by Nita Brooks
“You know you are,” she shot back honestly. “I’m not used to this.”
His arms relaxed marginally. “You’ve been in relationships before.”
“Not ones I’ve wanted to protect before.”
Confusion in his eyes, a slight release of tension in his shoulders. “Protect from what?”
Nicola licked her lips. She hadn’t backed down from telling him what was in her heart before. She couldn’t now, not without risking bringing back the pain she’d put in his expression. “From anything that could mess things up. I want to keep this ours for a while. Is there anything wrong with that? Can I savor this before we let other people in?”
He watched her for several long seconds. Finally, he uncrossed his arms and stood. He strolled around the desk and came to her.
“You want to savor us?” His voice was like melted chocolate. He ran a hand up and down her arms.
She released the breath she’d been holding and leaned into him, pressing her palms against his chest. “Can you blame me? You’re kind of decadent.”
His chuckle soothed the worry that had etched itself into her heart. She had the power to hurt him. The opposite had been true in all her other relationships. Typically, guys hurt her. Telling her she wasn’t exactly what they wanted forever. She didn’t want to hurt Damien, but there was also something a little satisfying in knowing he was just as invested in this relationship as she was.
“That doesn’t change you keeping your Cancun trip next week from me.” He sat back on the desk. Nicola settled between his thighs.
“I’m sorry. I agreed, but honestly haven’t been thinking about it. If I could cancel I would, but not only are Quinn and Shonda looking forward to going, it’ll be the only really fun thing I’ve done for the show.”
“Then why would you cancel?”
“I’ve got work to do.”
“You haven’t figured out the scent for Desiree?”
Her stomach sank. She’d convinced herself beach sands and sunshine would prove to be the perfect inspiration, and she’d come back with just the right idea before her meeting with Desiree. So no, she hadn’t figured it out, but yes, she would by the end of the vacation.
She didn’t want Damien to worry about her. “Yes. I’m right on track.”
“You sure? You seemed pretty upset the other day.”
She blew air through her lips and waved a hand. “All in the past. I was being silly about my grandad and blew things out of proportion. Of course, I’m going to figure it out. I’m Nicola King.”
Damien chuckled and wrapped her in his arms. “Yes, you are.”
The confidence and pride in his voice made her want to bask in his admiration and also cry and admit she was a fake. But nobody liked a crybaby. She had plenty of time. Everything would work out.
She stood on her toes and kissed his neck. Breathed in the earthy scent of him. “Yes I am.”
Chapter 27
Nicola only felt a mild sense of regret for taking a trip instead of staying home when she entered their beautiful hotel suite in Cancun. Really, with views like this she shouldn’t be the least bit worried. How could she not be inspired by this view?
They were on the top floor. Brightly colored tile floors opened up to a balcony with a hot tub that overlooked white sand beaches and crystal blue waters. The air smelled of salt, sunshine and lush green vegetation.
“This place is amazing!” Shonda exclaimed. Her friend’s flowing white skirt blew in the breeze. The off-shoulder yellow top exposed smooth brown skin.
“Didn’t I tell you this was going to be great?” Quinn said leaning a hand on the balcony; Quinn looked twenty-two instead of thirty-two in her cutoff jean shorts and dark orange halter. Her long extensions were swept to the side in a loose braid. Aviator sunglasses hid the top half of her face.
Nicola felt plain standing next to her friend and sister. She’d traveled for comfort in white Bermuda shorts and a light blue v-neck shirt. Damien had said she was sexy when he’d seen her before she left. Either he didn’t know what sexy was, or he really liked her and wanted to flatter her.
She would believe in the latter.
“It’s inspiring,” Nicola said.
That’s what she was there for. Inspiration. She would figure out a scent for Desiree. She would rise to the challenge.
“Yes,” Quinn said, clapping her hands. “This should inspire both if you to let loose and have a great time.”
“I’ve already let loose,” Shonda said.
Quinn lowered her shades to give Shonda the side eye. “No, you’ve revenge dated. You haven’t let loose. I want you to hook up with someone sexy on this weekend.” Quinn pointed at Nicola. “You too.”
Nicola raised her hands to ward off the verbal attack. “No hooking up for me.”
Shonda wiggled her eyebrows. “Oh yeah. Nicola already has a man at home.”
Quinn rubbed her hands together and grinned at Nicola. “That’s right. You are breaking off a little something for Damien Hawkins.”
Nicola tried to suppress the I’m smitten smile fighting to take over her face. “Look, can we not make a big deal about me and Damien. We are just seeing how things go, and please let’s not mention anything about what I am or am not breaking off with Damien after Darcy arrives with the camera.”
Darcy’s flight the day before had been cancelled due to a computer glitch at the airport. She was arriving later today. Good thing too, because the delay gave Nicola the chance to warn Shonda and Quinn about what was off limits.
Quinn pulled off her shades. Her arched brows drew together. “Why are you hiding this?”
“I’m not hiding. I just don’t want to make a big deal out of me and him just yet.”
“I don’t understand,” Quinn said. “After the Bobby Blowup, why not shine in the afterglow of a romantic liaison with Damien?”
“No. It’s bad enough my list of regrets is all over the news. Let’s not add another.”
This time Shonda gave Nicola a skeptical look. “You regret being with Damien?”
“No. I’ll regret answering questions about what it was like to date him after everything is over.” Saying that out loud didn’t sound much better.
Quinn waved a hand. “There you go thinking about the end before things have really begun. Just relax, have fun, and maybe things will turn out for the best.”
“Is that how things worked out with you and Omar?” Nicola shot back.
She hadn’t meant for the words to sound so harsh, but Quinn’s Nicola’s-being-stuffy-again tone of voice had pushed a button. She had every right to be cautious about her relationship with Damien. They didn’t have much in common. They hadn’t started out as friends. Now she was supposed to believe in fairytale endings, bask in the glow of a relationship, and tell everyone about her and Damien?
Quinn’s mouth tightened a second before she shrugged and laughed. “You know what, do you. We’ll keep whatever it is you’re doing with Damien secret from the cameras.” Quinn slid her shades back on and propped her straw hat on her head. “I think I’ll go check out the pool.” She was out the door without another word.
Shonda followed Nicola back into the suite. “Are you mad at her about something?”
“No, why would you think that?”
“Because, that Omar remark came out kinda nasty. You know the two of them are having problems.”
Thing was, Nicola hadn’t known that. Not for sure anyway. She got a sour feeling in her midsection.
“How do you know that?” Other than the offhand remark about thinking about leaving, which was quickly followed by an explanation of a not that serious disagreement before their trip to Los Angeles, Quinn hadn’t given any hint of possible trouble with her husband.
Shonda sat on the arm of one of the bright orange lounge chairs in the shared living area. “We talked about it. That’s all she talks about. You know that.”
She didn’t. She and Quinn hadn’t really talked since the L.A. t
rip. Nicola wished she didn’t feel jealous about Quinn telling Shonda and not her. They’d always had a good relationship even if it wasn’t super close, now she felt as if they were slipping further apart.
“I didn’t mean to hit a sore spot,” Nicola said. “I’m just still a little sensitive about everything. The cameras coming, having to report back on how I’m living my best life for a live studio audience, Desiree’s expectations. I’ll apologize to Quinn later.”
Shonda took a deep breath before nodding. Relief washed over her features. “Please do. I understand things are hectic for you, but we are here to have a good time. Let’s not spoil it with a cat fight, okay?”
Nicola snorted. “When have Quinn and I ever fought.”
“That’s the problem. There are years of tension built up from you two not fighting. Let’s not make this be the weekend you both decide to change your minds.”
* * *
Nicola went in search of Quinn an hour after she’d left their suite. She’d figured her sister would need a little time to relax if she’d gotten as upset about Nicola’s comment as Shonda seemed to think she was. Despite her claims to be ready to party, Shonda had fallen asleep on her bed shortly after their talk and was still knocked out. Nicola was tired from the day of travel along with staying up late the night before trying to force a solution to Desiree’s perfume to magically appear in her brain.
She’d hoped to rest up and be refreshed before Darcy arrived with the cameras, but like the night before, her mind wouldn’t shut down. On top of the worry about making the perfect perfume, she worried if wanting to keep her relationship with Damien a secret was foolish. They were an open secret at his studio, but she hadn’t planned to admit to anything between them if asked. Was that a mistake or a smart move?
She hit her temple with the heel of her hand, hoping the act would push worrisome thoughts out of her head. This is why she rarely had relationships. They were so emotionally draining, especially in the beginning. Relationship worries easily diverted focus away from what needed to be done. Which was why she needed to find her sister, make sure they were cool before the cameras started rolling, then pray something on this getaway sparked a fire strong enough to inspire the perfect blend for Desiree’s perfume.
She found Quinn where she thought she would. Outside at the pool bar. She sat alone with a bright fruity drink in front of her. A guy two barstools down from Quinn kept glancing her way, probably hoping to catch her eye, but Quinn was focused intently on her phone.
The urge to silently approach and glance over Quinn’s shoulder to see what captured her attention was strong. Especially since Quinn laughed quietly before her fingers flew over the screen to respond to whatever she’d read. Instead, Nicola cleared her throat as she approached.
“Hey, what are you looking at?” she kept her voice light.
Quinn quickly darkened her phone and turned it face down on the bar. “Nothing. Just videos. Where’s Shonda?” She looked in the direction Nicola had come from.
“Taking a nap.”
“Ah, should have known. She’s a lightweight when it comes to traveling.”
“Well, she does have two kids. I don’t know how she does it now that she’s divorced. I’m tired most afternoons when I get off work, and I don’t have to prepare dinner, go over homework, and help two other people get ready for the next day.” Nicola slid into the barstool next to Quinn.
“I know, she has a lot on her plate. I didn’t mean anything when I called her a lightweight.”
“I know you didn’t.” Nicola kept her voice calm against Quinn’s irritation. Maybe she should have given her sister two hours to chill.
“Why aren’t you sleeping? I’d thought you would want to rest before having to be on for the cameras.” Quinn took a sip of her drink.
The bartender came over and Nicola ordered a strawberry daquiri. She didn’t really want anything to drink, but if she had ordered a soda, Quinn would have just given her crap about coming down here and not having any fun.
“I did for a little bit, then decided to come check out the rest of the resort. What have you found?”
“So far, the bar. Yusef, that’s the bartender, did tell me about all the activities happening today and tomorrow. There’s a lip sync battle in the nightclub later tonight. I think we should go to that.”
“I don’t know about that.”
Yusef placed her drink on the tiled bar. With a grin and a wink, he left them to tend to the group of friends at the other end who wanted a round of shots.
“Come on, Nicola, don’t come all this way to make up for not having fun only to spend the entire time still not having fun. What is it going to take to get you to cut loose?”
“I am going to have fun. I’m already having fun.” She lifted her drink as exhibit A. “I’m here with my sister and best friend. The view is beautiful. What else do we need? Besides, you know fun for me is a book, a beach chair, and endless uninterrupted hours.”
Quinn rolled her eyes but smiled. “Fine. You can lounge during the day with no complaints from me, but the nights are mine. We’re going to have a good time every night here and you’re not going to complain. And you have to because if you don’t, Darcy and the rest of the Your Morning Wake-Up Call crew are going to question why you even chose to do this item on your list of regrets.”
Quinn made a good point. She couldn’t have them follow her down here just to spend hours filming Nicola lounge on the beach. If anyone would ensure she got out of her comfort zone and did something exciting for the cameras, it was Quinn.
“Okay, I’ll give you the nights.” Nicola held up a finger. “But on one condition.”
“What condition? If it’s that I don’t bring up you hooking up with someone while we’re here then the answer to that is no. If Damien isn’t serious enough for you to consider letting people know about, then he’s not serious enough for you to claim to have a boyfriend when you’re on an island with a variety of single men.”
Quinn sucked from her straw. Her knowing glance dared Nicola to argue with her. Nicola wanted to argue. To claim all other men need not apply for a seat at her table because she was with a man who could fill every need. To do that would be to admit in front of the cameras how much she was into Damien. They’d want to know why she wouldn’t flirt. If things ended... when they ended... she’d be right back where she didn’t want to be. Her personal life fodder for a rabid studio audience.
She wouldn’t fight Quinn’s condition, even if she wasn’t happy about it. “Geez, that wasn’t my condition, but now you’re making me reconsider.”
“Then what’s the condition?” Quinn said triumphantly.
Nicola played with the straw in her drink before taking a deep breath and looking at Quinn. “Tell me you’re okay. I mean with your marriage and everything. I’m sorry about what I said up there. I know you and Omar are having troubles, and I was out of line. But I do want to know if things are bad, and if there’s anything I can do to help.”
Quinn’s smile tightened. Defeat flashed quickly in her sister’s dark eyes. She looked away and took another long sip of her drink before she waved off Nicola’s words. “Omar and I are just fine. I know I mentioned leaving a few weeks ago, but that was just me being extra. You know how I can get. It’s like I told you. He’d made me mad, and I spoke too soon. There’s no way I’d leave Omar.”
She would typically have let the conversation drop. Not probe too deep into her sister’s relationship. Keep things light for the weekend. And she would have, if that sense of helplessness hadn’t crept back in Quinn’s voice.
“Why not? I mean, if you aren’t happy? Why stay?”
“Why not. What else am I going to do?” Doubt twisted and contoured the sound of Quinn’s voice. The look in her eye was of someone who was lost.
Nicola placed her hand over Quinn’s. “Quinn, you can go anywhere. You can do anything you want. You don’t have to be tied to Omar if you don’t want to be.”
“That’s easy for you to say, Nicola. You’ve always been the smart one. The one who had her life together. I know you like to be strong and noble and don’t need anybody for anything, but I’m not like that. I’m the screw up. I couldn’t even put together a perfume blend the one time Mom asked us to help. I know she hadn’t expected much from us, but you made Triumph, and I got drunk and ruined my samples. Do you really think someone is going to hire me for anything other than hype girl?”
“Where is this coming from? Of course someone would hire you.” Guilt churned inside Nicola’s gut. “You aren’t a screw up. You’re creative and smart.”
“Nicola, stop.” Quinn held up a hand. “I don’t need your pity or your lies, okay. I came down here to have fun and that’s what I’m going to do. Not let you try and pretend I’m good for anything other than being fun and pretty. Mom and Dad always said it, and I’ve accepted it.”
“Then don’t accept it. Try to step out and do something else. Prove to yourself you can be more than just a trophy wife.”
Quinn’s head jerked back as if slapped. “Wow. Just a trophy wife.”
Nicola cringed. That hadn’t come out right. “That’s not how I meant it.”
Quinn slid her hand out of Nicola’s grasp. “You know what, it doesn’t matter. You’ve just proven exactly what I was saying.”
Nicola reached for Quinn’s hand, but her sister avoided the touch by picking up her phone. “Quinn, stop. Look, I’m sorry if I offended you.”
“You’re hilarious, Nicola, seriously,” Quinn said, her voice hard.
“I’m messing everything up. That’s not why I came looking for you. I’d hoped we could clear the air before—”
“Before the cameras showed up. I know. Don’t worry. I won’t embarrass you in front of the cameras. When they’re around I’ll be your loving sister. That’s what you like isn’t it. The image of perfection for the world to see.”
Quinn stood with her phone in her hand. Nicola jumped up too. She never could figure out what to say to make Quinn feel better.