by Ann Lister
He dropped his gaze. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Was it a one night thing?” she asked quietly.
He shook his head, kicking imaginary rocks on the pavement. “No.”
She shifted her weight uneasily and glanced off toward the parking lots. “A weekend fling?” she asked hopefully.
“No.”
“Then, how long, Michael? How long were you sleeping with her?” she asked, her voice pitching an octave.
“About a year.”
She slapped his face fiercely. “Go to hell.”
“Annie, it wasn’t serious. There were no emotions. It was just…”
“You were sex buddies? Is that it?”
“Yeah, something like that.” he shrugged. “We were on the road and bored.”
“So you had sex to suppress the boredom?”
She opened the door to the jeep and he stopped her from getting inside.
“Annie, it was nothing; which is exactly why I didn’t tell you about it. It was a long time ago, part of my past. Would you feel better if I gave you a list of everyone I’ve slept with? I hope not, because I don’t even remember half of them!”
She shoved him hard on his chest. “You’re an asshole! I don’t want a list, Michael, but it sure would be nice to know about previous relationships you had with people I’m going to be working with on a day to day basis! That would be the decent thing to do.”
“I’m sorry,” he spoke softly.
“What about Taylor? Did you sleep with her too?”
“No. But Brian did, one time, I think.”
“Wonderful. I guess you guys had a regular party going on during that tour, didn’t you.”
“I’m serious, it wasn’t a big deal. We were basically friends.”
“Friends that had sex - a lot, for a year.”
He stepped closer. “Please…I want you to understand.”
“You have a plane to catch. Go.”
“The plane can wait.”
Annie hopped up into the jeep. “No, I think you really need to leave. I can’t deal with you right now.”
“Annie!”
She turned the key in the ignition. “Go back to Boston with your friends, Michael, and I’ll talk to you later.”
Annie drove back to the house and plunked herself into a deck chair, staring at the ocean. She sat there for hours deep in thought. She watched the sun set and the moon rise. She heard the house phone ring several times and also her cell phone. She ignored every call. She was too angry for tears or conversation. Somehow she had to process this information and deal with it. The opportunity Lace was offering her was too good to walk away from simply because of Michael’s past relationship with Lacey. But it hurt that he had kept that relationship a secret. She wondered how Lacey felt about him now, after all these years. Would there still be a spark between them or contempt?
She went to bed without eating and quickly regretted that decision, running to the bathroom and vomiting. In the morning she felt even worse. Saltines and ginger ale was all she could keep down. Around lunch, she dialed Taylor’s phone number. If Michael’s past relationship with Lacey was going to be a problem, Annie wanted to know now.
“Hi Taylor, it’s Annie Logan. How are you doing?”
“Hi Annie! I was going to give you a call later on today and ask if you could come down sometime before Friday. How does that work for you?” Taylor asked.
“Before I do that, there’s a few things you need to know about me first.” she sighed.
“Oh, Annie, should I be sitting down for this?” Taylor joked, sensing the seriousness of the conversation.
“There are a few things I didn’t tell you when I signed the contracts with you that I think you need to know now before I come down to work with you.”
“Like what Annie?” Taylor’s voice grew stern.
“For starters, I’m married.”
“That’s no big deal. We all have boyfriends - and husbands, from time to time.”
Annie took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Yesterday, I was informed my husband had a past relationship with Lacey. I need to know if this is going to create an awkward working environment for us?”
Taylor laughed. “Annie, Lacey has had relationships with a lot of guys over the years but I seriously doubt your husband is one of them.”
“My husband is Michael Wade.”
Silence filled the phone line.
“Seriously?”
“Very.”
“Wow, Annie. I’m stunned. Where the hell did you have him stashed when we met you on the Vineyard?”
Annie exhaled loudly. “We weren’t together then. When I met you, I hadn’t seen him in months - by choice. And then Brian asked me to go see Michael in June at their Boston shows and we got back together. Next thing I knew we were getting married.”
“Well, to answer your question, I don’t have a problem with you being married to Michael. I think he’s a great guy. I can’t speak for Lacey though, but I sincerely doubt she’ll have an opinion on it. They were together such a long time ago and, based on what she told me at the time, it really was no big deal. In fact, I believe he was still seeing other women at the same time so they weren’t even exclusive with each other.”
“Okay. I had to ask though. Last thing I wanted to do was create bad feelings with Lacey.”
“I appreciate your honesty but no worries here, Annie. Do you want me to mention this to Lacey?”
“Yeah, would you mind?”
“Not a problem. I’ll be seeing her later on today. Now, when do you think you can come down to start working?”
Annie smiled. “I’ll have to see about making ferry reservations but I’m sure I can find a way to get there before the end of the week.”
“We’re not expecting you to drive down here, Annie! We fully intend to pay for your airfare and moving costs. Don’t worry about any of that. Just book the flight and let me know when you’re arriving and I’ll send a car to pick you up at the airport.”
“Okay, I’ll see you soon,” Annie sighed.
Bonita greeted Michael at the door and quickly asked why Annie wasn’t with him. He explained his meeting with Beth and disappeared into the master bedroom to call Annie. Several times he tried and she ignored each attempt. His heart sank. He wondered how he could be so stupid. She was the first ‘real’ relationship he had ever had and he was making every mistake in the book. He dialed her cell phone again and left another message. Then he called the Ritz-Carlton hotel in Boston.
“Good evening, Ritz-Carlton Hotel.” “Yes, can you connect me to Beth Wade’s room, please.” Michael rolled his eyes in disgust. The fact that Beth still had his name connected to the end of hers even bothered him.
“Hello?”
“Hi, it’s me.” he said.
Beth immediately recognized his smooth baritone voice. Hearing it still sent a shiver down her spine. “Hi, Michael. How’d you know I was here?”
“My lawyer called me. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
Beth ignored his hostile tone. “It’s good to hear your voice too.”
“Hey, mom. Can I have a soda from the mini-bar?” Michael’s son asked his mother.
The blood drained from Michael’s face. “John’s with you too?”
“Yes, would you like to see him?”
“I’ll be there in half an hour,” he replied, hanging up the phone, and hoping this wasn’t another one of her famous tricks.
Beth answered the door and swung it wide for Michael. The years hadn’t changed her much. She was still blond, although Michael was intelligent enough to know that it was no longer natural. The only evidence that time had passed were the tiny laugh lines around her blue eyes. He forced a weak smile on his face and stepped inside the suite.
“Hi, Michael,” Beth smiled broadly, flashing her perfect white teeth. Teeth he was sure he’d paid to be capped and bleached. “Still using the baseball hat for disguise, I see.”
Michael ignored her comment and looked beyond her into the living room. “Where’s John?”
“He’s in there watching television,” she answered, turning her back toward Michael. “Jonathan, your father is here,” she called to the boy.
Seconds later the boy appeared in the foyer. Michael’s face instantly lit up with happiness. “Hey, John, how have you been?”
The boy gave a reluctant nod and smiled shyly at Michael. He was a pre-teen now and his appearance reflected as much. His head was still covered with a thick matting of dark curls, the same color as Michael’s, but his face displayed more of his mother’s sharp features -except for the eyes. There was no doubt John shared the same distinct shade of pale blue eyes as his father. Michael smiled proudly. By anyone’s standard, his boy was turning into a handsome young man.
“Do you still play video games?” Michael asked.
“Yes and I’m better than all my friends too,” he answered with conceit.
“Oh yeah? That sounds like a challenge to me,” Michael smirked, turning the ball cap around backwards as if preparing for conquest.
Beth watched from the doorway for a few minutes then retreated into the sanctuary of the master bedroom. Hours went by before Michael and John appeared in the bedroom. Michael fidgeted with his car keys.
“It’s getting late. I should get going,” he commented.
Beth sat upright on the bed and closed the book she was reading.
“Are you coming back tomorrow, Dad?” John asked his father.
Michael laid an arm around his son’s shoulder and tossed an inquisitive look toward Beth. “As far as I know,” he answered. “Let me speak to your Mom for a minute and I’ll talk to you before I leave. Okay?”
John dropped his shoulders and trudged back to the living room.
“So, what’s the deal with tomorrow?” he asked, trying to keep the attitude out of his voice. “Do we still have an appointment at noon?”
“Yes,” she replied, sliding her legs over the side of the bed to stand. “We have a lot to talk about.”
Michael nodded. “Okay, I’ll be back then.” He turned to leave the room then stopped, pivoting his head over his shoulder. “Thanks,” he mumbled.
“For what?” Beth asked.
“For letting me see my son.”
Michael called Annie when he returned home and again she ignored his call. He cursed loudly and tossed the phone onto the bedside table and drifted into the shower. The next day, Michael arrived on time for his meeting with Beth. A babysitter was just leaving the suite with John, on their way to the infamous FAO Schwartz toy store. Michael gave the woman a stack of money and promised to see John when they returned. Then the door closed and Michael was alone with Beth. The mere thought of it sent a cold shiver down his spine.
She was dressed in a short silk skirt and button down blouse with her blond hair piled up on her head. A knot began to form in his stomach. He followed her into the living room and took a seat on the couch. Beth chose a chair located in front of him and sat, slowly crossing her long legs. Michael turned away, refusing to fall for her manipulations.
“You look wonderful, Michael. You’re so tanned. Have you been working outside?”
“No. We’ve been living at the beach.”
“We’ve? Are you referring to that girl from the accident or is this a new one?”
“She has a name, you know, and it’s Annie.”
“I didn’t know you two were still together.”
“No thanks to you,” he mumbled.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she replied defensively.
“I heard about your phone call while I was on tour, Beth. Not particularly smart.”
“I spoke the truth as I knew it.”
“That was twenty years ago! You have no idea who I am now,” he answered, throwing his arms over the back of the couch. “At any rate, it doesn’t matter now. Annie and I are still together and things couldn’t be better. In fact, we were married a couple of months ago.”
“Yes, I think I might have read something about that somewhere. I can’t remember,” she lied. Not only had she read the article, she cut it out of the newspaper and put it in her private scrapbook.
Beth studied his face, so handsome and ageless. “Do you love her?” she asked suddenly, her voice so soft it was barely audible.
He locked his eyes onto hers and answered quickly. “Yes, very much.”
Beth turned away, as if his words knocked the wind from her lungs. “Wow, I never thought I’d live to hear you say that,” she said, moving to the window. “I didn’t think you were capable of it.”
“I guess I had to find the right woman,” he replied smugly. He knew his words were killing her and, in some perverted way, he was enjoying it.
Silence filled the room as Beth stared out at the city traffic below.
“Look, I’ve said all I’m going to say about Annie. My relationship with her is very personal, and frankly, the last person I feel like sharing the details of it with is you! So, could we please change the subject and discuss the reason you dragged me into town?”
Beth drew a deep breath and returned to her chair. “Okay,” she sighed, nervously wringing her hands. “There’s a man in my life and he’s asked me to marry him.”
The smile on Michael’s face was quick and brilliant. “Congratulations. I couldn’t be happier.”
“Why? Because it will bring an end to your alimony payments?”
Still smiling, Michael nodded. “Sure, why not?”
Beth shook her head.
“Anyone I know?” he asked, curious as to whom the unlucky bastard was.
“He isn’t in the business, so I doubt you’d know him.”
“Does he have a name?”
“Frank. His name is Frank.”
“Okay. So, you wanted to meet to tell me you’re getting remarried?”
“No. Well, partly.” Beth stood again and went back to the window. “Look, Michael, Frank wants to adopt John after we get married and make everything legal.”
“No fucking way!” Michael screamed, as he quickly rose to his feet. “You’ll have to kill me first!”
“I told him you’d never agree to it but I promised him I’d at least mention it. You have to admit you’re not exactly the best role model as a father, Michael. If you’re not on the road with the band you’re in the recording studio.”
“Go to hell! It’s not like you gave me a God-damned chance to be a father, Beth!” He turned and headed toward the door. “It’s shared custody or nothing. I won’t agree to anything less.”
“All right, Michael. You made your point. I think we can reach some sort of agreement,” she answered, trying to calm his fury and prevent him from leaving.
Michael squeezed his eyes tight and gritted his teeth. A heavy sigh of anger released from his nostrils. She knew every button to push on him to get the reaction she wanted.
“How about a week next summer?” she offered.
“How about a month?” he returned. “And I want to see him every other holiday - effective immediately.”
“Okay. Bottom line is, John needs a father figure in his life. He’s getting older now and he’ll be looking for the type of guidance I won’t always be able to give him. But if we agree to this and you screw it up, that’s it. Deal’s off.”
“Likewise for you. And my lawyer wants this all put on paper too.”
There was an awkward pause between them and Michael shifted uneasily in place. He didn’t want to leave until John came back from the toy store but he had nothing left to discuss with Beth either.
Beth crossed her legs again and smiled up at him. “We made a beautiful boy together, didn’t we Michael.”
Without emotion he nodded. “That is the only good thing that came out of it.”
“Oh, come on, Michael. It wasn't all bad. We did have some good times too. At least I can remember some.”
Michael plunked himself back down on th
e couch and stared at his hands.
“It was good in the beginning before the drugs took control of our lives,” she continued.
He looked up into her face. “I don't ever remember when the drugs weren't in control.”
“It was recreational at first. That was when you and Brian were getting the band started. Remember all the great parties we had at our apartment on Lincoln Street?”
Michael smiled and nodded.
“Remember that dog Brian used to have? What was his name?”
“Shitz,” Michael laughed.
“Yeah, that’s it! God. I remember we used to get that poor dog stoned all the time.”
“I’m surprised the dog lived as long as he did,” Michael added.
“And then we moved into the big house,” she sighed. “That’s where John was conceived, you know.”
Michael stared at her silently, wishing she would stop talking.
“It was still good back then, Michael. Wasn’t it good for you?”
He began to squirm on the couch and glanced at his watch, wondering when John and the babysitter would return.
“Can I ask you something? And I want you to be truthful,” she said.
“Depends on the question.”
Beth nodded and carefully considered her words. “In all the years we were together, was there ever a time when you loved me?”
Michael closed his eyes and dropped his head onto the back of the couch. “Damn it, Beth. What kind of question is that?”
“You can’t answer a question with a question,” she smiled nervously.
Michael rubbed at his forehead and eyes. Then suddenly lifted his head, locked his eyes on Beth and opened his mouth. “Okay, then my answer is no.”
Beth got out of her seat and went back to the window.
“I was fucked up back then,” he explained. “I loved the drugs, I loved my band and I loved the lifestyle. There wasn’t much room left over for anything or anyone else after that. But that was a long time ago. I got sober and I’m healthier now than I’ve ever been in my life. I love waking up in the morning now.”
His eyes dropped to his lap. “And I love Annie,” he sighed quietly, almost to himself.
“She’s a very lucky girl,” Beth replied, resting her head against the window pane.