by E. N. Joy
“Well, I—”
“Remember,” Eleanor said in a warning tone, pointing at her eyes with her index finger and middle finger and then at Lorain’s, “plastic . . . I can see right through it.”
Chapter 6
“I’m glad I talked you into staying in town for the night,” Eleanor said to Unique as the younger woman helped her load the dishwasher.
“Yeah, you had a point when I tried to put up a fight,” Unique said, placing a glass on the top rack in the dishwasher.
“Well, you had said it yourself. That assistant knows the ropes and can run things on a permanent basis, so surely, she can run things for one day, tomorrow, while you spend some time with your family tonight.” Eleanor handed Unique the last dish to place in the dishwasher. While Unique repositioned a few dishes, Eleanor began to wipe down the black-and-white granite countertops. They complemented the kitchen appliances, which were stainless steel with black trimming.
“Where do you guys keep the broom?” Unique asked, looking around the kitchen.
“Right over thataway.” Eleanor nodded in the direction of the closet pantry, where they kept canned goods and cleaning supplies.
Unique went into the closet and grabbed the broom and dustpan. She began to sweep the white tiled floor. The flooring brightened up the entire kitchen, which was otherwise decorated with dark colors.
“Child, I can get that,” Eleanor told her. “You done drove all morning, handled business all afternoon, sat up with us and clowned all evening, and you have to get right back on the road in the morning.”
“That’s okay, Gran. I got it,” Unique assured her.
“Uh-huh.” Eleanor took the broom from her. “You go on and sit down. I got this.”
Unique sat down at the square white wooden table in the kitchen. It seated six. This was where the Wrights usually enjoyed dinner together when it was just them . . . no guests. Eleanor proceeded to sweep.
“Next time your mama wanna keep up with the Joneses and buy a great big ole house like this,” Eleanor said, “she better think twice about how much work is going to have to go into keeping it clean.”
“I said I’d do it, Gran.” Unique rose up from her seat.
“No, no. You sit on back down,” Eleanor told her. “I’m just doing my regular fussing.”
Unique smiled. She fondled the fresh flower arrangement that stood in the vase in the center of the table.
“So, how do you feel about coming back to Malvonia?” Eleanor asked her.
Unique stared off into the distance for a moment. “You know, I really don’t know,” she admitted. “After the boys’ . . .” She couldn’t even bring her lips to say the word death. Visions of her three boys down on the backseat floor of that car on that hot summer day had haunted her since the moment she learned of their fate.
Unique had planned on leaving the boys in the car for only a couple minutes. She had wanted to go to the dope house out of which her oldest son’s father slung drugs to try to get some child-support money from him. He had been avoiding her calls and had not been returning her text messages.
Initially, she left the windows of the car cracked, but when some young thug came over, trying to sell her drugs, and then got belligerent when she didn’t want to cop any, she didn’t want him to have access to her car with her babies in it. She was well aware that she was practically in a drug-infested war zone, and so she didn’t want to take the boys to the dope house, either. She had a tough decision to make.
“Y’all stay here. I’m not going to be but a second,” she told her boys.
It was nothing but the worst luck in the world when Unique went into that drug house moments before it was raided by the police.
Unique remembered hearing the shouts. “Police!” She’d looked over her shoulder to see a swarm of men dressed in black, with caps and masks and bullet shields, storming the place. Since she was right there in front of the door, she received the wrath of what felt like a human tidal wave. The rushing bodies pushed her to the floor, and her head slammed on the edge of a table on the way down. That was pretty much all that Unique remembered before she found herself sitting in an interrogation room, being questioned by police officers, accused of dealing drugs. She was dazed, confused, and completely overwhelmed after being questioned for hours, partly due to the hard blow she’d taken to her head. By the time she remembered where her children were, which was in the backseat of the car, with the windows rolled up, on the hottest day of the year, it was too late. The boys were found dead.
Initially, Unique was charged with their deaths, and even forbidden to attend their funeral. But once all the facts came out, she was cleared of all charges. Even though the state hadn’t found her negligent in the death of her sons, that didn’t mean guilt didn’t haunt her. So when Tamarra gave Unique the opportunity to go to West Virginia, she hopped on it. Malvonia had too many memories, too many reminders of her boys that she couldn’t seem to escape. It didn’t matter how many years had gone by; she couldn’t let it go. She prayed that a little bit of time away would help.
Truth be told, Unique was happy when the contract at the nursing home got extended. When she moved away, she felt like she was able to breathe for the first time in years. It gave her time to try to come to terms with things without any interference. She had been thrust into this new life as a single woman and was no longer a single mother. But now Tamarra needed her, and she was faced with the inevitable, returning to Malvonia. She had no idea if she was strong enough yet to face her demons that dwelled in this city.
“I know it’s hard for you,” Eleanor said to her granddaughter, placing the broom up against the counter and going to sit down next to Unique. “But you’ll get through it. I know the past few years have been stranger than fiction for you, something out of a bestselling novel, but it’s real. As real as it gets. You can do that ‘fake it until you make it’ stuff all you want . . . you and your mama both. But I’m telling you, the weight of it all is going to come crashing down in the worst way if you don’t deal with it. You know?”
“Yes, Gran, I know.” Unique sighed, looking down at the black- and white-checkered place mat that sat in front of her. She agreed with her grandmother, but it was easier said than done. And unless a person had lost not one child, not two children, but three on the same day, he or she could never know what she was dealing with. And she didn’t want to deal with it. “Mom should have the girls bathed and stuff by now. I want to go make sure I kiss them good night before she tucks them in for bed.”
“Oh, you’re a tad bit late,” Lorain said, entering the kitchen. “I read them a book, and they were out like a light bulb before I even got halfway through it.” Lorain felt immediate guilt from the little white lie she’d just told. Of course, in her book, every lie was a mere white one, instead of a bright, spicy red one.
“Awww.” Unique was disappointed.
“Don’t worry,” Eleanor told her. “You can help me get them on the bus in the morning. I’m sure they’d like that.” Eleanor looked at Lorain. “Don’t you think?”
“Uh, yes, of course. I’m sure they’d love to have their big sister put them on the bus,” Lorain said. It wasn’t clear whether it was subconscious or a conscious choice on the part of Lorain to remind Unique of her place in the girls’ lives.
“Okay, fine, then,” Unique said, not bothered at all by Lorain’s reference to her as the girls’ sister. That was the role she’d been playing for all their lives. “I guess I’ll head to my place and make sure I stop by in the morning on my way back to West Virginia.” She looked at Eleanor. “What time do you put the girls on the bus?”
“Nine-fifteen.” Eleanor announced.
“Perfect. That should get me back to West Virginia right on time for lunch service,” Unique said, clearly still concerned about not putting in a full day’s work.
“You sure you don’t want to stay the night here, in the guest room? Your mom has got it set up all nice. Got it wallpapered
with these navy blue and silver squiggly designs. She got rid of the full-size bed and replaced it with a queen,” Eleanor offered. “I got a guest room at my place too. It only has a full-size bed, but it’s comfortable as all get-out. Or you can sleep with me in my big ole bed. We can have a slumber party.”
“Oh, no. I have been in these clothes all day.” Unique looked down at her black skinny jeans and red sequined top. “Plus, it will be nice to sleep in my own bed.”
“You sure you don’t want to stay?” Lorain asked, absolutely certain of what Unique’s answer would be.
“No, but thank you so much,” Unique replied. She then stood up. “I’m going to head on out.”
“Let us walk you out,” Lorain said, leading the way to the foyer.
Unique stopped off in the great room and grabbed her purse and then met up with Lorain and Eleanor by the front door.
“Thanks again for dinner, Gran,” Unique said, kissing Eleanor on the cheek.
“Anything for Grandma’s baby.” Eleanor hugged Unique.
“So good seeing you, Mom,” Unique said to Lorain, hugging her.
Eleanor watched observantly as the two women embraced.
Lorain released Unique and then went and opened the door. “See you in the morning.”
“Okay. Have a good night.” Unique exited the house, and Lorain closed the door behind her.
Lorain briskly turned around, intent on heading to the shower and then to bed, then abruptly stopped in her tracks. Eleanor was standing in her path with her hands on her hips.
“It’s a shame when mother and daughter embrace and it’s as awkward as the wife having tea with the mistress,” Eleanor said.
“Oh, for Pete’s sake, what are you rambling on about now?” Lorain said.
“You mean to tell me you didn’t see that? Feel that? The two of you act like you don’t even know how to be around each other anymore. It’s like you both are walking on eggshells. I don’t know who created that distance between you two, but somebody needs to tell me what’s really going on. It’s like you both got something on the tip of your tongue and it’s stuck there. Do I need to knock somebody upside the back of they head until it comes flying out?”
Lorain listened to her mother and then exhaled. She breathed for what felt like the first time since she’d turned around that evening and caught sight of Unique sitting at the kitchen table with the twins. Lorain opened her mouth, but no words came out. She wanted to talk. She’d been wanting to talk . . . to her mother . . . to anybody. But instead she’d kept it all bottled up. Well, her mother was continuously shaking up that bottle, and now Lorain was doing all she could not to pop the cap on her emotions and have them explode everywhere. But all the strength she thought she possessed—all the strength she’d used to keep all her emotions in the closet by pressing both hands against the closet door—had vanished. The door had flung open, and now here she went, crashing to the floor.
“Oh, Mommy.” Tears spilled out of Lorain’s eyes like milk in a full glass turned upside down on purpose. She ran into Eleanor’s arms and cried over the spilled milk.
“Baby girl, what in the world?”
Eleanor was caught off guard by her daughter’s sudden emotional outburst. She hadn’t seen her so torn up since the boys’ funeral. Since then, Lorain had done an excellent job of walking around with her head held high and a smile on her face, like nothing could bring her down. Even though Eleanor had sensed that it was all a front and that one day Lorain would break, she hadn’t expected it to happen at this moment, and so abruptly. But the one thing she had always known, though, was that she would be there for her daughter whenever the dam did break.
“Mommy’s here.” Eleanor wrapped her arms around her daughter and allowed her to weep.
Lorain sniffled. She would have been drunk from the tears on her tongue if the salt from the liquid was an intoxicant. She cried a nice size dam.
“There, there now,” Eleanor said, patting her on the back. “Let’s go sit down and tell Mommy all about it.” Eleanor had to practically peel Lorain’s arms from around her. Lorain was holding on to her like a prayer she refused to let go of until God answered it.
“Come on now, baby.” Eleanor coaxed Lorain over to the couch, and the two sat down. “Let me get you a tissue.” Eleanor reached over to the end table and grabbed a tissue from the Kleenex box that was encased in a crystal holder. “Here you go.” She handed the tissue to Lorain, and Lorain blew into it like an elephant. “Lord Jesus. I knew you were full of it, but—”
“Mom, really? You can’t show a little empathy even now?” Lorain huffed.
“Oh, baby, I’m sorry.” Eleanor pulled Lorain into her arms. “Go on. Get it all out. Whatever it is on your mind . . . and all that snot too.”
“Forget it.” Lorain went to get up, but Eleanor pulled her back down.
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I’m all ears.”
“I need you to be more than all ears right now,” Lorain told her mother. “I need you to be all heart. Because after I finish telling you all that has been heavy on my own heart, I’m going to need for you to still have love in your heart for me.”
“Let me tell you something, baby,” Eleanor said sternly. “I don’t give a dern what you do, think, or say. You are my baby girl. I’m going to be here for you always. Right or wrong, I’ve got your back.”
Lorain knew that to be true, so despite the shame she felt, she went on to tell her mother about her selfishness when it came to keeping Unique from the twins, dating all the way back to the aftermath of the boys’ death. Lorain shared how back when both she and Unique were still attending New Day Temple of Faith, she would go out of her way to avoid Unique when she was with the girls. She feared that Unique would share a moment with the twins and something in her would be triggered, that her connection with the girls would make her want to raise them herself, to be a Mommy again.
Lorain didn’t want Unique to feel as though she needed to replace her lost boys with the girls. Every day Lorain repented for this, but the next day she would wake up thinking about it and go to bed thinking about how to keep Unique from bonding with Victoria and Heaven. As manipulative as she thought Korica was, deep down inside, Lorain figured that she wasn’t any better. That was something she’d have to live with, and she justified it by her love for the twins.
It pained Lorain to share with her mother that she was relieved the day Unique moved to West Virginia. It had given her some breathing space and time to breathe, period. She had always felt she was waiting with bated breath for Unique to decide to tell the girls the truth about who their biological mother was. Even though Unique’s move to West Virginia wasn’t permanent, it put both a physical and a mental distance between Unique and the girls. Yes, it meant there was a distance between mother and daughter, as well, but it was a sacrifice Lorain was willing to make.
“I felt like I was throwing Unique away all over again,” Lorain confessed to Eleanor. “I’m the devil.”
“Oh, girl, hush on up with that nonsense. I’m already at the pity party, and you don’t have to entice me to stay by pulling out the top-shelf liquor.”
“But even today you saw me. I couldn’t get Unique out of here soon enough. The girls begged me to read them another book—I usually give in to their pleas for more—but I knew Unique would want to tell them good night, so I cut the reading short. I couldn’t risk having her tuck her kids into bed, a moment a mother relishes. I couldn’t.” Lorain shook her head and began to weep again. “I’m going to hell.” Lorain waited for Eleanor to say something positive and encouraging, to disagree with her and tell her she would spend eternal life in heaven with all the rest of the saints.
Eleanor sat there with her lips poked out, twiddling her thumbs and scanning the room as if she was looking for something.
“Really, Ma?” Lorain spat. “Did you not hear what I said? I said I’m going to hell.”
Eleanor remained in the same position.
�
��I knew it. You think I’m going to hell too. You hate me.”
“Stop it. I don’t hate you. You hate yourself. Well, at least you hate the way you’ve acted,” Eleanor said. “It was wrong. It was bad. I’d feel awful, too, if the shoe was on the other foot. A mother is supposed to—”
Lorain couldn’t sit there any longer and listen to her mother tell her what a bad person she was. “I shouldn’t have said anything. You said right or wrong, you would still have my back,” Lorain said and then stood up. “You’re beating me up like I’ve been beating myself up all these years.”
Eleanor rose and stood next to her. “And I do have your back, right or wrong. But if you’re wrong, it’s my job to help you get it right.”
“By beating me up with your words?”
“I spotted a good switch out back the other day, when I was walking up to the house. I’m old school, so you know I’d rather use that to beat your behind with, anyway. But I’m getting old, and you’re getting bigger by the bite, so I ain’t got time for that. My words is all I got left to beat you with. But like a good mama, I’ma beat ya, and then I’m going to tend to the wounds. Now come on here.” Eleanor took Lorain in her arms again. “I love you, and we’re going to get through this. We’re going to make things right between the women in this family.”
“Thank you, Mom,” Lorain said, truly believing it was possible. She released her mother and then straightened herself out. “Let me get myself on upstairs. I have to face the music tomorrow. Aka Unique.”
Chapter 7
Lorain watched out her bedroom window as Unique and Eleanor put the twins on the bus. Lorain’s mornings usually consisted of getting up, then heading to the kitchen to get Nicholas’s and the girls’ breakfast cooked. While they ate, she packed their lunches. After they finished eating, she would see Nicholas off to work, then make sure the twins washed up, brushed their teeth, and got dressed. Next, she would do their hair: one ponytail for Heaven and two pigtails for Victoria. This was a request the girls’ teachers had made in order to tell the identical twins apart. After that Eleanor always took over, getting the girls safely on the bus, which stopped at the foot of their driveway to pick them up. By then Lorain was usually getting her own self dressed and prepared for the day. But today she hadn’t even started to get herself together and stood in her robe and watched a scene fit for a movie on the ABC Family network.