by E. N. Joy
“Where you going in such a hurry?” asked Eleanor, who was sitting on the living room couch with her feet propped up, drinking wine.
“I’m going to get my baby,” Lorain said, then ran out the door.
Eleanor took a sip of wine, smiled, and said, “That’s my baby.” She looked up to the heavens. “I knew she’d get it right eventually.”
Chapter 27
Lorain pulled up in front of Unique’s apartment, got out of the car, and rushed to her door and began knocking. She knew that it was late and that she hadn’t called before coming over. There was a chance Unique might not even answer the door. She knocked again. There was still no answer. She turned around and looked into the parking lot. Unique’s car was nowhere in sight. It wasn’t that she simply wasn’t answering the door. She wasn’t home.
“No,” Lorain said, disappointed. She’d told herself that she wasn’t sleeping one more night until she fixed things with her oldest daughter. She couldn’t see how continuing to run, hide, and lie was ever going to make things right. Maybe Lorain couldn’t have everything she wanted, but she could have everything she’d ever prayed for, which was a great husband and a wonderful relationship with her children. Hopefully, after setting things straight, admitting her faults, and quitting them with both Nicholas and Unique, she could get what she’d prayed for.
Lorain raced back to her car. She’d set out on a mission to talk with Unique before she rested her head, and that was exactly what she was going to do. And she knew exactly where she might find her daughter.
Lorain knocked on the door and waited impatiently. It was close to midnight, but she didn’t care. Whether it was twelve noon or twelve midnight, she was 100 percent certain she’d get the same not so warm welcome.
It was pitch black outside, but suddenly the porch light came on and the front door flung open. All Lorain heard was, “If it isn’t Mama number two. What the devil are you doing here?”
“Funny you should ask that,” Lorain said, “considering I came to see the devil . . . and here she stands.”
“Wait a minute. You’re at my house now—”
“The house my daughter bought you.”
“Your daughter? You keep believing that because you gave birth to her, you deserve the right to call her your daughter. But need I repeatedly remind you who raised her?”
“Look, Korica,” Lorain said, seething, forcing the words through her teeth. “I couldn’t care less about you. I actually came to see if by chance Unique was here.”
“She’s not, so you can exit stage left. But don’t worry. I’ll tell her that her wannabe mother stopped by.” Korica went to close the door, but Lorain pushed it back open.
“You have gone too far, and I will not sit back and watch you destroy my family. You have caused strife between me and my husband, me and my daughter, and it stops now.”
Korica stepped out of the house and got nose to nose with Lorain. “Anything you got going on with your husband is your own doing. Same with Unique.”
“Don’t you dare try to pretend your hands are clean in all of this. My husband told me about the little talk you had with him at Unique’s event when she first got out of jail.”
Korica thought for a minute, recollecting the conversation to which Lorain was referring. She wagged her hand upon recalling it. “That little convo. Please. It was the truth, so don’t be mad at me. Don’t you want your husband to know the truth? What kind of relationship starts off on a lie?”
“You mean like your relationship with Unique? All lies and deceit.”
“Here we go.” Korica rolled her eyes.
“It was about money then, and it’s about money now. What? Are you afraid Unique is going to want to spend all her money on me and won’t be able to buy you anything else? News flash, I got my own.”
“No, you got lucky and married money with your broke self.”
“Oh, I’ve never been broke. But guess what?” Lorain pointed a finger in Korica’s face. “You still ended up broke and broken. Anybody who acts like you has to be hurt and broken, because you know what they say. Hurt people hurt people. But you keep it up, and while you’re trying to ruin my relationship with Unique, you’re going to ruin your own. Surely, you’ve heard the saying ‘What goes around comes around.’ So be careful that the hole you think you’re digging for me isn’t your own grave.”
“Go on somewhere with all that rah-rah,” Korica said, putting her hand up in Lorain’s face.
Lorain steered her hand around Korica’s and stuck it in Korica’s face. “Mark my words. And God forbid you ruin your relationship with Unique. Lord only knows how you’re going to keep up with the taxes on this house when all you’ve ever known is Section Eight housing.”
Korica hit Lorain’s hand out of her face. “Don’t you ever talk down to me like that, ever! I deserve this right here.” Korica pointed behind her at her house. “You have no idea what I sacrificed to take care of the daughter you threw away. I earned this here.”
“Earned?” Lorain couldn’t believe Korica had let that word come out of her mouth.
“You heard me. And what have you done to earn anything? All you did was meet up with Unique again by chance after I had already reared her. You weren’t even a decent enough human being to try to find out what happened to the baby you threw in the garbage. Humph. Sounds to me like that makes you the trash.”
Lorain shrugged her shoulders. “You can stop trying to say that with such venom. It doesn’t hurt anymore. I’ve repented and atoned.”
Korica threw her hands up. “God, you Christians kill me with that nonsense! You think that because you say ten Hail Marys, do three laps around the church sanctuary, and throw up in a bucket while someone slings a prayer cloth over you, the things you’ve done in your life will have no consequences. Can’t you see that you’re still paying for everything you’ve done?”
Lorain took in Korica’s words. Did they have some validity? Sure. Lorain had repented and done her best to atone, but then she’d tried to run off like a coward before she ever really had to face the music. God had given her a second chance to connect with the baby girl whose childhood she’d missed out on, and then what had she done? Let some hood rat bully her into giving up Unique all over again, and for what?
“Why, Korica?” Lorain asked her, exhausted and tired of fighting with her. “I did what you asked. You told me I could have the girls as long as I gave you Unique. But then money comes into the picture, and you renege? Is that all you’re going to do the rest of your life? Manipulate people, pretend that you love and want them whenever there’s a financial gain for you?”
“Don’t you dare act like you know me, my story, and why I do what I do, Mrs. . . .” She looked Lorain up and down. “Mrs. Doctor’s Wife. I bet you never went a day in your charming little holy life without.”
“Now, I ain’t been saved all my life,” Lorain replied.
“That’s apparent,” Korica shot back. “But have you ever lived in the projects? Ever been on food stamps? Welfare? Medicaid? Ever had the eye doctor bring out a box of ten pairs of ugly glasses to select from because that’s all Medicaid would pay for? Ever worn the same pair of jeans every week with a different shirt and hoped no one noticed?”
The more Korica spoke, the more emotional she got. “Ever had to take cold baths in the dead of winter because there was no gas? Ever had to cook all yo’ meals in Crock-Pots and on hot plates? Use a cooler instead of the fridge because the electric bill never got paid, so you pretending with your kids y’all camping indoors, trying to make it fun? You got the little ones who don’t know no better and the older ones just playing along to keep from seeing the shame in my eyes.” Korica swallowed her tears and continued. “You ever have to sleep with your mama’s boyfriend while she watched so he’d pay the rent so you and your brothers and sisters wouldn’t get thrown out in the streets?”
Lorain had no words for the scenarios Korica was throwing at her.
“Witc
h, you have no idea what you’ll do for money unless you’ve been in one of those predicaments. Don’t mean I’m a bad person. Just means I’m sc . . .” Korica halted her words. She couldn’t say what she really wanted to say. No, she was way too strong for that. So Lorain finished her sentence for her.
“Scared.”
A tear slid down Korica’s face as Lorain said the word.
“I get it. I get it, Korica,” Lorain assured her passionately. “No, I might not be scared of doing without, but I am scared of another thing—the truth. Girl, my truth is so raggedy and messed up, I don’t think it could ever get repaired and be made to look decent.”
Korica let out a harrumph. “Is that so? I thought y’all’s God could fix anything.”
“Why do you say that?” Lorain asked in a perturbed tone. “Why are you always saying y’all’s God? Don’t you know that He’s your God too?”
“Huh. Yeah, right.” Korica folded her arms and rolled her eyes. “Let me guess. God loves me. God will give me my heart’s desires. God will never leave or forsake me. God will provide for me. Well, where in the devil’s hell was God when my daddy left us for dead? When all my mother was doing was telling us kids how much she hated us? When men were using me and abusing me? Staying with me long enough till I could give ’em a baby? When all I wanted was a regular house to live in and not some drug-infested, prostitute-, pimp- and gang-infested project? When I was being molested? Raped? When my stomach cramped at the end of the month, when my stamps ran out, and I could make sure only that my kids ate? I couldn’t risk eating ’cause then one of them might not have get enough.
“Where was God when I had to use paper towels for pads when it was that time of the month because it was either a pack of diapers for my baby or a pack of maxi pads for me? God wasn’t loving me then. Providing for me. Forget about giving me my heart’s desires. What about my stomach’s? What about the basic necessities of life? I sure felt forsaken, unless God was sitting right there in the room, like some big ole pervert, while them dirty old men was running up inside of me?”
“Enough!” Lorain said. “Stop it!” She couldn’t take any more. She had watched Korica speak with such pain, hurt, and agony. It was almost as if she was standing there, watching herself. She, too, had once felt that broken. But God? When and why had Lorain strayed so far away from God? When had she forgotten about His mercy and amazing grace? Why had she turned to the father of lies, worshipping him by continuing to live lies? She should have been a reflection of God’s glory to women like Korica, but instead, a woman like Korica was reminding her of this fact. Before Lorain knew it, tears were streaming down her own face.
Korica tilted her head from side to side, looking at Lorain. “Are those tears for yourself?”
Lorain wiped her tears away, shaking her head. “From hearing your story,” Lorain admitted. “I didn’t know—”
“Don’t you dare cry for me!” Korica snapped. “You save those tears for your own darn self.” Korica turned her back to Lorain. “Like I need your pity.”
“You’re right. You don’t need my pity, but, sista, something we both need is God’s grace and mercy. And He’s not just my God, in spite of what you might think. He’s your God too, Korica. I know you’ve struggled, I know you had it hard, and the fact that my selfish act resulted in you having one more mouth to feed, which meant one more burden on your already heavy load . . . I’m . . . I’m sorry. And not only am I sorry, but I thank you, my sista. Thank you. You did what I couldn’t. You did what I didn’t. Thank you. God knew you were the chosen one to teach Unique how to be a fighter, how to make it. It’s because of you that my baby girl survived jail and the death of not one, but three of her babies. And then she was strong enough to let the other two go.” Tears were now streaming down both Korica’s and Lorain’s faces.
Slowly and hesitantly, Lorain placed her hand on Korica’s shoulder. Korica looked down at Lorain’s hand and then over her shoulder at Lorain’s face.
“Thank you for raising the baby I threw away and left for dead,” Lorain said. “Thank you for being the strong black woman that you are. Thank you for holding me accountable with my child, and with my husband, for that matter. Although it felt like a thorn in my side, you were pushing me, testing me, and I failed miserably. Now here you are, back again, and I’m still failing.” Lorain removed her hand from Korica’s shoulder. Korica still didn’t turn her body completely around to face Lorain. “Well, you know what? No more. Not this time. Never again will I sit around on pins and needles, waiting for someone else to pull the rug out from under me, revealing all the mess I’ve been sweeping up under it. I will not be a puppet to the lies and a prisoner of my truths.” Tears fell like a stream from Lorain’s eyes. “Glory!” she shouted.
Korica turned around and looked at her.
“Hallelujah! In the name of Jesus, I repent for the lies, secrets, and wrongdoings. And, God, I come to you not because I’ve been revealed and caught, but because I owe you that. You’ve given me too much and done too much for me. And I pay you back by grieving you.” Lorain stomped her foot and shook her head. “Please forgive me, God. Wash me, God. Give me a clean heart and a clean mind. I know the world likes to hold our past against us, but, God, you are a God of second chances, third, fourth, and fifth ones. You are a God of fresh starts. And I thank you. God, I thank you.”
With each word Lorain spoke, she felt as if chains were falling off. She felt like she could float. A huge weight was being lifted as God received her prayer. “Yes, God!” she shouted as her feet, with a mind of their own, began to move. And she jumped and she leaped right there on Korica’s porch.
“Oh, my goodness! Is this that Holy Ghost stuff they be talking about?” Korica said, not knowing what to do with the woman who was happy in the spirit right there on her porch. She attempted to grab hold of Lorain, but Lorain’s arms were just a-flailing as she cried out to God. Korica was in a panic as she watched Lorain flop around, speak in tongues, her head bobbing up and down and her arms waving at the ground while her feet moved faster than James Brown’s at a concert. When all her attempts to grab hold of Lorain failed, she did the only thing she could think of. She cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled out, “Somebody call nine-one-one!”
Chapter 28
“Are you sure you’re okay to drive, ma’am?” the EMT said to Lorain as she sat in her car and talked to him through the rolled-down window. The gentleman, who was of medium height and had brown skin, was genuinely concerned.
“Yes, I promise you all is well,” Lorain assured him. “I’m sorry you all wasted your time coming out, but I assure you I’m one hundred percent healthy.”
Not one, but two of Korica’s neighbors had actually called 911. And it hadn’t made things look any better when the ambulance pulled up to find Lorain laid out in the spirit on Korica’s porch. The heavy scent of ammonia entering Lorain’s nostrils had brought her out of her spiritual coma. This wasn’t the first time Lorain had been laid out in the spirit, but it was the most powerful time. When she’d come to, she was dizzy and a tad incoherent. She figured God must have needed to put her under a little bit longer than usual . . . taking her a little bit deeper in Him. Her stomach had felt queasy, but she was sure that had everything to do with that horrific smell.
“In all honesty,” Lorain said to the EMT, “I think she’s the one you need to check on.” Lorain nodded toward Korica, who sat on her porch, still spooked by the entire incident.
The EMT looked back up at Korica. “Yeah, looks like she’s seen a ghost.” He chuckled.
“She did.” Lorain then said under her breath, “The Holy Ghost.”
“I’ll go check on her. You take care, miss.”
“Thank you,” Lorain said as he walked away. She rolled her window up and then started her car. She looked over at the passenger seat, at her cell phone. She picked it up and saw that she had back-to-back missed calls from Eleanor. She was about to call her to let her know she was oka
y when she saw that Eleanor had texted her as well. The one thing Lorain knew about her mother was that she never sent text messages. She didn’t read ’em, and she didn’t send ’em. So something had to be up.
Lorain opened the text and read it. She threw the phone back down on the passenger seat, backed out of the driveway and drove back to her mother’s place as quickly as she could. She didn’t care how many traffic laws she broke. She was about to lose her daughter for good.
“You can’t pick up and move to Atlanta,” Lorain said to Unique as she, Unique, and Eleanor sat in Eleanor’s living room.
When Lorain had read the text that her mother had sent her, her heart had nearly stopped. The text read,
Unique is here at the house, on way to airport. Moving to Atlanta.
She had hoped it was all a misunderstanding. But here Unique sat, confirming that she had an early morning flight she planned on catching after making her rounds of good-byes. She had a one-way ticket to Atlanta and did not foresee that she’d ever be back.
“But what about Terrance?” Lorain asked in a panic. “Is that where he’s making you move?”
“Mom, Terrance isn’t making me do anything, because there is no me and Terrance,” Unique told her.
“What?” Lorain was shocked to hear that. But if she’d kept in touch with her daughter more, maybe she’d have known that. “What happened?”
“It’s a long story, but in short, he walked in on me and one of my babies’ daddies while we were mourning the death of our son. It didn’t look good, if you know what I mean.” Unique didn’t have to go into details. It was clear to both Lorain and Eleanor that Terrance must have walked in on something he couldn’t deal with. Unique saw the look in Lorain’s and Eleanor’s eyes and wanted to clear something up. “I didn’t cheat on him or anything like that. Yes, Eugene and I shared a kiss, but—”