Dilys meekly followed the orders she was given obediently because of her near certainty that she would not be staying in the place for more than a week or two. Sitting down on the side of her bed, Dilys’ hands went to the now sizeable bump. The taut expression on her face softened as she whispered: ‘You’re safe now! No one is going to take you away from me.’ She paused for a moment, easing her back, which was aching quite often now with the weight of the baby, causing her to lean backwards. She wasn’t sure when it was due to be born but she sensed it would not be long now. Would James be able to manage everything in time for them to be married before her baby was born? she asked herself anxiously.
Her thoughts returned to her last night at home. She and Una had stayed awake a long time talking … mostly about James and how much older he was than her. Would he order her around the way their father did when he was at home? Most often the topic was James’ extraordinary offer to marry her, and was Una certain it was only because he disliked living on his own?
‘I think it isn’t just you he wants, Dil,’ Una had said sleepily. ‘I think he wants your baby! You know what he’s like with puppies and kittens. Remember that orphaned baby goat? He looked after that himself when the farmer said he hadn’t time and was going to get rid of it. James bottle-fed it just like a baby and I remember him saying how he had to get up in the night to feed it. It slept in the Keep Warm compartment in his Aga and he’d wake up to the sound of its little hooves tapping away on the kitchen floor while it bleated for him.’
Dilys had smiled as Una had said quietly, ‘Bet he’ll make a really good father for your baby, Dil.’
If Una was right about James being good to Kristoffer’s baby, Dilys thought as she prepared to go downstairs for afternoon tea, she wouldn’t mind living with a much older man. The thought calmed her and now she had more or less resigned herself to her future, she was able to accept that while she still loved Kristoffer, in spite of the fact that he was marrying another girl, she was going to be able to keep his baby thanks to the kind offer of marriage, albeit from another man.
EIGHT
Sir Godfrey remained in London for ten days, during which James waited impatiently to go to call on him at Hannington Hall to ask for his permission to marry Dilys. He was reasonably confident that her father would not refuse to give his consent. Although his veterinary practice was not one of the affluent upper-class professions, he was financially able to support a wife and child, and of an age to take on the responsibilities of marriage. He realized he would have to wait until the weekend to see Sir Godfrey but had used the afternoon Una had obediently left free of appointments to drive into Oxford to find out how quickly he could obtain a special licence. Although he discovered that he could get one within three weeks, he had been informed he would need to provide proof of Dilys’ identity as well as her father’s permission to marry him as she was still a minor.
Returning home later that afternoon, he told Una the marriage could take place provided he could produce Sir Godfrey’s agreement to it and asked her if she would relay the information to her sister.
Undaunted, Una waited until her mother had gone up to London for the day and then caught the train to Fenbury and walked purposefully to James’ house. She had taken a sheet of her father’s headed writing paper from his study with her. Using James’ typewriter, she typed out her father’s permission for her to visit Dilys, her mother having told her that visitors were normally disallowed in order to ensure maximum discretion for all concerned.
The next day Dilys was overjoyed to see her. They sat side by side on the edge of Dilys’ bed, their arms around each other.
‘I’m so glad to see you!’ Dilys said, her voice trembling. ‘Una, I was made to see the doctor who looks after the patients here, and he says my baby is due very soon, maybe in ten days’ time.’ She burst into tears.
Una said quickly, ‘It may still be all right, Dil! James has applied for the special licence. He still has to get Father’s permission but I’m sure—’
She got no further before Dilys interrupted. ‘Una, I can’t … I can’t marry James!’ she said harshly. ‘Mary warned me not to do it. She’s one of the girls here like me, only she isn’t a girl, she’s married with three children. I sit next to her in the dining room which is where we all meet for meals. Mary’s in a room with three other girls because her husband can’t afford for her to have a private room and—’
It was now Una’s turn to interrupt. ‘Hold on a minute, Dil. You just said she was married, so why is she having her baby adopted?’
Dilys drew a deep breath and then said, ‘Because it’s not her husband’s baby. She said she married her husband because he’d got her pregnant but she didn’t love him, and then she met a man she did love and they did it – you know, they went all the way like Kristoffer and me – and when her husband found out he said she’d got to get rid of it or he’d divorce her and keep the children. So she had to agree to have the baby adopted. She said it was awful having to be a proper wife to a man you didn’t love, and I’d be stupid to marry James because one day I might meet someone like Kristoffer I really did love and—’
Una’s face was a mask of dismay as she broke in, saying doubtfully, ‘Dil, you couldn’t manage on your own, and besides, James would be terribly disappointed. He said he was having a spare bedroom redecorated so it would be all fresh and pretty for the baby, and last Sunday he went up to the loft and brought down the rocking horse which had belonged to his little boy. And … and anyway, you know Father won’t change his mind and let you keep the baby.’
Dilys brushed the tears from her eyes and said tremulously, ‘Yes, I know, but I’ve made up my mind. I’ll have the baby here and then, immediately after it’s born, I’ll go away somewhere where Father can’t find me. Mary said I might be able to get a job as a maid in a hotel or as a waitress somewhere and find a poor woman to look after the baby when I was at work.’
For a moment, neither girl spoke, and then Una said forcefully, ‘Dil, you’d absolutely hate being a maid or a waitress, and anyway, I don’t think you could go anywhere where Father couldn’t find you. He could get a detective to search for you. Don’t you remember that story in the paper last year when detectives finally found that little boy who’d been missing for nearly a year? When you were found, Father would make you have the baby adopted and it would be even more awful because you would have got used to having it by then—’ She broke off momentarily and then put her arms round her twin. ‘Oh, Dil, darling, do you really hate the thought of marrying James? If you saw how excited he has been these past weeks, you’d realize how keen he is to marry you and not be on his own any more. I know he’s rather old but he’s one of the nicest people we’ve met. Everyone who comes to the surgery says what a kind, sympathetic person he is. I’m sure he’d make a wonderful father …’
She broke off as she saw Dilys draw a deep sigh before saying quietly, ‘But don’t you see, it wouldn’t be fair, Una. I couldn’t be a proper wife to him. I don’t love him. I’ll never love anyone but Kristoffer.’ She reached up and fingered the ring on its chain round her neck. She sounded so despairing, tears filled Una’s eyes.
‘Maybe if it hadn’t been for this wretched war, we could have gone back to Munich and found Kristoffer and told him about the baby. We have to face it, even if we did find him he might not want to marry you any more; not if he loves this other girl Father found out about.’
Dilys’ expression hardened as she whispered, ‘I’ve already thought about all that.’ She paused and then added sadly: ‘I truly believe Kristoffer did love me, Una, really loved me, but I suppose it just wasn’t the lasting kind of love. Remember how we used to have “Best Friends For Life” at school and we’d cut our fingers and exchange drips of blood and promise to be true to each other for ever! Yet a year later we were best friends with different girls!’
They both smiled. Then Una said anxiously, ‘What do you want me to tell James? Honestly, it seems to me
you don’t have much of an alternative as you are so certain you want to keep the baby. Whatever you decide you know I’ll do whatever I can to help.’
Dilys put her arms round her twin and hugged her. Her tone of voice was wistful as she said, ‘Mary made it sound possible for me to manage on my own, but of course she doesn’t know Father the way we do. You are quite right. When he found where I was he wouldn’t let me keep my baby.’ She drew another deep sigh, adding: ‘Oh, Una, if only I was twenty-one! If only there wasn’t a war and I could have gone to find Kristoffer! Do you honestly think it would be fair of me to marry James not loving him?’
Momentarily she had a brief flash of memory, of lying by the lake in the sun in Kristoffer’s arms, of feeling his lips on her breasts and the gentle way he eased himself into her and claimed her for his own.
The moment passed and even before Una spoke she knew what her twin would say – that she would be safe with James, her baby beyond her father’s reach and, according to Una, much loved by the man she’d married. Una had told her that James was not expecting them to be anything more than friends: that maybe it was even possible that one day in the future she would learn to love him. Most important of all, she reminded herself, he would love her baby who would otherwise have no father to care for it. Was Mary wrong in suggesting she would hate being married to a man she didn’t love? She had been perfectly happy without love before she’d known Kristoffer. She really didn’t want that kind of love, that intimacy, if it wasn’t with him. Maybe that was also the way James felt after his wife died. Maybe Una was right when she said he just needed someone to care for him and a child he could love as he had once loved his own little boy.
Quite suddenly, Dilys’ mind was made up. ‘All right, Una, I will marry James. I just hope the doctor was wrong when he said the baby would arrive in ten days’ time!’ She gave a sudden smile. ‘Matron doesn’t allow telephone calls except from husbands or parents, but maybe you could get a message to me as soon as you know if Father has agreed that James can marry me.’
Looking greatly relieved, Una nodded. ‘Oh, Dil, darling, I feel so much happier now I know that you are going to be safe. When you are living with James I’ll be able to see you every day when I’m working at the surgery, and I’m sure James said I can stay sometimes for supper and perhaps spend an occasional weekend with you. He’s such a kind person, I’m sure you will be happy living with him.’
Now that the decision was made, Dilys felt a swift sense of relief. All that really mattered, she told herself, was that as long as her father agreed to the marriage she would not be parted from her baby. For James’ sake, she would do her very best to forget Kristoffer and be a good wife to him.
‘It’s going to be all right, Dil. I can’t believe Father won’t let you marry James. If he did refuse I’d tell him that you were going to run away, then I’d tell the newspaper reporters. Just think, suppose a newspaper printed the story, Father being an MP and everything! I’m sure he’ll be only too glad to have it all settled quietly. Lots of people are getting married in a hurry now there’s a war on in case their fiancés are called up and have to go abroad to fight. So it won’t even look suspicious you being married so quickly. All we need is for Father to give his permission soon so you can be married before the baby is born.’
As it happened, James did get Sir Godfrey’s permission to marry Dilys and he obtained a licence for the wedding to take place two weeks later. It was none too soon as Dilys’ first labour pains began during the actual ceremony in the stark, businesslike appearance of the town hall. Una was the only witness other than an attendant clerk, neither Sir Godfrey nor his wife being present. Fortuitously, James had allowed Una time off the week before to buy what would be needed for the baby. Una had used her own money to buy those necessities which had been outlined for her by the attendant in the chemist. James himself had ordered her a cot, pram and the furnishings which went with them on the same day as Sir Godfrey had agreed to the marriage. He had also, he told Una, made arrangements with his elderly housekeeper, Mrs White, to spend an extra hour every morning giving Dilys any advice and help she might need. The day before the wedding, he’d said with a smile to Una, ‘Poor Mrs White nearly fell over when I told her I was getting married and that my future wife and I were expecting our first child at any minute! I’m afraid she was terribly shocked. Needless to say, I asked her if she would kindly keep the facts to herself. However, as she has been with me ever since I took over the practice when my wife died, I think she felt privileged that I had confided in her and trusted her not to gossip. She has seven children of her own so I’m sure she will be a fount of knowledge for Dilys.’
Una’s liking for James had grown even greater at his thoughtfulness, and her belief that her dearly loved twin was doing the right thing by marrying him even though he was so much older was reinforced. In any case, all Dilys cared about was keeping Kristoffer’s baby, so it really didn’t matter that she wasn’t in love with James, provided she liked him enough to live with him.
On her way back from the shopping expedition, it had suddenly struck her that before she and Dilys had gone to Munich they had always been united in everything they did, everything they experienced and felt. Now, quite suddenly, they had become two separate entities, Dilys having experienced real love and what it felt like to be having a baby. Was it ‘real love’, she asked herself, and if it was in Dilys’ case, had it been in her beloved Kristoffer’s case? Or had he gone back to Norway intending to marry his Norwegian childhood sweetheart? Maybe he had only imagined himself in love with Dilys. There was no other reason either she or Dilys could think of as to why he had not written to her. As Dilys had said, even if she had forgotten to put her address on the hurried note she’d left him, Herr Von Zwehl would have given their home address to him. It was of little help that although Dilys knew where Kristoffer’s pension was – in which street and in which building – she did not know the name or house number, still less the name of the owner. ‘I could take the right tram and walk there!’ Dilys had said sadly, ‘but I don’t know where to write to him.’
Now, Una thought, Kristoffer would almost certainly have returned to Norway. The latest news was that British troops had landed in Norway and were helping their army to fight the invading Germans. In all probability, he, too, was defending his country and had forgotten all about poor Dilys.
Una had not been surprised by their father’s consent to Dilys’ marriage. James was not one of his constituents and Dilys wouldn’t be living near enough for local people to gossip. Provided she kept away from Hannington Hall, Una had overheard him saying to her mother, in a year’s time no one would be suspicious about the age of Dilys’ baby. Meanwhile, neither he nor Lady Singleby would attend the wedding but he would put one hundred pounds into Una’s post office savings account on the understanding that she would be responsible for its sensible spending on her twin’s needs.
As Una stood behind Dilys and James when they repeated their vows, she noticed that Dilys clutched James’ arm from time to time as if she feared she was about to fall. When the moment came for the registrar to pronounce the couple man and wife, Una saw her clutch James’ arm again and whisper something to him. He nodded, helped her to the table where they both signed the register and then turned to Una.
‘Take Dilys out to the car,’ he ordered. ‘I’ll join you in a few minutes.’ He turned back to Dilys and in a low voice whispered, ‘Don’t be frightened! First babies very rarely arrive quickly. We’ll get you back to The Willows in plenty of time.’
Dilys was frightened. She knew she was to have her baby in the Home like all the other women, but the contractions seemed to be coming at regular intervals now and were extremely painful, so much so that she gave no thought to the fact that she had just been married. She was sitting beside Una in the back of James’ car and was clutching Una’s hand, her other hand on her stomach in the hope of lessening the pains. James was reassuringly quiet as he drove fast but saf
ely, overtaking the afternoon traffic wherever he could with a sharp warning blast of the horn.
When finally they arrived back at The Willows, Matron was also reassuring. They had a regular midwife on call, she told them, so Dilys would receive the best care. Her baby would be delivered in The Willows’ special birthing room arranged for the purpose, so that expectant mothers need not go to the hospital. Maximum privacy could be ensured, Una had explained to James, adding that forty-eight hours after a baby’s birth the new mother would return to her own room still with her baby for two days, after which it would be removed from its mother and given to its new parents.
‘Dilys is very, very fortunate, James, that you’re making it possible for her to keep her child, and I heard Father applauding the fact that you would be legitimizing it.’
Lady Singleby had introduced James to the matron when they had called to tell her that he and Dilys were getting married and that her daughter would be leaving with him after the baby’s birth and taking the baby with them.
Despite Mrs Marshall’s suspicions that James himself was responsible for getting the young girl pregnant, she did actually quite like him. Dilys, she reckoned, was a very, very lucky girl not to have been dumped, as so many of her patients were, by the men who had taken advantage of them.
Neither Dilys nor Una were aware that James had given the matron a handsome cheque ‘for her charitable work’ as he had termed it, while being somewhat cynically aware that it would probably line her personal pocket. All he had asked was that Dilys would have the very best care and comfort.
On midnight on her wedding day, after eleven hours of labour, Dilys gave birth to a baby, a girl with wisps of white-blonde hair and sky-blue eyes. When Una and James were allowed to visit her next morning, both leant over the crib to see the baby but only Una saw instantly why Dilys was looking so ecstatic. Despite the minor distortions of birth to her features, the baby was a living image of its father.
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