“Did he tell you my stepmother cut her hand yesterday? He gave her stitches right there in the kitchen. He was so impressive and in his element. He’s making a huge mistake training for his real estate license. That isn’t what he wants. I know it. He’s so stubborn and apprehensive. I hoped it would give him a little boost. If it did, he’s a good actor, playing cool.” I’m pissed just talking about it.
“That’s interesting. He didn’t mention it to me yet. Let’s see if he brings it up when we’re all together. We’re disappointed about the career change, but we need to be supportive. He’s trying to find himself again, but it’s taking a long time. I want to say be patient with him for a little while longer. But we understand when enough is enough. Worry about yourself and your residency. That’s your priority.”
“I saw a picture of James and Jessica in the living room. It was hard to look at. It hurt a lot. Yesterday was such a great day, but today seems off. I’m on Jessica’s territory now. She spent a lot of time here. It has to be weird for him to be here with me.”
“I don’t know what to say to make you feel better.” There’s that face of sympathy I can’t stand. I have seen it too many times in my life.
“I don’t expect you to. But it’s difficult. I’m in love with him, Alexa. I know deep down inside I am. It’s hard for me to admit this to you. I haven’t even told him yet because I know he isn’t ready to hear it. I keep questioning whether it’s too early to say it. I’m waiting for him. Maybe I’ll need to walk away so he can work it out himself.”
“I know you’re in love with him. We see how you act toward him. I truly believe you are meant to be together. After everything you both have gone through, I can’t imagine you will drift apart. After meeting you, he has changed from night to day. It’s amazing how one person can bring you so far down you feel you can never survive, but then another person can lift you as high as the stars. You have done that for him. Be patient.”
I want so badly to believe her.
“You’d better be right, or you’ll owe me a new pair of expensive shoes. Not red though. I’m not sure I can pull off wearing red shoes.”
“That’s a deal.” We shake hands and walk down the hallway toward the stairs.
“Thanks for letting me vent. My chest feels lighter now.”
“No problem. That’s what I’m here for. This is why I don’t have serious relationships. It’s too exhausting.” She pushes her hair behind her ears.
“I need to go downstairs and find James. I feel like we have gotten lost in this big house.” I laugh but wonder if we’re avoiding each other.
I find James in the living room, not the great room, looking out of the large bay window facing the covered swimming pool. At what, I have no idea. I sneak up behind him and wrap my arms around his solid waist. He moans softly and puts his hands over mine.
“We seemed to have lost each other in this big house. It’s a beautiful home. Sometimes big houses have a cold feeling to them. Not this house. It’s so welcoming and warm. It has a country feel to it. Isn’t it too big for your parents to live here by themselves?”
“Dad had not a cent in his pocket when he started his business. He’s proud to have come this far financially. We were a little nervous with the house crisis years back. His business was hit, but it slowly picked back up. They love this house and don’t want to sell it. Would you want a house like this when you’re finished with your residency and finally start making more money?”
“I don’t need a house this big, because I won’t have a family to fill it,” I say, more bluntly than I intended. It hurts to say the truth out loud. “I would love to have a house big enough to run a practice out of it. Maybe a house with two or three bedrooms, like my dad’s. In all honesty, I don’t think so far ahead. I still have a long road ahead of me.”
He turns around and puts his arms around me, laying his chin on my head.
“Did you and Jessica want a big house like this?” I say it and then recoil.
His arms squeeze me tightly. “We talked about it but knew it would take a while to make good money for a house this big. I don’t need a big house. She wanted it more than I did, especially if we had more children. I would be happy living in a smaller house. Status and money were never a goal in my life. I just wanted to do what I loved. As you and I have experienced, we don’t always get what we want.”
We stand there in silence. I can’t let his comment about having more children bother me. That was before she died. Yet, now, he says he doesn’t think he could ever have another child.
This visit is depressing us. He has memories here. He doesn’t at my dad’s house or most of the places we visit. This was bound to happen. I just wish it wasn’t this weekend.
With that in mind, I pull away and say brightly, “Where’s your family? I feel like we’re alone here. Aren’t we being a little rude?”
“Since it stopped raining, Dad set up the fire pit on the open terrace. Everyone is outside sitting under blankets on the Adirondack chairs. Enjoying the warmth from the fire and, I’m sure, some cocktails.”
“It sounds like fun. Let’s get our coats and join them.”
He squeezes his arm around me and tugs me with him. It makes me feel a little bit of relief, but why do I feel a storm is brewing?
Chapter 43
James
The months are flying by. I’ve had my real estate license for a month now. I travel back and forth to Dad’s office to learn on the job. It keeps me busy, and I’m finally making money. I stay at my parents’ when I work. The time with Lisa is limited. I miss her. Being away from her has made me realize how attached I have become to her and how much she truly means to me.
It’s Valentine’s Day, and I have decided to surprise her with a candlelight dinner. She hates this day because it’s the anniversary of the car accident. But it’s also the anniversary of the first time we met. It’s time to change the way she feels about this day.
I’m waiting in front of her apartment door, shivering, with a bouquet of different-colored tulips. She knows I will never give her roses. I want to ask her to come with me to Alexa’s place. We’d have the apartment to ourselves tonight because Alexa is away until tomorrow. We always stay here, so I thought it would be nice to have a change. She had a stomach virus a couple of days ago. I hope she’s feeling better and can eat.
She should be home any minute. I feel like an idiot standing here with a bouquet of flowers in my hand. Guys stare at me when they walk past me. Of course, the girls smile because I look romantic. I turn toward the sidewalk when I hear footsteps. When she sees me, her face lights up with the smile I miss. I can’t help but smile right back.
“James, what are you doing here? What a special surprise! I thought you were at your parents’.” Her cheeks are red from the cold.
I smile and hand her the tulips. “Happy Valentine’s Day. I thought I would surprise you. I’ve missed you.”
She takes the bouquet and leans in for a kiss. “No one has ever given me flowers. They are absolutely beautiful.” She squeezes them tight to her chest. “Thank you. This is a real first. You make me feel so special.”
“The flowers are not all. I would like you to come back to Alexa’s for the night. She won’t be back until tomorrow. I’d like to make you dinner, if it’s okay.”
“It’s more than okay. I would love to. Let me pack some things. I’ll take a shower there. I’m so excited.” She walks happily into her apartment. I follow her in, and she goes directly to the kitchen to grab a sea-green vase. She makes a nice bouquet and runs into her room. Within ten minutes we’re out the door.
She goes directly into the shower when we arrive. That gives me time to set up the table and get the food prepared. I hope she likes what I’m making. I’m not a good cook, but she mentioned a food she likes. It was a staple when I was in college and medical school.
As soon as I hear the shower turn off, I light candles in the living room and kitchen. Champagne cool
s on the table, and the lights are dim. I have never done something like this before. Not even for Jessica. I know how much Lisa will appreciate this. I want to see her surprised and happy.
She opens the door while towel drying her hair. She freezes. Her jaw drops. The towel falls to the floor. Her hands go to her face. “James, I don’t know what to say. I have never been more surprised.” Her eyes are big pools of sapphires.
“I wanted to do something nice for you. You’ve been working so hard and are so supportive of me. You deserve to be treated like a queen. You dread this date every year, so I want to try to change that for you.”
I pull out a chair facing the living room. “Please take a seat. You can’t look into the kitchen. As you have experienced, I don’t cook very well. But there’s one thing I’m good at making. It’s something I think you’ll laugh at when you see it. Let me open the champagne so you can relax with a glass while I make dinner. It won’t take too long.”
I pour her a glass. She puts her hand up to gesture it’s enough. “I can’t drink too much tonight because I need to be at work by twelve tomorrow instead of three p.m. So annoying.”
“That’s too bad. I was hoping to get you drunk and take advantage of you.”
“You can take terrible advantage of me with or without the alcohol. I won’t mind.”
“Happy Valentine’s Day, my little Jersey girl. Sorry, petite Jersey girl.” We clink our glasses together. I drink some, then put my glass down, lean over, and press my lips against hers. “Hmmm. You taste good.” I lick her lips. Before she can react, I walk away toward the kitchen.
“You are such a tease!”
I laugh. “How are you feeling? I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you when you were sick. Do you feel better now?”
“My appetite is back, but once in a while I get this weird pain in my abdomen. Maybe it’s from standing all day. I only feel the pain when I move a certain way. It’s probably a pulled muscle. My period is also weird. I spot once in a while, and that’s it. It happened yesterday, and nothing today. It’s normal for me to an extent. Since the accident, I’ve never had a normal period. No big deal. Maybe we’re having too much sex.” She smirks over her shoulder.
“No peeking! There’s no such thing as too much sex. I can’t help it I can’t keep my hands off you. If you could only read my mind about what I fantasize about when you are near me.”
“Don’t make me attack you before you even feed me. I’m starving.” She playfully threatens me.
“Be patient. I’ll let you do that to me later.” She drives me nuts. I would do anything to press her against the wall and make her love Valentine’s Day.
She probably knows what I’m cooking. The smell of butter and bread frying in a pan fills the apartment. “Dinner is ready. Close your eyes. I want it to be a surprise. But you probably already know what it is just by the smell.”
She wiggles in her chair like a little girl.
“I have an idea, but I’m not going to say. If it’s what I think it is, you really do listen to the little details.”
I place the dish in front of her. “You can open your eyes.”
She opens them and starts laughing. “Oh my gosh. I knew you made me a grilled cheese sandwich. You remembered what I told you about my mom.” She grabs my hand and looks at me with so much emotion in her eyes. “You are so thoughtful. I can’t believe you did this for me.”
She stands up and hugs me. “This is the best surprise after the long week I’ve had. I can’t say thank you enough. It’s so special to me. It’s better than any five-star restaurant. I swear I could cry. I’m a bit emotional these days. Let me try this sandwich to see how it compares to my mom’s. I can still remember the taste of hers.” She sits back down.
“I feel so much pressure. I hope it’s close.” I watch as she takes a bite.
She stops midchew, closes her eyes and moans in delight.
“It’s that good, huh?” I smile with pride.
“Absolutely perfect. It’s not the same as my mom’s, but I don’t expect it to be. It’s cooked by you, so that makes it my favorite now. It’s truly excellent. The cheese oozes out of the sides, and the bread is perfectly crisp and buttery. Yummy! Do you have any ketchup?”
“You eat yours with ketchup?” I crinkle my nose. “I never tried it with ketchup.”
“I don’t really like ketchup, but I eat it with grilled cheese sandwiches and hotdogs for some reason. But the ketchup needs to be mixed with spicy, hot mustard when I eat hotdogs.”
“Good to know for when barbeque season starts. Now let me get some ketchup for you and grab my sandwich. I’ll be right back.” I hear her moan again as she munches. I need to pat myself on the back.
I put mine on a plate. I turn on the CD player and start a song I know she’ll like. It’s a classic. I sit at the table with her. “Lisa, I know you hate this specific day. I know what it represents. But it’s also the anniversary of the first time we met. February fourteenth holds bad memories, but the one positive is us. Maybe we can think of this day differently. It can be sad but also happy.”
Her head perks up when she hears the song. She steps away from the table and comes and straddles me. She puts her arms around my neck. “You are the sweetest and best man I know. I can’t fully describe how much this night means to me. You make me so happy. This song is one of my favorites since I was little. Bruce Springsteen’s ‘Jersey Girl.’”
“This song reminds me of you. You are my true Jersey girl. In the summer, we should go down the shore. I haven’t been there since high school. We can walk along the beach, go to the boardwalk, and eat cotton candy. It’ll be hard to resist you when you’re wearing a bathing suit though. What do you say?”
“It sounds perfect. Everything is perfect.” She brushes her lips against mine.
“Do you want another grilled cheese?” I ask as my hands wander down her back, pulling her against me.”
“It depends. What’s for dessert?” She trails kisses along my jaw.
“Dessert will be served anywhere in this apartment. I don’t think we’ll be thinking about grilled cheese for long when you see what I have planned.”
“I say no to another grilled cheese. Dessert sounds more enticing. Is chocolate involved?”
“As a matter of fact, it is. In the liquid form.” She sits there watching me. Her eyes look like blue crystals as they glisten in the candlelight.
I push my hand through her hair. “You are so beautiful in every way. I don’t know how to tell you in words how I feel about you. I’m so lucky I found you.”
“Well, I can help you show me.” She opens the top two buttons of her shirt. She pulls the fabric away, revealing a sexy black bra.
I swallow deeply.
“I’m starving for dessert,” she says seductively as she traces her finger down my chest and toward my jeans.
As if on cue, she pulls my shirt off in one movement. I stand up with her legs wrapped around my waist. We kiss in desperation, as if it’s the last time we will see each other. She pulls her shirt off as I push her up against the wall. I pull her bra to the side. My mouth starts teasing and biting until she’s squirming in delight.
“This is one of my fantasies tonight. I could have taken you against the wall while I was cooking, but I knew the anticipation would be better if we waited.”
“We have too many clothes on! They need to be off, now!” she demands in passion.
I slide her down the wall so I can obey her sexy order. I yank down her pants and mine and have her up against the wall in five seconds flat.
I kiss and lick all over her chest and neck. She digs her nails into my shoulders while gliding on me.
“I’m so needy. I have missed you so much, James. It’s been too long.” She doesn’t have to say it twice.
I’m more rough with her this time, but she seems even more turned on by it.
“It feels so good, James. Don’t stop. My body has a mind of its own. It wants to consu
me you. I can’t get enough of you.”
I grab her mouth with mine, hoping she feels how my body belongs to her. That my hammering heart beats for her. That I am 100 percent hers and only hers.
Chapter 44
Lisa
We have never been this aggressive. It’s the hottest thing ever. I love that he is strong enough to hold me up against the wall. He makes me feel like a feather. He makes me feel a lot of things. With every move we make, our hearts speak to each other. Things we are afraid to say out loud.
The way he kisses me, holds on to me tightly, treats my body like paradise, shows me his love for me.
Breathing heavily, I say, “James, I need the bed.”
He holds me in place as he walks us to his bedroom. We are connected as one, just how I want us to always be. He slowly lowers himself onto the bed and lays back while I’m still on top of him.
“Should I get the chocolate syrup?” he says with a husky voice.
“No! I never want to separate from you, ever. I love feeling you in this way.”
His hips lift to entice me. “Does this feel good?” he asks through gritted teeth with forced restraint. He leans up on his elbows as I start to glide up and down. His movements mimic mine. I can’t find the words to describe what’s happening between us. His forest-green eyes strip me bare of any worries or insecurities.
“You take my breath away. I could watch you all day when you look high on me,” he says in between teasing movements. “Take control of me. Let me watch you as you let go.”
He doesn’t have to say any more. My body takes control of his before my mind can catch up. I do things to myself I never thought I would be brave enough to do in front of a man. Where is the old me? I hope she never comes back. With his glistening eyes, he watches every movement I make. It empowers me, knowing it’s me he wants to devour. I stay at a slow pace so I can beautifully torture him.
I’m stark naked in front of him, and I don’t mean without clothes. Every one of my walls have been burnt down since we met. He has helped me become the woman I have always wanted to be but never thought was possible.
Lives Collide (Collide #1) Page 26