The Lost Boy and The Gardener's Daughter

by Todd, Ian

  “Funny ye should hiv asked that, Pat, because he’s jist walked intae the office as we speak. He’s goat a mongrel dug wae him that looks like a pirate. A pirate! Aye, Ah think it’s because ae its dud eye. Whit’s wrang wae its eye, Pat’s asking?” Greasy Jake growled fae the desk where he wis sitting wae a phone up tae his ear.

  “A big chookter farmer booted it oot.”

  “A big chookter farmer booted it oot. Aye, that’s whit he said. Aye, okay, Ah’ll tell him. See ye, Pat.”

  “Awright, Jake?” Paul asked Greasy Jake Munro, heid bummer in The Big Man’s legal and no-so-legal scrap metal business.

  “Well, Ah am, bit Ah’m no so sure aboot yersel. The Big Man says ye’ve tae get yer hee-haws up tae the club, as in pronto.”

  “Kin Ah leave ma bag and ma dug here until Ah get back, Jake?”

  “Whit’s its name?”

  “Wan-eye.”

  “Wan-eye? Whit kind ae name is that fur a dug? Whit the fuck’s wrang wae Genghis or Rebel like the rest ae the dugs in the toon? How come ye hiv tae be different tae everywan else?” Jake asked, staunin there, wearing a string vest that looked as if it hidnae been washed since the Second World War.

  “They’ve aw goat two eyes, so they hiv,” Paul replied, tying the rope oan tae the back ae Jake’s chair.

  “His he been fed?”

  “Naw.”

  “Right, well, first things first,” Jake said, ignoring Paul as he heided towards the filing cabinet and pulled oot a tin ae Kennomeat.

  Paul hid known Jake aw his life. Jake’s boy, Sammy, wis wan ae Paul’s pals. Paul’s ma went tae the bingo wae Sammy’s ma and they shared their winnings wae each other if wan ae them won. Jake separated fae Sammy’s ma when he wis younger, bit Jake wis still always aboot the hoose. Sammy hid been in St Ninian’s fur a while bit hid goat shipped up tae the closed block in Rossie Farm. He wis the spitting image ae his da in size and stature. Nae fucker messed Sammy aboot. He wis quite gentle-natured bit when he let rip, everywan wae any sense did a disappearing act. He’d knocked a couple ae the brothers oot wan night, efter wan ae them hid refused tae gie him an aspirin tae ease the pain ae the toothache that he’d hid. The stupid priest hid telt him tae stoap whining and that he’d get something in the morning when the early shift came oan, as he wanted tae get hame tae watch Take Yer Pick. Bad move. This hid resulted in a deathly silence in the place as aw they boys, hinging aboot, waited fur Sammy’s response.

  “Is that right?” Sammy hid asked, knocking the pair ae them oot, before turning and walking away.

  Because none ae the other brothers in the place hid heard whit wis gaun oan, they’d lain, moaning oan the flair, fur aboot five minutes before wan ae them hid managed tae stagger up oan tae his feet and press the alarm bell. The other wan hid jist lain there, dribbling bloody spit oot the side ae his gub. Sammy’s da, Jake, always seemed tae be aboot when Paul wis growing up. Everywan always referred tae him as Greasy Jake, although no tae that face ae his. He must’ve been aboot six feet four tall and wis as broad as a brick shitehoose. His heid wis shaped like a bullet and unless ye knew him personally, he wid scare the shite oot ae Dracula. As well as hivving a mass ae dark greasy hair and skin, he looked like a mountain gorilla, wae hauns always black wae car grease and oil and as big as shovels. Tony said that they hauns and erms ae his came in handy fur crushing the life oot ae people before slinging their bodies intae the boots ae empty cars and turning them intae steel cubes in the crusher. Paul wisnae too sure whether that wis true or no, but anywan wae any sense didnae mess wae Greasy Jake. He’d heard that even The Big Man wis a bit wary ae him.

  “Right, Jake, Ah’m aff up tae see Pat. Ah’ll see ye later. Mind and get Chic tae gie me ma number plates back.”

  “Ah’ll no bother haudin ma breath,” the greasy gorilla replied ominously.

  “Well, well, in the name ae the wee man. If it isnae the big shot Paul McBride himsel. We’ve been looking aw o’er the place fur that arse ae yours,” Shaun Murphy said, as Paul strolled intae the club, trying tae look calm, though feart that he wis jist aboot tae shite in they pants ae his.

  “Awright, Shaun? Awright, Pat?”

  “Ye know, Ah wis jist saying tae a couple ae the boys the other day there that Ah’ve always been a right admirer ae Tony and his wee manky crew. Come closer and let me see ye, Paul. Aye, nothing’s changed, eh? Still stoatingly healthy and handsome in an ugly sort ae way and as slippery as a greasy conger eel, eh?” The Big Man said tae Shaun.

  “Aye, bit as thick as mince. Who the fuck wid’ve thought this bunch ae manky shitehooses wid’ve ended up wae a Duke’s daughter oan their hauns, eh? It’ll be a long time supping porridge noo fur the lot ae youse wankers,” Shaun sniggered, aiming his wisdom in Paul’s direction.

  “Ach, well, Ah’m no sure aboot that,” Paul replied, looking at The Big Man.

  “Y’know, Shaun his goat a point there. Whit the fuck possessed youse tae think ye wid get away wae something as big as this, eh?”

  “Who?” Paul asked, wearing his best innocent look oan that coupon ae his.

  “Aye, well, it’s lucky fur youse that yer Uncle Pat here is in a position tae help youse oot, bit ye’ll need tae play the game or youse ur fucked,” The Big Man warned him, ignoring his innocence line.

  “Ah think we’ve goat everything under control at oor end, Pat.”

  “Right, here’s ma offer, and it’s non-negotiable. Ah’ll take care ae the floozy this end. We’ll deal directly wae the family and wance they settle, we’ll split it seventy thirty. Take it or leave it.”

  Paul’s brain wis scrambling tae take in whit The Big Man hid said and tae come up wae the right response. He felt a wee surge ae hope and a chink ae light streaming intae the room. The main thing wis no tae upset The Big Man.

  “Ah’m sorry Pat, but Ah’m no here tae negotiate. Ah’m here oan another matter. Tony never mentioned anything tae me aboot passing her oan tae yersel or anywan else. If ye want a stake, ye’ll need tae speak tae him, bit offering us thirty per cent ae something we awready own, wid probably no even be considered, Ah widnae think.”

  “Listen, ya fuck-wit, ye. That Gucci wan disnae hiv a say in whit happens next. Ye heard Pat…this is non-negotiable,” Scarface growled.

  “Aye, well, as Ah’ve said, if ye’re no happy, ye’ll need tae talk tae Tony.”

  The Big Man stared silently across at Paul. Paul felt the sweat dribble doon between the cheeks ae his arse.

  “Sixty forty and no a penny mair…and Ah mean it.”

  “That sounds a bit mair generous, Pat, bit Ah think Tony wis talking aboot us daeing oor ain negotiations wae The Duke. Ye’d need tae speak tae him.”

  “Well, where the fuck is he then?” The Big Man screamed at him, brushing a wisp ae hair away fae they mad eyes ae his, before resuming his baleful stare.

  “Aye, well, ye see, Ah hivnae goat a clue. Ah’m jist the message boy aboot here. They’re working oot how tae get the lassie intae the toon. The last time Ah saw them wis earlier the day, oot in Stirling, when we transferred her intae another set ae wheels. Ah wis the wan that snatched her. Ma job wis done by that point, so it wis. Ah’m here tae affload the Landy that Ah used tae get her away fae her ma and da’s fancy castle.”

  “Dae ye expect us tae believe that wan? Listen, Pat, Ah say we take this eejit away and take a blowtorch tae they baws ae his. He’ll soon tell us where the bitch is,” Shaun snarled.

  “Paul, Paul, ye’re no listening, son. There’s no way in a month ae Sundays that youse bampots will get away wae this, withoot ma help and ma negotiating skills,” The Big Man butted in soothingly, ignoring his right-haun man.

  “Ah kin only repeat whit Ah’ve jist said, Pat. Ye’d need tae take this up wae Tony himsel.”

  Silence.

  Paul stood listening tae his heartbeat thumping aff ae his collarbone. He could feel his left leg begin tae tremble. He pressed it against the table so hard that he felt it gaun numb. There wis only The Big Ma
n and Shaun present, bit he knew fine well that he widnae be able tae take the two ae them if they went fur him. He might be able tae get in a punch or two, bit they’d break his back tae disable him and then torture the information oot ae him somewhere else.

  “When kin he come in fur a wee chat?”

  “Ah won’t see him until the morra efternoon. Ah kin pass oan yer message then.”

  “If Ah think that you or they pals ae yers ur working a flanker oan me, ye’ll wish tae fuck ye wur put doon at birth.”

  “Ah hear whit ye’re saying, Pat, bit Tony’s yer man. Whit he says goes.”

  “So, whit aboot yersel, Paul? Surely you and me kin come tae some arrangement,” The Big Man asked, trying a different tactic. “You tell me where he’s goat the lassie and ye kin walk oot ae here the day wae a grand in yer sky rocket. Nowan needs tae know.”

  “Ah don’t know where the lassie is, Pat…honest.”

  “Dae ye think we’re fucking stupid, stupid?” Scarface Al snarled beside him, building himsel up tae go fur Paul at a nod fae The Big Man.

  Silence.

  “Right, that heap ae scrap ye took intae Chic. Whit ur ye efter fur it?” The Big Man finally said, breaking the silence.

  “Five hunner.”

  “A set ae wheels that’s been used in a kidnap and is as hot as a poker and ye want five hunner smackers fur it?” Shaun laughed.

  “Well, that’s whit we’re looking fur. There’s no a mark oan it.”

  “And whit if Ah tell ye Ah’m no interested?” The Big Man asked him.

  “Ah’ll take it elsewhere.”

  “There’s nae a fucking scrappy in the toon that wid take that aff yer hauns and ye know it,” Shaun sneered, though noo a lot less volatile.

  “Three hunner,” The Big Man said.

  “Ah’ll need it in cash…the day…plus Ah need a wee shot ae a clean set ae wheels.”

  “Whit fur?” Shaun wanted tae know.

  Silence.

  “Oan wan condition. Tony his tae come and discuss oor wee business partnership the morra. If he disnae, there’s gonnae be trouble. Go and speak tae Jake aboot the wheels. Shaun, gie Paul here the three hunner.”

  “Bit…”

  “The dosh, Shaun,” The Big Man repeated.

  “Kin Ah get an envelope while ye’re at it?”

  “Whit dae ye think this is, a fucking post office?” The scar-faced prick growled.

  “Gie it tae him in an envelope, Shaun,” The Big Man said.

  When Paul left the club, he heided straight alang Hanover Lane and nipped intae Queen Street Station by the North Hanover Street entrance. A bizzy wis hinging aboot, wandering aimlessly between the gates tae the platforms and the entrance oot oan tae George Square, keeping his beady eyes oan who wis coming and gaun. Paul also saw Wan-bob Broon, wan ae The Big Man’s heavies, skulking aboot o’er at the Queen Street entrance. Paul couldnae see Jimmy, his brother-in-law, so he doubled back tae the taxi rank queue at the entrance he’d jist come in and nipped alang tae the goods depot section. He spotted Jimmy towing a long trailer full ae parcels and newspapers oan a three-wheeled Scammell truck. Jimmy’s face drapped when he saw Paul.

  “Ah cannae bloody believe this. First ye invade ma hoose and noo ye invade ma work,” he growled, disgusted.

  “Here, dae me a favour, Jimmy, kin ye gie this tae Kathleen tae haud oan tae fur me and Ah’ll collect it later?” Paul asked him, taking the envelope oot ae the inside ae his shirt and haunin it tae him.

  “Whit is it?” he asked suspiciously, squeezing it wae baith hauns.

  “It’s okay…it’s legit. Ah telt Kathleen aboot it and it wis her that said Ah should gie it tae yersel tae take hame. Ah’ll be up later tae collect it.”

  “Jist make sure that lassie is oot ae ma hoose by the time Ah get hame.”

  “Whit time ur ye finished at?”

  “Ten o’clock the night.”

  “Aye, well, she’ll be long gone by then,” Paul said, aboot turning and heiding aff tae pick up Wan-eye and his set ae wheels.

  Chapter Seventy Five

  Saba sat oan the couch and looked aboot. This wis clearly the sitting room fur the family. It wis quite small. The couch stretched across the two windaes, which looked oan tae the busy road below. As well as the couch, there wis an ermchair and a wee coffee table in front ae a gas fire. Wean’s toys wur scattered aboot the flair. In wan corner, tae the left ae the open windae, there wis a bird cage oan a tall stand, wae its door open, hoosing a budgie, and a cat, by the name ae Tiger, lying sprawled alang the back ae the couch underneath the bird cage, pretending tae be sleeping, wae its tail swishing up and doon every noo and again. Oan the opposite side ae the room fae the windae, there wis a recessed area that held a child’s bed and a cot. Kathleen and Jimmy’s weans lay sleeping, hivving an efternoon nap. Saba smiled at the sound ae wan ae the weans snoring loudly. She hidnae realised that weans snored. Efter Jimmy and Paul hid left, Kathleen hid put the weans tae bed and hid drawn a hinging bed sheet across the opening ae the recess tae gie the weans their ain space. Wance they wur asleep, there hid been an embarrassing silence between Saba and Kathleen. Tae break the ice, Saba hid asked Kathleen if she could hiv a bath. The embarrassing silence hid grown mair intense before Kathleen hid finally spoken.

  “Ah’m sorry, bit that’s no possible, unless ye want tae wash in cauld water. Jimmy disnae get his wages till Friday and Ah hivnae any money fur the gas meter tae heat the water,” she’d said, clearly embarrassed.

  “Oh, I have money. How much do you need?” Saba hid replied.

  “Look, Ah’m sorry…if Ah’d known ye wur coming, Ah wid’ve arranged something,” Kathleen hid said, red-faced.

  “No, it’s me that should be apologising to you. Please don’t feel under any obligation. I wasn’t aware that I would be coming here either. Look, how much does the, er, meter need?” Saba asked, lifting her purse oot ae her bag.

  “A bob.”

  “A bob?”

  “Sorry, it takes a shilling.”

  “Well, look, here’s three shillings,” Saba hid said, haunin Kathleen the three coins.

  Saba wis annoyed at Paul. He’d barely been at his sister’s hoose fifteen minutes before he’d disappeared. She wid’ve made mair ae an issue aboot it, bit didnae want tae make a fuss in front ae his sister.

  “So tell me, yer Ladyship, how in hell hiv ye hid the misfortune tae get in tow wae that wee brother ae mine?”

  “Ladyship? No, no, you don’t have to call me that,” Saba laughed, embarrassed. “Please call me Saba. Everyone else does.”

  O’er the next couple ae hours, Saba explained how she’d ended up in three o two Keppochhill Road in Springburn. Some ae the time the baith ae them ended up laughing hysterically, especially when Saba telt Kathleen aboot Paul driving aff and leaving her in the middle ae naewhere, only fur her tae come across him sitting beside a pink Mr Whippy van, drinking a bottle ae Irn Bru at the tap ae a mountain.

  “And he’s got a wee dug as well? Whit’s it called?” Kathleen asked.

  “One-eye.”

  “Wan-eye?”

  “That’s what he calls it,” Saba said, explaining how the pup came tae lose an eye.

  “We…meaning masel, Ma and Da…never knew he wis up in the Highlands. We never knew he wis in a mental hospital either. Ah’ve come across him when he’s been oan the run fae that approved school he wis sent tae, bit apart fae that, Ah don’t think Ma and Da hiv seen him since he wis eleven or twelve. The last time Ah saw him wis when he wis oan the run and him and his pals gied me and Jimmy a haun tae flit.”

  “Flit?”

  “Move hoose. Ah remember asking him whether he’d been up tae see Ma, bit he jist shook his heid and asked me why he wid dae that, given that he hidnae seen or heard fae her since he wis put away. It disnae make sense tae me. Yer ma is still yer ma, no matter how long ye’ve been apart. Ah’ve never been convinced that she disnae love him…that’s whit he thinks…bit Ah think as far as he�
��s concerned, he’s moved oan somewhere else. Some decision fur a boy who hisnae been hame since he wis eleven, eh?” Kathleen asked, wiping a tear away fae her eye.

  “I’m sorry, Kathleen,” Saba whispered, leaning across and placing her haun oan Kathleen’s knee.

  “Oh, don’t feel sorry. This is life in the McBride clan.”

  “You know, when I first met Paul, he came across as very aggressive. I had never met anyone my own age with that sort of anger. I now know that it wasn’t really aimed at me, but at my father.”

  “Oh, Ah’m sorry tae hear that, Saba.”

  “No, no, it’s nothing to do with you. In fact, believe it or not, my father deserves all he got,” Saba replied.

  Saba explained tae Kathleen aboot the relationship between her father and Innes MacKay, how there hid been bad blood between them for generations and that, as long as her father wis still The Duke, it wid probably continue. She explained aboot the boat and the road trip and how she’d come tae understaun Paul better as each mile went oan.

  “Saba, ye’re no falling fur that wee brother ae mine’s, by any chance, ur ye?”

  “Handsome though he is, Kathleen, there’s someone else in the frame for him, or at least, there was.”

  “Whit, no another titled Lady?” Kathleen asked, astonished.

  “No, her name’s Morven and she’s lovely. I went to school with her when I was younger. She’s still at school, but works for my father part-time. Actions speak louder than words and I’m afraid, I’ve never really lived up to the title that was bestowed on me when I was born. To tell you the truth, I’ve been a right pain in the ass. Believe it or not, it was Paul who brought me to my senses. I hope now that I haven’t left it too late and that I can turn my life around and try to live up to what is expected of me.”