“Margaret Cole just faxed over the final seating chart for the wedding Friday,” Cheryl said, stepping into her office and handing her the sheet, then she saw Paige swipe at the tears hovering precariously on her lower lids. “Oh, sweetie, not again.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Paige said, grabbing a tissue and dabbing at her drippy nose. “You know me. I don’t do this. I don’t cry. I don’t even find Hallmark commercials particularly moving. And look at me. I’m an emotional train wreck.”
“Maybe you have a hormone imbalance. Or maybe it’s just really bad PMS.”
That was possible. Although she didn’t usually get weepy. Just a little edgy. But all the added stress could be making it worse. And if that was it, as soon as her period started she should be feeling back to her old self again. “Maybe that’s it,” she told Cheryl, feeling hopeful for the first time in a week.
“When is your period due?”
“Soon, I think.” She’d been so busy lately she hadn’t given it much thought. She opened the calendar on her computer and counted the days, then, positive she’d made a mistake, she counted them again. As she counted them a third time, just to be sure, her heart bottomed out. “Oh, damn.”
Cheryl frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“My last period was thirty-one days ago.”
“Is that a long time for you?”
“Since I was twelve I’ve started every twenty-eight days like clockwork.” She looked up at her friend, heart in her throat. “Cheryl, my period is late.”
Damned broken condom, Paige thought as she waited for Cheryl to get back from the pharmacy with the home pregnancy test.
She closed her eyes and breathed deep, struggling to stay calm. How had she let this happen? This wasn’t part of the plan. She’d always imagined she’d have kids someday, but only after she found the right man. And only after her business was established. This just wasn’t a good time.
And what about Brandon? What would he think of this? Considering his financial situation, and his current living arrangements, she doubted he would be thrilled with the idea of starting a family. Especially with a woman he never intended to have a lasting relationship with.
Maybe learning that she didn’t expect a thing from him, that financially she could care of the baby herself, would take some of the pressure off. It might be rough for a year or two, but she would tighten the belt and squeeze by. And with any hope, the gala would go off without a hitch, bringing her a few high-profile clients, which would generate the resources to hire a few extra employees. Because, while Cheryl was worth her weight in gold, she already performed far above what was expected of her. Like going out and fetching her boss pregnancy tests in the middle of a workday.
But first she had to find out for sure if she really was pregnant. There was still a slight possibility it was something else. Some kind of weird, stress-induced chemical imbalance. One not caused by a fetus.
She heard the outer door open and Cheryl called, “I’m back!”
Paige’s heart began to race. Cheryl appeared in her office doorway, red-faced and out of breath, with a small white bag.
“You ready for this?” she asked.
God, no. But putting it off wasn’t an option.
Though Paige prided herself on being calm and rational in every situation, her hands were trembling as she took the bag, and as she walked across the hall to the restroom and locked herself inside, her knees felt squishy.
She opened the box, pulled out the test wand, and, since she had never actually used one before, skimmed the directions. It only took a few seconds to take the test, then she waited, staring at the indicator window, willing it with her mind to be negative.
It was supposed to take three to five minutes to marinate, but after about thirty seconds the result, which would say either pregnant or not pregnant began to appear.
Pregnant.
“Crap.”
She sat there for a couple of minutes more, on the verge of hyperventilation, hoping the word not would suddenly materialize and everything would be okay.
She heard a soft knock on the door. “You okay in there, honey?”
Nope. Not at all. She pulled the door open and held it up so Cheryl could see the results.
Cheryl sucked in a soft breath. “Oh, boy.”
“Yeah.”
What was she going to tell Brandon?
She could simply not tell him. Odds were, after the gala she would never see him again. He would never even know about the baby. Wouldn’t it just be easier on him that way?
But could she deny her child the privilege of knowing its father? Even if its father wasn’t exactly thrilled about it? Or maybe she wasn’t being fair, maybe Brandon would be excited to learn he was going to be a dad. He was a stand-up kind of guy. He might even want them to be a family.
She cringed at the thought of the three of them packed into the tiny foreman’s quarters. And where would she work? What would she do for a living up there? Unless she had a decent paying job they could never afford anything bigger. She didn’t even know if he was allowed to live off the ranch, or if the job required him to stay on the property. And if he lost his job, what then? Where would they go? What would they do for money?
The panicked feeling was back, clawing at her insides.
No, moving to the ranch with Brandon was definitely out of the question.
“So,” Cheryl said, “What are you going to do?”
The only thing she could do at this point. “I guess I’m going to have a baby.”
Something was up with Paige.
She hadn’t been the same since they got back from the ranch. Brandon had dropped her at home, then they hadn’t talked again for several days. He’d tried phoning her cell a few times Monday and Tuesday, but it always went to voice mail and she didn’t return his calls. Concerned, he drove into town a day early, leaving a message with her secretary to call him. She’d shown up at his motel Wednesday night unannounced and practically threw herself in his arms. Then she started crying, which had really baffled him. But when he asked her later what was wrong, she said the stress from work was getting to her, and she would be better after the gala was over. He didn’t push the issue, but he had the distinct feeling it was more than that. He even decided to stay in town until the gala. If she was that stressed out, he figured she could use the moral support. And maybe he just wanted to be close to her. But he’d seen her nearly every night since then and she’d seemed okay. And the sex had been beyond fantastic.
The truth is, he was looking forward to the gala being over, as well. Hiding the truth from her was starting to get to him. Only five more days and Paige would know the truth. Up until now he’d been pretty confident she would be willing to forgive his twisting of the facts—and a few outright lies—but he was starting to get a little nervous.
Whether Paige wanted to admit it or not, they were good together. After her visit to the ranch he’d pretty much made the decision that he wanted her in his life permanently. He’d been with Ashleigh two years before he was ready to move her into his home, but with Paige, he wouldn’t hesitate to clear one side of the closet for her right now. Which was so not like him, he couldn’t help trusting it. Which he knew made no sense at all.
There was a knock at his motel room door and Brandon looked at his watch. It was barely four. Way too early for Paige. She didn’t usually leave work until after seven. He snapped his laptop shut and slid it under the bed. He walked to the door and checked out the window, surprised to see Paige standing there, still in her work clothes. He took a quick glance around the room for incriminating evidence, then opened the door. The minute he saw her face he knew something was wrong.
She was white as a sheet.
“What’s the matter?” he said.
She sighed. “I look that bad, huh?”
He gestured her inside, then shut the door behind her. She walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of the mattress. “We need to ta
lk.”
“Okay.” He pulled out one of the chairs at the table and sat. “Let’s talk.”
“There’s really no good way to say this, no way to soften the blow, so I’m just going to say it. I’m pregnant.”
Whoa. That was truly the last thing he’d expected her to say. And for several seconds, words escaped him. She sat there looking anxious, waiting for him to say something, and though usually he had an opinion about pretty much everything, he was at a loss.
She was pregnant. With his baby. He was going to be a dad.
“You’re angry,” she said, cringing, as though she were expecting him to suddenly erupt.
“Surprised, yes, but not angry.” Why would he be? It wasn’t anyone’s fault. In fact, when he peeled back the top layers, to the emotions lurking under the surface, he was a little stunned to discover that he was sort of…happy. Excited even, in a shell-shocked way.
A baby with Paige. Why not?
“You’re sure?” he asked.
“I took a home pregnancy test. I understand they’re pretty reliable. Plus my period is late, and it’s never late. And I don’t know if you noticed, but I’ve been a little…emotional lately.”
Yeah, he’d noticed, and if he knew Paige better, he probably would have figured out why. “So, you’re sure.”
She nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
He took a deep breath and blew it out. “Wow.”
“So,” she said, looking nervous, like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. “What do you think we should do?”
Good question. And the answer came to him faster than he would have imagined. It was what he wanted. “I think you should marry me.”
Apparently the last thing she had been expecting was a marriage proposal, because her jaw literally dropped. “Marry you?”
“And move out to the ranch. We both know what broken homes are like. We can’t do that to our child.”
“But—”
“I know it’s soon, but I think we owe it to the baby to be a family. To at least try.”
“Where will I work? I doubt the people of Wild Ridge are champing at the bit for an image consultant-slash-event planner. How will I make a living?”
“You won’t have to. I’ll take care of you. You and the baby.” He needed to tell her the truth, the consequences be damned. He couldn’t lie to her any longer. Not now. “Paige, there’s something I should tell you—”
“Brandon, I can’t. I have a career, a life here. I’ve worked my tail off to make my company a success. I can’t just give that up.”
“This is no longer about what we want. It’s about what’s best for the baby. Besides, I can give you everything you need.”
“Financial security? Can you give me that?”
Something dark and cold settled over him. “Are you suggesting that I don’t make enough money?”
“It’s more complicated than that. How will you fit a wife and a baby in the foreman’s quarters? And without me working, how could we ever afford better?”
“Better? So what I am right now isn’t good enough for you?”
“That isn’t what I meant. You know what it was like for me when I was a kid. I just can’t go through that again, or put my own child though it.”
Wow, that was brutal. “Now you think I’ll be a lousy father, too?”
“No! I didn’t say that. But I’ve worked damned hard to be self-sufficient. You can’t expect me to give that up.”
“So, if I were to leave the ranch and get a job as an executive, pushing paper in some office, bringing home a salary with benefits, and I asked you to marry me, you would say yes?”
“Brandon—”
“Would you say yes?”
“I would never ask you to leave the ranch. You belong there. It’s what makes you happy.”
“But that’s not good enough for you, is it?” So much for Paige being different. She didn’t think he was good enough. She’d just been slumming it.
He should have known. And the truth stung more than he could have imagined. He’d let himself care again, let himself trust, and once again he’d been burned.
If she had said yes, if she had married him, would he have come home one day to find her in the stable with one of his men?
“You know, you’re absolutely right. Marrying someone like you would have been a monumental mistake.”
“Brandon—”
“Forget it. I don’t know what I was thinking. Why would I want to marry a woman I don’t even love?”
She flinched, and though it should have given him satisfaction to know he’d hurt her, he only felt like a piece of garbage, regurgitating back the words Ashleigh had spat at him the day she left.
“Just so you know, I won’t hold you financially responsible for the baby. I’m prepared to raise this child entirely on my own, if necessary.”
He felt as if she’d punched him in the stomach. “Do you honestly expect me to just give up my rights? To move on with my life and forget I’m responsible for bringing a child into this world? You’re even more selfish and narcissistic than I could have imagined.”
Her eyes widened and she shook her head. “I didn’t mean—”
“Let’s get one thing straight, sweetheart. This is my baby, too, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you shut me out of its life just because you think I’m not good enough. For the next eighteen years and nine months, you’re stuck with me.”
“Of course.” Tears welled in her eyes and she lowered them to her lap, wringing her hands. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“Didn’t you know, you can’t hurt someone who doesn’t give a damn. You mean nothing to me.” He only wished that were true. He felt betrayed. Rubbed raw, all the way to his soul.
“Maybe we should talk about this later, when we’ve both had time to think about things.”
As far as he was concerned, there was nothing left to say. He got up and opened the door.
As she walked past him, tears rolling down her cheeks, he had to stop himself from grabbing her and pulling her into his arms.
She was no better than Ashleigh, and all of the women who had come before her. And to think that he’d almost told her the truth. Had she known about his millions two seconds sooner he doubted she would have been so quick to refuse his proposal. And then he would be stuck with her. Another woman who only wanted him for his money.
Thank God he’d kept his mouth shut.
He packed his things, checked out of his room, and drove back to Copper Run. Where he belonged.
The Tanner/Cole wedding was going off without a hitch. Dinner had been served, the bride and groom had cut the cake and had their first dance, and it would be another half hour before it was time to throw the bouquet. Excellent timing, since the intermittent nausea Paige had been experiencing for the last few days was suddenly back.
Since greasy foods only exacerbated the problem, she should have known better than to scarf down half a dozen bacon-wrapped scallops. But they had tasted so yummy, it seemed like a good idea at the time. Not to mention that she hadn’t been eating enough lately. Every time she thought of a certain person, she felt utterly sick inside.
But she wasn’t allowed to think about that now. Not until the job was completed. Which meant in precisely one hour she could get in her car, drive the ten minutes home, and fall apart. Which had been the routine every night this week.
She knew she had hurt Brandon, wounded his pride, and they really needed to talk about what they planned to do. She’d gone back to the motel the day after their fight but he had already checked out. She’d tried his cell phone several times but it always went to voice mail. She never left a message, for fear that she would dissolve into tears halfway through and look completely pathetic. She’d considered driving up to Copper Run to talk to him, to try to explain her side of things, and tell him how sorry she was, but the possibility that he would only reject her again kept her from making the trip. Still, she missed him terribly. The
loneliness, the sense of loss, was absolute, like a living, breathing thing, feeding off her anguish. And there was a pain in her heart, an acute ache that wouldn’t go away.
The idea that she refused his proposal over something so trivial as money gnawed at her. What did it matter how much money he made, or where he lived? The only thing that mattered was that they were together. A family. So maybe things would have been tight for a while. So what? She’d been through tough times before. She could handle it. At least they would be together. And with the thriving tourist trade in Wild Ridge, there was bound to be someone who could use the expertise of an event planner. Maybe she could even relocate her business. She would never make as much money as she could being closer to a big city, but making lots of money had never been the point. The point had been to feel secure. To be…happy. And when she was with Brandon, she was. Happier than she’d ever been in her life.
Maybe it was foolish, and irresponsible—everything she’d worked so hard not to be—but if she could go back in time to the minute when he asked her to marry him, she would tell him yes, without hesitation. It was just that he’d surprised her with his proposal and she hadn’t had time to think it through. She never made any decisions without considering all aspects of the situation. It was just who she was.
None of that made a difference now. Like he said, he didn’t love her. He only wanted to marry her for the baby’s sake. That didn’t make her feel any less empty inside, love him any less.
Tears welled in her eyes and she blinked them away. This was why she wasn’t allowed to think of him until after work.
“Miss Adams?”
Paige turned to find a very pregnant Emma Larson standing behind her. In her hand she held a small plate of those unholy little bacon-wrapped scallops, and as the smell wafted her way, Paige’s stomach heaved.
No barfing in front of the wedding guests.
She swallowed hard and pasted on a smile. “Hello, Ms. Larson. It’s so nice to see you again.”
“I just wanted to tell you what a lovely reception this has been. If the gala tomorrow night is half as beautiful we’re in for a treat.”
Exposed: Her Undercover Millionaire Page 14