by Vi Lily
And Vato.
The guy senses my pain, and I think it draws him to me. He’s become a protector of sorts, but not of my body. My ribs are now finally healed, thank God. But Vato seems to be insistent on hovering over me, watching over my mental state. My emotions.
Which are all over the place.
I think if Alex would have turned to me, if we could have grieved together, I would be in a better place. But not only do I feel like I’m the only person in the world grieving over the fun-loving, caring, and sweet Steve Johansen, who used drugs to mask the same pain Alex uses cold anger to disguise, I also still feel out of place. Like I don’t belong.
Maybe because I don’t.
I no longer belong in this rich world I’m surrounded by at Athole Academy. I don’t belong in the addict world my brother inhabits. I don’t belong in the working class, since I have no skills, no talent — other than dancing, but it’s been so long since I have danced that I doubt I still have that ability.
The worst part is, I don’t belong in Alex’s world either. I thought I did, but he’s so closed off emotionally that I don’t think I could break through that shell with a wrecking ball. I think his world is a one-man universe.
At the moment, I’m just going through the motions. Sleep, shower, school, study, sleep. Somewhere in there, I eat. I’ve lost weight again since Steve’s death and Alex and Vato are both on me about eating more. When I used to love food and couldn’t get enough after my era of near starvation, now it all tastes like sawdust covered cardboard.
Surprisingly, Alex is doing better in school. He seems more focused, more dedicated to the cause, I think. But me… if it weren’t for Vato pushing me, nagging really, to pay attention in the classes we share, I’d probably be failing.
“Chica, where are you?” his soft voice comes from my right. I blink myself back into the present and turn to see Vato staring at me with those gorgeous topaz eyes of his. In just a few short months, he’s become the guy of the school. Ben Penn used to be, but since he’s left school and moved away with Beth, Vato has claimed that title.
I’m feeling snarly today, for some reason. Probably because I got my period for the first time in two years. When I was so thin, I didn’t bleed. My body has apparently decided to make up for lost time.
Telling Alex that I needed to make an emergency trip to the store was… embarrassing, to say the least.
“I’m right here,” I tell him, snark coloring my voice. His eyebrow raises at that. He’s had it pierced recently, which is against Athole rules, but I don’t think Vato cares. I don’t think the Athole personnel care either. Apparently, Doc has made some rather large donations to the Academy to keep them off Vato’s back.
“And I have a name, by the way,” I snarl. “Quit calling me ‘chica’. Do you even speak Spanish? Or do you just use cute words to make you sound sexier?”
Wow, that sounded bitchy even to my own ears.
Both eyebrows raise at that and then he grins. He’s so handsome it almost hurts to look at him.
“I know you have a name, a beautiful one, Ariel,” he croons, giving my name the sexy Spanish accent that I normally love. Alex and Steve always said it with a Texan drawl, which I also loved.
“And I speak… Spanglish,” he grins again. “My grandfather tried to teach us kids Spanish, but we only picked up a little here and there. I understand most, though.”
It irritates me even more that my bitchiness didn’t make him snap back at me, and that’s when I realize I’m looking for a fight.
I harrumph and look back to the teacher. For a second, I’m not even sure what class I’m in, since we have a substitute today. I blink a few times and realize Vato is right; I’m off in lal-la land for sure.
When class lets out, Vato stands with me and he picks up my purse like he’s always done, ever since my ribs were broken. I snatch it out of his hands.
Annnd… a tampon flies out, landing at his feet.
My face flames when Vato bends down to pick it up. His grin is wide when he hands it back to me. I snatch that too.
“Now I understand,” he laughs.
I scowl at him. “Understand what?” I snap as I turn to stomp out of class. It’s lunch time now, but I don’t want to eat. If I don’t, though, both Alex and Vato will be on me like white on rice.
I stop short as tears fill my eyes. That was something Steve would have said. I always teased him about his “Texan showing.” His accent was a lot thicker than Alex’s, who only slipped into the colorful expressions when he was feeling an emotion.
Oh wait — Alex Johansen doesn’t feel emotions. Never mind.
With that thought, I huff off toward the Dining Room, Vato trailing behind as I covertly wipe at my tears. When we walk into the room, I glance over at Alex’s table and instantly see red.
He’s not at the table, but he’s at the next, talking to Raine Barre, of all people.
His back is to me, so I can’t see his expression, which would one of two choices: Angry or no emotion. Well, with me anyway. For all I know, he’s grinning and making googly eyes at that bitch. All I know is that when I walked in, she was all smiles.
She is one chick that deserves the c-word.
I stomp over to the food island and grab some things. I don’t even care what I’m getting because I’m too busy side-eyeing Alex and Raine. Laughter makes me turn and look up. Vato is staring at my tray, grinning. I so want to slap that smile off his gorgeous face.
“What?” I snap. It seems I can’t speak normally to him today. He’s bringing out all the worst in me, for some reason.
“You on a carb load today?” he asks, chuckling. I look down at my tray to see what he’s talking about. I know from living with Alex when wrestling season was still going on that “carb loading” was something athletes did before a match, meet, race, whatever, and consisted of eating as many carbohydrates as possible.
Such as the mac and cheese, fettucine alfredo, Spanish rice and roll that I just put on my tray.
I shrug. “Thinking about doing a bitching marathon.” I ignore his laughter as I step away.
Again, I don’t care what I eat. It all tastes the same anyway.
Since that day I fainted in the Dining Room, I’ve eaten with Alex and his friends. Not today. Today, I’m pissed that he was talking to Raine. Pissed that he’s being cold to me. Pissed that he won’t freaking mourn his brother. Pissed that he’s so damned handsome. Pissed that I love him so damned much.
Pissed that it’s one-sided.
“Can I sit with you?” I ask Vato. Both his eyebrows shoot up again and he glances over at Alex. I see understanding come over him when he sees him talking to Raine. His grin is wide when he looks back at me.
“Only if you promise to sit really close, chi—Ari.” The fact that he caught himself before saying “chica” again earns him a smile. I really don’t care if he calls me that; it was just something to bitch about at the time.
Poor Vato. I’ve been taking my crappy mood out on him, and that definitely isn’t fair. He’s been his usual sweet, attentive self. We check out with the cashier, then head toward the table he usually sits at, but at the last second, he veers toward an empty table. I don’t question it; I’m in no mood to be around other people today.
As he said, he parks right next to me, so close our thighs are touching. I don’t bother trying to move away. I know him too well; he’ll just scoot with me, even closer to make a point. He could very well end up on top of me.
That thought makes me think of another scenario of him being on top of me and I shiver slightly. But while I think about Alex and me in that situation a lot, it doesn’t quite have the same effect with Vato. Yeah, he’s gorgeous, sexy as hell, sweet and funny too, but I don’t want him like I want Alex.
That stupid jerk.
My eyes have a mind of their own, apparently, when they shoot back over to Alex and Raine. He’s still talking to her and I can only see his profile from where we’re sitting, but
he doesn’t look mad. She’s still grinning like a freaking hog in mud.
Tears fill my eyes again. Another Steve-ism. I force the bite of whatever it is I have in my mouth down, then take a sip of my tea. Vato, with his stupid sixth sense that knows whenever I’m upset, is on me right away.
“What’s wrong, baby?” he asks. The endearment doesn’t help; Alex had been calling me that back before Steve died on the living room floor, but no longer. In fact, he doesn’t even call me anything anymore.
I could lie, say nothing’s wrong, but he’ll keep picking at the sore until I bleed out. Better to just let it out now.
“I just miss Steve,” I choke out. “We could talk about anything and everything, you know? And now Alex is so cold to me, has been ever since his brother died.” I look up at my only other friend.
“I know that he’s probably sad over Steve’s death too, but he doesn’t show it. Other than pushing me away,” I sob-laugh. Vato wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into his chest.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he whispers into my hair, his head bent over mine in a protective gesture. I get the impression he’s trying to shield me from others, tuck me under his wing to protect me. It’s a nice feeling, one that Alex used to be so good at.
That thought makes me cry harder.
I sob for long minutes, before Vato moans. “Baby, you have to stop,” he pleads. “I hate to see a woman’s tears. You’re killing me,” he practically whines as he rubs my back.
“Would it help if I told you that my name obviously isn’t ‘Vato’?” With that I hiccup and push back to look up at him. He grins and uses his thumbs to wipe my cheeks. I’m sure I have raccoon eyes from my mascara.
“What is it then?”
His eyes crinkle at the corners. “Florentino Pasquale Gabriel Espinosa Martinez,” he tells me with a grin. My eyes widen.
“That’s a hella lotta names,” I hiccup again. He laughs.
“Yeah, we Mexicans never wanna leave anyone out on the baby naming. Gotta get all the ancestors in there.” He shrugs. “Now you see why I go by Vato. ‘Florentino’ isn’t exactly a tough-guy name for a fighter.”
I cock my head. “I dunno. ‘Tino’ is a nice name. Sexy, but still a tough-guy name, I think.”
He laughs and I scoot back. After blowing my nose in my napkin, I force feed myself some more and then the warning bell rings, signaling ten minutes before the next class starts. The students remaining in the Dining Room all move in unison, gathering their things and collecting their trash. Despite being a school for the very wealthy, the staff insists that students pick up after themselves.
Vato — Tino, I correct myself, because I’m so calling him that from now on — has a different class from me for third period, so he trots off after kissing my cheek. I notice that Alex has already left, and I try to force myself not to care. I kind of figured that he’d have something to say about the fact I sat with Vato. And was crying.
I guess he really doesn’t care.
My heart is heavy and hurting as I make my way toward the doors. Raine and her bitches are still sitting at their table, probably thinking they’re so privileged that they don’t have to make it to class on time. They’re probably right.
I almost slip on the venom spewing from Raine’s mouth as I near their table. “Yeah, Alex is really into me,” she stage whispers to her friends, but I know it’s all for my benefit.
“And did you see how she was sobbing all over Vato about it? She thinks she can just collect a harem or something. Like any of them really want trash like her. So pathetic.”
There’s a round of giggling as I pass by with my cheeks on fire and my heart plummeting into my nearly empty stomach, but then I hear something slam the table and it makes me look back.
Gwen, Ben Penn’s little sister, is standing, her chair shoved back. I think the noise I heard was her slamming her tray on the table, judging by the leftovers and trash that’s scattered all over. She then does something I’ll never forget.
She picks up her half-full cup of soda and throws it in Raine’s face.
“I’m sick of your lying!” Gwen screams at the spewing and sputtering girl. “You’re nothing but a snake, Raine, hiding in the grass, waiting for its next victim. You’re disgusting! All of you!”
And with that, she grabs her purse and heads toward me. I’m standing there in shock. Everyone in the Dining Room is in shock, I think, judging by the fact that the only sound is Raine still gasping and shrieking about her hair and makeup and the sticky soda mess.
Gwen’s face is red and I swear, she looks like she’s about to explode. She reaches out and grabs onto my arm with a grip that surprises me. She’s small, only a little taller than me, but dang, she must have inherited her brother’s strength.
“C’mon, I have something to tell you,” she mutters as she hauls me out of the Dining Room. She doesn’t let go until we’re outside. Thankfully, it’s a warm day, since neither one of us is wearing a coat.
“We’re gonna be late to class,” I tell her lamely. I don’t really care if I am. I’m not caring about much lately.
Gwen waves her hand in the air dismissively. “When you hear what I gotta say, you won’t care about class,” she says, echoing my thoughts.
She sucks in a deep breath and looks skyward. It’s then that I realize she doesn’t have her brother’s beautiful turquoise eyes. Hers are so dark they’re nearly black. It’s weird that I never noticed that before, but then again, I spent most of my career at Athole Academy staring at my desk, the ground, my shoes…
“Your boyfriend was murdered,” she says then, without preamble.
Her words make my heart stop. “What?” I whisper, shocked. I mean, is she talking about Alex? Or Vato? I just saw both of them, like ten minutes ago.
No, she has to be talking about Steve.
Gwen nods. “Yeah. It was Raine’s doing, too. She… suggested it. But I’m thinking she also paid for it to happen.”
“Are you talking about Steve?”
She nods again, but her head cocks to the side. “He wasn’t your boyfriend?”
I shake my head. “No, but he was my best friend,” I tell her as tears yet again sting the back of my eyes.
Gwen huffs. “Ugh, her lies just don’t stop.” She rolls her eyes heavenward again, then looks back at me.
“Regardless, Steve was given bad coke. I heard Raine telling Kaila about how she told that dealer in Oak Place to cut it for an overdose. Pretty sure she gave him a wad of cash to do it too. She said she wanted to ‘take out the garbage’. She’s such a psycho. I’m so done with her.”
I’m reeling. The “dealer in Oak Place” has to be Devon. Has to be. Which means my brother killed Alex’s brother. But I can’t figure out why Raine would want to do something like that. What’s the point? I know that Raine doesn’t do anything without her own agenda, so what is it?
At the moment, though, it doesn’t matter. I’m so pissed at Devon that I can’t even think straight. I’ll figure out the whys of it later. Right now, I just want to bash my brother’s head in.
“Would you mind ditching third and giving me a ride?” I ask. Gwen’s eyes widen, but she nods.
“Yeah, I figure I owe you,” she winces. “I’ve let this crap go on for too long. I shoulda said something a lot sooner.” She turns and leads me to a car that I thought belonged to a teacher. Like Alex, she isn’t driving a flashy, fancy super expensive car like the other students. Instead, she drives a Honda.
Makes me like her a lot more.
“Where are we going?” she asks as we buckle our seatbelts.
“Oak Place.”
Chapter 6
Alex
W HAT DO YOU mean, she went to see her brother?” Alex screamed into the phone. Students and teachers all around looked at him in shock, but he didn’t care that he was making a scene.
Apparently, Ari was trying to commit suicide.
“Look, just telling you what Gwen told me. Said
Ari asked her for a ride to Oak Place, Gwen took her, Ari said to wait outside of her house. Gwen said after about ten minutes, Ari came out, covered in blood.”
“What!” His roar probably made the windows shake as he ran for the front doors at the Academy. If his roar didn’t, then the force with which he hit the doors did.
His heart was pounding. Ari was hurt again and needed his help, but he was a good twenty minutes away from getting to town and that was speeding on the winding mountain road, which was never a good idea, especially in the spring with the wildlife becoming so active. Accidents were common during that time of the year.
“Dude, you’re bustin’ my eardrum. I’m just the messenger. Quit tryin’ to murder me through the effing phone.”
“Is she okay?” Alex asked, ignoring Vato’s comment. He yanked the Charger’s door open, threw himself in and started it. He didn’t give it any time to warm up as he put it in gear and peeled rubber out of the parking lot.
“From what I understand, it wasn’t her blood,” Vato said, shocking him. “Gwen said after Ari got back in the car, she asked to be taken to the gas station. Said she needed to wash her clothes. Gwen thought it was a weird request, but she was kinda afraid of Ari at that point, so she did as she asked.”
Alex frowned at that as he careened down the hill. He knew he shouldn’t be on the phone while driving, especially with a stick shift, but he didn’t care at that point. He needed to get to Ari, to figure out what was going on with her. To make sure she was okay.
After finding out that Ari insisted Gwen leave her at the station, Alex and Vato hung up, and he tried calling Ari. It went right to voicemail, which wasn’t unusual, since she often put her phone on “do not disturb” for class, then forgot to take it off.
That left Alex to his own thoughts. They were a jumbled mess.
For one thing, why would Ari want to go to see her brother? What in the world could have caused that to happen? Then, why was she covered in blood? If she wasn’t hurt, then it stood to reason it was her brother’s… but why? How?