it, we can to,” Zoe said.
No way. He couldn’t watch all three of them on the rocks at once. Certainly he couldn’t catch all three if they fell.
“No way. I’m sticking to my original plan. We all go back.”
Ben swore and looked as if he wanted to punch something. Probably he wanted to punch Miles. And after everything, he probably deserved it.
“I’m going up that cliff and you’re coming with me. We’re a team and as an equal half of that team, I’m making a decision for us. Finally. We’r
e climbing up to that cache and if the girls can’t come too, then we’re going without them.”
Ben turned to face Zoe. “You know why I have to do this, right?”
She smiled and nodded, stepping away from the rocks and heading back down the trail. “Come on, Paige. Let’s go find another cache to do.”
“What? You’re not going to put up a fight about being equally as strong or capable or anything?” Paige called after Zoe, looking disappointed. When Zoe didn’t stop or answer her, Paige turned back to Miles. “You coming with us? Wasn’t this an alliance where we do all the caches together or we don’t do them?”
Miles looked back and forth between Paige and Ben. What was the right choice? He didn’t want to walk away from Paige or break his alliance, but he had come on the show to prove to Ben he could still climb. Now they were in the position to climb and he couldn’t very well say no. He knew Ben was strong enough to do this. Maybe it was the thing that would really convince him to start climbing again. If he didn’t take this opportunity with him now, he may not get another one.
“You know climbing is all about trusting your partner,” Ben started. “How can you expect me to trust you on a mountain again if you can’t even trust me to climb this?”
Ben was right. Miles had to trust Ben to make good judgment calls if he wanted a climbing partner again. And he needed to start proving to Ben he did trust him. Starting today.
He faced Paige. “I’m going with Ben. You can wait at the trucks for us if you want or I’ll catch up with you at base camp tonight.”
Paige glanced back to where Ben stood, waiting. “I get why you need to do this climb with Ben after everything you told me about the accident the other night. But why can’t you help us climb too? Aren’t we important to you too?”
Of course she was important to him, but in this moment, he had to do this with Ben and only Ben. This was the entire reason he’d come on the show to begin with. He couldn’t change his goals now. That wouldn’t be fair to Ben or to himself. If Paige and Zoe would have been in better condition to climb, he absolutely would have helped them. But they weren’t and he couldn’t risk any of them, even on this simple climb.
“You are important, but I can’t watch all of you at once. It’s not safe for you to climb in those heels and Zoe’s ankle would never be strong enough. But Ben and I can make it to the top.”
“And Zoe and I can’t so you’re going to ditch us instead of sticking with us. Nice.”
“I’m sorry, but I need to do this for him even if it means I have to do it without you.”
She narrowed her eyes, hurt and anger flashing in them. “So that’s it? You use us as long as it’s convenient for you and the second you can’t benefit from us you bail? Nice. I thought our — alliance — meant more to you.”
Paige turned and walked away.
Shit.
Tonight he would explain his choice to Paige when they were alone in his room. Until then, he had to focus on getting Ben up to the cache and back safely.
“Let’s go,” he said, motioning for Ben to start up the hill in front of him.
Chapter Twenty-One
Paige pushed the rocking chair back and forth, hoping the motion would calm the turmoil boiling inside. So far, it wasn’t working.
“Can you knock that off, it’s making me seasick.” Zoe leaned back in her rocking chair, closing her eyes.
Paige stopped rocking and stared at Zoe instead.
“What?” Zoe said, her eyes still closed.
“Doesn’t it bother you at all?”
“Yes, I’m completely sick of these stupid daily wrap-ups, interviews, whatever the hell Chip wants to call them. No matter what you call them, they suck.”
“On that lovely note, let’s get started,” Evan said. He flipped the switch to turn his camera on. “Now that we’re getting closer to the end of the game, how are you holding up? Is the pressure getting to you yet?”
“I’d be better if we could have a day off from these wrap-ups,” Zoe said, looking completely bored.
“We’re holding up just fine. Our team is doing great. We’ve collected a lot of caches lately, so we should be set up okay going into the end.”
“And how is your alliance with Team Everest going? Still strong and united?”
Paige felt her blood pressure spike at the mention of Miles’s team. “We have no alliance. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Zoe turned to face her. “We don’t have an alliance? Damn. That’s news to me.”
“Has the alliance been going well in your mind, Zoe?” Evan asked.
“Yeah. It’s been great. We’ve been getting a ton of caches since we started working together and we’ve actually been having a lot of fun hanging out together too. This no alliance thing is definitely news to me.”
Evan addressed his next question at Paige. “What changed with your alliance in your opinion?”
She wanted to ignore him, but couldn’t. The camera would keep rolling until she answered. “It’s only an alliance if the teams actually work together. When one team goes off on their own leaving the other team behind, I think that effectively ends the partnership.”
“Did that happen with your teams today?”
“Yes. Miles and Ben chose to do a cache we weren’t able to do and that, in my mind at least, ends the alliance.”
“So you won’t be working with them again tomorrow?” Evan asked.
“Yes, we will,” Zoe said, rolling her eyes. “Paige needs a night to cool off about everything and we’ll be back on track with our alliance.”
“No, I’m done with your brother, Zoe. Done.”
“Paige, calm down. You just need a little distance before you talk it out with Miles. Everything will be fine again after a little make-up … talk.” Zoe winked at her.
“You really think I’m going to jump into bed with him again after he betrayed me this way?”
Zoe nodded her head toward the camera while staring at Paige. “You might want to ask Evan nicely to edit out that last part about sleeping with my brother. Viewing audience and all that stuff.”
Paige clenched her jaw and rubbed her hand across her forehead. Great. Just what she needed, the whole world hearing about her relationship with Miles and her subsequent betrayal by him. Awesome. Let the good times roll. Well, she wasn’t going to risk saying anything else stupid.
Paige stood from her rocking chair and pulled her hair back off her face into a messy ponytail. It felt so good to get it out of her face after a long day in the heat out on the trails. “I don’t know if you had more questions or not, Evan, but I’m done for the night.”
• • •
Paige filled her plate at the buffet then scanned the room for a place to sit and eat. Ben and Miles already sat at their usual table, laughing and joking while they ate. No way in hell was she about to join them. Not after Miles had turned his back on their alliance … and on her.
She sat on the sofa in front of the fireplace, balancing her plate in her lap. Hopefully the warmth of the fire would take away the chill she felt run down her spine every time she looked at Miles, her anger and hurt still pulsing through her.
He’d chosen Ben.
Not their alliance. Not her. Ben. His buddy. And only Ben.
Everything she’d done during this show to try and become more confident and stronger — more desirable to a guy like Miles — had all been for nothing. Didn’t matter how much more confident she was, guys like Miles or Ben or any of the others from her past would never chose to be with her. No matter what she did, no one would ever see her as the kind of girl they wanted to stick with forever. She was always just someone they were stuck with temporarily until they could ditch her.
At least now she knew where Miles’s loyalty laid, and it wasn’t
with her. The only thing laying with her was his hot body. Too bad. She’d miss cuddling up against his gorgeous sculpted body tonight. But more than that, she’d miss falling asleep while talking to him about everything in their lives. She’d miss listening to his stories about his adventures. She’d miss telling him about her life back home.
She glanced over when she heard Miles laugh at something Ben said. Well, he wouldn’t miss her, would he?
Paige turned back to her food, not really tasting what she ate. It was just something to stop the annoying monster in her stomach, not something she took any pleasure in tonight. The sooner she ate, the sooner she could head to bed and put the day behind her. Tomorrow she’d feel better about everything. Hopefully.
Or at least she’d feel better about the show. Miles was a whole other problem that would probably bother her for a while longer.
Halfway through her plate of food, Zoe walked into the common room. Paige nodded at her but Zoe looked right past her then wandered over to Ben and Miles.
Nice. Traitor.
Not even Zoe cared that Miles had chosen Ben over Paige. Why would she? Obviously she cared more that her brother was happy than she cared about her own teammate. Now that Zoe had this new bond with Ben, she probably cared more about him than she did about Paige too.
Paige was a team of one again, just like she feared she would be that very first day when Cassidy had bailed on the show. Before she could dwell on it any longer, Zoe and Ben walked out of the room together, talking quietly as they went. Not even so much as a glance toward Paige to say goodbye. The sting of being alone grew and tears pricked her eyes.
Forcing herself to take a deep breath, she steadied her emotions. She wouldn’t become a basket case because of them. She’d come too far during this show for that. She was stronger now than she’d ever been before and a little loneliness wasn’t going to change her back to how she used to be.
The couch shifted beside her as Miles joined her.
She wouldn’t let betrayal take away her confidence either.
Stuck on You (Crimson Romance) Page 19