by Alyssa Hope
Then, as in a bad dream, out of the corner of his eye Reni saw a small group of the militants coming up behind his scouts, neither group aware of each other yet. He screamed at his scouts in his mind, and they spun to defend themselves even as the militants opened fire on them.
“The scouts …”
It was every nightmare he’d ever had as a commanding officer, sitting helpless unable to do anything. It seemed that everyone was firing at everyone else, and he couldn’t tell if any of his people were hit or not.
His transport officers pulled up the one lot of captives who they had already locked onto, then the scouts, then the second lot of captives, then the two in the diversion team who were still shooting off grenades, and then – finally – Donovan and Sari, all in the middle of a firestorm of deadly intent. The militants didn’t seem to care who they killed or whether they died themselves, but Reni and his crew cared desperately about getting all of their people, all of the captives, regardless of who they were, back to the ship safely.
In the middle of all this Reni found himself admiring the calm precision with which Donovan and Sari worked together, holding their position and laying down covering fire for everyone else.
“Medical, all medical to the large transport bay, now!”
Thank the gods it was still set up as an emergency ward.
Reni was running for the bay as soon as Donovan and Sari were transported, and found himself back in the nightmare of blood and pain that he thought he’d left behind in the cellars of the ruined town below.
The medical staff had already been there, of course, hoping that they weren’t going to be needed, but knowing they might be. They calmly performed triage, sorting those who needed help the most from those who could wait. In one part of his mind Reni was profoundly relieved that Donovan, Sari and the two rescued blue ones were in the group, the largest group, who were able to wait, all holding onto each other in gratitude for life.
In another part of his mind, he was processing that one of the two scouts, covered in blood, was not receiving any attention at all. The other scout was kneeling beside him with his head in his hands. Reni fell to his knees on the other side of that one who was – had been – his friend as well as his crew member.
Lita had taken a direct hit and there was nothing that anyone could do for him. Reni sat cross-legged on the floor beside him and tried not to cry. Captains didn’t cry, did they? Maybe he wasn’t a good Captain. Tears ran down his face.
He crossed Lita’s hands on his bloodied chest, and closed his eyes for the final time. The black eyes that had always been sparkling with life and laughter were now dull and empty.
A small furry body pushed onto his lap and just snuggled there, as though trying to give him comfort, but there was no comfort to be had. He stroked the pup, and tried to get his emotions back under control.
“Sir? What do we do now?”
He stared blankly. We mourn, he thought, and then – we turn this miserable patch of desert into a graveyard for those who did this. But no, it was not their way to exact that kind of vengeance, and Lita would not have wanted it. He was the Captain, he had to set the example here.
“Pull back to a higher orbit, make sure we are well out of range. Make sure Medical and all the people here have everything they need, all the help they need.”
He got to his feet and made his way to the bridge, still holding the puppy. There was one thing that only he could do, had to do. Lita’s birth triad would have known the instant he passed from this life and he owed them this.
His Communication Officer put the comm link through without being asked. He had a good team, he thought, in a daze, staring at the three tear-stained faces which appeared on the screen, exchanging polite salutations with them before speaking of the harsh reality which they already knew. The three of them were holding onto each other for support. As Captain, Reni stood alone. It was hard for him to find words, and nothing would make the bereaved parents feel better anyway, but he had a responsibility.
“Lita was a good friend, a good officer, and he died saving lives. We can all be proud of him, even though we can also wish, even more, that he was still with us. I am so sorry.”
One of them nodded, and through his tears managed, “Thank you, Captain. He spoke well of you. From the time he was a child he wanted to explore the stars. Now his soul is free to do that. Thank you.”
They all cried, and he reached out a hand to touch the screen as they disconnected.
He nodded to the Comm Officer as he stood. “Thank you for putting that through, for knowing what I would need.”
He made his way slowly back through the ship, wishing he could just crawl into his bed and stay there until they could send someone who could be a real Captain out to replace him. He checked in on the children who Donovan had rescued, just to make sure they were alright. The sight of the children, all curled up together, safe and well-fed, didn’t bring him the satisfaction it should have. They were safe now, but what about their futures?
He made himself stop at the Transport station, where the officers were still sitting, staring blankly at the consoles in front of them.
“You all did well today, no-one could have done it any better. Your skill and speed saved many lives. Thank you.”
The puppy wiggled out of his arms and ran to the youngest of the transport officers, jumping up on his lap and giving him something to concentrate on so that he could maybe pretend he wasn’t sobbing.
Reni felt very old. “Don’t be ashamed of crying. It means you care, and that’s a good thing. Lita was a fine officer, a caring one, and all of us will miss him.”
They didn’t look convinced, so he tried harder to hide the grief on his own face. “Before you go off duty, stop in at the bay and talk to those whose lives you saved.”
He made his way around the bay, making sure he had a word for everyone, and found they had saved more lives than they had thought. Two of the twelve people, who were mostly women, had been carrying babies strapped to their chests, and one woman was bearing, heavily along in her pregnancy.
She cradled her swollen stomach and cried, rocking back and forth. “I thought we were dead, and I didn’t mind for me, but the baby …” She looked up at him, tears running down her face. “One of your people died saving us, I heard. I don’t know how you do things, and I don’t want to offend, but if I may name my baby after the one who died making it possible for this one to live?”
“His family would be honored. His name is, was, Lita, and he was a good friend to many.” He hesitated. “Do you have somewhere to go, to have the baby in safety?”
He could tell by the look on her face that she didn’t, but she was also proud. “I will make do, thank you.”
“We can offer you, any of you here, a home on Cerulea for as long as you need it.” He managed to smile down at the woman. “Lita’s family, his birth triad, are good people, and would consider themselves blessed to be able to help you.”
And a baby in the house would maybe help them heal, as much as that was possible. At least it would give them something to do while they were putting one foot in front of another, trying to recover, waiting for time to pass.
He finally came back to Donovan and Sari, and the two blue ones who sat with them. The minor wounds they had suffered had been bandaged, and they were all just trying to cope with what had happened. Donovan shuffled sideways and pulled him down on the floor between them, although Reni didn’t think it was proper for the Captain to be seen like that, sitting on the floor with tears running down his face.
‘Very proper, beloved. Is the Captain supposed to be a robot with no feelings?’
‘No, but maybe not too many feelings, too much pain.’ He looked over at Sari and the one who was on his lap and in his arms, and hanging on tightly. Sari looked over at him and managed a smile.
‘This is Tani, he is my beloved.’
Reni nodded, returning the almost smile. ‘Go and get some sleep. We can write repo
rts tomorrow.’
Sari got to his feet, pulling Tani up with him. ‘Come on, my beautiful black eyes. Sleep, heal.’
The two hobbled off together, leaning on each other, and Reni could hear Sari purring quietly as he left the bay, and Tani purring back at him, even more quietly. If only it were that easy. It had been a mistake, Reni thought, to accept the promotion, to have to be responsible for so many and so much. So much pain, and he wasn’t strong enough.
Reni just leaned on Donovan, and tried to take in strength from the big human, knowing that their third was leaning on him on the other side, crying quietly. The man’s strong arms held both of them close to him. Would they suck Donovan dry, weaken him?
‘We could get a farm somewhere, raise goats. I hear it’s very satisfying,’ he finally suggested.
‘Or maybe get some sleep, beloved. I hear that’s good for you, too.’
“I can’t do this, I’m no good at it …”
‘At what? Having people you care about getting killed? You should never get good at that, my Captain. You’re off duty right now, I think. Why don’t you show Dena and me where your quarters are, and we’ll all get some sleep.’
Reni looked over at their third. ‘I’m sorry, beloved, Dena …’
Dena looked confused, and wiped his face. ‘For what? For rescuing me? For saving all our lives? For being my beloved?’
‘No, no, of course not, just that I’m not strong enough …’ He remembered what Donovan had said. ‘Are you really Sari’s brother?’
Dena nodded, and managed a wan smile. ‘Gods, I never thought I’d see any of my family again. They called us servants but we were slaves there, and then the masters all ran and left us undefended, and everyone was getting killed around us …’
Reni worked up enough energy to mindtalk to Sari. ‘The family of Tani will want to know that he is safe and well. And you know that the beautiful Dena here, my beloved and Donovan’s, is indeed your sibling? You birth triad will celebrate that. Maybe we should meet in my quarters and put through some communication to the two families back home.’
He could almost hear Sari laughing, albeit weakly. ‘We’re leaning on the wall outside your quarters, sir.’
The Captain’s quarters had the only private comm link, and of course Sari had worked that out almost before he had. Even if privacy wasn’t an issue he wasn’t sure how many of them could make it as far as the bridge right then anyway. Maybe Donovan, who seemed to be a pillar of strength.
In the outer chamber of the Captain’s quarters, Reni stood back as Sari held onto Dena and told their parents the good news. He was caught off guard when Sari suddenly pulled him forward into view and introduced him.
“Reni, my Captain and my friend, and the beloved of our dear Dena.”
The tears he had to face this time were happy ones, and they seemed equally delighted to be introduced to the tall red-headed human who was their newly recovered child’s third. They beamed happily at him, and murmured about what beautiful babies there would be, when the time came.
Babies? It was so hard to change his focus back from death and grieving to celebration and babies. He tried to put a smile on his face, and wondered why Dena flinched and paled. Maybe his smile was not sincere enough. One of Sari’s parental triad smiled at him with understanding.
“We heard that you lost one of your people, and we’re very sorry. It’s so hard to deal with, to balance that with the good.”
He wondered how they could possibly understand, but it turned out that maybe they did, just a little bit.
“We turned our backs for just one minute, didn’t pay enough attention, and Dena was gone, taken … We punished ourselves for years, although we tried not to let the others see it.”
“I’m sure there was nothing you could have done, other than in hindsight,” Reni assured them. “You raised good children in Sari and in Dena. He managed to not only survive but to grow into a fine person because of the solid foundation you gave him. The universe doesn’t make mistakes, even if we can’t see the whole picture.” Gods, he hoped that was true, that there was some sense to any of this.
The three in view on the screen held onto each other, and Dena and Sari held onto him, with Donovan hugging them from behind, and gradually the tears dried again and the smiles won.
“Thank the gods he is safe now, and has found his triad to love and love him.”
They left Sari to introduce Tani, and then pass the happy news on to Tani’s family group. The three of them retreated to Reni’s bedchamber, where Donovan and Dena collapsed onto the big bed there with their arms around each other. Reni sat on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands, trying to work through the fog in his mind.
He was on the verge of getting up and making yet another round of all the posts on the ship when a strong arm came around his waist and pulled him over backwards. He found himself rolled over one warm body and trapped between two of them, between Dena’s smooth body and Donovan’s rougher one. It felt good and he didn’t struggle, and it felt even better when firm lips began to kiss and nibble at his throat, working towards his mouth.
Donovan managed a laugh, alternating caresses between his two blue lovers. ‘I didn’t know why I liked spending so much time with you, Dena. It never occurred to me that I was part of your triad, along with our Captain here.’
The big human kissed Reni, and ran one hand up Dena’s ribcage, murmuring happily at the softness of their hairless skin, even though Dena was much thinner than Reni’s healthy roundness. He rolled over between the two of them so he could kiss first one and then the other, and they both responded with pleasure.
Dena managed a purr back at the big man. ‘I knew, or suspected, but I wasn’t a free person, and I didn’t really understand the stages of morphing. And I didn’t know why I suddenly started to complete the final stage of the morph only after we were taken by those bandits. It was very confusing, until I saw Reni and found out that he had just arrived on the planet right after we were taken. I had been scared that my triad included a crazy militant and a wild red-head, and I didn’t know how we would ever make that work!’
He was trying to make a joke of it, but his voice was shaking. Dena stroked a hand down Donovan’s strong back then back up again, pulling him in closer for badly needed comfort.
‘Beloved,’ Donovan murmured, freely offering that comfort.
The thought of Dena’s imagined triad did make Reni laugh. ‘I knew as soon as this red-head tackled me that he was our third, I just didn’t know who you were, Dena, or where you were! Sari and I had always regretted that we weren’t meant for each other, when we were such good friends. It wasn’t until Donovan mentioned you that I realized we were going back down to rescue Sari’s brother, and that you were the one meant for me. For us. Forever.’
He wiggled against Donovan and smiled at him.
Donovan smiled back. ‘I’m not going to tell you to stop that again, beloved. Or call you a fool. Although I may have words with Dena sometime, about him thinking that I wouldn’t have got him out of that slavery in an instant, him and Tani both. I should have, beloveds or not. It’s just that everything fell apart so quickly at the end there ... ’
Reni thought about it. ‘And are you going to be talking all night, beloved?’ Then he reached over to run a loving hand down Dena’s face and realized that his beloved was crying. For all that Reni had just suffered a loss and a bad day, Dena had gone through so much more, for so long.
He wiped the tears off and kissed him gently, while Donovan moved down to suck and nibble at Dena’s nipples, running his tongue around them as they puckered. Dena moaned happily and Donovan responded by sucking more enthusiastically, stroking his body gently with his hand all the while.
With Dena sufficiently distracted, Reni shifted over and found Dena’s growing erection, brought to life now for the first time as his morph completed and he became a full hermaphrodite, ready to be everything to both his triad lovers, as they were for h
im.
Reni took the hardening shaft in his mouth and purred with joy, causing Dena to arch up off the bed. Reni sucked on it happily, and teased back between Dena’s legs to caress his developing sac and then into the slicked up hole behind it.
‘Beloved, so beautiful …’
Dena writhed under him and Donovan as they both tried to bring him as much happiness as possible, to make up as much as they could for all the years alone in slavery.
‘I’m not alone now, forever not alone now …’ he managed, before he climaxed into Reni’s mouth with a gasp.
Donovan shifted down and pulled Reni up, insisting on tasting the nectar of Dena’s first release as well. He kissed Reni deeply, savoring the sweetness, still running his large hands over every inch of Dena that he could reach.
Dena collapsed into tears, happy tears but still tears, and his lovers sandwiched him between them and rocked him to sleep. Hands caressed him and each other, and gradually all of them relaxed enough to rest and heal.
Chapter 5.
Reni slid out of bed early in the morning, kissing both of his beloveds as he did so. They were exhausted, more so than he was, and he had a ship to run. And a comm call to put through to Oki.
“I don’t think I’m the person for this job, Oki. We lost a crew member yesterday and it ripped me apart.”
Oki stared at him thoughtfully for a minute, and then sighed. “You know why you were selected? Not because your people would follow you anywhere, although they would, but because they knew you cared about them. They don’t want a leader who can lose people and not cry. It’s what you do going forward from here that counts, and from what I’ve heard, so far you’ve done all the right things.”
After a hesitation, Oki asked, “Did you ever hear about the first time I lost crew?”
Reni shook his head. Oki had lost crew more than once? Gods, how did he stand it?
“We were evacuating children from a war zone, and an unstable wall collapsed, killing two of my people and the children they were trying to save. It was horrible for all of us, and there was much talk about what we should have done, could have done … The two were part of a triad, and in the aftermath we almost lost the third as well. I thought I would die, that I was the worst captain ever …”