Gran was really good at setting you sharply back on the straight and narrow and then moving on as if nothing had happened, and while she chatted on, Steven went over his short trip to take Kaitlyn home. Was she mad that Chris was having dinner with Sarah? She didn’t seem like a possessive sister. In fact, the few times he had seen them together, Sarah and Kaitlyn really seemed to get along. Maybe she’d had a bad day at work? That was a distinct possibility, now that he thought about it. Working at that pokey diner had to be a real bore for someone who had been around as much as Kaitlyn Reed. A brief consideration that it might have been him personally that repelled her came and went without even stopping. Nah, couldn’t be that.
He realized that his grandmother had stopped talking and was looking at him with expectation. Clearly, some response was required, and he hadn’t the slightest idea what she had been talking about.
“You caught me, Gran. My mind was wandering. Care to run that by me again?”
But Gran was much more interested in his wandering mind than she was in repeating herself. “What’s going on with you, Steven? All this thinking isn’t like you. Is something wrong?”
He flashed his dimple and ignored the comment about thinking being foreign to him. “Nope, not a thing’s wrong. Just daydreaming.” He dropped into his chair, waited for Gran to say grace, and passed the green beans before casually bringing Kaitlyn into the conversation.
“Chris’s sister sure doesn’t seem very happy here. Think she’ll be around long?”
“I hope so. I like Kaitlyn. She hasn’t had an easy time of it, and I think Last Chance might be just the place for her to rest awhile and find out who she really is.”
“From what I hear, what you call a hard time, she calls a fun time. I give her six months tops.” Steven plopped a scoop of potato salad onto his plate and offered the bowl to his grandmother.
“Really. Is that what you hear?” Gran’s blue eyes had gone stormy. “That’s disgraceful. I’m surprised you’d even listen to such trash, and even more disappointed that you’d pass it on.”
“Sorry, Gran.” Steven stabbed at the slice of cold ham on his plate. The evening was not going well. He fancied himself—with good reason, he had to admit—pretty darn irresistible when it came to the ladies. But so far, every female he had come in contact with today, from a seven-year-old girl to his own grandmother, had treated him like he had something on his boots. Gran always took his side. At least she used to.
Dinner was pretty quiet. Steven kept glancing up at his grandmother, who seemed lost in her own thoughts. From the time he was a kid, Steven could count on Gran trying to set things right after she had barked at him. She never backed down on what she had said in the first place, but it had always been important to her that the waters had been calmed before they went on. But he really must have messed up this time, because she did not have a lot to say.
Finally, he broke the silence. “Gran, I know I was out of line with the comment about Kaitlyn. You’re right. She hasn’t had it easy.”
Elizabeth looked up with a frown. “What? Oh, that.” Her face relaxed into a smile. “I’m not upset with you, honey, but I guess I was thinking about Kaitlyn. It just breaks my heart that someone as young as she is seems to go around acting as if her life is over. I’m sorry. Here, have some more ham.”
“No, thanks. I’ll just grab a few cookies and head on out to the ranch. Uncle Joe Jr. runs a pretty tight ship, and morning comes awful early up there.”
Elizabeth got to her feet and reached for her apron. “I’m sure he appreciates the help. When do you go to the academy?”
“Not till spring.” He grinned. “So I’ll be leaving about the time they could really use the help.”
“Well, you’ll make a fine law officer. I’m proud of you.” She held up her cheek for a kiss. “You take care.”
“Can’t I help with these dishes before I go?” Steven started to clear his plate, half expecting his grandmother to wave him away as she always did.
“You know, if you’d just stack them in the sink, I’d really appreciate that. I may just leave them till morning this time.”
“You’re not letting that little girl of Kaitlyn’s wear you out, are you?” He took an armload of dishes to the counter. “I never did think her coming here after school was the best idea, you know.”
This time Elizabeth did flap a hand at him. “Oh, pshaw. Livvy’s no trouble at all. She’s a sweet little thing and I love having her. I’m just a little tired tonight, that’s all.”
“Then you go sit down and watch your shows, and I’ll be done here in a minute.”
“I’ll do that. Thank you, darlin’.”
Steven watched her rest her hand briefly on the doorjamb for support when she passed through to the living room. Gran was slowing down. Okay, she was eighty-seven and maybe she was entitled, but that didn’t mean Steven liked seeing it.
3
Kaitlyn was curled up on the sofa watching an old movie when she heard Chris’s Jeep pull up outside and the door slam.
“Hey, how’s it going?” He almost had to duck when he came through the front door a few minutes later. “You got home okay, I see.”
She hit the Mute button on the remote and looked up him. “You’ve got lipstick all over your face.”
When Chris immediately rubbed his hand over his jaw and examined his fingers, she grinned. “Gotcha. Have a good time?”
He just glared and ignored the question. “Olivia in bed?”
“Yep, hours ago.” Kaitlyn got up and followed him into the kitchen. She leaned against the counter and watched her brother rummage through the refrigerator. “That Steven Braden who you pawned us off on—and thanks so much, by the way—sure is impressed with himself. Who is he, anyway?”
Chris emerged holding a piece of cheesecake that looked slightly dry on the sides and cracked on the top. “I didn’t mean to pawn you off on anybody. All you had to do was say no. I’d have been happy to drive you home. Why? Did he try to pull anything?”
“No, not really. He just seemed to think I should be so impressed that he even looked my way. Then when I didn’t fall all over him, he acted like a spoiled kid.”
Chris sniffed at the cheesecake and took a tentative bite. It must have tasted okay because he finished it off and opened the cupboard to see what else he could find. “Yep, that would be Steven. He’s sort of the family black sheep. Sarah says he’s been getting by on charm and good looks all his life. Seems to work too, from what I hear.”
“This is the guy you sent your sister and niece home with? Nice.”
Chris found a bag of chips. “Honey, I’d back you in a bear fight.”
If that was supposed to make Kaitlyn feel better, it didn’t. Okay, it was true that if Steven had tried to get physical, he probably would have wound up with something broken, but still . . . She watched Chris grab a handful of chips from the bag and stuff them in his mouth. “Why are you eating? Didn’t you ever get around to dinner?”
Chris threw her a warning look. “Yes, we had dinner. But cooking isn’t exactly one of Sarah’s strengths, so I’m still a little hungry, okay?”
“Sheesh. Sorry. Well, cooking’s not one of my strengths either, so if you’re looking for leftovers from tonight’s dinner, knock yourself out. I’m going back to my movie.”
She had curled back onto the sofa when Chris joined her with his bag of chips. “What are you watching?”
“It’s an old Hitchcock movie. I can’t believe this guy. He’s supposed to be the good guy and he’s nothing but a creepy stalker.”
Chris finished his chips and wadded up the bag. “Well, I hope it’s almost over. We’re out of here awful early in the morning. I’m going to bed.” He took careful aim with his chip bag and made the three-point shot to the wastebasket in the kitchen. “And the crowd goes wild . . .”
“Chris, wait a minute.” He had already started down the hall but turned when she called.
“Yeah?”
<
br /> “I’d like to take Livvy to San Ramon Saturday after work, all right?”
A tired frown crossed his face. “Saturday? I can’t, Kaitlyn. You know it’s Sarah’s birthday. We’re going out.”
“I’m talking about just Livvy and me, so all I’m asking is that you take Sarah’s car. We haven’t had much chance to just reconnect, and I’d really like some time alone with her.” She was about to tell Chris of the wrenching remorse she felt at leaving Olivia as she did, but when his frown deepened to one of real concern, she changed her mind. She just couldn’t go there with him yet. “So I’d like to take your car. We wouldn’t be out too late.”
She lifted her chin to meet his troubled gaze, and after a moment, almost as if he willed it, his face relaxed into a smile. “Sure. Why not? You two need some time together. Have fun.”
He started down the hall to his room, and Kaitlyn slumped against the sofa. She clicked off the television and closed her eyes. Everyone made mistakes, but it seemed hers were the kind that just kept on giving.
“Kaitlyn?”
Kaitlyn jumped and her eyes popped open. She hadn’t heard Chris come back in the room. He sat down on the sofa next to her.
“I have to ask.” He draped his arm across the back of the sofa and looked into her eyes for a long moment before speaking. “Saturday. You’re just going up to San Ramon for the evening, right? You’re coming back?”
“Seriously, Chris?” Her voice rose to the breaking point, and her brother glanced down the hall at Olivia’s door. “I’m going to kidnap my own daughter and steal your car? You really think I would do that?”
“Look, Kaitlyn, don’t get mad. I’m sorry if I got this all wrong. But you did take off once, and I know you’re not all that crazy about Last Chance.”
“No, I’m not all that crazy about Last Chance.” Kaitlyn jumped up and stood over Chris, swiping a shaking hand across her eyes. “But Olivia is here, and I’m not leaving her again. Ever. I guess I don’t need to remind you why I can’t just take her.”
“Kaitlyn . . .” Chris got to his feet and reached for his sister.
She backed away. “I knew what a rotten mother I was when I signed those papers. I knew Olivia deserved so much more than she was getting from me. She’s changed so much since she’s been with you. I can see that too. But she’s not the only one who’s changed, Chris, in case you haven’t noticed.”
“I’ve noticed. And maybe it’s because you’ve changed that I worry sometimes. I know you’re going to want Olivia back one of these days, and when that happens, nothing will stop you from just taking her away. I don’t think I could stand losing both of you again.”
Kaitlyn felt her rage turn to something else. Tender frustration? Frustrated tenderness? Her brother, looking at her with such sadness in his eyes, loomed larger than life, both in physical size and in the role he had always played in her life. He’d been her hero and champion, always ready to take on anything or anyone who threatened her. But that couldn’t continue forever. She was grown now and needed to fight her own battles, and Chris, if his moon-eyed devotion to Sarah Cooley was any indication of things to come, needed to be able to get on with his own life too.
She stepped over to him and stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “You’re not losing either of us, ever, no matter where we all wind up. Now, good night. I’ll see you in the morning.”
He gave her a hug. “I stopped in your trailer and turned the heat on for you when I got home. Should be toasty warm now. G’night.”
“Thank you, Chris. Sleep tight.” Kaitlyn took her coat off the rack by the door and wrapped herself up in it before letting herself out into the icy stillness of the winter night. She stopped on the porch a moment to gaze at the heavens. More stars than she ever dreamed existed had exploded against the black sky, and the cold made them glisten like a million shards of ice. Pulling her coat more tightly around her, she jumped off the porch and ran around the singlewide to the tiny travel trailer parked in back.
Chris was right; it was warm and welcoming. He had been almost apologetic about the little trailer when he brought her back to Last Chance, explaining that his house was just too small for another person, but she had loved it from the first moment. It was hers, one room though it was, and in it she could feel safe and protected and almost ready to begin the process of learning to forgive herself.
Leaving the single room in darkness, she sat at the little dinette and gazed out the window at the sky again. Across the short expanse of desert, she saw first the kitchen light, then the bathroom light, and finally Chris’s bedroom light go out. The yellow-and-white singlewide became a gray shadow. And over everything—the singlewide, her little trailer, and even the sleeping town of Last Chance—arched a sky so immense and so bright with stars that it should have made Kaitlyn feel small and insignificant but for some reason made her feel protected and looked after.
Without turning on a light, she got ready for bed and climbed beneath the down comforter. Even from her bed she could see the stars through the window. Nothing about her past actions had changed, and she knew she’d still be facing hard expressions of disapproval when she got to work in the morning, but something about that sky made her realize that there was more. She was still gazing at the spangled heavens when her eyes drifted shut and she slept.
The worst thing about the alarm going off in winter was that it went off in the dark. The second worst thing was the phone call that always came about five minutes later.
“Rise and shine, baby sister. Time to get going.”
“I’m up.” Kaitlyn’s voice came as a croak, and she cleared her throat to sound a little more convincing. “I’m up.”
“Then turn on your light.” Through her own window, she could see Chris, dressed and ready for the day, standing at the window of his brightly lit kitchen.
“Aren’t there Peeping Tom laws in this place?”
“All I can see is the shape of your trailer, so shut your blinds and turn on your light. We’re out of here in half an hour.”
Mentally going over her catalog of torments that should be administered to those who woke other people from sound sleep, Kaitlyn shut her shades and groped for her lamp, squinting against the harsh light that forced the gentle night from her room. She briefly considered just going back to bed with the light on, but it was too late. She was awake now.
She was standing before her mirror buttoning her uniform and wondering who in the world could design such an ugly garment when she heard running footsteps outside and Olivia burst through her door.
“Hey, Mom, could you do my hair?”
“Well, good morning to you too, sweet cakes.” Kaitlyn smiled at her daughter and reached to give her a hug.
Olivia danced out of reach and shrugged out of both coat and backpack. “Mo-o-o-m, Uncle Chris said I have exactly two and one half minutes, and I want you to do those two braids on the side that go into that sort of inside-out braid in the back.”
“That’s going to take more than two and a half minutes, babe.” Kaitlyn took the brush from Olivia’s hand and began to gently tug the nighttime snarls from her daughter’s hair. “How about wearing your hair down today? I’ll just pull the sides up high on your head. See? You’ve got this waterfall of blonde down the back. Beautiful.”
She gave Olivia a hand mirror, and her daughter turned from side to side trying to see the back. Finally, she nodded her approval and reached for her coat as two quick honks from the driveway reminded them that the two and a half minutes were up.
“Mom?” Olivia reached for her mother’s hand as the two walked around to the front where Chris waited in the Jeep. “Do you think you could do Emma A.’s hair sometime? She always tells me she likes my hair now. She likes the braids best, but I bet she’ll like the waterfall, too.”
“If she’d like me to.” Ignoring Chris’s pointed glare, Kaitlyn got in the front seat and fastened her seat belt. Truthfully, she couldn’t see Emma’s mother allowing her precious da
ughter anywhere near Kaitlyn, but maybe Olivia wouldn’t press it and it would all go away.
One of the things that hurt her most when she came to Last Chance was the bedraggled, off-center ponytail that Olivia wore so defiantly. It took several weeks before she allowed her mother to even touch her hair, and even longer before she let her trim the ragged ends. During those long weeks, Kaitlyn ached to draw her daughter onto her lap and never let her go, filling every one of her senses—touch, smell, sight, even taste—with the daughter she had so carelessly let out of her life, but Olivia had not forgotten and was not ready to forgive. Not for a long time. If Olivia had shouted her anger and pain, Kaitlyn would have welcomed it. They would have had a place to start the healing. But from the moment Kaitlyn stepped off the bus in San Ramon to find Chris and Olivia waiting for her last November, Olivia had treated her with the same casual indifference she treated any stranger. In those first days back in Last Chance, Kaitlyn had tried to talk to Olivia, to explain, or try to explain, why she did what she did, even to ask forgiveness. But Olivia would just shrug, look away, and mutter, “S’okay.”
So Kaitlyn waited, treasuring every tiny step toward her that her daughter allowed her to take. The pedicure came first, then the manicure—if you could call dabbing polish on those bitten scraps of nail a manicure—and finally the good-night kiss. But Olivia had still worn that scraggly ponytail like a badge of honor. Whether it was to prove to her mother that she did not need either her or her skills, or whether it was to show the world that in her own eyes at least, Olivia was still motherless, Kaitlyn could not guess, but it broke her heart. The day Olivia had had an angry fight with the rubber band entangled in her hair and Kaitlyn had deftly removed the offending band, brushed out Olivia’s hair, and put the ponytail back—dead center this time—had passed without comment by Olivia, but it had been a day that set Kaitlyn to singing. Now, under Kaitlyn’s care, Olivia’s hair shimmered like watered silk and fell just past her shoulders in a smooth, even layer.
At Home in Last Chance Page 3