“Omigod, Kendall, slow down!” I shouted, horrified by his sudden disappearance and cry for help. I skied in pursuit of him.
“Help me, Jesuuuuuuus!” Another scream in the distance.
I managed to catch up enough to keep him in sight, but I felt helpless as I watched him avoid a tree, barely missing it but taking a very nasty fall. I yelled out to him and there was no response. “Kendall!” I yelled again.
This time, I heard slight groans of pain and when I got closer, he laid tangled like a pretzel, his poles in opposite directions of his motionless body.
I stopped, popped off my skis to trudge through the snow. Thankfully, a ski instructor leading a small group of skiers approached us, stopping to call for help on her walkie-talkie. I kneeled down by Kendall’s side to comfort him as we both heard the instructor yell out, “We’ve got a skier down! Location, 5 miles north side of Powder Stache.”
The severe chill from the freezing temperatures were no comparison to the chill that ran through my body hearing this grown man cry out in pain. I hovered over him and tried to reassure him that he was going to be okay.
When Kendall let out a major yell from the pain, I let out a loud cry to Heaven, “God, please let him be okay!”
My day of skiing was cut short because I decided to stay with Kendall. I rode on the back of the Ski Patrol Medic’s snowmobile and we were followed by a toboggan carrying my injured friend down the hill, to the nearby hospital.
CHAPTER TEN
After a few hours at the hospital, Kendall was finally released bruised and sprained, but thankfully not broken. Turned out his extra clothing helped him during his collision. Had he hit the tree he successfully avoided, it would have been a very ugly ending.
Against my advice, he wanted to go chill out at the Longhorn Après Ski Bar & Grill. “It’s either that or be cooped up in my hotel room while everyone else is having fun and that’s not an option,” he told me.
We arrived at the ski-in, ski-out bar & grill where skiers and boarders came to unwind after ripping up the slopes of Whistler. Kendall’s knee was in a brace and as he hobbled with the use of crutches, we entered the place that was buzzing with energy, music and non-stop chatter.
I spotted a good place for us to lounge near a fireplace. As I helped him get comfortable, he kept reminding me that I didn’t have to give up the rest of my ski day just for him.
“Are you kidding? This is the least I can do,” I told him as a waitress approached us to take drink orders. “What do you want to drink?” I asked.
“Something strong!”
I turned to the waitress and ordered two hot apple ciders and some water. In a somewhat maternal tone I told him, “That’s about as strong as you’re getting. You can’t have alcohol with pain killers in your system.”
He flashed a smile and gently tapped my knee. “Look at you, Nurse Pilar.”
I explained that I was simply looking out. “You tried skiing with me, knowing good and well you couldn’t ski. I don’t need any more guilt on my conscience, sir.”
He tried to downplay the incident by reminding me that his injury was just a sprain.
I was a little annoyed because I knew he could’ve actually broken a bone and I reminded him, “F.Y.I., snow plowing is for bunny hills, not advanced blue runs.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, next time,” he calmly said as the waitress returned with our drinks.
“Next time, you need to take a lesson.”
And without a beat, he chimed back, “Next time, you can teach me.”
I couldn’t control the smile that stretched across my face without my permission. Who said there would be a next time, though I enjoyed his flirtatious presumption. I grabbed my mug of cider and as I slowly blew on it before sipping, I caught Kendall completely engrossed with my actions as if he were watching me in slow motion. I took a sip from the mug.
“So, tell me about Mr. Perfect,” he said as he took a sip of his hot cider.
“You’re kidding, right? After what you’ve been through today, why do you want to hear about him?” I asked.
“I don’t really care about him. I want to know what it takes to make a gorgeous woman, such as yourself, finally decide to say yes and with this thing on my leg, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. Enlighten a brother.” He wanted to know, and I felt like talking about it. “He fit the criteria. You know, my mental checklist of things I desired in a mate.” Kendall nodded as I continued. “We dated in college, broke up, reunited years later right after I turned thirty and after several steady years as a couple, he popped the question. We were engaged for a year and my life was right on schedule, or so I thought.” Kendall seemed interested giving me his undivided attention as I continued my story. “I will say, often I found myself trying to be the woman he wanted me to be, instead of allowing him to love me for who I am, flaws and all.” He stopped mid sip from his cider and squinted his eyes to curiously look me up and down.
Flaws? What, not you?” I asked him if that was him or the drugs talking and then added, “Yes, flaws.”
“I’m just joking. We’ve all got ‘em. I guess it’s all about finding the right person with flaws you’re willing to embrace,” he said.
“Or at least tolerate,” I added and he agreed.
As the fireplace blazed, he leaned closer in my direction and softly said, “There’s this quote by Bob Marley that I love. ‘If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worth it. ‘Truth is everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.”
I let that sobering quote sink in for a second. “I guess I should feel blessed that I wasn’t the one worth suffering for,” I said with a question in my tone.
He nodded. “Basically, yes.”
It was time for me to flip the script. “Women get asked this all the time...”
Before I could continue, he tried to finish my question. “What? Am I attracted to you? The answer is Yes.”
“No,” I responded.
“Yes, I am attracted to you,” he said with a sly grin.
I shot him a look to let him know I was serious and he apologized for cutting me off. “Go ahead, continue.”
I asked him, “Why aren’t you married?”
Without having to think too hard, he willingly answered, “I’ve had a few close calls but I guess I haven’t found that one I’m willing to suffer for.”
Almost on cue, I accidentally bumped his leg, causing Kendall to wince and yell out in pain, “Ahhhhh, owwwww! Speaking of suffering.”
“Omigod! I am so sorry.” I grabbed his hand. Are you okay?” Without answering, he pulled a bottle of pills from his pocket.
“I will be, once I pop one or ten of these pain killers.” He struggled to open the bottle.
I took the bottle and dished out a pill. “One is all you need,” I said as I handed him a glass of water.
Although he was in pain, it appeared that Kendall was enjoying this one-on-one time with me. I had to admit, I was comfortable around him and it didn’t bother me at all that my first day of skiing was spent playing Nurse Pilar.
“So, where were we?” he asked.
“You were telling me why you haven’t got down on bended knee.”
Before I could retract that statement, he laughed. “Oh, you got jokes. Ouch!”
“No, just really bad timing. Let’s change the subject or just sip cider.” I wanted to get his mind off of the pain I had caused him. Kendall didn’t seem to mind the inquisition and took my hand as he made it a point to keep his word. “I guess I haven’t felt compelled to get down on bended knee, probably because I’m a little too cautious.” He went on to explain that after watching his parents split up and one too many of his friends’ marriages end in bitter divorce, he was cool on the whole marriage thing. He asked me if my parents were still together and I was proud to tell him that they had just celebra
ted their thirty-ninth anniversary and I added the fact that they actually still loved each other.
He was impressed and told me that I was blessed to have that example as a reference. “I’ve been in several long-term relationships that seem to fade before marriage came into view, but I learned a lot.” He had my attention as he continued, “I don’t think it has to take a long relationship to know whether someone is marriage material. When you know, I guess you know.”
Strangely, I agreed with him, coming to the conclusion that perhaps it took my ex-fiancé several years to figure out something he probably knew early on in our relationship.
At that moment, Karma appeared from the crowd and broke up our serious discussion. She plopped down on the couch right next to me. “Girl, where have you been? Sunny and I have been trying to reach you all day.” Then, her attention shifted to Kendall’s leg propped up sporting a brace. “And what happened to you, Juicy Fruit?” Karma asked.
Kendall started to explain, but then, paused to ask, “What did you just call me?”
I shot Karma a warning look and told Kendall to ignore my friend. “Where’s Sunny” I asked.
She pointed in the direction of the Karaoke stage where Sunny and Kendall’s friend, Taylor were entertaining the crowd performing Ricky Martin’s “Livin’ la Vida Loca.”
Kendall and I both laughed. He said, “Looks like she’s living la vida loca up there with my boy.”
Karma was amused, but she still zeroed in on Kendall’s situation. “So again, what happened to you, Kendall?”
He explained that he got a little MCL sprain trying to follow me down the hill.
“Only problem, he failed to mention that he couldn’t ski,” I was sure to add.
“Correction, I’ve skied... once. When I was thirteen,” he tried to justify.
“Oh, that is so cute... and dumb,” Karma joked.
When I snapped through my teeth, “Karma!” she tried to innocently cover up.
“What? I said it was a cute gesture,” she said.
Kendall was a good sport about Karma’s dig at him and in the midst of our laughter, my focus suddenly shifted when glancing across the crowded room, I spotted Jonathan strolling in along with an attractive woman and their matching ski attire confirmed they were together. Without a second thought, I excused myself from the company of Karma and Kendall and walked directly over to my ex-fiancé who had the nerve to be in the same space as I with his new woman.
I tapped him on the shoulder. “What are you doing here?”
Clearly shocked, Jonathan tried to play it cool, but stumbled over words. “Hey, hi, Pilar. Um, I’m here to ski. Uh, this is Courtney.”
I glanced at Courtney and never one to be flat out rude, I offered a very dry and direct, “Hello, Courtney. I’m Pilar, Jonathan’s ex-fiancée.”
It was an awkward moment for both her and Jonathan and my ‘don’t start none, won’t be none’ expression probably made her a little nervous.
She sweetly said, “Hi, nice to meet you,” but after my cold expression, she realized it was a lost cause as far as small-talk went. “O-kay. Jonathan, I’m gonna go grab that table over there,” she said to her new man as she quickly left our encounter.
When he said, “Okay, babe,” I had to take a jab.
“Babe? Didn’t take you long to move on. You and Courtney, excuse me, ‘babe’ are looking kind of chummy.” Jonathan explained that Courtney was just a friend and I had to ask him if she knew she was in the “friend zone” because their matching ski wear dictated otherwise. Time and effort went into coordinating those adorable purple outfits and I hardly believed Courtney did it along with traveling to romantic Whistler, BC thinking she was “just a friend.”
He repeated the fact that she was just a friend, and I cut him off, “No explanation necessary.”
“Look Pilar, my friend invited me on this trip. I’m taking things one day at a time,” he felt the need to explain.
“Well, clearly your days are more like a year, as evident by your little ski outfits.”
Yes, using the word “little” to describe what people strive for in life is a total and intentional jab and in this case, I meant it. Petty, party of one! I had to remind Jonathan that he broke my heart. “I’m honest enough to say that seeing you here, with another woman so quickly after our break up, hurts.”
“It’s been two months,” he tried to defend.
“We were together for the last four years so forgive me for not being able to move on so quickly, Jonathan.”
It was hard for him to look me in my teary eyes, so instead he just looked down and softly said, “I’ve gotta go.”
“Yeah, you do. Babe is waiting for you... jerk!” I snapped as he walked away from me trying to avoid a scene. As he slid in the nearby booth next to Courtney, I quickly turned away before giving him and his new boo the chance to see a tear flow down my cheek. Moving through the crowd I bumped into Sunny.
“Hey, girl. Was that Jonathan?” she asked. I told her it was and that I was leaving.
Sensing I was in no mood to talk, she kept it light. “Okay, well we’ll see you back at the townhouse. There’s a big party later in the village,” and before she could go on about the amount of cuties expected to be in attendance, I told her I was going home and made a mad dash for the door. I didn’t even look back in Kendall’s direction because I didn’t want him to see the emotional break down I was about to have. Thankfully, my phone, wallet and key were all tucked away in different parts of my ski jacket, which made it easy for me to simply disappear.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I know my girlfriends returned to the townhouse shocked to see that I was gone leaving only a note behind that explained why I left. It was impossible for me to enjoy my time in
Canada knowing that my ex was there in close proximity. Kendall crossed my mind and although there was a mutual attraction, my emotions were in shambles and he didn’t deserve being the rebound guy so I felt like making a clean break was the right thing to do. When I found out there was a flight leaving from Vancouver that evening, I gathered my things and caught a shuttle from Whistler, prepared to camp out in the airport in the event I got bumped from standby.
Days later after my early departure from Canada, I was back to life in D.C. Emotionally drained, I was able to get through my days with minimal crying, which was reserved for the Ladies room at work, in my car during lunch, and anytime a random reminder of Jonathan would cross my mind.
Radio station WHUR-FM, was the sound of Washington, but lately it seemed to consistently cause me to weep especially during the Quiet Storm show. Their line-up of relaxing R&B, smooth jazz and ol’ school songs served as the soundtrack to what had been our love.
This was the first time I truly understood what ‘going through’ meant. No going around, no shortcut to get to the other side of my heartbreak. I had to go through this experience understanding that there would be another side to this madness. My Mom recently tried to encourage me by explaining that my life was like a lump of gold going through fire to have all impurities burned away. On the other side of that fire, the gold became stronger, shining more brilliant and I was ready for that shine in my personal life. Jill Scott’s song gave new meaning to living my life like it’s golden.
One evening after work, I decided to take a drive through Rock Creek Park to clear my head. Dead smack in the heart of the district, Rock Creek Park is a national park, an oasis away from the city, a metropolitan paradise with majestic trees, winding roads, sprawling homes, fresh air and you can literally travel from the Maryland/D.C. border to the Northern Virginia side of the Potomac River. During the drive I was somewhat on autopilot as I traveled the secluded and dimly lit Rock Creek Parkway and the waterworks began as I cried hard while blasting the radio.
“Lord, please take this pain away!” I cried out and at that moment, Mary Mary’s song “Yesterday” started to play.
Tina and Erica Campbell sang my exact sentiments: “I’ve had
enough heartache, enough headache, I’ve had so many ups and downs, don’t know how much more I can take, see I’ve decided that I’ve cried my last tear, yesterday.”
I cried hard having church right there in my car. “Yes, girl! Sing that song!” I yelled out unaware that I had started to accelerate on the gas; my car was flying down the highway. I guess I was in a trance but I snapped out of it when a deer trotted across the road and before I knew it, the car spun and screeched nearly missing the animal. It was at that moment that my soul cried out, “Get your life, girl!”
When my car came to a terrifying halt, the deer was nowhere in sight. I had a moment of clarity as the song hit the crescendo: “ Yesterday, yesterday, I decided to put my trust in you. Yesterday, yesterday, I realized that you will bring me through.”
A Good Thing Page 6