He’d said no to sex a minute ago. Had he changed his mind? She wasn’t about to complain.
Nate tossed his shirt to the floor, then pulled her to him. She straddled his legs, their mouths crashing into each other. His hands fumbled between them, his fingers grazing her skin while his tongue thrust between her lips.
“Help me?” he said.
She looked down at his partially-undone belt, the tab to his jeans open.
Cara had never undressed a man before. But Nate wasn’t a man, he wasn’t just anyone, he was Nate. And she wanted him.
She worked the belt loose, while he fished his wallet from between the sofa cushions and retrieved a condom out from the pockets. She eased his zipper down. He hissed and they both froze.
That was what he’d meant, wasn’t it?
“Sorry...I thought...” She stammered sounds that might be words. In another language.
Nate chuckled and eased a hand under the zipper.
“Go on,” he said.
“Oh...”
So...they were having sex?
She wasn’t going to stop and ask for clarification now. If he was on board with the idea of sex, now, so was she.
Cara lowered his zipper and he eased his jeans and underwear down his hips, but not very far. Her knees were in the way.
She’d seen him naked, but it was still a new experience. That first time, she’d looked at him and wondered if they could fit. If it was humanly possible. For all she knew, he could be average and her experience subpar, but she found that was hard to believe.
“You want to?” He held the condom between his fingers.
She shook her head.
There were some things that were beyond her ability.
He ripped the packet open and she sat back on his knees, the wiry hairs tickling her bottom. She watched him fit the condom on and roll it down, both fascinated and...hungry.
Nate palmed her breast and straightened, his gaze on her mouth. She leaned in, meeting his kiss. He pulled her closer, hiking her skirt up until she could feel his erection against her mound.
Wait... What was he doing?
The head of his cock pressed against her. She gasped and her brain stopped working. Nate...moved her. He eased her down, their bodies fitting together. Her vision blurred a bit and she groaned.
“N-Nate.” She whimpered his name.
“Hold onto me,” he said against her neck.
That much, she could do. She dug her fingers into the thick cords of muscle at his shoulders. The hair on his chest scraped her breasts in a pleasant sort of way.
“That’s it.” He kissed along her jaw.
Nate shifted his hold until he had his hands cupping her bottom. He lifted his hips, shifting against her.
“Does that feel good?” His voice was strained, a lot like how she felt.
“Yeah.”
“Good. Touch me?”
Oh...no... She swallowed. What was she supposed to do with a request like that? She was doing good just holding on. But...he was asking her to. Because it was something he wanted.
“W-where?” she asked.
“Wherever.”
She slid a hand down his chest, marveling at the feel of him.
He swiped his thumbs across both nipples, sending an electric jolt through her body. She groaned and arched her back. He stroked down her back and sides while his lips kissed across her chest.
This was what it felt like to be wanted. Loved. And she wanted to...show him how she felt, too.
She kissed the back of his bent neck, the top of a shoulder.
Nate cupped her bottom with both hands and lifted. She gasped, both from the sensation of his erection sliding out and the display of strength. Her shaky thighs didn’t want to cooperate. He held her tight to his chest, his mouth on hers and slowly eased his hold. She gasped and he thrust his tongue into her mouth as his cock filled her again.
She cupped his face in her palms.
That—that felt good. New.
This time, he guided her, helping her wobbly knees along. She sat back down and groaned.
“That’s it,” he said against her mouth.
Nate shifted, easing down farther into the cushions, one side of his mouth hitched up.
He took one of her hands and placed it on the back of the sofa. This time, she used her grip to hoist herself up with his help, rising higher. She arched her chest, loving the way their bodies sliding against each other felt.
He pushed her down harder, lifting his hips, thrusting deeper.
Oh, that—yes. More of that.
That was the key. Doing what felt good. Right. What worked for her seemed to work for him. It was a matter of interpreting the body language. Seeing him, his smile, the way his mouth went slack from time to time, told her what to do more of. She’d always feared being seen, but now...maybe that’s what she’d done wrong.
Nate dug his fingers into her hips, gripping her bottom. His groans were the sounds of pleasure. It wasn’t just him doing something to her, for her. He liked this, too.
She let him guide her, but she also listened to her own body. How arching her back and tilting her hips increased the right kind of touch and friction.
“Mm—Cara...” He opened his eyes, looking up at her.
She loved this man.
His hips thrust up into her, harder, rougher. She gasped and her pace faltered.
Nate sat up, his forearm under her bottom. He lifted her, faster than before.
“Oh—oh!” She dug her nails into his shoulders.
“God, I love you, Cara.”
She whimpered a reply, her brain too scrambled now to form words.
“Fuck. Hold on.”
What the hell was she doing now?
Nate picked her up and put her flat on her back. One arm hooked under her leg, forcing her thighs wide open. He braced himself over her on one arm and...moved. Surging into her. She yelped, unprepared for the soul-deep thrust. She scooted a few inches from the sheer power of him before he withdrew and plunged deep again.
His lips moved against her cheek, chanting words she could barely make out. If her scrambled brain were processing.
She did this to him. Drove him crazy. Her. Awkward, plan, simple, Cara.
Her spine arched and she dug her nails into his back. She was flying, soaring, her body vibrating with pleasure so deep she might never find herself again. Nate buried his face against her neck and she hugged him close through the uneven, short strokes of his orgasm. She wanted to stay like this, in this moment where their souls and bodies mingled as one.
Nate shuffled out of the guest bathroom, more than a little spent. It wasn’t a physical weariness...it was different. Cara wore him out in a way he wanted to do over and over and over again. Not just his muscles, but his emotions.
Who knew happiness could be exhausting?
She wasn’t in the living room where he’d left her. Her clothes were gone.
He flipped the lights off, checked the lock on the front door and headed into their bedroom.
Theirs.
He liked the sound of that. Of sharing things with Cara.
There she was.
Face down in her pillow, wearing his shirt.
He’d waited a lifetime for this and, man, he did not want to screw it up.
Nate turned off the light and slid into bed after her, folding himself around her. She stirred, snuggling closer. Always closer. As if being inside his heart wasn’t close enough already.
He had a week. She was giving him that, to prove that they could work. He could do this.
“Nate?” her voice was muffled by the pillow.
“Hm?” He stroked her hair to the side so he could see the one, blue eye peering up at him.
“Why did you say, no sex and then yes sex?”
“When did I say no?”
“I asked if you wanted to come in here...”
“Oh.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek.
That was ea
sy.
But first...
He tugged her around to face him, their legs tangling, bodies pressed together.
That was better.
“I like being able to tie you up. I don’t have to do it. It’s fun, but not like...a requirement. Besides, I wasn’t about to stop doing what we were doing to do something else.” He traced her lips, the confused little pout.
“Okay,” she said slowly. Sometimes, he saw questions on her face she didn’t know how to ask. Like now. She still didn’t completely understand, and he couldn’t blame her. This was new territory.
“Cara, I like sex. A lot. It doesn’t always have to be the same. There are no rules, no gotta do this or that.” He slid his hand up her back, under his shirt.
“Well, um, I like it with you, too.”
“Good.” He pressed his lips to hers, briefly. It wouldn’t take a lot to get him going again.
“I don’t, um, know how to interpret when you want to do what, though.”
He chuckled. She couldn’t read the directions yet and it bugged her. That was Cara, treating everything like exam prep and she had to be ready.
“I’ll try to be clearer next time, okay? The answer will always be yes to sex, though.”
“Oh. Um. Okay.”
He didn’t need the lights on to tell him she was blushing. He could feel the heat in her cheeks. She might not have been a virgin, but she was still not that far removed to have the same kind of comfort level as he did. Which was why he needed to back off, let her warm up to the reality of them more. They had a week. There was time enough.
“You don’t have to want it when I do. Saying no is okay.” He bumped her nose with his.
“I don’t want to say no, though.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I have a very healthy appetite.” He found her lips with his.
Her little nails dug into his shoulder. That timid veneer was wearing off and her desire was beginning to show through. What would it be like in a week? A year? A decade? He couldn’t help but imagine that it would get better with time. A lot better. Especially as Cara grew more comfortable with him and herself. She’d never stop being awkward. It was her middle name. But she had her own kind of unique confidence that he dug.
Damn, he needed to back off, roll over, leave her alone, but those fingers stroking his shoulder were giving him all sorts of other ideas. Especially when her kisses turned exploratory.
“So...what do you say when you want to tie me up?” She asked between breaths.
“I’d say, Cara, I want to tie you up and fuck you. How’s that sound?” Oh, yeah, ideas. All sorts of them.
“Yes. Okay.”
Wait...
“Now?” He blinked at her.
“Oh, I guess not?” Her voice fell.
“Oh, no. You already said yes.” He grinned. She was already coming out of her shell, which was just proof they were better together than anyone could imagine.
Teasing Cara, finding out what she was like when aroused, was going to be his new, favorite hobby.
12.
Cara ended the call with her manager, legs shaking.
Well, that was done.
She hadn’t quit, but she was on probation. Or something. No one was happy with her disappearing for a week. Yes, this would eat up almost all of her vacation time for the year, but...if things went well, she wouldn’t be going back to them.
Her phone vibrated and she cringed.
What now?
Besides Nate, who was now locked away in his studio, the only people who called or texted her were people she’d rather avoid right now.
She glanced at the screen, and wished she hadn’t.
Mom.
Cara had chickened out last night and opted to text Denis that she was staying longer, instead of calling her mother. She didn’t know if Mom would be thrilled to be rid of her or what, but this bandage had to come off.
She hit the green Answer button and sucked down a deep breath.
“Hi, Mom,” she said, going for bright and cheerful.
“Where are you?” Mom demanded.
“Oh, uh, did Denis tell you?”
“This morning, when I went to get you out of bed. What are you doing? You’re going to lose your job.”
Cara didn’t blame Denis for waiting until the last moment to tell Mom. Cara’s step-father might not be the type to give her much open support, but he did so in quiet ways. Like not outing her ridiculous decisions to her mother until the last possible second.
“I’ve already squared everything away with work, Mom. It’s fine.” Cara swallowed. She couldn’t bring herself to say the rest of it. It was still too new.
“You need to be here, not farting away every last penny you have. This is stupid, Cara. I’m so disappointed in you.”
“I’m not spending anything.” Okay, so she had bought the thrift store sewing machine, but it was still practically new in the box. It was a steal of a find.
“You’re being completely irresponsible. Why can’t you just grow up?”
“Mom, that’s not fair.”
“Fair? You want to talk about fair?”
Cara winced. Oh, if she could take that word back...
“Fair would mean your father paid me back for every penny he took from me. Fair would mean he didn’t spend your scholarship money before you even knew about it. Fair would mean my grown daughter isn’t living off me. Don’t talk to me about fair.”
“I’m sorry, Mom.” Cara paced into the living room. She needed to move.
“How much is this costing you?”
“Nothing!”
“Changing flights isn’t cheap. You don’t have that much money, Cara. I opened your bank statement.”
Cara squeezed her eyes shut.
Her mother cared. She had a bad way of showing it, but she did care. That was what was important. Dad had damaged them both with his betrayal. It would take time, and maybe distance from Cara, to heal Mom.
“Nate changed my flight. He said he wanted me to stay longer. It’s his Christmas present to me. Us. I guess.”
“This is nonsense, Cara. When you get home, we have to have a serious conversation about what it’s going to take to get you out of here. I cannot be responsible for you anymore.”
“Cara?”
She turned around.
Nate peered out of his studio, finger across his lips.
“Sorry,” she whispered.
Her mother continued the tirade. It never changed, it was always the same.
Cara grabbed her purse and let herself out of the apartment. Nate needed silence and at some point, Cara’s mother would say something that cut deep enough she’d cry. It wouldn’t be pretty, but it was routine. Cara should be used to this by now, but she wasn’t.
She wrapped an arm around herself, bit her lower lip, and started down the sidewalk, no place in mind. Just walking. Half an hour later and a dump truck full of Mom guilt, Cara sat on a bench, staring at the concrete in front of her.
The yawning emptiness inside of her hurt. Sometimes she wished her family could have continued as they were with Dad. He’d always made them happy, Mom had laughed. But it was a smoke screen. He’d used humor to make them oblivious to the hole he was digging for them.
A lot of what Cara’s mother said was true, in parts. But not all of it. It was hard to remember that at times. She wasn’t her father. Yes, they were similar in ways, but she could be different.
Cara sucked down a deep breath and glanced at her phone. Typically she’d be at work, mired in some project or another. Now...she was at odds. Yes, she could go back to the apartment and get to work on her thrift store finds, but...she wanted to talk to someone. Nate was busy. The rest of her friends didn’t really care about her, as she’d learned last night. So, now what?
She clicked into Facebook, an above-average number of notifications beckoning her,
A new friend request.
What were the chances it was another older man, looki
ng for love?
Ellie...Orakzai? How was that even pronounced?
Cara accepted the request. Because, why not?
A new message popped up next to the other notifications.
Curious, Cara tapped the messages. It wasn’t one of the standard, you’re now friends with so-and-so prompt.
Hey Cara! It was nice to meet you yesterday. Hope to see you again. :)
Cara stared at Ellie’s smiling face.
Ellie was Nate’s friend. Would it be weird if Cara talked to her, too?
What the hell?
Nice to meet you, too.
I’ll be here the rest of the week. Maybe we’ll meet up?
Cara winced.
Was that a lame thing to say? Should she put a bit more thought into the messages?
A reply popped up almost immediately.
Cool! We should do lunch sometime.
Hell, what are you doing for lunch now?
Well...that was fast.
What was she doing?
Nate had warned her he was going to be in his studio for a long time. If she went out, she wouldn’t be in his way, she wouldn’t be there to bother him, and maybe she could...get another woman’s perspective on her life.
Getting myself lost. Lunch would be great, but I’m stranded.
What would Cara talk about with someone like Ellie?
LoL, not a problem. There’s a cool café near Nate’s place. What intersection are you at? Be there in 10.
Cara ambled toward the nearest cross street and fired off another message. Should she check in with Nate? See if this was okay? She didn’t want to trespass with his new friends. She always over-thought things. Besides, Ellie had reached out to Cara.
Whatever.
She was putting too much meaning into this. Just because things with Nate were and weren’t complicated didn’t mean everything else had to be. She fired off the names of the streets and settled in to wait for her ride, equal parts nervous and excited.
California was a new life. New possibilities. Could this be her reality? She wanted it so badly she was scared of it.
Almost ten minutes exactly Ellie and Cara were cruising down the street, windows lowered and some sort of bass heavy electronic music thumping in the background.
“I should have asked, do you like Middle Eastern food?” Ellie turned her mini cooper into the parking lot of a small building. The outdoor seating area was easily as big as the actual restaurant.
The Adorkable Girl and the Geek (Gone Geek 5) Page 11