by Ashley Beale
"Yeah," I answer. Hopeful that it’s the truth.
It isn't even a half hour that Clarissa is knocking on the door to my dorm. I open the door and she pulls me into her, hugging me close. It doesn't feel like it’s been almost a month since I've seen her last but at the same time, it definitely feels like far too long.
She has me sit on the bed, and once I'm calmed down enough, she has me relay everything I know. We talk until the early morning hours about Blaise, Roman, the drugs, things I've possibly witnessed without realizing it, and so much more.
Finally she adds, "I think we need to sneak into his house."
"What?" She has obviously gone completely insane.
"Seriously. We need to find out what is in that drawer. Then we can bring all of our knowledge to the police. If he isn't behind bars, you're not safe."
Something tells me this isn't smart but I can't think of another justifiable way to escape Blaise.
"How am I going to get him to let you and me in his condo alone?"
She ponders on it for a minute. "Tell him you're feeling better and want to go for a swim. Make sure to mention that I’m with you, and that you want me to join. One of us will stay by the pool with him, the other one of us will go inside the condo and sneak into the drawer. You said you knew which one it was, right?"
"Yeah, it’s the bottom left one. Do you think it'll work?"
"Do you think it'll work? You know him a lot better than I do."
"I'll call him later, around ten, and see if he agrees to it."
"Then let’s get some sleep until then."
Clarissa and I both lay back in my bed, just like old times. A peacefulness falls over me before sleep finds its way to me.
I don't have time to even call Blaise in the morning. Instead he is knocking on the door of my dorm room just hours after falling asleep. It's not even eight in the morning and I’m crawling out of bed to answer the door.
He holds a cappuccino in one hand and a bag from the cafe in the other. "Morning beautiful," he states. "Are you feeling better?"
If I had the energy, I would totally punch him in the face right now. Or not. I can definitely pretend to though. Even if he is being thoughtful.
"A little." It's close enough to the truth.
He peeks over my shoulder and I watch as his brows raise. His eyes dart back to me. I see the question in them. He wants to know when Clarissa made her way over- and why. If I were sick, it makes sense I'd come back and just sleep. Thankfully Clarissa and I have spent a million nights next to each other when sick, so it’s not hard to come up with a lie.
"I called Clarissa last night crying. I didn't want to be alone while being sick, but I felt like I would annoy you if I left your house then called you to come over. It was nice anyways, we made things right between us, finally."
Blaise seems to believe my story. Even if he doesn't believe it, he doesn't say anything.
"So what did you have planned for us today?" I pipe up, bringing the subject back to why he randomly showed up early this morning.
He grins. "I was just going to lay low with you. Cuddle, movies, whatever you need to feel better."
"Sunshine and swimming?" I question it instead of requesting it.
"Anything for you, baby. But only if you really feel like your stomach can handle it today."
"With all the work I've done and sleep I've gotten this week, I think sunshine is exactly what I need."
He enters in the dorm behind me, closing the door with his foot. Blaise places the cappuccino and bag on my desk, then sits on Tricia's bed while I quickly grab clothes out of my dresser. Once I'm dressed and my hair is brushed, I wake Clarissa up.
She moan and groans as her body stretches out. "It’s ten already?" she wines.
"No, but Blaise is here. We're going to his house to go swimming today."
I don't miss the look Blaise gives me. He didn't know I was inviting Clarissa along with me. I ignore the look completely. There is no way I'm going to his house without Clarissa by my side.
Blaise insists I ride with him, and it's definitely hard to argue. Clarissa already has her car, so there really is no point for three of us to take our own vehicles. I ride with him but only for the sake that I know if I need to get out of there, Clarissa has her car.
In the car, Blaise reaches over and grabs my hand in his. "Are you sure you're feeling better?"
"I'm still a little tired," I tell him, "but I don't feel queasy anymore." When in fact, the closer we get to his house, the more I can feel my stomach turn. The only thing stopping me from tossing my cookies is that Clarissa is behind us. That and the fact that I need to find out more about Blaise so hopefully we can turn him in.
"So you and Clarissa are better, just like that?"
I hate the way he questions it but it makes sense. We haven't talked in so long and he has heard me vent about our fight on multiple occasions. He never was told the actual details behind our fight, for obvious reasons, but he knows enough. I guess I'd be skeptical too. Then again, females do work in mysterious ways like that.
"It was time," I tell him. It’s the truth. "I missed my best friend."
He squeezes my hand and looks over at me. "I thought I was your best friend."
"You're my best guy friend," I assure him. The way he assumes he is my best friend like that creeps me out. Sadly enough, if this were a week ago I would have found it completely endearing. Now I feel bugs crawling under my skin.
He doesn't say anything more but he doesn't need to, his face expression says it all. He honestly is annoyed about Clarissa being back in my life. Being the supportive, loving boyfriend he has pretended to be all this time, he should be grateful that we're getting along again. Or at least he should pretend to be grateful.
Blaise tells Clarissa and I to head out to the pool and that he'll be out soon. I can tell he is up to something, but I can't figure out exactly what. I'm nervous that he really did find out that I went through his things. Maybe he showed up early to lure me here to kill me. It’s the only thought that comes to mind.
"What do you think he is doing?" Clarissa asks.
She places her water bottle down on one of the patio tables and takes a chair next to it. I sit in the one opposite to hers so we can share the bottle of sunscreen. "I'm not sure. Plotting our murder?"
Clarissa gives a look of disgust. "Sadly, I wouldn't put it past him. Should you let Roman know about any of this? After all, he seems to know things. He did say he was going to protect you."
"Yes, the man who snuck into my room, stole my cell phone, watched me sleep, hid in my closet, and knew Blaise was dangerous is trying to protect me. I couldn't believe it even if I wanted to."
"You couldn't believe Blaise had an evil twin either."
I'm uncertain and I know my face lets her know that. I'm also beyond confused. I've never been put into a situation like this, nor have I met anyone that has been put into a dangerous position. I've heard of murders and rapists in newspapers, but things like don't happen to people like me. Those things are supposed to be stories. Things that terrify me but don't actually happen.
"Let’s figure out what is in that drawer first, then I'll talk to Roman. I'd rather not call him. I want to speak to him in person. I'll see him tomorrow at work."
She rubs her lips together while she thinks about it for a second. I see the moment she gives in. Clarissa lays back in the chair, sunglasses on, and absorbs the sunshine. It’s harder for me to relax but I do my best to join her in absorbing the vitamin D I've been losing out on.
Nearly an hour later, Blaise finally joins us outdoors. He is dressed differently. More... professionally. "Hey," he states. "I actually got called into work."
"Oh. On a Sunday?" In the time I've known him, he has never had to work on a weekend. Maybe something for his uncle but not actually for work.
He shrugs while rolling the sleeves of his white pressed shirt. "Roman called. It’s an emergency. I'm not sure how long I'll be eith
er. I'm sorry to cut this short."
I can't seem to believe him but I'm definitely not calling him out on his bullshit.
Clarissa speaks up. "I can bring her back to the dorm, but do you mind if I use your bathroom first?"
He sighs. "Hurry up. I need to lock up."
I know this means she is going to try to get into Blaise's bedroom. He turns to head into the condo behind her, so I do my best attempt at stopping him. "Is everything okay at the office? Do you think he'll need me too?"
Blaise gives me a small smile. "It's one of the behind the scene things. You'll be fine. Go enjoy your day with your friend."
It bugs me that he can't even say her name. He really dislikes her that much.
"Well if you're back early enough, do you want to hang out tonight?" I nearly cringe when those words leave my mouth, but I really need to distract him, just a little longer.
He walks back towards me and wraps his arms around my waist. "I would love to baby. I feel like I haven't had much time with you."
"Good." I slowly reach up and kiss his lips. I have to tell myself I'm doing this for a good cause or I might end up getting sick again. "We really haven't seen much of each other this week."
"Maybe we could change that."
"Oh yeah, how so?" I ask flirtatiously.
Blaise becomes slightly anxious before he speaks again. I already know I'm not going to like what comes out of his mouth. "You can move in with me."
My stomach turns rapidly. I'm honestly about to become sick again. "You want me... to move in... with you?"
The smile on Blaise's face disappears. "You're white as a ghost," he murmurs.
I have to think quickly to the situation. "I've never moved in with a guy before. It scares me."
Sweat drips down the back of my neck. The temperature of my body rises hastily. I didn't lie about any of that, I truly am terrified. Not about moving in with him, but that he thinks we're in it this deep. He isn't going to just let me go. Clarissa is right... until he is behind bars, I'm not safe. Even then I'm not so sure.
"I know, baby. I'm glad you never have. I like being your first. You’re only. It's just the start of a beautiful future together."
I have to force my body not to shake. My mind is erratic right now. I can't think... or breathe. "Can I... can I think on it?" I can't straight out say no and I most certainly am not agreeing to it. I just need to process things. I also need more time.
I truly hadn't seen before now how attached Blaise is to me.
Blaise runs his hand up and down my back. "I didn't mean to scare you. Of course you can think on it." He kisses my nose before backing away. "I really need to get to work though. Roman is going to have my ass if I don't get in there."
"I just need to grab this stuff," I tell him.
He helps me grab the stuff Clarissa and I brought down to the pool area, then together we head into his condo. My heart pounds harder and harder the closer we get to the door. Clarissa starts to walk out as Blaise walks in. "I was wondering what was taking so long," she jokes.
Blaise just looks at her and keeps walking. "I have to lock up. I'll meet you at the car." He looks over at me to inform me directly. I nod my head and walk out of the front door with Clarissa.
Her shoulders drop when she gets outside. She was holding her in breathe. I wasn't the only one terrified that means.
"Did you find anything?" I whisper behind her.
She looks over her shoulder at me and hisses for me to stay quiet.
I'm anxious to know what happened in there. I stand outside the car as Clarissa climbs in and turns the car on, rolling down the windows to cool off the inside. Blaise comes out seconds later and strolls down the walkway towards me.
"I'll call you when I get out beautiful." He pulls me in close before I have a chance to say anything back. He tongue dives into my mouth, giving me one extremely intense kiss. I wasn't expecting a kiss like this but I play into it, kissing him back but pulling away first.
"I'll talk to you then." I reach behind me and pull on the door of Clarissa's car. "Have fun at work."
Clarissa doesn't hesitate spilling what she found when we get going down the road. "You need to stay away from him, Liv. Both his bottom drawers opened up." She whips the car to the side of the street. It sends dust flying behind us as she roars to a stop. Her body twists in the seat to face me and tears instantly start spilling down her cheek.
"The first one wasn't bad but it’s sketchy. Money. Tons of money. Thousands, if not more." She slows her breathing down. I don't even want to know what is in the second drawer if she is truly that petrified. "The second one," she continues. "There were three guns." She pauses before saying what really terrifies me. "And a picture of me... and your sister... and hundreds of other girls."
"What? What does that mean? Are you sure?"
She starts to cry a little harder as she nods her head yes. "I couldn't make it up if I wanted to. Liv, some of these girls... they... they had bloody faces. Bruises. Were skin and bones. They looked sick. Some of them, like the one of me..."
Clarissa starts to hyperventilate. I can't understand what could be so bad about the picture of her. It’s obvious she wasn't battered or bruised like the others. I want to know what she saw in the picture of her.
And my sister! I haven't even seen or talked to my sister in God knows how long.
"Clarissa." I reach over and grab her hands in mine. "Shh, its okay. Breathe." I try my best to calm her but it doesn't seem to help.
She speaks through her tears. The words come out shaky but I understand what she says loud and clear. "It was last week, Liv. I was... I was naked and in my shower. He got a picture of me somehow."
The door to her car opens up and she starts throwing up on the ground. Her body heaves murderously. I rub her back, holding back tears of my own. I'm still trying to process how that could happen. It doesn't make sense. Not just how he got them, but why. What does he want with this pictures and what is he going to do with them?
I grab napkins out of the glove box and hand them to Clarissa once she is done. She closes the door and rests her head back against the seat, closing her eyes. "Your sister was at the graveyard."
"Graveyard? My mom's grave?"
She shakes her head no. "Talyn's."
My body goes cold. How could he know about Talyn? I never told him anything about that. It can't be coincidence he knows about her.
"What have I gotten us all into?" I whisper, more to myself than Clarissa.
She answers softly anyways. "I wish I had the faintest clue."
I hate saying goodbye to Clarissa already but we both have classes tomorrow, and even though everything is fucked up right now, we can't ignore our responsibilities. "Make sure you call me," she tells me.
"Absolutely. Drive safe and I love you."
She smiles warmly at me. "I love you, too, Liv. Always."
I give her the biggest hug of all time. I don't want to let go. She leaves and I sit on my dorm bed with a stack of books. I need to attempt in doing some homework but my thoughts keep going back to the photographs. I wish I knew what to make of them.
Drugs, guns, pictures of girls, stacks of money. I'm not sure I can go to the cops with just that information. Yes, the drugs will most likely get him some time in jail, but there is obviously more to the story. If I don't find it out what that is, he could just get a slap on the wrist and come after me.
When my parents warned me becoming an adult isn't all its cracked up to be, I wasn't expecting things like this. Is this my future? Do I even have a future? I'm not even sure anymore.
The room closes in on me. I'm suffocating.
I push the books to the floor before grabbing the blanket and wrapping myself up inside. I need its comfort right now. I close my eyes and urge my mind to shut off all the information I've accumulated this week. I'm ready to hit the rewind button. Life needs to simple again.
My mom runs through a field in front of me. I sit against a l
arge oak tree with a smile on my face as I watched the sun wash down on my mother. A halo of tropical colors glistening around her brings out this serenity in me that I'll never be able to explain.
Bliss. It is pure bliss.
I watch her dress whip around in the wind as she dances all around. Her arms spread wide, feeling the freedom that surrounds her.
This is her heaven. Our heaven. I may not have ever gotten to know much of my mom in real life, but in my dreams, she can be my best friend. It's been a long time since I've dreamt of her though.
She catches me out of the corner of her eye. Her beautiful dance stops as her feet move in my direction. "Olive, what are you doing, my sweet little mami?"
Mom is the only person who has ever called me Olive. She wanted to name me Olive but my dad refused to let her, saying I wasn't being named after a Popeye character. She agreed to Liv instead, then when dad wasn't around, she'd cuddle me in her arms and call me her precious Olive.
"I'm scared momma," I tell her.
"I know."
"What do I do?" A tear falls from my eye.
Mom swipes it away with her thumb. "You protect yourself. You protect the ones you love. And you fight, Olive. Fight as hard as you can."
"I wish you were here."
"I've been here all along." She kisses my forehead.
The door closes to my dorm, waking me from my surreal dream. "Your phone's been going off," Tricia announces in her annoyed tone.
I reach over to grab my phone and see that not only have I slept literally all day, but that I have over two dozen missed calls. One from Roman, two from Clarissa, and the rest from Blaise. I'm shocked he hasn't shown up to my dorm yet.
I ignore his calls and the three voicemails he has left. Instead I call Clarissa. She mostly wants to find out why I didn't answer the phone and if I'm doing alright. Alright... yeah, I guess you could call it that.
Hesitating for a moment once I'm off the phone with Clarissa, I dial back Roman's number. He answers on the first ring. "Roman."
I hate the arrogant way he answers the phone. I think it’s obvious it’s Roman answering if it’s Roman I'm calling. "You called," I state.