He did so at once. But his movements were mechanical, like those of a man who had received a stunning shock.
“Thank you,” she said quickly. “That might have been a nasty fall. Maybe you are right and I should go below.”
“Yes,” he agreed in a curt voice, releasing her as fast as he could. “Goodnight.”
*
When Shona awoke, the yacht was not moving. Looking through the porthole, she saw that they had reached Gibraltar.
It had taken her a long time to calm down the night before. Her mind had been full of confused thoughts. At last she had managed to fall asleep and had slept late.
Effie was already dressed and looking at her eagerly.
“Lionel says he’ll take me sightseeing,” she said.
“I thought he was confined to the ship.”
“Oh, his Lordship has relented. He says he knows Lionel will be all right if I am there to keep watch over him.”
“Really?”
“He is as good as gold with me.” Effie laughed.
“Perhaps I should have become a nanny. I seem to have a talent for it.”
Shona regarded her with amusement.
“Is that how Lionel thinks of you? As a nanny?”
“Well anyway, he does as I tell him. In fact,” Effie added with a twinkle, “he says he exists only to do my bidding.”
She said the last words with a theatrical air, then collapsed in giggles.
“He sounds like the perfect gentleman,” Shona observed wryly.
“Well it’s better than a man who calls you names and makes nasty accusations,” Effie replied.
From which remark Shona gathered that Jimmy was still occupying her thoughts.
“So can I go sightseeing?” she asked. “I’ll help you dress first.”
“I will manage by myself,” Shona assured her. “Go and enjoy yourself. But do not be back late. The Marquis may want to leave promptly.”
Effie beamed and rushed out.
Then Shona remembered how she had said ‘Lionel’. Not Mr. Hilton. Shona wondered if she was wise to encourage something that might again leave Effie with a broken heart.
She dressed and hurried to the dining room for breakfast, but found the Marquis had already eaten and left the yacht.
“His Lordship said he wanted to go to the shops,” the steward told her.
When she had nearly finished her meal, the Marquis himself appeared. He looked pale and tense, as he always seemed to, but he was composed, and there was no sign in his manner that he remembered that fateful night.
He greeted her with a pleasant smile and handed her a parcel.
“This is for you,” he said, “and I hope you will like it.”
“What is it?” Shona asked.
“Open it and see,” he told her.
She opened the parcel and found one of the exquisite Chinese shawls which were always on sale in Gibraltar.
“Thank you, thank you,” she said in delight. “I will enjoy wearing it, and I am sure that every woman who sees it round my shoulders will be envious.”
The Marquis laughed.
“I hope so,” he said. “I certainly think you will look very attractive in it.”
Then he turned away quickly, as though afraid that he might have said something to offend her.
“Your nephew has taken Effie out sightseeing,” Shona informed him. “I told her not to be late back, for I was sure you would want to depart promptly.”
“And I am sure she will be very conscientious about it,” the Marquis observed with a wry smile. “Lionel, however, is never conscientious about anything and left to his own devices will be very late back.”
“Oh dear!”
“Don’t worry. We can afford a little time. So why don’t we go out together and see the apes? They are more often than not hovering near the shops. They look so attractive, I feel sure you would like to see them.”
“Of course I would love to see them,” Shona replied.
They took a carriage around the streets of Gibraltar and she relaxed, sensing a change in him. She was not sure what had caused it, but several times she caught him looking at her, with a slightly puzzled expression on his face.
At last they stopped at an outdoor restaurant, overlooking the sea. He ordered coffee and cakes.
“I wanted to get away from the others,” he said, “because there are some issues I want to discuss with you. But now I can remember none of them.”
“Perhaps you had some notes you wanted to give me?” she suggested. “I am sure it is about time we did some work on your book.”
The Marquis pondered.
“Oh yes, the book,” he replied.
“We are writing a book, aren’t we?” she asked.
“Yes, of course we are – ”
“Only I am not using any of those languages you are employing me to speak, except at the church, and that – ”
“That was nothing to do with the book,” he interjected. “But there is no hurry. I may get distracted with other matters.”
“What – kind of other matters?” she asked cautiously.
“Trying to persuade you to confide in me, for example, because I tell you frankly that I do not believe a word you have said to me.”
Shona remained silent and he said,
“Now I have offended you. That was not my intention. But ever since we met you have pretended to be somebody else. You have tried to persuade me that you are middle-aged, which you are not. And dowdy, which you are not either.”
For a moment it was on the tip of her tongue to tell him everything, including the fact that she was falling in love with him.
And this was the danger. Once she started to talk, she would not be able to stop and there were things she must not say to him.
“Let us just say that I was considering the proprieties,” she said. “We could not have travelled together without some little pretence on my part.”
“Is that all there is to it?” he asked, with a little frown.
“What else could there be?”
“I was hoping that you would tell me.”
When she did not speak again he gave a sigh.
“Perhaps I hoped for too much, too soon. Things have happened – things I cannot explain – ”
He broke off abruptly. What he said was all too true, for how could he explain what had happened to him that night?
When the lurch of the ship had flung her against him, her body had felt familiar. He had known at once that he had embraced her.
And he had.
But only in his illusion.
In that wild dream that had come to him he had embraced Angela, his true love, but Angela had turned into Shona.
Shona’s build was different to Angela’s, stronger, more – delicacy made him hesitate, but at last he used the word, more voluptuous.
For a blinding moment he had held her shapely form against him and had kissed her wide, generous mouth. And when fate threw her into his arms again, he had known it was the same woman.
Except that it was impossible.
For if there was one thing more certain than any other, it was that he had been alone in his cabin that night.
Now he became alarmed, as though his thoughts about her might somehow show in his face.
She would guess and be justly furious.
She would leave him.
And she must not do that.
He tried to pull himself together and reason with himself.
He needed to keep her with him for a practical reason. The purpose for which he had brought her on this journey had not yet been fulfilled. That was all.
But he knew there was another reason why she must not be allowed to leave him.
He wanted to rage against Heaven. All these years he had lived without love and been content to do so.
And now, when he might be about to commit a terrible deed that would put him beyond the pale, love had come dancing softly back into his life, with its inti
mations of joy and warmth, sapping his resolution, reminding him of all he would give up.
Shona was looking at him. Her eyes were puzzled and – did he imagine it? – a little anxious.
“What do you mean?” she asked. “What has happened?”
“Nothing. Nothing. Let us say no more. I do not wish to annoy you.”
“You could not annoy me,” she said quickly. “But I think we should go back to the ship.”
“Of course,” he said, his shoulders sagging slightly.
They arrived on board to find that Effie and Lionel were not yet back. They finally returned, in high spirits, weighed down by parcels. Lionel had been buying her gifts.
“Effie do be careful,” Shona warned worriedly, as they were dressing for dinner.
“Don’t you fret, miss. He’s just like a little puppy dog,” Effie said calmly. “Besides, it serves Jimmy right.”
“Does it?”
“I told you, he accused me of knowing the wrong sort of bloke, the sort ‘no decent girl would have anything to do with.’ That’s what he said, and he would not believe me when I told him he was wrong. So perhaps it’s time I did what he said. Then we’ll be all square.”
“But he won’t know,” Shona pointed out. “And if you and he should happen to meet up again – ”
“I am sure I don’t care about that, miss,” Effie replied with a sniff.
Shona was obliged to give up.
Over dinner Lionel was full of jokes and laughter, and afterwards he insisted on them all going to the saloon, where he played a selection of ditties on the little piano.
“What shall I play next?” he demanded at last.
“Nothing,” said Effie, who could see that Shona and the Marquis had had as much as they could endure. “Come and show me the stars.”
She seized his hand and almost forced him up on deck. The others breathed a heavy sigh of relief.
“My nephew!” the Marquis exclaimed with disdain. “Now perhaps you will understand why I did not want to bring him with us.”
Shona laughed.
“Do you play the piano yourself?”
“Very badly,” he answered, “and very noisily. How about you?”
“I do play, but as you did not mention it, I thought it would be rather forward of me to suggest it.”
“I didn’t ask because I thought you might feel embarrassed if you could not play,” the Marquis replied.
“We are being much too polite to each other,” Shona said. “Let me be honest, I would love to play the piano and if you think I make a terrible noise, you are to be frank and tell me so.”
“But you do enjoy playing?”
“Actually I love the piano and I play it at home, but my step-father said he disliked music of any sort, so I only played when he was away.”
In the brief silence that followed she wondered if the Marquis would notice her slip. She was supposed to be a widow, living in lodgings, and the mention of her step-father had been a mistake.
But the Marquis did not seem to have noticed.
“It’s a very pretty little piano,” she said, to distract him.
“My grandmother gave it to me. It is old and very valuable. She kept it in an excellent condition simply because she was very proud of it and had, in her time, asked a great number of talented musicians to play for her.”
“So you were brought up to appreciate music?” Shona asked.
“My grandmother insisted on it,” the Marquis replied.
“I love music. I have a feeling that you love it too.”
Shona smiled but she did not answer.
She merely sat down at the piano and very gently ran her fingers over the keys.
Then as the Marquis settled himself comfortably into an armchair, she played one of the old tunes she had loved as a child.
It had also been a favourite with her mother.
She was thinking of her mother and how happy they had been before her father had died.
As she played she changed from one tune to another.
Every melody she played made her recall the great love which her father and mother had felt for each other.
At last she stopped and her hands dropped into her lap.
As she turned round to look towards the Marquis, she realised she had been playing for quite a long time.
She had, for the moment, forgotten his very existence.
She looked at him. For a moment he did not speak.
Then he said,
“Why did you not tell me you are a musician? Listening to you has made me feel happier than I have been for a long time.”
“I am so glad,” Shona replied. “Music should always reflect the player’s mood. While I was playing I was thinking how happy I was as a child and how happy my mother was until my father died.”
A shadow crossed his face.
“Happiness always dies, doesn’t it?” the Marquis said quietly. “We should never forget that.”
“But that isn’t true,” Shona responded fervently. “Happiness does not always die.”
“You are mistaken,” he said in a voice that was suddenly harsh. “It is an illusion, soon dispelled. Have you not discovered as much for yourself? How long were you married?”
“I – I cannot talk about that,” she faltered.
“Forgive me. I should not have asked. But I know that you understand grief. I could sense it when we were in that burned out church.”
He rose and poured himself another drink. Then he began to pace the saloon.
“You understood everything, didn’t you?” he asked sombrely.
“I think you were the bridegroom Pierre told us about.”
“Yes,” he said sharply. “I was the bridegroom. It was as Pierre said, we were children embarking on an adventure. We were young and in love and we thought that love was the answer to everything.
“She was already betrothed, against her will, to a man called George Acton. He was an evil, dissipated creature, but enormously rich.
“Her father desired the match because of the money. He would have dragged Angela to the altar by her hair if necessary. He did all he could to drive me away. Once he even set the dogs on me.”
“He sounds a horrible man,” Shona agreed, “but I do not understand his hostility towards you. Surely a Marquis would have satisfied his ambitions better than anything?”
“You are right. And if I had been a Marquis then, I dare say he would have looked on me with favour.
“But my father was still alive and he controlled the purse strings. He didn’t want me to marry Angela because she had no title or money. He had three possible brides lined up for me, all of them from ducal families.
“When I fell in love with Angela, he cursed me and shut off my allowance. He said it would stay that way until I ‘came to my senses’. So I had no way of persuading my father. Money was all he cared about.
“My friends came to my rescue, loaning me money to keep me afloat while I fought it out. With their help, Angela and I managed to escape and make our way to Calais, where we married.
“But Acton was hot on our heels. At first we fled him because we didn’t want to be bothered with him. But then I wanted to stop running and face him. I thought perhaps he did not realise that we were married, and when he knew, he would give up.
“I wonder now how I could have been such a naïve fool, but that was what I thought. Angela disagreed. She knew him better than I. But in the end I had my way.”
He stopped, shuddering.
“If only I had listened to her, she might be alive now,” he growled hoarsely.
He fell silent and stayed silent for some time, shaking with the violence of his suffering. At last Shona placed her hand on his arm.
“What happened?” she asked gently.
“We waited for him and faced him defiantly. I told him there was nothing that he could do. I can still see him, standing there, looking at me with an evil grin on his face. Then he pulled out a pistol and fir
ed.”
“He claimed to love her and he fired at her?” Shona exclaimed, aghast.
The Marquis laughed grotesquely. It was a cruel and bitter sound and almost on the edge of madness.
“Not at her. At me.”
He rounded on her, eyes glittering. “I was the one he wanted to kill. Then he would have dragged her away with him. I told you she knew him better than I. She was ready for it. She saw his move before I did and flung herself against me, knocking me out of the way of his bullet.”
Shona could not speak for the horror that was growing in her.
“The bullet struck her instead,” he said. “She died in my arms, and our unborn child – both victims of my stupidity. When Acton saw what he had done, he fired again, trying to kill me too. Would that he had succeeded!
“But the bullet only grazed my cheek. He didn’t stay to try again. He heard the servants coming and ran.
“I would have pursued him but Angela was still alive. As I cradled her I begged her forgiveness. She only had breath enough left to repeat our vows of love, for this world and the next. Then she died.
“Since that day I have hunted him throughout the world. Nor will I stop until I have found him. How can I rest while he lives free and unpunished, while she lies cold in her grave?
“I must pursue him until I find him. No other life is possible for me. If it was possible – ”
He turned to look at her and there was something in his eyes that she had not seen before.
It was a glowing intensity that seemed to beckon to her. It made her heart beat faster and her breath catch in her throat.
“If it was possible – ” he repeated slowly.
“If it was possible?” she whispered.
After a long, agonising pause he gave a sigh from the depths of his being.
“I cannot allow myself to think of that,” he said heavily. “I must not – I dare not – ”
He drained his glass of whisky and reached for the bottle.
“Yes,” he said, catching her looking at him. “I am drinking too much, aren’t I? Sometimes it is the only way to deal with the ghosts. Recently the ghosts have been very strange.”
He regarded her with an unfamiliar glitter in his eyes.
“I have imagined things that could not possibly be,” he said.
He saw her looking at him, puzzled “You don’t know what I am talking about, do you?”
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