We walk along a wide corridor and climb ten more steps. I’ve been here before. The boys from the Cold Storms MC allowed Gabriel and me to crash in when we got really drunk on one winter evening.
Aurora pushes a white door open and we walk into a narrow hall with white walls. It opens into a room that’s a mix of everything—a bedroom, a living room, a kitchen. Burt ‘Tank’ Tofaun is sitting in a flowery armchair. A cot stands next to him. He wakes up and waves his hand to me.
“Long time no see, Kyle,” Tank says, his voice raspy.
I can smell tobacco from him. He must have had a fag an hour ago. “You’re looking after my wife?”
“After your wife,” he says, rising to his feet, as his old bones click, “and your…” He nods several times as his eyes of a deep brown colour shoot lightning towards me.
My heart stops beating as my glance travels to the cot. I rush towards it and look down. A baby is sleeping inside.
Tank sneaks out of the apartment as Aurora stands beside me.
“His name is Kyle Junior,” Aurora says. “You were gone, and I had to name him, so I decided…”
I feel like I’m falling into a void. “I have a son.”
“He’s three months old.”
“He’s my son.”
“Of course, he’s your son.” There’s anger in Aurora’s voice.
Right. She must hate me, and I don’t even blame her. I married her, made her pregnant and then made her a single mom. That was all because of my morbid curiosity.
“Ravna said…I thought…” Aurora murmurs. “But I have him so…”
“Ravna forgot that the world changed. Everything changed. Wonders happen almost every day.”
Gabriel and Reagan for example. The archangels were never meant to start a family, yet this is happening.
I lean over the cot and pull my son into my arms. He squeaks and flashes me a smile. Yes, a fierce smile. He is a little warrior.
I bury him in my arms as love floods me. A sense of shame floods me. I fucked up. I failed my wife and my son.
“Can I see him from time to time?” I ask.
Aurora’s eyes darken. “Of course. You’re the father.”
“Can we have dinner together? Just you and me?”
“Of course. We should discuss all the arrangements.”
I need to be slow with her now. She’s hurt. Angry. Why would she not be?
I’m gonna seduce her. Make her love me again.
Because she loved me before I abandoned her, right?
Aurora
My heart crumbles into pieces. I bore his son.
But he doesn’t want me.
He hasn’t asked me to be his wife again or to go back to the Salvation Ghosts’ clubhouse with him. He must think I’m ugly and worthless.
Kyle Junior needs him, so I’m going to make our contacts as nice as possible.
“I could take him out for a walk tomorrow,” Cael says.
“Sure. At four?”
“At four.”
“Then Uriel could babysit him, and we could have dinner together.”
“Sure. I’m off tomorrow.”
He kisses the baby’s head and lays him in the cot. “See you tomorrow then.”
“See you.”
He bows his head and walks off.
Tears blind me.
No, I can’t allow myself to cry. My son needs a good and strong mother. I smooth a hand over the blanket wrapped around his tiny body and go to the kitchen to tidy it up. My apartment must always shine so that Cael will never think I’m untidy. He may want to take my son away from me if he thinks I’m not a good mother. That would be worse than being in the shadows.
Cael
I tumble into the clubhouse, and I can’t recall my way. I bounce off Gabriel.
“You okay?” he asks.
“I need a drink.”
Uriel tumbles into the bar. He grabs my shoulder.
“You made her cry, you fucking dick,” Uriel rumbles.
Rage fills my veins. I sweep my arm and punch him in the face. Blood gushes from his nose. He punches me back and stars twirl in my head.
“Out, you two,” Raphael rumbles behind me. “There are children in here, you morons.”
Gabriel shoves me towards the exit. I jerk my body back and shove Uriel. We clash. Raphael and Gabriel throw themselves at us and the four of us tumble down the stairs.
“You fucking touch my wife again, and I kill you,” I roar.
“Nobody’s gonna touch her,” Uriel rumbles. “Nobody has. I watch over her. For you, you fucking dick.”
I sweep my arm, but I punch nothing. “She is in love with you.”
“She’s the fuck what?” Uriel snaps.
“She didn’t want to talk to me,” I say. “And she doesn’t want me to be her husband.”
“I’m only a friend to her, you psycho,” Uriel says, sounding pissed off. “I’d never lay my hands on my brother’s wife.”
I sit down with my legs splayed as blood gushes from my nose and stains my jeans.
“So why doesn’t she want to be my wife any longer?” I yell.
Reagan stands on the third step with her baby against her chest. “I can talk to her.”
“Cael will deal with that,” Gabriel says. “Don’t worry about anything, baby. Go back to the bar.”
I see her grit her teeth, but she says nothing. I think Gabriel is too possessive about her, trying to shelter her from almost everything. Reagan disappears behind the door as he follows her.
“Have a drink, Cael,” Uriel says. “We’ll try to fix this.”
“But how?” I growl.
“Gabriel knows everything on the relationship,” Raphael says. “He’ll know what to do.”
Raised voices come to my ears. Right. Gabriel and Reagan are arguing and their kids start crying. Raphael grabs his own head in both his hands as Uriel grins.
“Home sweet home,” Uriel says.
I rise to my feet, go to the bathroom to wash my face and enter the bar. I grab Gabriel’s daughter as Uriel grabs his son.
“We’re taking the kids to the garden,” Uriel says as we exchange glances, “so you two can talk. As two normal people would talk, okay?”
Reagan and Gabriel shoot him dark glances. I sneak out and Uriel follows me.
“So, you like being an uncle?” I ask as I put Lily into the sandpit.
Uriel rocks the baby in the crook of his arm. “It’s funny and makes you want something more in life.”
Lily throws a handful of sand at me. Uriel looks at her sternly and she drops her head.
“Solly,” she squeaks and squats down.
Yes, Uriel is the darkest, the most brooding of us all, and it seems like he is a very good influence on Lily.
“Aurora,” I start.
“She never talks much.” He drops onto the bench and lays the baby Lucas on his lap. “We watched her for a few months, but it was clear that your bond fixed everything. She was so sad while she was around Reagan and Gabriel that I decided to show her the Happy Stars Bar.”
“She seems to be happy in there.”
“She’s not happy, Cael. Fix this. You two deserve happiness.”
My jaw drops open. Uriel has never been that emotional. My eyes sweep over the baby on his lap. Yes, being an uncle did him really good.
“Who would think?” Uriel says. “And the funniest thing is that we all enjoy this shit.”
Lily looks at him and scrunches up her nose. “Bad Uli.”
“Build your sandcastle,” Uriel says and Lily shudders. Lucas squeaks and he pulls the baby to his chest, joy shining in his dark eyes. He looks at me. “I’ll teach him how to hold the sword, you know.”
“Lily swold,” Lily says.
“Alright,” Uriel says. “We’ll get back to this conversation in ten years, you little green rat.”
Fucking hell. We’re really old.
Chapter 20
Aurora
He comes ten
minutes earlier than the time we agreed. He’s wearing a black shirt and a silver tie. His hair shines like my mirror and he smells of sea and freedom.
I put my son into the pram and Cael takes him outside the clubhouse for a walk. My whole being turns into sad greyness. I wish we could go for a walk as a family would.
I perch on the bed and freeze. A second is an hour. Or hours are seconds. My son’s crying tears me out of my numbness. Cael walks into the apartment with Kyle in his arms as Uriel follows them with the pram in his hands.
My son must be hungry. I take him over from Cael and settle myself into the armchair. With my breast exposed, I feed my son. Cael is watching me with dark eyes. I’m sure he wants to know whether I can take care of his son properly, so I do my best. He lowers and sits on the floor, cross-legged. Soft suckling sounds travel through the air. My son drops off to sleep. I lay him into the cot and pull a chunky teal cardigan on. My wardrobe is filled with chunky cardigans, scarves, and gloves. With woollen socks, warm boots, and winter coats. This is my only addiction—hoarding warm clothing.
“I’m ready,” I say.
Cael
I offer her my elbow, and she loops her arm through mine. Everything pulsates within me, drums in a hot primal rhythm. I fucking want to bend her over the table and fuck her raw. Uriel grins as our glances meet.
My eyes sweep over her profile. She is so beautiful, her little nose so cute, her lips so tempting. The red dress she’s wearing matches her hair colour. Her eyes radiate sadness. Her whole being exudes sadness. What the fuck am I doing wrong? Maybe I shouldn’t touch her at all?
We exit the apartment, and I release her. She walks down the stairs as I follow her. Her tantalising smell clouds my mind.
We cross the bar and the boys from the Cold Storms rumble like a horde of ancient lions. Aurora hugs herself and picks up the pace. We exit the bar, and I gesture for her to jump onto my bike.
One of the Atlantids passes me as our glances meet for a split second. If I remember correctly, his name is Wuylir and he’s an honorary member of the Cold Storms MC. Two humans are accompanying him, two humans that shouldn’t be here. None of my business these days. Two decapitated Atlantids from three years ago are none of my business either. There must have been a good reason for Wuylir or someone else to get rid of them.
I hold a hand out for Aurora and she sits on my bike. Her eyes wander off and that pisses me off. Why is this so difficult? So ridiculous?
I settle myself in front of her and her arms wrap around my waist. Her thighs are pressed against my butt. It feels good.
I start the engine, and Aurora shudders. She clings to me like her life depends on it. I rev up the engine and my wife is plastered to me like we’re one body. A damn very good feeling.
One of Wuylir’s companions walks out of the bar, a Tadarid. He flashes me a grin.
“The grandpas from the club will die of a heart attack,” he says in Italian. A cigar is stuck in his mouth. He moves closer to me as a grey cloud scented with expensive tobacco circles around me. “Vahan,” he says and we shake hands.
“Kyle,” I say. I turn to Aurora. “My wife.”
“I’ve seen her here,” Vahan says and drops the cigar, crushing it under his boot. He lays his hand on my shoulder as his blue eyes burn like he’s a wolf. “The wife’s place is always by her husband, son.”
Fucking hell. He is a boy to me. I look into him and see Samael’s job. The world has changed indeed.
“You know Samael?” I ask.
“Samael is my son-in-law,” Vahan says. “I’ll say your hello to him.”
I’m speechless. The Tadarids don’t know about our existence and this one seems to know who I really am.
Vahan bends and picks up the cigar, disposing of it into a bin.
He nods several times and steps into the bar.
Aurora
We roar through the centre of Windam and stop in front of a building that looks like it used to accommodate stables two, three centuries ago. Vahan’s words are still lingering in my mind. I like him. I like his wife, Alyssa, even more. She’s been to the Happy Stars Bar four times.
Cael jumps off and helps me slide from his bike. We move towards a metal gate that’s guarded by two white statues. They resemble Greek sculptures. A gravel path leads us inside the restaurant. I stop in the doorway, overwhelmed by the richness of the interior. Three crystal chandeliers cast a bright light onto the parquet floor. A piano stands on the platform seated in a round niche. Golden ornamentation adorns the upper and the lower edges of the walls as canvases in heavy frames and round mirrors hang on them.
We sit at a round table dressed in burgundy and white. Cael passes the menu to me.
“Can you order?” I squeak.
“You don’t like this place?”
“It’s too—“
“Too much.”
“I prefer simple things.”
“So do I.”
Cael grabs my wrist and drags me out of the restaurant. We hide behind a wheelie bin and his wings appear from his back. A shimmery white aura envelops us. I blink and we’re on a beach between two rock formations. Shiny seaweed of a dark green colour layers them.
Cael pulls me towards metal stairs that open into a caravan site. We walk along a path, passing trees and caravans until a small chip shop rises in front of us. A low stone wall encircles it. Cael pushes me towards it, so I sit down and watch him order the food for us. He returns to me with two paper boxes in his hands and passes one of them to me. I put it on my lap and open it. The smell of chips and cod makes my mouth water.
“So,” Cael starts, “the arrangements.”
“Yes.” I almost choke. Why doesn’t he want me to be a wife to him? “I work twice a week so you could look after Kyle then.”
“Sure. What about the weekends? Maybe we could go to the playground, the three of us?”
“It’s a good idea.”
We eat in silence. It’s a suffocating silence. The food is delicious, but every bit feels like a lump in my throat.
“Would you like to go for a walk, Aurora?”
“It’s a good idea.” I close the box and dispose of it into a bin.
We walk along the path back to the beach and then along the cliff. I notice a chapel that perches on the rock shelf.
“Can we step inside?” I ask.
“Sure.”
We climb the steps chiselled in rock and enter the chapel. Candles burn inside as their flickers create a dim aura scented with incense. I drop into a bench and cross myself. Cael sits down beside me. The smell of wax and old stone settles in my nostrils.
“Where is God, Cael?”
“Everywhere. In you. In me. In animals. In plants.”
“Can we meet him like we met Ravna?”
“I don’t remember, Aurora.”
Chapter 21
Cael
I don’t remember the Past. It wasn’t me. Now, I am me. My brothers and I know we lived in heaven, but it’s like a fairy tale, not even a memory. I don’t know where heaven is or what it looks like. We’re the Salvations Ghosts MC—a bunch of simple guys who want to live a simple life. We’re humans. The only difference between them and us is that we have wings and that we’re immortal. Our inner archangels are hidden deep in our subconscious minds. We don’t want them. We don’t need them.
We sometimes say them about our inner archangels and us when we talk about our present life.
Now, I want my wife to give me a sign that she wants the same—a simple life with me. But she’s mute and distant.
“I feel good in churches,” she finally murmurs. “I feel at peace in here. Like everything I did has been forgotten. Forgiven.”
My poor sweet Aurora. She still feels guilty. She’s a kind and good person who should forget about her past as we forgot about it.
My hand searches for hers, and our fingers lace together. Our eyes meet.
“Come back to me,” I rasp. “I can’t live without you. I
love you so much.”
Her eyes widen and fill up with tears. “But I thought—“
“I love you, Aurora.” I bring her hand up to my lips and kiss her knuckles. “Please, baby. You’re my life. Come back to me.” Tears trickle down from the corners of my eyes. “You and Kyle are my life. I will do anything. You hear me? Anything.”
“You’re doing enough.”
“Not enough for you to love me. Please, give me a chance.”
She nods several times. “Okay. Take us to the Salvation Ghosts’ clubhouse.”
Her glassy eyes say it all. I’m loved. I’m the happiest man in the universe.
I kiss her temple. “Let’s go.”
A streak of grey fog slithers around me and forms a cloud. The hairs on my back rise. A wave of neutral energy washes over me. The fog thickens, plasters me, and obscures my vision. I pull Aurora to me, but she feels different. She feels more primal. The fog thins, slithers aside, and I sweep my eyes over my surroundings. I’m sitting at a low table with my wife in my arms. Ravna is sitting next to me in the company of Coyote. We’re on the beach where I took Aurora for my wife.
“What the fuck?” I growl.
Coyote raises his hands. “I can explain.”
“You’d better,” I say. “Or I’ll twist the bitch’s neck.”
Ravna shudders as I draw my wife even closer to me and shelter her with my arms.
“I feel so guilty,” Ravna sobs. “I’m so sorry.”
I stifle the urge to punch her in the face. I’ve never hit a woman, but Ravna might be my first time. “You’re sorry, you bitch?”
“Yes, I’m sorry,” Ravna says.
“I’m gonna reconstruct it,” Coyote says.
“You’re gonna do the fuck what?” I growl. “You can’t reconstruct anything.”
“I can’t listen to Ravna’s hysteria for certain,” Coyote says and grins at me.
“You can’t do this, brother,” I say. “You know this.”
He smoothes a hand over the sand and Ravna holds his hand, guiding him. They draw a few circles with his forefinger. I feel like something is taken off me. Like a delicate veil has slid off my shoulders.
“Done,” Coyote says and grins.
“There’ll be consequences,” I say.
“There’re always consequences,” Coyote says. “Enjoy your marriage, brother.” He threads his fingers through his short brown hair as his amber eyes burn with joy.
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