"Hi."
Morden had come down the hall from the conference room. His hands were folded in front of him, his posture still neat, controlled, but his smile seemed more relaxed.
"That was some briefing. I can't believe what they've found."
She twisted her lips.
"You seemed to enjoy baiting Ms. Donne."
"I don't like Psi Corps. I don't know why she's here. I don't know what she's covering up. And I don't trust her to respect our privacy. While that may make the long trip a little more interesting, I think I'd prefer it if she'd blurt out everything and we'd all end up sitting around playing poker."
"She says you're the one keeping secrets."
Morden nodded.
"And now the games begin. And we haven't even left the station yet. Want to catch some dinner?"
Anna decided this would be a good time to start on her secondary project. And if she got Morden to confide in her any more, all the better.
"I'd love to."
* * *
"Have a seat," John said.
Ross, Spano, and Watley sat in the chairs on the opposite side of his desk. The small office was crowded with them. John rested on e arm on the desktop, his fingertips grazing the snow globe.
"Things got out of control yesterday. I feel I've cut each of you some slack, though you may not agree with me. But I will not tolerate that kind of behavior, or that kind of performance on a drill, again.
I'm offering each of you the same proposition I've offered to several of your crewmates. If any of you would like a transfer, I will get it for you, no questions asked. If you decide to stay, I will tolerate no less than one hundred percent from you. I've made my expectations clear. I want every person on board this ship to give his all. If you stay and I continue to find your performance unsatisfactory, you will be brought up on charges."
"Commander Corchoran said that some of you may feel you have an undeserved stain on your reputations."
He held up a finger.
"What counts is not what other people think of you, but what you are and what you do. You are responsible only for yourself. What's important is not convincing them of your integrity, but convincing yourself: maintaining your integrity when you're alone, when no one will know but you. So you can look in the mirror at the end of the day and think, I did my best, I did my duty."
Ross's sharp mouth had compressed into a line, Spano's eyebrows were lifted in contempt, and Watley seemed to be staring into space. John clasped his hands together and leaned forward, trying by sheer force of will to reach them.
"Decisions we've made in the past have shaped what we are today. Experiences we've had in the past shape our expectations of the present. Those patterns are difficult to change. But things are changing here on the Agamemnon. To deny that is to deny your future. I would like you to change with them, and I believe you can. But if you don't want to, then I advise you to take the transfer. The change that is happening here will not be denied. I will not allow you to stand in the way of it."
He closed his hand into a fist.
"I expect to receive your decisions before the Agamemnon is deployed."
"Yes, sir," they replied in near-unison.
"Lieutenant Spano, you will remain confined to quarters for an additional forty-eight hours."
"Yes, sir," Spano replied.
They sat, stiff and still, waiting to be dismissed. He didn't think he'd gotten through to any of them. But he didn't know what more to say. Perhaps they couldn't change, or wouldn't change. Perhaps Best had spoiled them. But somehow the war seemed to stand between them, as if, eight years past, it still reverberated on the present, never allowing them to forget, dominating their lives even now, carrying them into the future. How could he fight the past?
"Dismissed," he said.
CHAPTER 7
In the conference room view screen, Anna saw the ring of Station Prime begin to shrink as the Icarus pulled away from it toward the jump gate. In a few minutes they would make their first in a series of jumps that would, in a month's time, bring them to the rim of known space.
Among the larger ships surrounding the station, the Agamemnon was nowhere in sight. She went to the com station against the wall and tried once again to reach John. She had to use Chang's access code to make the call; he'd told her that IPX, to maintain security, had ordered that all communications go through him. The way he'd explained it, Anna wasn't sure if this was a new corporate policy or a special procedure for this expedition. But Chang trusted her not to abuse his code. It was ironic that today, December third, was their seventh anniversary, the day she and John had planned to spend together to celebrate their love for each other. She wanted to spend the whole day in his warm arms peeling him oranges and reading him silly mistranslated love incantations. But she'd made her decision, and he'd been unable to get away anyway. Borders. She told herself they had years and years of anniversaries to look forward to.
The com system gave her the same response she'd been getting for over a week: "The Earthforce ship you are trying to reach is currently out of contact. Please try again later."
"Still trying to reach your husband?"
Donne was standing in the doorway, her muscular body, covered in black, like a block of shadow. Anna had thought the whole team was up on the observation deck.
"Yes, no luck." "I was wondering if you would conduct an experiment for me."
This was new. Donne seeking cooperation.
"What's the experiment?" Donne came inside.
She revealed a small box in her gloved hand.
"Your company granted me a fragment of the mouse. We've done extensive tests on it, but none of the results reveal the telepathic nature of the object. We, of course, don't want to endanger any other telepaths by having them attempt to make contact with the object. I'd like to see if you still detect any telepathic activity in the fragment."
They, of course, wouldn't mind it if Anna's brain turned to jelly, though she knew it wouldn't. But she couldn't tell Donne about the experience she'd had with her own fragment at the hotel; she wasn't supposed to have had access to the mouse at that point.
"Sure, I'll try."
Donne hesitated.
"You have no telepathic abilities, correct?"
"None whatsoever."
Donne handed her the box.
The unexpected weight almost fell out of her hand.
"What's this made of?"
"Lead," Donne said, and pulled out a chair.
Her face relaxed slightly. Anna sat beside her. She opened the small fastening on the box, took out the fragment. She took satisfaction in the fact that the fragment Donne had was significantly smaller than the one she had. Anna closed her hand around the fragment, concentrated on it. The experience was similar to the one she'd had at the Imperial Hotel, though now she studied the impressions more intently.
"Sheridan."
Morden was shaking her shoulder.
"What is it?" Anna asked.
"We were just getting concerned."
He was tightlipped, grim. He moved away. Chang was also in the room, and Churlstein. Anna felt rather self-conscious. She extended the fragment toward Donne.
"It's still active at some..."
"Back in the box, please," Donne said.
Her normal way of speaking, with little movement of her jaw, was exaggerated, as if she were clenching her teeth. She didn't want to touch the thing.
"Of course."
Anna allowed herself a slight hesitation, enjoying Donne's discomfort, then returned the fragment to the box.
"There was a faint echo of the pulsing, the heartbeat I heard before. But it was intermittent, and in the blank spots I got this feel of static, and on the other side of that there was this weird animal sense of a nest... burrowing into shavings, something warm in a dark place, stone all around. And then it was different, the machine was all around, and it was beautiful, and it hurt."
She felt foolish. The words couldn'
t convey what she had seen, what she had felt.
"The animal. I think it's what the mouse was, once."
"You mean an evolutionary memory?" Churlstein asked.
"You think this device evolved naturally out of a real animal? That's ridiculous."
Anna ran her hands up under her hair, grabbed her scalp, feeling fuzzy, frustrated.
"That's not what I mean. I'm not sure what I mean."
Chang said, "Perhaps the DNA used to create the device was adapted from that of a living creature. Perhaps that is some imprinted instinct you sensed. Our knowledge of how these devices are created is nil. It's too early to discount any possibility."
He directed those words at Churlstein.
"So it might still pose a threat," Donne said, "even at this stage."
"I suppose so," Anna said.
Donne reluctantly took up the box.
"Thank you for your cooperation, Dr. Sheridan. I think if we work together, we'll be able to unlock the secrets of these devices, which would be in all our best interests. If we can't understand something as simple as this mouse, how will we ever understand the egg?"
As she left, Morden sat down beside Anna and leaned in close.
"Someone must have slipped her a happy pill."
Anna burst out laughing.
"In the spirit of cooperation," Morden said to Chang and the others, "I have some translations."
"Wonderful, wonderful. I can't believe you have something for us already."
Chang sat opposite Morden, Churlstein quickly taking the seat beside him. Anna was also surprised that Morden could have translated anything yet. Even with computer analyses, it was a slow, painstaking job. Morden opened a folder with a series of stills derived from the probe's image transmissions.
"Using some image refinement techniques, I've been able to get readable inscriptions off of fifty different sources so far."
He spread out the stills.
"The majority are the hexagonal stone blocks, though also included are several pillars and the egg."
"This gave me a marginal sample to begin doing some preliminary translations. Keep in mind these are very rough. The language bas thousands of different characters, though a smaller number seem more commonly used. I really shouldn't even begin without a sample at least twice this size, but I had some free time.... The language has some similarities to two little-known ancient languages, Kandarian and wh at's known as L5, and that gave me a starting point, though this language is much more refined and sophisticated. Those languages may have been influenced by this one. Anyway, let me review the characteristics of the language."
As Morden continued, Anna noticed how much more relaxed he seemed than when they'd first met. His hands were picking out various stills and sheets of notes, gesturing, expressive, broken free from the careful folded-hand position. His face was in motion, reflecting his thoughts rather than holding them back behind a frozen smile. These times still did not last; he would fall silent and the grief would pull him back into the quiet, careful world of desperate control, but she saw him escaping that world a few moments longer each day. As much as she would have enjoyed taking credit for it, his progress had very little to do with her and her attempts to draw him out. It was the expedition that had engaged him, body, mind, and soul, as it had engaged all of them.
"Certain phrases appear to be repeated numerous times. The most interesting case is the pillars. So far, the four pillars on which I've been able to get satisfactory resolution have carried the same inscription."
Chang brought the various stills of the pillars next to each other, and Anna stood up to lean over the table. Chang shook his head.
"A ritual meaning?"
It was the most likely explanation, Anna thought. Repetitive structures most often had a ritualistic purpose or a practical one, and offhand it was hard to think of a practical purpose the pillars could serve, unless it was somehow related to their technology.
"The preliminary translation, very rough, is ''Every light casts a shadow.'' "
"Part of some religious belief, perhaps," Chang said.
"The pillars could cast shadows at different times of the day-if there wasn't a storm. I'd say they were some sort of time-telling or distance-measuring tools, as used by Ptolemy, or at least carrying a similar ceremonial purpose, but the planet gets so little light. Shadows cast would be weak, if they existed at all."
Anna tilted her head, studying the pattern of the runes.
"You're assuming atmospheric conditions have remained constant, and that they weren't worsened by the war fought here."
Chang nodded.
"If the atmosphere was clearer at an earlier time, the pillars may have been tied to astronomical observation of some kind, as with Stonehenge."
Anna sat down. The inscription bothered her. It seemed innocuous, yet it made her think back to the mouse, to the image of the dark, towering machine. Who would this race be who would create technology of such sophistication and build pillars with such a simplistic message? What significance could it have for them?
"You have more?" Chang asked.
Donne had returned, the box squirreled away. She stood behind Dr. Chang. Petrovich and Standish had wandered in as well.
"One more," Morden said.
"I really don't feel secure enough to share anything else."
Morden pulled out a still with a close-up of some shaded lettering.
"This was taken from the egg. It's by far the largest and simplest piece of writing on the object, and the only one that can be read in its entirety. The others lead into the various tunnels and hollows in the object. He brought his hands flat against each other, raised them to his mouth.
"I'm not really sure on this. My tentative translation is ''what is desired,'' though it may say ''all that is desired.'' "
"That's the entire phrase?" Churlstein asked.
"Yes."
Churlstein's face wrinkled in frustration.
"Is that a question? What is desired?"
"I don't know," Morden answered.
They were all silent.
"Could the device be a manufacturing center?" Chang suggested.
"It may be requesting specifications of some kind."
"Perhaps it provided entertainment," Standish said, "and the inscription is more like an advertisement."
"It sounds more like a promise," Donne said.
"Something you'd find on the side of an oil lamp with a genie inside."
And from the silence that prevailed after she said it, Anna realized it was what they had all been thinking.
* * *
"My shower's broken," she said, her shape a hazy silhouette behind the coated shower door.
"Can I share yours?"
"It's not very big," John said.
The door opened and her head peaked in, brown hair in disarray, mischievous smile radiating heat.
"I can squeeze in."
"Then by all means," he replied.
She stepped in with soap and shampoo, naked, all business.
"Could I get under the water please?"
"Certainly."
They squeezed past each other in the small square stall, her body a brush of heaven, so familiar, so wanted. She stepped under the spray, and the water cascaded down her face, her shoulders, her breasts, her body like a blessing, she one of the ancient goddesses she studied, embodiment of life and vitality.
"You didn't wash your back," she said.
"Turn around." He did.
She rubbed the soap over his back in a slow, serpentine pattern, and he felt his muscles relaxing, melting. Then she put the soap aside and it was her hands running in mysterious geometries across his skin, the rough sandpaper touch of her callused fingers bringing his skin to tingling awareness, revitalizing him, recharging him. His link chimed.
"Don't go yet," she said.
He opened his eyes to the darkness of his quarters, the sensations persistent. He reached for the link, activated it.
<
br /> "Sheridan. Go."
He found he was slightly out of breath.
"Coded message for you from General Lochschmanan, Captain."
Didn't the man ever sleep? John swung his legs over the side of the bed.
"I'll take it in my office. Lights."
He squinted as the lights came on, held out one hand to half feel his way into the office next door. He sat at his desk. His T-shirt and shorts would have to do, he supposed.
"Computer. Accept and decode communication."
Lochschmanan appeared on the monitor, his tall thin frame looking as spit-and-polish as ever.
"Captain, sorry to wake you."
John squinted up at the monitor, thinking of Anna and tact.
"I was just getting up, sir."
"I've been authorized to share certain information with you that I've been unable to discuss before. It should not be shared with your officers until I give you the all clear. It is critical that you get your crew in shape very quickly now. We will need you and the Agamemnon for a mission in three to four weeks. We suspected this might be the case, which is why your ship was upgraded with the new stealth technology, and now we know for sure. We have been tracking the Homeguard faction responsible for the destruction of the lo jump gate. An agent of ours has infiltrated the group. He reports that they plan to attempt to blow up Babylon 5 at its dedication ceremonies next month. They are currently arranging a major buy of nuclear explosives from the Narns. We don't yet know where or when, but our agent will be privy to this information. The Agamemnon will intercept the Homeguard ship after the buy."
"Sir, you know some of the problems we've been having. To send out the ship this quickly, on this crucial a mission, seems... Why us, sir?"
"This decision comes from the top, Captain. Those at home are still very unsettled by the previous terrorist attack and the failure to apprehend those responsible. Now there is a threat to Babylon 5, after four previous failures. It weakens our reputation, not only among our own populace, but among alien governments. It weakens the authority of our stated desire for peace. That is why they want you, John, the hero of the Earth-Minbari War, making secure the peace. It will send a message to those who oppose peace, both at home and abroad."
Babylon 5 07 - The Shadow Within (Cavelos, Jeanne) Page 8