by Piper Rayne
I scoff. “So you think we’re a train wreck?” I cock my hip to the side.
Drew dips his chin and looks at me from under his brows. “I think the two of you are in a bubble and I’m not sure either one of you truly will know what you’ll do when someone pops it.”
“Well, I think you’re an asshole,” I snap.
“Don’t get upset, Lennon. I like you. I think you’re great for Jasper, but I also think the two of you have no idea how to navigate this relationship.”
“What makes you think you know me so well?”
“Let’s see… you’re the party girl, you like your freedom, you’re probably not in a hurry to settle down, you’re used to doing what you want when you want.” He checks each of these things off on his fingers as he says them.
“What makes you such a psychologist?” I ask, picking up my stuff, ready to bolt out the door.
“I’m just protecting my friend. He’s done it for me in the past and now I’m going to do it for him.” He sits back down in his chair, his face indifferent. “I like you, Lennon.”
I stand at the edge of his desk, peering down at him, my veins burning hot with anger. “Do me a favor and let’s keep this to business.” I gesture between us and then spin on my heel and stomp over to the door.
“I like your fire. I’ll take that to mean that you do love him,” he says, laughing to himself.
I roll my eyes, swing the door open and run right into Jasper’s chest. As hard as I try to push back my tears, I blink and they begin to run in a steady stream down my face.
24
“Whoa,” Jasper says, smoothing my hair, holding me to his chest. He tries to walk us backwards into Drew’s office but I hold firm outside his door.
“Sue, will you excuse us,” he says, that sweet gentle tone long gone now.
“Yes, Mr. Banks.” I hear the sliding of her chair and Jasper pushes me back by my shoulders to look at my face.
I wipe the stupid tears and divert my gaze to anywhere but his face.
“Lennon, what happened?” he asks, and he eyes Drew from over my shoulder. “Drew?”
“It’s nothing. I need to go.” I attempt to slide by him, but he sidesteps, gripping my shoulders.
He points into the office at Drew. “I’ll deal with you later.” His voice is authoritative and demanding.
He pulls me into his side and we walk down the hall to his office. He shuffles me in and he locks the door behind us.
I can’t believe this is happening. I’m Lennon Hart, I have it all together. I’m not this emotional, weepy girl.
“What’s going on?” he asks. I sit down on the couch and he joins me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.
I glance over to him. He’s in a sharp black suit with the faintest pinstripes. Classic and sophisticated like always.
“How come I can’t spend the night?” I ask the question that’s been niggling at my subconscious.
Jasper blows out a stream of air, and tips his head back to stare up at the ceiling. “I just, I’m not—”
For the first time, Jasper is speechless.
“What?” I turn to face him, and he leans forward, his elbows on his knees.
“I told you, I’m in uncharted territory, okay? I don’t want to hurt Brady, I don’t want to feel like I’m forcing him on you.”
“I like him. You’re not forcing me.”
He blows out a breath and stands to start pacing. “If you spend the night, Brady will jump in our bed in the morning. I’ll be taking a cold shower instead of burying myself into you to relieve my morning wood. We’ll have breakfast and barely be able to have a conversation because he’ll be there, clamoring for your attention.” He leans back on his desk, crossing his ankles. “I’ll admit, I’m not sure you’re ready for it.”
“You think I’m not terrified? I’ve never had a relationship, let alone one that if it doesn’t work out an innocent boy is going to be hurt.” I exhale a huge breath, the truth escaping from me.
“How do you think I feel? He’s my son. Brady doesn’t truly know what he’s missing by not having a mom. He only hears the stories and sees his friends. I always thought my mom would fill that role for him, but it’s something he’s still searching for. Two years ago, he made a pin at school. It was a Mother’s Day project and the teachers expected him to give it to my mom. You want to know where that pin is?”
I swallow past the lump forming in my throat. “Where?”
“It’s in the top drawer of his dresser. He’s waiting to give it to someone—to his mom. I want to give him everything, but I’m not even sure I can give him that. It’s hard to allow someone to get close enough to him that they could hurt him if they decided to leave us.” He pushes off the desk and begins pacing again.
“I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to hurt you,” I whisper. Another tear slips from my eye and I quickly wipe it off.
Jasper stops pacing and stares down at his feet with his hands on his hips.
“I still remember the first time Brady asked me why he didn’t have a mom.” His voice cracks and I feel that crack spread across my heart. “I thought I’d prepared myself, but I thought it would happen when he was eight or nine. It happened when he was three. We were at a park and a little girl fell off the swings. She went crying to her mom and Brady looked up to me and asked who that was. I casually told him it was her mommy. I patted his head and told him to go up the slide again. On the way home, he asked me where his mommy was.”
“Jasper,” I sigh and clutch my chest, more tears falling from my eyes.
“I don’t tell you this to make it harder, Lennon. I’m telling you because this is how deep and long he’s wanted it. I see the way he looks at you and I worry that it will make you bolt. He’s already had one mother who didn’t want him. I don’t know what would happen if another person he looked at like a mom left him.” He comes back to the couch, but sits on the edge.
“I can’t promise you,” I whisper and he nods.
“I know.”
“Neither can you,” I remind him and he nods again, the corners of his lips tipping down.
“I know.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
He turns to me and cups my cheek as his thumb swipes away my tears. “I don’t want to lose you,” he says. “Sometimes I think I’m more scared about me hurting than Brady,” he says softly and my heart flutters.
“What if you decide I’m not good enough?” I ask him and he slides forward, his other hand cupping my opposite cheek.
“Don’t ever say that,” he says. “I’d never think that.” He shakes his head vehemently.
“You wouldn’t be the only one.” I tip my head down and he pulls it back up.
“If you take anything away from this conversation, know that if I didn’t think you could, we wouldn’t be here.”
The determination in his eyes and the caress of his hands seal it for me.
“I’m all in, Jasper,” I say and a slow smile crosses his lips.
“Me too,” he whispers and he delivers another sweet kiss.
No, strike that, he delivers a loving kiss, and it melts every bone in my body.
25
Jasper took the rest of the day off and we picked up Brady from the local daycare and took him to the zoo. Well, we did all that after Jasper stormed into Drew’s office and raised hell. Drew’s response? He laughed and said he was happy it worked out.
“What’s your favorite animal?” I ask Brady, walking hand in hand with him into the zoo.
“ROAR!”
“I take it you like the lions then?”
“Yep.” He lets go of my hand and skips ahead a few steps.
“Then it’s lions first,” I say.
Jasper pulls out the map from his back pocket, locates the area and tells us which way to head. We arrive at the building a while later, after being distracted by the geese and food carts. Brady bounces up and down on his toes to see better and eventually, Jas
per picks him up.
All the animals just lie there and I can’t help but think how lonely they must be. “It’s kind of sad,” I say.
“Why?” Brady asks.
I shrug. “I don’t know, I mean, I wouldn’t make for a very good caged animal.” I shrug again. Jasper laughs, knowing I’m right. “I definitely wouldn’t be just lying around like that.”
“Me either,” Brady agrees and I can’t help but think that’s true. Me and Brady are cool like that.
“Here’s to crazy, Brady.” I put my fist out and he hits it.
“Crazy!” he screams and Jasper shushes him.
After we see the lions, I can tell Brady is getting excited—he’s talking so fast that I’m barely understanding him while he’s jumping and running. Jasper keeps telling him to slow down, quiet down, calm down and I can’t help but smile to myself because I heard those same things so much when I was younger.
We head to the play area because Jasper thinks Brady needs to burn off some energy and the two of us sit on the picnic table watching him run around having fun.
“Are you always so strict?” I ask him, sipping my slushy. I got red, Brady got blue, Jasper got a water. Boring.
“What do you mean?” He eyes me like I’m crazy.
“You’re so bossy.”
He leans forward. “I thought you liked me bossy?” he asks in a seductive tone that has me pressing my thighs together. It’s been so long.
“I like you bossy, but I bet Brady doesn’t,” I say, eyeing the child in question going up and down the slide.
“He has a hard time following rules. Plus, he can be a lot to handle if I don’t consistently keep him in check.” I see the questions in his head—how badly he probably wants to tell me to mind my own business, that Brady is his son—but he doesn’t say anything.
I pat his hand. “I’m not telling you how to raise him.”
“You’re not?” he asks, not so sure.
I stand up, keeping my hand on his. “No. I just know what it’s like to be a Brady. My entire family tried to keep me in check and tame my personality and the harder they tried to shove me into the box, the more I pushed and prodded until I broke free. You don’t want to raise a kid who has tattoos on his entire body, invents sex toys and has a hard time with commitment, do you?” I raise my eyebrows, pat his hand one more time and then walk out to the playground to play with Brady.
The park is pretty busy, so I try to always keep my eye on him, but the little man can hide. I’m searching the area for him, but I follow Jasper’s eyes because of course he has an eye on his son. I smile, seeing a giant rock on the far side.
Tiptoeing over there, I peer over the edge to find Brady.
“Gotcha!” I scream and he yelps to stand and run, but he trips over his shoelace and falls to the concrete.
“Ouch,” he says, right before a wail of a cry rumbles out of him. He buckles over in pain.
“Brady!” Jasper yells and I crouch down to him, brushing his arm.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
Jasper reaches us and kneels down, ready to pick him up, but Brady sits up and then throws himself into my arms, crying.
Jasper falls back on his ass as I stare at him with wide eyes. He smiles and I know he’s thinking about that day at the park three years ago. Even though my heart rate is at a record-setting pace, Brady’s small body against mine feels natural somehow.
My hand slides up and down his back. “Are you okay, buddy? Let’s take a look,” I say. He inches back, letting us see that he has a scratch on his forehead.
“Oh, buddy.” Jasper stands and walks to the table.
“Let’s get it cleaned up,” I say and Brady stands up and walks to the table with his two hands around my waist, his face pressed into my side.
Jasper gets a napkin from the churro vendor and pours water on it from his bottle. I guess he thinks ahead because I’d only have a red slushy to clean it up with.
He pats Brady’s head and tells him it’s okay, that it’s small. “How does it feel?” he asks him.
Brady smiles, nodding his head. “Better.”
I put my arm around his shoulders, handing him his blue slushy. “Best therapy,” I say and he smiles, sucking it up the straw immediately.
The three of us sit there for a few minutes with our drinks, watching the other kids play.
“Where do you want to go now?” I ask Brady. “We could do the Little Puffer train, the carousel…”
“Let’s see the kangaroos.” He jumps up and his blue slushy falls from his hands, and it splatters to the ground.
I laugh and Brady cringes, looking over to Jasper, who rolls his eyes and looks none too pleased.
“Well, let’s clean it up.” I bend down, scooping the blue slushy in the cup, using the extra napkins to wipe it up. Brady helps me and throws away the napkins and cup. “Thanks, Brady,” I say and he smiles, proud that he helped.
I look around for something to clean up the stickiness and spot the water. Jasper hands it over to me and I pour it over the mess and it washes away into the mulch.
Who knew a bottle of water could come in so handy? I always thought that was reserved for bottles of tequila.
While we’re in the Australian Walkabout, Brady is hopping on fences, running from exhibit to exhibit. I notice Jasper says nothing to him.
I slide my arm through his. “I think I was wrong,” I whisper close to him and he looks down at me. “I think that you do a great job with Brady. I shouldn’t have given you advice. I mean, who am I to say anything? You were like MacGyver with your bottle of water to hydrate, clean cuts and wash away a spill.”
He chuckles. “You’re Lennon and you were right. I’ve been afraid that he’ll scare you off with how hyper he is, so I’ve been coming down a little hard on him. But at the park I realized you two will probably just keep each other busy.” He laughs and I hip-check him.
“I was apologizing.”
He glances down at me, that you love me smile on his lips. “Don’t. You were right.” His head dips and I prepare for a kiss when Brady jumps up to face level.
“I’m hungry,” he screams.
My one eye shuts for a second from the pain in my ear. We share a smile and Jasper grips his upper arm, keeping him at ground level, and then kisses me. It was short and sweet but it meant a little more this time around because Brady was there.
“Come on,” I say to Brady, finding a pretzel stand.
“Let’s have lunch,” Jasper offers and I share a look with Brady.
Turning around, I walk backwards. “There is no such thing as a balanced diet while we’re at the zoo. Come on, MacGyver, I’ll buy you a water.” I wink and he laughs, then chases us until we’re screaming and he’s circling around us.
I guess my man can hang with us crazies.
26
An impatient knock rattles my apartment door. I scurry half dressed to answer it, because we’re already late. I was late leaving the tattoo parlor and Brady was upset that his dad was leaving for the night to be with me. He truly wants to spend every waking moment with us. It’s sweet in its own way.
I swing open the door and before I have a chance to see Jasper’s face, I’m backed up into the apartment. The door slams shut, and the shirt I just put on is brought up over my head and tossed to the floor. My bra is unhooked as I hear two shoes thump to the ground.
His lips land on mine, my hands weaving through his hair. I unbutton his pants and he swings his hips side to side to let them fall to the ground.
“I need you once before we go and another five times after.” He uses the weight of his body to push me back until I collapse on my bed. He comes down on top of me and presses his weight into my body.
“Sounds good,” I say, moaning when his erection grinds between my legs.
“Turn over,” he demands.
I like bossy Jasper. Why the hell did I ever question his bossiness? “Feeling a little alpha tonight?” I joke and he smacks
my ass as I wiggle it in front of his face.
“I always feel alpha with you,” he says in a strained voice, his hand gliding down my spine. “No panties tonight.” He rips them off me and his shirt lands on the bed. His hand slides between my legs, his fingers moving from front to back, spreading my excitement all over my pussy.
“Hurry,” I say, my insides clenching.
“You’re definitely wet enough,” he says and my nipples harden into taut peaks.
“How bad do I need to beg?” I groan.
“Tell me how bad you want me,” he orders while he leans over me and slides open the top drawer of my nightstand. My insides clench even before I see the lube and anal plug he’s pulled from the drawer.
I’m not sure when his boxers left his body, but his cock presses against my slit and I try to push back into him. He grips my hips, directing the movement himself. Control freak.
“I ache.”
His tip teases me, but he doesn’t respond. Instead he drizzles lube down my ass crack. I arch my neck to look behind me. He’s watching on in fascination as he spreads the liquid over my puckered hole.
“I’ve been wet all day waiting for you.” I moan as he pushes the tip of the butt plug in then let my forehead drop to the mattress.
“You like that? Want me to put it all the way in?” he asks in a hoarse voice.
I’m too on edge to speak so in response I push back into him. The head of his cock teases my slit and the anal plug pushes in a little more.
“Jasper, I need you,” I beg. I can’t take it anymore. I need to move. I need him to fill me. I need to come.
“You’re going to come all over me. Don’t worry about that.” He pushes the remaining length of the toy into me and I gasp in pleasure.
I wiggle my ass side to side, desperate to move. “More. I need you to fuck me.”
“All in good time,” he says, his voice a low rumble.
He pushes his cock in an inch and then backs out.
“I haven’t masturbated for two days, waiting for you,” I say, hoping he’ll give me all of him.