Far from regretting his army life, not only did it distract him from thoughts of Dilys but, like all his countrymen, he intended to be active in defending his country against the threatening German takeover of Bergen, among all the other Norwegian ports. Presently, he told himself, he would have to return to the house where his mother would give him those long, anxious looks. He knew she had guessed that his relationship with the English girl had been a lot more serious than he had told her, but he had not been able to bring himself to confide in her, knowing as he did that she, like her neighbouring best friend, was hoping he would marry Gerda.
Gerda! He thought of her now. She was so affectionate, so expectant of his response to her. Her smiles had faded momentarily when at the lunch party his aunt and uncle had referred to ‘the nice young English girl’ he had introduced them to in Munich. He’d replied in as casual a tone as he could manage: ‘Oh, her father took her back to England the next day knowing war with Germany was imminent,’ and Dilys had not been mentioned again.
Sighing, Kristoffer told himself once more that he was fortunate to have been drafted into the army and could live away from home and from Gerda’s unspoken demands for physical affection and his mother’s anxious glances when any reference was made to ‘the English girl’ he was friendly with in Munich.
It was not the first time he had found himself in the difficult position of having to parry a female’s overt interest in him. At the age of twenty-one when he had been studying in France, his thirty-five-year-old female teacher, an attractive Parisienne, had opted to teach him a lot more than the French language. Unfortunately, her lessons, far from being academic, had come to an abrupt end when, after an enlightening few months, she confessed she had fallen in love with him. He had been both flattered and embarrassed by her declaration. Subsequently he came to realize that he was envied by his contemporaries because he never lacked for female admirers.
Now, as Kristoffer looked back on those early years in his late teens and twenties, he recalled that there had been several times when he’d thought he was in love – a possibility he recognized was absurd once he met Dilys.
The pain of his loss returned yet again and he shivered, aware suddenly that he had grown cold. He tucked his gloved hands under his armpits for extra warmth. The sky had darkened and it looked as if it might soon start snowing. He must go back, he told himself. It was nearly four o’clock. Perhaps Gerda and her parents would have gone home and he would not have to face the inviting look in her eyes. In the old days before he had gone to Germany he would have walked her back to her house and stopped in her doorway for the customary kisses and intimate embraces.
Banging his gloved hands against his sides, he made his way back down the familiar path through the trees. The snow had stopped melting and there was now a light coating of frost on the branches. It reflected the cold emptiness in his heart, he told himself as he faced the unavoidable fact that the girl he’d wanted to marry may never have really loved him at all.
It had been a hectic day for Una at the surgery, having taken on Dilys’ tasks as James’ assistant as well as acting as his receptionist. When he finally closed the doors at half past six, she sat down on one of the now-empty benches and drew a sigh of relief.
James regarded her anxiously. ‘Sure it has not been too much for you?’ he asked. ‘You look exhausted! That tiresome Mrs Campaign ought to be called Mrs Complain. I’ve told her a dozen times that there is nothing wrong with her Yorkie except that he’s hopelessly overweight! Hopefully now with food rationing the unfortunate Twinkle will slim down despite his doting mistress’s overindulgence.’
He smiled at Una, adding: ‘How about coming next door and having a quick drink before I drive you home? I presume you are allowed to have alcohol? A sherry, perhaps?’ His smile deepened. ‘Medicinal, of course, as alcohol is taboo.’
He really was a very nice man, Una thought as she followed him back across the hall to his drawing room. When she and Dilys had first met him they’d thought he was a bit stuffy but had since realized that beneath his confident, professional approach to his clients he was quite shy. Since they had started work at the surgery they had discovered both his delightful sense of humour and exceptional depth of understanding of the feelings of sick animals and their worried owners.
That innate compassion in his character was apparent now when, having given Una a glass of sherry and poured himself a whisky, he said gently, ‘Forgive me for asking so personal a question, Una, but I couldn’t help noticing … your sister … she’s having a baby, isn’t she?’
Una gasped. ‘You know … I mean, you guessed?’
She broke off as James interrupted her. ‘I guessed!’ he said quietly. Then added with the hint of a smile: ‘Symptoms in humans are very similar to those of animals! I guessed some time ago.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Please forgive me for concerning myself in something that is not my business, but when you told me this morning that Dilys wouldn’t be coming to work again … well, I wondered—’
He broke off and Una felt a huge sense of relief that she was not now going to be the one who had to enlighten him to her sister’s disgrace. She and Dilys discussed every morning when they were getting dressed whether the clothes Dilys was wearing were too revealing not just to their employer but to the servants, the friends and neighbours who sometimes came to see their mother on the rare occasions she was now home. Lately, they had been forced to admit that none of Dilys’ clothes had waistbands large enough for fastening, and she had been forced to add a strip of elastic and cover it with a loose-fitting blouse and jersey. They had decided that as their employer was a man he would not know how ridiculously unfashionable her clothes were.
Impulsively, Una now decided to discuss Dilys’ predicament with James, who had sounded more sympathetic than critical. Soon everyone was going to know if Dilys remained at home. Even if Kristoffer was found by some miracle and was made to come to England, he was an adult and could not be forced to marry Dilys if he didn’t want to. He might even be married already for all they knew! And the baby was due to be born in little over eight weeks’ time.
Her mind made up, Una gripped her sherry glass and, leaning forward, gave the man listening to her a brief summary of the events leading to her twin’s present predicament.
Although not shocked by what he was hearing, James was surprised. Since their first encounter at Christmas and during the last few months they had been working for him, he had come to know the twins well enough to appreciate the innate differences in their characters. Therefore he would not now have been so surprised had it been Una, the more dominant one, who had got herself into trouble. It was far less easy to understand how the shy, gentle Dilys had, at the tender age of seventeen, willingly lost her virginity to a young man she had only known for a short while. Una had assured him that Dilys had not been raped or plied with too much alcohol; she had fallen in love with the young man and he with her.
James’ thoughts winged back to the day when he was in his twenties, a student at veterinary college. He had fallen in love at first sight with one of the female students. They had been married six months later, and when a year later his young wife, Margaret, had produced their son, she had given up her plans for a career in medicine and stayed at home to care for him and their baby.
They had, James now realized, been no less precipitate than Dilys and her young lover: as certain as he and Margaret had been of their love for one another. In their case, tragedy had shattered his dreams when his wife and child had been killed in a car crash. Since then he had never remarried despite his intense loneliness. Was this young girl’s love life to have a tragic ending, too? Would her loved one be found? And if so, would the Norwegian student really return her love and be eager to marry her, or had he forgotten her as Una feared might be the case?
James’ face showed his concern as he looked at Una and said, ‘You will tell me if there is any way at all that I can help? Please tell Dilys I am hoping that th
ings will turn out all right for her.’ He paused before adding: ‘Meanwhile, Una, you will keep me informed, won’t you? I’ve no need to tell you that anything you say will be treated as totally confidential.’
It was after seven o’clock and James insisted on driving Una home. Having thanked him for the lift and for the second time for his sympathetic understanding of Dilys’ situation, she hurried upstairs to the privacy of their bedroom where she knew she would find her sister. As was now customary, her twin was sitting in a chair by the window reading a book. After removing her hat and coat, Una sat down on the bed and proceeded to tell Dilys of her conversation with James after he’d admitted he had guessed her condition. To Una’s surprise, Dilys was not embarrassed as she had anticipated, but indifferent.
‘What does it matter if James knows?’ she declared. ‘Soon everyone will know and be saying how awful it is me having an illegitimate baby, but I’m not sorry, Una. It’s part of Kristoffer – the only part I have. I still love him …’ And she burst into tears.
Una put a consoling arm round her shoulders but she could not think of anything to say to comfort her.
Lady Singleby returned home each of the following weekends and remained uncommunicative regarding Dilys’ future. Sir Godfrey remained in London until 10 April when he arrived home in the evening. After spending half an hour alone with his wife in his study, he sent the maid to find Dilys.
When she came into the room he instructed her to sit down in the chair opposite him. He guessed by the eager, expectant expression on her pale face that she had been hoping he had located Kristoffer’s whereabouts, which was not the case. He cleared his throat and a trifle less harshly than he had intended, stated, ‘I’ll get straight to the point, Dilys. My contact in the Foreign Office managed to find the timber company in Bergen but the owner told him his only son, who is in the Norwegian army, is expected to marry a childhood friend. So that’s that, Dilys, and there is now no alternative but for you to go to the mother-and-baby home which your mother found for one of my constituents who was having an …’ he hesitated for a fraction of a second before saying bluntly, ‘… an illegitimate baby. Arrangements have been made for you to go there next Wednesday.’
It was several minutes before Dilys could find her voice. The news that she was to be sent away to have her baby paled into total insignificance beside the news that Kristoffer was more or less engaged to be married to what sounded like his childhood sweetheart. Una had been right when she’d implied that her association in Munich with Kristoffer had not been a love affair on his part as it was on hers. Was it possible she had been so gullible, so stupid as to imagine that Kristoffer had only been pretending to love her?
‘Dilys, did you hear what I said?’
Her father’s angry voice brought back her attention as she assured him she was listening.
‘Your mother will drive you to Chertsey after lunch on Wednesday. In the meantime, you will remain in your bedroom. The servants will be told that you are going into hospital for an overdue abdominal operation which, hopefully, will explain your present condition.’
Dilys caught her breath. ‘But surely when they see me with the baby they—’
She got no further before Sir Godfrey, now purple-faced, broke in sharply: ‘For heaven’s sake, girl, there will be no baby! It will be adopted. That is the whole purpose of The Willows establishment. You will be taken care of until after the birth, when it will be handed over to its future parents. It is extremely discreet and—’
‘No, Father, no!’ Dilys shouted. ‘I won’t let them have my baby. It’s mine … mine and Kristoffer’s and I don’t care what you say, he did love me and I loved him. I won’t let—’
Sir Godfrey banged his fist down on the desktop and said furiously, ‘Stop this nonsense immediately! Can you be so stupid as not to realize the harm you would be doing, not just to yourself but to your unfortunate twin, your mother and me if you came home with an illegitimate baby? The servants and our neighbours would be shocked beyond measure. As for my constituents, discovering that their chosen Member of Parliament who represented them was unable to control his own daughter’s immoral behaviour—’ He broke off momentarily, a look of horror on his face, then continued: ‘I’d be made a laughing stock … probably lose my seat at the next election or be asked to resign. Moreover, Dilys, what decent young man would consider marrying you in the future, let alone your unfortunate twin. Of course you cannot keep the baby!’ he shouted, his face now scarlet.
He was silent for a moment before finally he cleared his throat and, tightening his mouth, he ordered Dilys to go to her room and remain there.
Dilys was trembling but dry-eyed when Una came hurrying into their bedroom to find out what their father had had to say. Downstairs in the hall where she had been hiding behind the hatstand listening, she had heard his raised voice, his shouts and knew things had gone badly for her sister. Putting her arms round her twin, she hugged her, saying, ‘No matter what, Dil, I’ll be with you!’
Dilys returned the hug and, shaking her head, said sadly, ‘I don’t think you’d be allowed to come with me, Una. Not if they made me go to that place Father wants to send me – a place where they will take babies away after they’re born.’ She placed her hand on her stomach and added: ‘I can feel it moving, my baby, and … and I love it. Even if Kristoffer is engaged to another girl, it doesn’t stop me loving his baby. I won’t let anyone take it away. I don’t care what Father says! I’ll run away somewhere and get a job and earn money and manage somehow … I won’t let them take it!’
Una had been feeling anxious but now she was seriously concerned, realizing as she did that Dilys actually meant what she was saying. It was immediately clear to her that her twin meant what she had threatened to do and that there was no way she would be able to manage on her own if she left home.
‘I’ll help, of course, Dil,’ she said. ‘Maybe we could manage if I could get a job which pays a bit more than James does. But it wouldn’t just be food we’d have to buy: we’d have to find somewhere to live and pay for that, and clothes and things …’
Her voice trailed away as she started to realize how hopelessly ignorant both she and her sister were about such domestic expenses or housekeeping. Neither had been to a domestic science college as had some of their school friends. There was also the insurmountable difficulty that they were both minors and if their father chose to have them followed then, however far they went, they would be forced to go home. If that happened, Dilys’ baby would be taken away.
‘We need to make a plan,’ she said in as firm a voice as she could manage. ‘Just give me a bit of time to think how we could manage on our own.’ She put her arms around her twin’s ungainly figure, hugging her reassuringly as she vowed: ‘Somehow, Dil, I’ll find a way to help you keep your baby!’
Twenty-four hours later, leaving Dilys locked in the bedroom by their mother, Una caught the small steam train at Hannington village halt and rode the short journey to Fenbury. As she walked to the surgery from the station, the early April sun was shining on the newly opened green leaves of the beech trees, she heard the chattering of birds looking for nesting sites, and she thought that had it not been for Dilys’ dire predicament it would have been a day for rejoicing rather than anxiety.
Removing her warm overcoat, tam-o’shanter and gloves, she heard James call out to her from the small room where he performed operations. Although the surgery had only been open for half an hour, James was already operating on a dog with a broken leg and the reception room was already occupied by two women with their dogs. The one with the poodle was insisting that her dog was next to be seen and she was already late due to the emergency operation in progress; the other that her dachshund only needed the vet’s attention for a few minutes so she should be first to see James.
Una was still calming the women when James came out of the operating room, his face beaming.
‘The operation went really well despite me having no assi
stant.’ His smile broadened as he looked at Una. ‘Glad you’re here on time, young lady. The patient is in the recovery hut if you’ll go and take a quick look at—’
He got no further before both waiting customers were vying for his attention as they tried to push each other aside. In doing so, their two dogs became entangled by their leads. Una and James managed between them to separate the dogs and James was followed back into his surgery while Una was able to go and see James’ patient. When she reappeared he was talking to the fat woman now holding her equally fat cairn terrier. With a wink at Una, he said, ‘Be so kind as to give Mrs Forest our diet sheet for overweight dogs and a tin of that diet dog food, please, Miss Singleby.’ Una stifled her desire to giggle as the thought struck her – almost as certainly as it must have struck James – that the diet sheet would be as useful to the dog’s owner as it would be to her dog.
The second woman who had been obliged to wait her turn now followed James back into his treatment room. Within minutes she came out, her face rigid, and she stalked out of the door without speaking. James came back into the waiting room as Una returned and sat down at her desk. He was carrying her small black dachshund.
‘I suppose you don’t want to own a dog, Una, do you?’ he asked. ‘Do you know that wretched woman wanted me to euthanize this one. It’s only three years old and as healthy as you or me.’
Before Una could reply, he added bitterly: ‘The reason? Because it’s a dachshund, a German breed! Her husband, a veteran of the last war, won’t have it in the house now. It’s his dog; she didn’t want any dog in the first place!’ Seeing Una’s expression, he sighed. ‘This sort of thing happened in the last war, you know. I have a book somewhere by a vet called Buster Lloyd-Jones who describes how he had been asked to put down dozens of German breeds – dachshunds, shepherds, schnauzers, you name it. Healthy pets who never had or would harm a soul.’ He drew a deep sigh. ‘I told her I wouldn’t euthanize a healthy dog but I would try to find a home for him.’
Live the Dream Page 6