“Looks like it’s raining, baby.” He pressed a kiss to my nose and I giggled.
“I think you might be right.”
He pressed his lips against mine, kissing me slowly, leisurely, before drawing back to gaze lovingly down into my face. “Are you sure about this?”
I cupped his face. “I’m sure about you.”
What I wasn’t sure about was if his very enlarged penis was going to fit inside of me. I would be lying if I said that didn’t frighten me - the thought of him stretching me in ways I had never before been stretched. But then again, everything he had done to me so far had felt wonderful. Everything. Even the times where I had experienced a sharp, but fleeting pain, pleasure had always followed quick in its wake. I was positive that even though there would be pain at his entrance, there would also be pleasure. Pure. Carnal. Pleasure.
Slowly, as rain pounded hard over his back and thunder sounded after the lightning lit the sky, he lowered his body down to mine. I felt him for the first time, skin to skin, against me. Fire tore through my entity, claiming possession over my soul, as I molded against him as though I’d been made for this very moment - this very action. And I knew, by his tattered breath, that he felt the magnitude of this moment as well.
And then I felt him. Slowly, gently, his length moved against my wet core. Sliding up and down, up and down, he rocked himself against me until I was nothing more than a panting, aching mess beneath the controlled perfection that was this man.
Closing my eyes, I concentrated on the feel of him. I wanted to mesmerize him. I wanted to commit every detail that was Collin Donnelley to the album that was my mind and heart. His movements against me were quick, fierce, and then I felt his tip at my opening. Then he stilled and my eyes flew open at the abrupt stillness that overcame him to find that he was staring down at me as though in shock.
“Fuck.”
“What?” I breathed, confused and worried that he’d changed his mind. Oh God, please don’t let him have changed his mind. I couldn’t live. “What’s wrong?”
“I forgot a condom.” He looked shell-shocked. “I’ve never not used a condom.”
“I’m on birth control.” I announced abruptly, before lowering my voice. “If that matters.”
Tension crossed over his features and he demanded. “Why?”
“Um, it regulates me.” I muttered, feeling embarrassed beyond belief. I didn’t know how I could be embarrassed about this and not have been embarrassed about him putting his face between my legs - literally working me into an orgasm with only his tongue. The thought made me blush.
“How long have you been on it?”
“About three years.” I paused. “I think.”
“Steady?”
“What?”
“You don’t miss any pills?”
Did I say I was on the pill, or had he just assumed? If he’d assumed, he was correct. “No, I’m pretty regular with them.” I blushed again.
“I want to do this - without anything between us.” He ground his teeth.
“But?”
He rocked his hips, dragging his length slowly along my core. My belly clenched and I moaned.
“But I’ve never not used a condom.”
“If you want to go get one I’ll...”
“No.” He interrupted me. “I want to have a first with you too.”
My heart fluttered and I felt a sigh building in my chest. “Make love to me.”
He nodded, for the first time looking uncertain and - innocent. His green eyes sparkled and his lashes dripped from the water of the rain washing down over us. Then I felt his tip against my opening and I pushed my hips up against him, obviously shocking him. He hissed in a deep breath and gripped my hip with a firm hand.
“Hadley.” He warned without control. “Slow.”
“Kay.” I pressed my lips to his. “Okay.”
I knew he sensed my nerves, because he stilled an inch inside of me before he peppered tiny kisses all over my face. Then, he claimed my mouth. He kissed me deeply as he pushed in further, and then further until he was entirely buried within me. I gasped at the quick, sharp pain, but never once did I pull away from him. Because I had been right. Although there was pain, there was a fulfillment I had never before known - that I knew I would never again be able to live without. Collin Donnelley completed me. Perfectly. Entirely.
I was made for him.
Chapter 17
I was full.
This wasn’t a hunger satisfying kind of full, or even a knowledge kind of full - but it was a soul quenching kind of full.
Collin Donnelley was inside of me - and in all the days I had lived - I had never felt a moment so fulfilling. He was inside of me, filling me completely, but he was also around me. His body surrounded me, his hands touching me, caressing me everywhere. For a moment, he stilled as he filled me to the hilt for the very first time.
I watched his eyes flutter closed as his perfectly kissable lips parted on a ragged breath of euphoric pleasure. The look on his face wasn’t one I had ever seen before - but damn, I loved it - and I would work to bring this look back to his face time and time again.
Moving my hands over the length of his back, I caressed his rain moistened skin. Then, I shifted beneath him, wrapping my legs around his waist. His eyes snapped open and he hissed in a deep breath.
“Fuck, you feel good, baby.” He moaned. “So damn good. So tight and warm. Mine.”
Oh, I liked that. For the rest of my days, he could call me his any time he liked. “You feel - hard.”
He smiled, then he dipped his head down for a warm, soul-filled kiss, as he began rocking his body into mine in a rhythm that has been known for centuries as the lovers rhythm. It was a dance of sensation and passion and love one had no need to learn, but was rather wired with the instinctive ability to move upon creation.
As he moved inside of me, his motions long and slow, my mind banished all thought until there was nothing but him - inside of me. My body rocked against his and the sounds of our bodies moving together in the rain would be a sound I knew I would hear from this moment on, every time I closed my eyes. Holding his shoulders tight, I threw my head back and let my moans tumble shamelessly into the night as his thrusts quickened and he drove me past all pain to a world of serenity.
His breaths were ragged, like mine, and as he moved something built inside of me. “I can feel you there, baby.” Collin ground out against my mouth. “Let go for me.”
And somehow, with his words, I got to that wonderful place he’d brought me to once before tonight - with his mouth. Heat pooled, building, before soaring through my entity. My back bowed and a cry of completion joined Collin’s moan of ecstasy as I felt his hardness swell, before his cock twitched deep inside of me. He dove deep once more, before he stilled. Then I felt hot liquid spill inside of me, filling me with him.
He dropped his head down to my shoulder, his mouth parted against my skin as his breaths came in hard. Then he lifted his head to press warm, slow kisses to my temple, and down my face to my lips.
After kissing me once against my mouth, he asked. “You okay?”
“Perfect.” He was still inside of me, and I was perfect. So perfect. I moved my legs around him and he groaned. I felt him growing hard once again and my eyes widened as I gasped. “Again?”
He chuckled. “No, baby.”
“What?” I frowned. “But you’re hard.”
“And you’re probably sore.”
Oh, he would not hold back on my account - nope! No freaking way!
I moved my hips against him, dragging myself over his length before pushing myself back against him. I felt my desire build once again inside of me. And I knew he felt it because his green eyes turned bright with wonderment.
“You amaze me.”
“I never want it any other way.”
Collin gripped my hips tight as he commanded. “Wrap your legs around me.”
I did, feeling my breath catch in my throat as
he lifted us both from the chaise. Still connected, he walked through the pouring rain from the sky to the patio door. All the while, he kissed me passionately. Walking us through the house, as he moved inside of me, Collin brought me to his bed where he laid me down against the sheets even though we were still soaked from head to toe from the rain. He made love to me there once again - this time fast and hard - and quick. Then, when I came undone around him in a shattering mess of orgasm, he allowed his release to come again. Spilling inside me, he pumped until he was empty and I was full. Then he kissed me, rolled my now dry body onto the dry section of bed, before pulling me tight against his chest.
I felt his hand in my hair as he whispered. “You’re perfect, Hadley.” I closed my eyes as exhaustion claimed me, but not before I heard his last, most precious words. “I’m in love with you.”
***
The morning after the summer storm was bright and cheery. The sun had claimed the night’s tantrum and was in a much better mood as it smiled down on the earth. Despite our late night, I woke early as I always did. Shifting in Collin’s arms, I perched up on my elbows as I looked down into his beautiful sleeping face. Then I kissed him. I kissed him over and over and over again, until those captivating eyes of his fluttered open and he grinned.
“You’re insatiable.”
“Oh, you think I want that?”
“Don’t you?” His eyes turned challenging and I marveled at his ability to awaken so quick.
“I think I’ll always want you now that I’ve had you.” I answered truthfully.
He grinned - a Cheshire grin. As a matter of fact, he looked like a kitten with milk - entirely content. Gracie’s words came back to me and I smiled - Collin was smitten.
Then he answered. “Well, lets take a shower then.”
“Before our run?” Collin had been running with me every morning for two weeks. We never showered before our run.
“Baby, when I’m done with you in the shower, you won’t need that run.”
“Oh.” My heart raced and I felt anticipation blooming in my body. “Well, we better hurry to the shower then. My muscles are feeling needy.”
He didn’t hesitate. One moment, I was lying perched over him, and the next, I was in his arms and he was walking - or flying - to the bathroom.
The things he did to me in that shower...
***
I leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek. “Are you sure you don’t want help cleaning the kitchen?”
“I’m good, beautiful.” He assured. “You go and get some more clothes packed. I’ll be there soon enough.”
I nodded, feeling my heart flutter at the thought of moving my things into his house. He’d announced in the shower that he wanted me to be here with him always. When I’d mentioned that the cabin was paid for until December, he’d informed me matter of fact that it could be refunded.
We’d agreed I wouldn’t refund the cabin quite yet as my father would be flying out here to kick some Donnelley butt, but that during the Christmas Holiday, Collin would fly to Toronto with me and we would tell my parents about our relationship then. Only then would Collin refund the cabin onto my father’s credit card.
After a slightly heated discussion that Collin had won, I was now on board with moving my things to his house. Today was the day we were going to announce to his mother, Gracie (and I swear the woman had a seriously devious side) that we were now seeing each other. Collin was something nervous about admitting this to his mother, but he assured me with a slow kiss that I was worth any ‘I told you so’ his mother would mutter.
We’d only just finished eating breakfast, which Collin had cooked for me after demanding I spend at least twenty minutes soaking in a bubble bath after our extensive - sessions - this morning and last night. I did have to admit that I was sore, but not unbearably so.
As I moved to the front door, I called. “Don’t forget to wash the sheets. They’re still pretty wet from the rain water.”
“I’ll toss them in the wash before I drive over to you, beautiful.”
“Okay.”
“Take one of the dogs - or all of them with you.”
“Buster follows me everywhere I go.” I called back as I slipped out onto the front porch. As I suspected, at the sound of my voice, Buster came running from the dense trees to meet me. He wagged his tail determinedly as he sided up against me for pets. As we walked, I periodically gave him a scratch behind his ears. If he could, I’m sure he would have purred.
I walked with Buster padding loyally beside me along the path, only stilling when my cabin came into view - and I saw a woman sitting on the porch. My blood turned cold when I realized the woman was my mother.
All the pain of Michael’s death came back to me with the force of a thousand lashes. Seeing my mother here, at this place I had found the ability to heal my broken heart, brought me right back to square one.
Why was she here?
My hands felt clammy as I moved slowly closer to my cabin. Her blue eyes watched me take every step, but never once did she speak. Was she mad at me - for not being here? Oh shit, how long had she been sitting there?
My breath fell from my lips in a relieved sigh as I realized she wasn’t wet - so she couldn’t have been here over night.
“Mom.” My throat felt dry and it sounded in my voice. “What are you doing here?”
“You weren’t answering your phone.” She replied, and she sounded so sad.
She was sad, but so was I. She’d sent me to this place when I’d needed my family. Only a week after my brother had passed away, I’d been sent to spend months here, in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people. She’d forced me to find a way through my pain alone. She might be sad, but I was still hurting from her betrayal.
“I didn’t answer because I didn’t want to talk.”
Pain flared in her eyes and she pulled in a deep, ragged breath. Her hands shook as she tucked her hair nervously behind her ear. “Hadley.”
“I know, Mom.” I said coldly, forcing my voice to remain chilled despite the fact that my heart was hurting so deeply in my chest. Forcing my eyes to look off into the distance to keep the tears from appearing in the depths of my eyes the way they so desperately longed to, I took in the sturdy strength of the mountains.
“What do you know, Hadley?” My mother asked gently, confusion tainting her words.
“It wasn’t dad who sent me away.” I whispered harshly, fighting the sudden onslaught of tears now brimming my vision. “It was you.”
“Hadley.” My mother’s voice pleaded with me, but I couldn’t stand to listen to her words. She’d lied to me. Lying was something I had never known my family to succumb to and I didn’t plan on entertaining yet another one now.
I moved past my mother as she stood up from the chair. Placing my hand on the knob, I planned to push my way into my cabin and to lock myself within it’s small safety until Collin came to rescue my currently breaking heart - but her next words stilled me.
I stopped cold as her words rang in my ears like the echoes of a bomb. My skin tightened and my breath died, lodging painfully in my chest.
“Your father has had a heart attack.”
Her words replayed in my mind. “I’m here because your father is in the hospital, Hadley. He had a heart attack two days ago and he’s not doing well.” I could hear the tears in her words and I knew that if I turned to look into her face, I would see them streaming down her cheeks. “You need to come home with me, baby. He needs to see you.”
Feeling broken inside, the air that had been stuck to burn in my chest released in one painful whoosh - and then I broke.
Suddenly, I was on my knees and my mother’s arms were around me. In the way she had done so many other times when I cried, she held the pieces of me together. My face was pressed into her shoulder as she rocked me back and forth on the porch. I could hear Busters whining in the background, meshing with the sounds of my pained sobs, and then I heard the engine of a truck - and then
there was a man’s voice. His voice. Collin’s voice.
“Hadley!” I heard booted feet slamming against the gravel, and then up the steps of my little porch.
Then I was pulled from my mothers arms as two big hands held my face, forcing me to look up into emerald eyes. My breaths were coming in unsteady, panicked gasps that slowed as soon as those eyes held mine. In them, I found a calm I could have never found in any other. I knew my mom was watching us, I could sense her presence - but the only person I could see was him. Collin.
“My dad...” my voice was a pathetic sound, but the strength in Collin didn’t waver. He was like the mountains - sturdy.
“Shh, baby.” He cooed. “You need to breathe, beautiful.”
I nodded, needing to listen to him - wanting to obey him. Because I knew that if I did, I would feel so much better and not nearly as desperate. Finally, when my breathing returned to normal and my sobs quieted, Collin spoke again. “What happened?”
“My dad had a...” I choked on the words. “Heart attack.”
His face tightened and a fleeting flash of pain lit the emerald of his eyes. “Is he?”
“He’s alive.” I nodded. “But he’s not doing well.”
Collin tensed even tighter, before he pulled me against him hard. His body shook and I knew he was holding back with everything that he had to squeeze me so tight against him, we became one rather than two.
He knew what I went through with my brother. We hadn’t talk much about it - but he knew I’d been hurting. He’d seen me break down. He’d held me in his arms as I lost hold of the world around me and he’d been the tether that brought me back. He knew, deep inside, that if I lost my father too - so soon after my brother - that the tether holding me to this world might not be strong enough. He might not be strong enough to hold me here - to this place. I felt his fear and I felt his worry and concern for me.
Suddenly, I heard my mothers voice and I remembered she was here with us. “We need to leave, Hadley. Our flight leaves at four and we have a long drive ahead of us.”
Taking Chances: A Donnelley Brother's Novel Page 16