by Ann Lister
“Hi,” she replied weakly, and nervously stepped away from his gaze.
Dara came up beside her and circled her arm around her. “Hmmm, seems like Jay has taken quite an interest in you,” she whispered.
“Oh, please! The last thing I need is another musician in my life,” Annie answered smartly.
Annie enjoyed their music and clapped along with the audience. Every time Jay’s eyes landed on Annie, they held hers, a bright smile lighting up his face. When their last break came, he chose the chair beside her and quickly engaged her in conversation.
“Do you live here?” he asked.
“For the time being,” she answered evasively.
“How do you know Dara?”
Annie indulged him of the brief history she had with Lace and uneasily sipped at her drink.
“So, you’re in the business?” he smiled, pleased with the information.
After the show, he was at her side again, eager to continue their conversation. He made her feel comfortable and he made her laugh, two things she hadn’t experienced in a long time.
“Listen, a bunch of us are heading into Oak Bluffs to catch last call before the bars close. Would you like to join us?” he asked. “Dara and Billy are coming too.”
Annie nervously shifted her weight from foot to foot, pondering his invitation. It was getting late, much later than she had ever expected to be out, but something drew her to him. In a weak moment, she agreed to follow Jay into town.
They drew a crowd inside the tiny pub, with many of the patrons recognizing them. An instant feeling of panic washed over Annie, which Jay immediately sensed, and suggested they go outside for a walk.
“Is this better?” he asked, filling his lungs with the fresh air.
She nodded in agreement and followed him across the street.
“If you don’t mind me saying so, it looked like you were beginning to panic a bit back there,” he said.
“I’m not crazy about crowds when they get close like that,” she answered.
“Spoken like a woman with experience,” he smiled, pushing his hands into his jeans.
“I guess you could say that.”
They headed toward Ocean Park, one of the main focal points in the town of Oak Bluffs. It is a lush expanse of grassy knolls, although quiet at night, it has winding pathways that lead round seasonal flowerbeds to the Gazebo centerpiece and overlooks the ocean; which at night, is an invisible visitor to the shore.
They sat silently on a wooden bench and he studied her profile intently. She felt his inquisitive eyes on her face and throat and wondered why her skin wasn’t reacting the way it did when Michael gazed at her.
“Jay, did Dara tell you I was coming tonight?” she asked, beginning to wonder if this meeting had been nothing more than Dara playing matchmaker and Jay’s keen interest in her had all been prearranged.
“No. Why? Was she supposed to?” he asked.
Annie shook her head and bent forward, wiping her sweaty palms on her skirt. “I was wondering how much you knew about me, that’s all.”
“I don’t know a thing, except that I find you fascinating and I’d like to see you again.”
She turned and gazed at him, his face illuminated by the street lamp positioned behind them. He was smiling at her casually, then his fingers reached out to entwine themselves into the loose strands of her hair. She stood abruptly as if his touch had electrocuted her and turned away.
“Jay, I’m not sure seeing me again is such a good idea,” she blurted.
“Why not? I don’t see a wedding ring on your finger. Unless…you’re not interested?”
“I'm not married,” she answered facing him. “But I do have a lot of baggage.”
“Don’t we all,” he laughed, stretching his arms across the back of the bench.
“Not like mine,” she replied swiftly, her eyes filling with tears. “I'm almost thirty-five, divorced twice and I have two small children,” she stated nervously but concisely. Secretly she hoped that knowledge alone would be enough to scare him away. She wasn't sure she was ready to date again or allow another man inside her heart and doubted she was even capable of it. Beside, Jay was another musician , she thought, as if the word alone conjured up a fate worse than death.
He nodded. “Well, I’ve never been married and I’m not necessarily looking to do so either. I was merely thinking it might be nice to spend some more time with you. My band plays on the island a few days every week. I was hoping you might like to see me while I’m here. But if you’re not interested…”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that you were…or that I…” She sat down heavily beside him. “There are things about me that you should know before you decide if you want to see me again, that’s all.”
“Like what? Underneath the skirt you’re really a guy,” he teased, sliding an arm loosely around her back.
Annie laughed. “No. I’m not a man.”
Jay smiled. “Well, I’m happy to hear that.”
“Jay, do you know what my last name is?” she asked, her smile fading.
“No.”
“My full name is Annie Logan-Wade.”
He gave her a confused look and shrugged his shoulders, suggesting this new information meant nothing to him.
“My ex-husband is Michael Wade.” She watched his eyes slowly register what she had said. Then he sat back against the bench and Annie’s heart sank.
“ The Michael Wade?” he asked. “From Thrust?”
Annie nodded. “Yes, he’s the father of my two little girls.”
Jay rubbed at his chin. “Is he still a part of your lives?”
“No. I haven’t seen or heard from him since the March music awards in New York City.”
Several minutes passed and then a steady smile crept across his face. “Well, I’m still game if you are, Ms. Annie Logan-Wade. Unless you’re not interested, in which case, I won’t push you.”
Annie smiled, embarrassed. “Yes, I think I’d like to see you again, Mr. Preston.”
He pressed the fingers of her right hand against his mouth. “Well, I’m glad we cleared that up,” he teased. “Because I really would like to see you again.”
She turned around to meet his eyes, her face reflected an uncharacteristic innocence, not the gaze of a woman that had been through hell and back. “It’s been a long time since I’ve dated,” she whispered. “Hell, it’s been a long time since I’ve socialized at all!”
He smiled. “That doesn’t matter to me. No pressure here, Annie. I’m not looking to complicate your life or mine. You look like you could use a friend and that’s all I’m looking for in return.”
She sighed with relief and let her body relax.
Jay was a mixture of a California beach bum with a shoot-from-the-hip charm. He seemed honest, genuine and handsome in a comfortable way, totally at ease with himself. Sitting beside him, Annie felt at peace.
They sat chatting easily like a couple that had known each other for years, and marveled at how much they actually had in common. An hour passed in the blink of an eye before Annie realized how late it had gotten.
“Jay, what if I had said Michael was still in my life, would you still want to see me again?” she asked, when they were almost back to their cars.
He skewed his face as if in pain and exhaled loudly. “Wow, I’m not sure. I mean seriously, I don’t think it would be wise to piss off someone in the business with as much clout as Mike. Do you know what I’m saying?”
Annie nodded.
“But you said he isn’t, right?”
“No, he’s not.”
“Then you must have custody of the kids?”
“He’s never contested it so I guess for now, I do.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s drinking again,” she sighed. “And he knows I won’t allow him to see the girls until he cleans up his act. I’m not sure when or if that will ever happen. But he knows the rules.”
Jay smil
ed and took two steps closer to her until their bodies almost touched. His fingers reached out and seductively danced up the bare skin of her arms and paused at the crest of her shoulders. Then he bent closer and lightly kissed her forehead.
“Annie,” he sighed, shaking his head. “I feel like I’ve known you a long time. I can’t explain why, and, at the risk of sounding like I’m trying to get you into bed, I won’t even try.”
His voice was a low, masculine rumble that vibrated inside Annie’s chest, it soothed and comforted and seemed to draw her in. Effortlessly, she fell against him and tentatively placed her hands against the hard muscles of his arms. He smelled good, not spicy or sweet, but simple and clean like bed sheets after being dried on an outside line. A smile formed on her face and she closed her eyes. “I think I understand what you’re saying,” she replied.
“Are you free tomorrow night or is that too soon?” he asked.
She bent back to meet his gaze and smiled. “No, that sounds fine.”
Over the next several days, Jay became a somewhat permanent fixture at the beach house. He enjoyed the girls’ company, helped with the meal preparations and, when the children were napping, passed the hours with conversation that tremendously deepened their growing friendship. They kissed, they cuddled and, although she sensed he wanted something more, he never pushed her for it.
Four days later, Dara stopped by the house. “Well, you and Jay seem to be hitting it off,” she winked.
Annie quickly blushed. “He’s a nice guy,” she answered.
“So, are you sleeping with him?” Dara asked, poking an elbow into Annie’s ribcage.
“No! We’re just friends,” Annie protested.
“You mean, ‘not yet’.”
“I mean no, we’re not, and I’m not sure I want to.”
“What's that supposed to mean? Have you really looked at Jay? He's gorgeous!”
“Yes, he is but…I’m not sure I want to spoil what we have now. Besides…Oh, never mind. You’d never understand.”
“Besides what?”
Annie rolled her eyes not wanting to continue the present conversation although the look on Dara’s face told her that an answer was necessary.
“I don't get that feeling , you know, that vibe that gives you goosebumps when a man touches you. It feels like there's something missing.”
“I think you’ve been reading too many romance novels,” Dara commented.
Annie plunked herself down at the kitchen table. “When I was with Michael, all he had to do was look at me from across the room and my knees went to jelly,” she said with quiet reflection.
Dara reached across the table and slapped Annie’s wrist. “Jay isn’t Michael and you should be damn happy about that.”
Annie withdrew her hand sharply. “I am!”
“Then, stop comparing the two! What you had with Michael was very powerful and probably something you’ll never feel for another man again. It self-combusted before your eyes. You should be glad Jay is different.”
Annie wiped at her cheeks. “I was only using Michael as an example, Dara. I know it’s doubtful I’ll ever feel that same kind of magic again with someone else and that’s so sad. Maybe there’s truth to the saying, you only have one soul mate.”
“Annie, don’t sound so down,” Dara comforted. “You’ll feel love again, I promise. If not with Jay, then with another gorgeous hunk, but you will find someone.”
Annie forced a smile onto her tear stained face. “And God help me if he turns out to be another musician!”
CHAPTER THIRTY
It was the day after Annie’s birthday. She sat at the end of her boat dock, in a low slung beach chair, with Angel napping contentedly in her arms. It was warm and sunny, without the humidity of August. She was dressed in a tiny pair of denim shorts and a bikini bathing suit top, with her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail.
She squinted at the sun and closed her eyes. She thought of her current age and how most would consider the number young in years. But inside, her soul felt amazingly old, like she had the wisdom that came with that of a grandmother.
Quietly, she contemplated the arrival of Jay later in the week and the birthday celebration she knew they’d have. They had been together for nearly three weeks and she was finally starting to think she was ready to take their relationship to the next level. She knew he was ready but still patiently waiting for her. How bad could a summer romance be, she thought? Maybe Jay was exactly what she needed.
She reflected on the phone conversation they had had the previous day and how distressed he seemed at not being able to share her birthday with her. Truth be told, she didn’t see much point in acknowledging the day with him or anyone else. There was nothing to celebrate. In her mind, it was a day like any other.
The sun had reached its crest and had begun its decent from the summer sky but Annie and Angel remained soaking up what remained of the heat. Behind her, Mabel, the nanny, played with Sammi on the beach by the house deck. The tide was easing its way back out to sea while the gulls overhead sang their mournful song. She drew a long heavy breath into her lungs and exhaled slowly. Her life was as it should be, she thought. It was peaceful and calm. Everything she wanted and loved was right there with her. What more could she ask for?
Annie had almost drifted off to sleep when she heard screams of caution coming from the nanny. In an instant, Annie was awake and turned around to face Mabel.
“Annie! Annie! You have company,” the nanny warned. “Do you want me to call the police?”
Every hair on Annie’s body stood on end and goose flesh quickly covered her skin. “Mabel, it’s okay!” she replied, her eyes drifting in the direction of the intruder. Then she cursed silently when the image of the man came into focus. “Take Sammi inside, please,” she instructed. Then she slouched back into her chair.
In mere seconds, the serenity in her life would be gone. She turned to the ocean and braced herself for the unwelcome visitor approaching on the dock. In an act of protection, she covered Angel with her baby blanket, as if trying to conceal her presence. Then she swallowed hard and squeezed her eyes tight together. Every thud of his boots made her heart beat harder. Why was he here? What did he want? Her mind swirled with a thousand questions, creating a vacuum between her ears until it hurt.
Then he was beside her, tall, mysterious, and as handsome as ever. His long hair still brushed the tops of his impressive shoulders and the same chiseled features that had haunted her dreams remained. The paleness of his ice blue eyes were hidden behind dark sunglasses and for that, she was grateful. She had never been able to resist the strength of them. She turned her head toward him and his full, brooding lips eased into a nervous smile. The hard outline of his features melted when her eyes met his. She noticed thin wisps of gray that now framed his face, which only enhanced his natural masculinity. He was aging with grace and she hated him for it.
Her eyes dropped to his chest. The white t-shirt he wore outlined the flatness of his stomach perfectly. His hands were plunged deeply into the pockets of his black jeans. He smelt clean, fresh, and very obviously sober.
“Hi, Annie. Happy birthday,” Michael spoke in a gentle tone.
His voice sounded like the music to a long forgotten song that she was hearing again for the first time in years. She closed her eyes to fight the emotion from racing through her body.
“You’re supposed to arrange visitation through our lawyers,” she replied in broken syllables, without looking at him.
“I know,” he sighed. “But I was afraid if I had warned you I was coming, you wouldn’t have been here.”
“You’re right, I wouldn’t have been,” she answered quickly.
From the corner of her eye, she watched as his head turned to scan the horizon. His jaw was set tight but his body language remained relaxed. She watched the way his jaw muscle tensed in spasm and tired to imagine what was going through his mind. Then her eyes drifted to the soft hollow beneath his chin. She
closed her eyes tightly when the memories came slicing to the front of her brain. She could remember the way his skin tasted, the softness of his throat and face after he was freshly-shaven and the way her lips effortlessly slid across the back of his neck and shoulders.
Then, as if she sensed her mother was losing control, Angel began to coo happily and squirm in Annie’s arms. Hearing the baby noises, Michael’s head snapped around to face Annie. He took two steps back and stood beside them. Then methodically removed his sunglass, folded, and hung them in the collar of his shirt.
“How’s our new little girl?” he asked, bending down at the knee to be at their level.
“Who told you we had a girl?” she asked, her eyes meeting his.
“I called Taylor and she told me.”
Annie shook her head. “You were supposed to call my lawyer.”
He shrugged. “I thought that was too impersonal and I knew Taylor would have the same information.”
“Taylor never mentioned you called.”
“Because I asked her not to.”
A pause fell between them while Annie thought about his comments.
“So, you were the one that sent the pink and white roses and the teddy bear?” she asked, remembering the huge vase that had arrived with no note card.
He nodded and smiled. “Yes, that was me.”
“You shouldn’t have,” she answered with sarcasm, feeling the stress of his closeness.
Michael smiled broadly and offered the baby his index finger to grab. “I heard you called her Angel. I’m glad. Can I see her?” he asked, looking Annie directly in the eye.
For the first time she was hit with the intensity of his gaze. Annie’s mind stopped functioning. For several seconds, he held her with his eyes. Carefully, she folded the blanket back and revealed the baby to him.
“She’s beautiful, just like her mother,” he said, his eyes never leaving Annie.
She turned away sharply. He had no right to speak to her with such intimacy. “It’s incredible to think that something this beautiful could come from a period of time that was so ugly.”