by Wyatt, Dani
I’ve left the business in any official capacity, but Erik and my sister insisted I keep drawing a salary. I also have a lot of zeros behind my company profit sharing account, but I only use that now for donations and contributions to the rehabs I support. I’m starting a scholarship sort of deal with three of the best rehabs across the country. The ones where the fucking celebrities go when they need to dry out, the best places. The programs that actually work, where you’re not a junkie, you’re just a hero in need of a rest. But the real addicts, the folks on the street with nothing and no one, don’t get to go to those facilities. No money, no help. I want to change that.
“You earned your checks, man. You turned this business around in the last ten years. I just hope I don’t fuck it up. You ever want to come back, no questions. The whole wine business thing with Cindy—” He laughs and pushes back in his chair with a knowing grin. “We both know you’re just there to get her started. Hell, you don’t even drink...”
He busts out with a hearty laugh as I back away toward the closed door, anxious to get back outside in the fresh air. I’m done. The room starts to feel smaller and smaller, and my heart is starting to pump faster knowing the sympathetic stares and averted eyes I’m going to get from the staff when I walk back toward the elevator.
“Hey, it’s something to do. Cindy needed some help. I’m a glorified gopher over there, but if she needs me, I’ll stick around for as long as she wants.”
“So now both of you are off doing your wine thing and I’m here steering the ship. Not sure that’s what Dad had in mind when he left the company to all of us.”
“Cindy never cared about blowing shit up. She’s happy as hell now that she’s bought the distributorship.”
She’s doing well. She has around seventy employees and the new building is almost ready. The warehouse is state of the art. Ten sections kept at perfect temperatures for the different kinds of wine. Fuck if I know anything about it, but she’s in hog heaven. I just do what I’m told and that’s fine for now. Keeps me busy. I can even bring my two mutts, Tinder and Leopold along to the offices.
I’m almost to the door when I turn around one last time to see Erik look at his watch then his fingers click on his keyboard.
“Okay.” Erik stops typing and reaches up to the ceiling, stretching and leaning side to side. “Well, I have work to do. You go run your little errands for sissy and take care of those in need and those vicious dogs of yours. I’ll be here blowing shit up.”
As I turn, I can’t help but think of where I want to be. Who I want to be talking to. I step forward, my gait slightly off balance. My fingers grip the cool metal handle of the door and a rush of blood streams down south. I know when I leave here my next stop will be to see her.
I lean to my right. The pressure from my prosthetic needs adjusting. Finding a specialist that could form fit and teach a six-foot-seven-inch, three-hundred-and-seventeen-pound man how to walk again with the bottom of one leg blown off hasn’t been an easy road.
Erik pushes back from his place behind the desk and steps forward as I start to open the door. I pivot taking one quick look back his way. Squinting into the morning sun as it streams through the floor-to-ceiling windows.
“One more thing.” His voice changes, the lightness gone.
He nods slightly and looks down at a thick folder at the corner of the desk. For some reason he can’t meet my eyes.
Our mutual discomfort heightened by the fact that one black boot is sticking out from under the hem of my charcoal gray slacks. Where the other boot should be, there’s just slick, curved metal.
“We settled the last of the claim.” He flips up the corner of the folder, then closes it again. “It’s done. I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I wanted you to know. It wasn’t your fault, but we settled and accepted all of their terms just as you asked. Now, you just need to settle it with yourself, Magnus. It was an accident. You weren’t at fault.”
I sniff. My hand tenses on the door handle, the veins traversing the bones leading to each finger in thick rivers. My desire to turn the knob falters as the words tumble out of my mouth. “Tell that to Sarah Templeton.” My head starts to pound. “Oh wait, you can’t, can you?”
I force my wrist to turn my hand.
The click of the handle, the blast of air as I jerk open the door. I feel like I’m watching the whole thing from somewhere else. The irony of the entire situation is that Sarah’s piece of shit mother came out of the woodwork after her daughter died. Found some TV attorney to take her case of wrongful death against me and the corporation. Erik wanted it to go to trial, but I put my foot down. We paid off that worthless bitch because there was no way I was letting Sarah’s name be dragged through the mud. Her mother did jack shit for her until she was dead, then all of a sudden she was the grieving, long suffering, maternal figure. Sarah deserves some peace, even now. The ancillary benefit of settling out of court was it kept both Sarah and the entire sad event out of the media.
I shoot off one final barb. “Doesn’t feel settled to me.”
Erik shakes his head and looks down, but I finally walk away. I turn the corner out of his office away from the elevators and onto the stairs, sparing us all the forced smiles and averted eyes on my way out.
Chapter Two
CHASTITY
The sound of breaking glass doesn’t even turn my head anymore. Working as a picture framer, the back room at the gallery is a mixture of nail guns, glass crashing in the scrap bucket, the lame piped in gallery music, and low conversations between co-workers.
My friend Andrea works here with me at Westwood Gallery and Framing. She was a model for a while, and trained as a flight attendant after high school except the airline went belly up before she could start.
We met at the Humane Society on one of my volunteer days and she was there doing some court ordered community service. She made a bad decision one night and egged an ex-boyfriend’s car with four dozen eggs. Found out that was what’s known as a misdemeanor. We bonded over homeless mutts, tragic rescue intakes, and cleaning cat boxes.
Someday I’d love to have my own rescue shelter. Save all the animals I can’t save there.
I was unemployed when we met. Taking care of Mom had kept me busy for the most part, but when money started becoming even more of an issue, she encouraged me to step out. She knew I needed the push. Andrea helped me get the job here at the gallery, even though I had zero retail or picture framing experience. She’s as close to a best friend as I have.
As close to any friend as I have. Moving seven times before I turned sixteen didn’t lay the ground work for building lasting friendships. Toss that in the blender with my facination with Disney princess movies, my voluptous shape, and my brain’s unique way of evaporating my power of speech around strangers, and you can safely say I was far from winning any popularity contests.
Andrea is typing away on her phone standing next to me while I work on a family photo. She looks like a cross between Whitney Houston and Heidi Klum, minus about eight inches in height. Oh, and the freckles. She has a nose full of them, and flawless, deep olive skin with runway-model cheekbones. Yeah, she’s that girl. The one men will break their neck to ogle. And whenever we are together, I’m definitely her wing-man.
Woman.
Wing-woman? Is that a word?
Well, I may be on her wing, but I don’t feel like a woman. I’m grown up on the outside, but not on the inside. Not much about being an adult appeals to me to be honest. I’m tough when I need to be. I can take care of myself and others, but deep inside, I wish someone would take care of me.
The thing that drew me to Andrea at first was when I told her my favorite movie she didn’t laugh in my face. Almost anything Disney will have me snuggled on the couch, wide-eyed with anticipation. But then there’s Beauty and the Beast. I can recite every line in my sleep. Sing every song with gleeful emotion into my hairbrush, hopping from my bed to the floor, spinning around and around. I’m not a
fraid of a dramatic drop to my knees either for the big finish.
Favorite food? I’d go with cotton candy and cupcakes if it wouldn’t rot my teeth and send me into a sugar coma. I’m a fan of Mac and Cheese as long as the pasta noodles are shaped like cartoon characters or circus animals.
I sleep with more stuffed animals than pillows, and I still have to have a nightlight too. Not just any nightlight either, but the one that casts pink stars around it.
Andrea is giggling softly to her self as I’m working on finishing up framing a collage of family photos. Clipping the fasteners into the back ridge of the frame. Before she needed to tend to her phone, Andrea and I were discussing my most recent run in with our area manager, Eddie.
She tugs the hair tie out of the messy bun on top of her head, flips her hair up and over her head a couple times then puts it right back up flashing me her best mother hen look. “Then what did he say?” She rolls her eyes and shakes her head, making a face like she’s just sucked on a slice of lime. I’d just finished recounting my miserable morning with Eddie. A miserable morning which comes on the heels of a miserable few years.
“He said he wouldn’t tell Julie, but to remember he’s doing me a favor.”
“That man is suuuuuuch a prick. That is going to come back to haunt you, mark my words.” She stabs a finger in the air toward my nose.
“I’m sure it will. Then, when Julie walked in after and called me upstairs my heart stopped.” I brush my bangs back; I need a haircut but that has not been in the budget. Andrea has been trimming my bangs for me for the last six months during our lunch breaks.
She sticks her tongue out at one of our co-workers who is staring at her. She gets that a lot, even here at work; the guys just can’t seem to help themselves. The back room at the gallery is fitted with five enormous, flat-topped tables, where we do the framing for the artwork both for the gallery displays and client custom work.
I like the work itself quite a lot. It’s creative, hands-on, and doesn’t require all that much human interaction. Or reading. Because although that is a simple task for most people, for me letters like to spin and find ways to make it impossible for me to make sense out of them.
But, when I’m on my own, when no one is watching or waiting for me, I love books. Stories. I just need to take my time, so although most people would think I would hate reading I don’t. I just don’t like doing it in front of people.
Waiting on the customers here isn’t so bad. You show them what you think will look good on their artwork, make some small talk if necessary.
Andrea looks down at her freshly manicured fingernails as she turns to say something. “Bet it was a surprise when Julie offered you a promotion insteading of firing you.”
I smile down at the piece of artwork I’m sliding into a frame and Andrea hops up and takes a seat on the table next to me, leaning down closer to keep our conversation private.
None of the other employees know I’m being transferred to our newest flagship store in Belvedere, three hours north of here. It’s a very upscale, vacation community that surrounds Lake Sherwood. You can’t touch a property around there for less than the upper six figures. But it’s straight out of a magazine. The houses are all set behind long, stone fences, looking like fortresses along the shore.
Mom and I used to go up that way for lunch, or just to drive around the lake sometimes on the days she was feeling up to it. When the sun would go down, I always looked at the houses, the lights on inside, wondering what it would be like to be on the inside looking out instead of the other way around. It always reminded me of The Great Gatsby. I used to look for the single green light, far away across the lake. Thinking of Daisy and Gatsby.
Anyway, I start at the new store tomorrow, and I’m thankful my mom’s old beat-up Corolla is still humming and I have a half tank of gas to get me there. Hopefully.
They offered me an assistant manager position, and both the money and the change of pace are welcome. What isn’t welcome is Eddie will be there as well.
I flip over the large photo portrait and secure the corners with the metal frame brackets, blowing an errant tendril of mud-colored brown hair out of my eyes.
“I almost punched Eddie when Julie asked if I would mind moving. If I would be willing to give up my apartment.” I heave out a breath, which takes more effort than it should, the anxiety still tight in my belly. “I had to tell him everything this morning when he found me sleeping on the sofa in Julie’s office. I hated it. He just smiled the entire time.”
Julie is the regional manager of the chain of galleries and picture framing shops I work for, and Eddie is the area manager. Julie is as by the book as they come, and if she knew I used my key to come in here last night and camp out, I’d be at the unemployment office right now, not getting promoted.
There is a low thud starting in my temples as I tell her the rest. “Julie offered to put me up in the same hotel where Eddie is staying. That was so akward. I panicked, said I had an aunt that lived near by just so I wouldn’t have to stay in the same place as him. Good thing we get paid today, I will have to find someplace else and pay for it myself. I doubt it will be as nice as the Hampton Inn she offered.” I wince when I slip my finger on a piece of wire and it jabs me with a pin prick.
Eddie is married, but he has already made it clear he would be more than happy to entertain Andrea on the side. Now he seems to be setting his eyes on me. He’s a fifty-something, chain-smoking, cheating son-of-a-bitch, and my stomach turns every time he enters my personal space.
He walked in early this morning and found me asleep on the couch in Julie’s office, snoring and drooling, dressed in a t-shirt, pink panties and nothing else. The contents of my duffel bag, which I usually keep in the car, were all over the floor of the office. Because, as of yesterday, I don’t have anywhere to go. That one duffel bag is everything I own.
It’s not even full.
“Your life sorta sucks right now, Cassie. I’m sorry I can’t help. I’ve been camping out at my Aunt’s house since Jimmy and I broke up. I get it. And losing your mom and Cherokee in the same month.” Andrea drops her eyes and shoves her hands under her thighs. “I heard Eddie’s wife left him too.”
That doesn’t surprise me. But my mind is on my own predicament.
My throat tightens, like there is an egg or baseball lodged in there, and my hand shakes a little as I wire the back of the picture and turn it back over to clean the glass one more time. Then I’ll wrap it up for the customer and move on to the next one. I look down as I wipe the glass cleaner away, my reflection staring up at me with pity. Or is it contempt? I don’t know what I feel right now. Even about myself.
The mention of Cherokee and Mom choke me up, and a burning tear drops onto the glass. I quickly wipe it away with my thumb, not wanting Andrea to see. Cherokee was my dog. That doesn’t really describe him and his importance in my life, but he was a dog.
And, well, my mom was my mom.
She was the kind of mom you sang ‘Proud Mary’ into your hairbrushes together. She gave me enough boundaries to keep me safe but not so many I ever felt caged. She brought home purple hair dye one Christmas Eve. We were flat broke and I knew Santa would be flying right on by our house that year. So, with purple hair and a few strings of Christmas lights, she read Charles Dickens to me and we strung popcorn onto thread then draped it over the five-dollar tree she managed to bribe the guy at the corner tree lot to sell to her. It made Charlie Brown’s tree look like the one outside of Rockefeller Center.
Later on, she gave me the wisdom that only someone who knows they’re dying can give. She made me smile and she made me want to take care of her until the last day. Which I did.
She named me Chastity, but everyone calls me Cassie.
Her first breast cancer diagnosis came eight years ago, but the problems started long before that. Since Dad hightailed it out of our life when I was seven, Mom struggled to put food on our table. She had a small disability check from the f
ederal government, and a paltry pension, but when she passed away there was no way I could catch up on the rent that was already behind.
As of approximately twenty-four hours ago, I’m homeless. I only have the possessions I managed to stuff into the duffel bag. Everything else is pad-locked in the apartment until there is a court date to finalize the eviction in thirty days. If I don’t come up with the back rent and court costs, I’ll lose everything that’s left inside.
My life is a suck hole right now – Andrea is on the nose as far as that goes. Hers isn’t much better. She’s got a nose for the wrong kind of men and it’s landed her in a similar financial situation as myself.
“Well, maybe the move is good for you right now.” Andrea hops down from her seat on the table and digs for her phone in the back pocket of her perfectly fitted jeans.
“Yeah, except I have exactly seventy-two dollars in my checking account and that is not enough for an apartment. I’ll have to find a crumby motel for a month until I get some paychecks saved, but then I still owe the back rent on the other place, and if I don’t pay that then I lose everything. Mom’s furniture, her jewelry, our photo albums. Everything.” I close my eyes and try to breathe.
The bell rings on the front door of the store, notifying us a new customer is in the shop, and someone is supposed to greet everyone that comes in. It’s not my turn though, so I pivot on my heel and step forward to pull a long sheet of brown Kraft paper off the giant roll and wrap up the framed picture; it’s a smiling family, wearing jeans and matching white button-down oxfords, all sitting far too randomly in a park somewhere.
Andrea shuffles off the other station and I try to stave off the weight of everything that is spinning around in my head. When she sneaks back up behind me it makes me jump a foot off the ground.
“You’re up. He’s back,” she whispers, japing a finger out toward the framing counter, and I screw up my face as I look at her, but she’s just snickering.