by J Peach
I just stared at him before I shook my head. I wasn’t about to get back into that with him. Especially now that I knew it was a whole misunderstanding. Blaze was such a fuckin’ dick. Hopeless.
But he was right about one thing, and it was time for me to humble myself and admit it. “You know what, Blaze, you're right. What I did was foul. I admit that now. But at the time I didn’t care. I knew doing that with him would piss you off and hurt you. That’s the only reason I did it. I’m sorry for that.”
Blaze simply nodded his head; he seemed to be thinking about something.
Nothing else was said on the subject as we walked back into the house. Once we made it through the door, Blaze suddenly picked me up before we made it to the living room.
“Blaze, put me down.”
“N’all, you a smart ass chick, boss, you is. Fo’real, though, be straight with me. I fuck’d up I know that but will we ever be right again?” he asked seriously.
“I’m here, ain't I?” That stupid giddiness started to form in the pit of my stomach.
Blaze shook his head. “You know that’s not what I talkin’ ‘bout, Peaches. I’m talkin’ ‘bout us.”
That was hard to answer. Like so many times before I done saw a man come to this point of realization, knowing they’ve fuck’d up and wanting their girl back.
Yeah they’ll be good for a month or two but then it’s right back to the dumb shit.
“I can’t answer that because I don’t know right now. B, I can’t say yes. You have to see it from my standpoint. How do I know you’re serious this time?”
Before he could respond I answered for him. “I don’t. You’ve proven and told me on more than one occasion that you’re basically going to do you, no matter what. To be honest, I don’t wanna get hurt again and until I know you’re serious, I’m not going to think about us being together. I meant what I said when I walked out of that office. Yeah, you told me later on that night but my mind was made up when I left.
“You know I’ll always love you and there’s no hard feelings between us, me being here says that. But I have to protect myself. I don’t wanna feel the way I did when we took that break. I don’t like feeling weak. So, no, I have to know you’re a hundred percent serious before thinking about us again.” I hoped he understood and wouldn't go the fuck off on my ass in here.
He licked those full lips of his before his head bobbed up then down.
Letting out a silent breath, I waited for him to go off. But, to my surprise, he didn't.
“I can respect that. It’s my fault. I fuck’d up so I’mma own that, but don’t think this mean we done. You the first mothafucka to ever call me on my shit, the first I let in, but I fuck’d up. I was a dummy, yo. I shouldn’t have let you walk but a nigga was stuck with the shit you said. You know how I feel about you but my business, what I do, is a different thing. But I’mma show yo ass, though. I’m serious as fuck. I’m fool ass nigga for fuckin’ our shit up. You was real with me, still is. I’mma make that shit up, though. Not saying tomorrow you won’t be a bitch or some other shit but I ain’t perfect, never gon’ be. But I gotda remember that this hard, tough woman you are, is still an emotional ass bitch—”
Hitting him, I was about to snap at him but he started talkin’ again.
“I’m bullshittin’ about the bitch thing but on everything I’mma try to do better. I ain’t perfect, though, just remember that. I love yo ass, man, so I’mma try, i’ight?” Blaze was so late for everything. Why did some drastic shit have to happen before men realized their mistakes?
Why this couldn’t be done three, four— hell a month ago?
Why did he have to be such a late bloomer with this relationship thing?
Better yet, why was I such a fuckin’ sucker for him?
I didn’t have an answer for any of my questions. Even if I did, I wasn’t willing to answer them because it’d only make me feel stupid to blame my feelings on love, which was the only reason for the third why.
“You a fool ass nigga, I like that. Blaze, I can’t make promises I know I can’t keep and I don’t wanna hurt you.” With Jerron back in the picture I didn’t want to give hope where hope shouldn’t go because from now until the future, I don’t know where I’d be with Jerron.
What if our thing turned into something more? I didn’t want to play with either man nor hurt them but I couldn’t promise to be with either without hurting the other.
I knew myself and my lack of self-control when it came to either of them.
We couldn’t just be alone without some form of sex coming into play.
So right now I wasn’t rushing to date Blaze or Jerron because I knew myself and there wasn’t a guarantee I’d be faithful to either of them.
“I guess I’ll have to accept that fah now until we both right,” conceded Blaze.
This new, non-jealous, understanding persona was umm kinda turning me on. Because Blaze wasn't sure understanding. He was this mean, rough asshole I wanted to shoot most of the time. The person right here, though, I didn’t know who the hell he was.
The regret in his eyes as he talked about making things right was touching. Sincerity was all I saw and I knew he wasn’t playing. But, now that he wanted to be serious it was still too late.
Because now I couldn't be trusted.
I think he knows that.
“Does Blaze love Peaches?” I asked softly.
Blaze started laughing as soon as those words left my mouth. “Why you tryna steal my shit?”
I smiled at him as my arms wrapped around his neck. “Why you not answering my question?” I asked. Instead Blaze’s head lowered to mine. “Blaze—”
“Why you wanna play with me?” His lips brushed against mine with every word. That’s how close he was to me.
Blaze was slick and I was dumb when it came to him. That’s why it was so hard to trust what he said. Blaze could look so sincere and me being the dummy I am would easily miss his telltales.
“I wanna hear you say it, tell me you love me.” My tongue touched his mouth as I licked my lips.
“You know I got a room here,” he mumbled against my lips.
A small laugh left my mouth. “I bet you do. Now tell me you love me.” Without warning, I was being turned around to Blaze’s front while my thighs where placed in each one of his hands. I was pressed against the wall next to the front door. “Blaze—” His hands slid to my ass as he pushed more into me.
“I love you.” Blaze ended it with his lips covering mine.
Opening my mouth for him, his tongue found mine and just like every time before they started their own sexual dance as did Blaze’s hands and my hips.
The sexual tension that had built quickly got interrupted as the front door was suddenly opened, hitting Blaze in the back a little too hard and making our teeth bump and my head hit the wall.
“Ow,” I whined, rubbing the back of my head.
“Damn!” Blaze cussed.
“Why y’all behind the door?” Marcus asked, looking around at us.
Talk about embarrassing.
“Damn, Marcus! Don’t yo ass know how to knock?” My head went to the side of Blaze’s neck to hide my reddened face.
“Not in my own damn house I don’t need to. Y’all asses shouldn’t be behind the damn door anyway, caking and shit.”
“Marcus take yo old ass on somewhere,” Blaze said, laughing.
“Peaches, you not speaking?” Marcus asked.
I didn’t want to look at him because I could hear it in his voice he was grinning like an immature idiot. Pulling away from Blaze, I looked at him and just started laughing at his cheeky smile.
“Hey, Marcus. Blaze put me down.” I whispered the last bit to him. He didn’t seem like he wanted to but with a groan he did anyways. Pushing Blaze back, I walked around him to give Marcus a hug. “We weren’t caking we were simply talking, that’s what you walked in on.” I corrected.
“So, I ain’t hear the L word being said? Shid, I th
ought it was Britt and that little nigga that be coming over here. I was trying to knock his damn back out with the door. Then, I was gon' claim it was an accident.”
I was slightly shocked but then again it was expected from a father.
“That’s why yo ass threw the damn door so hard.” Blaze complained while rubbing his lower back.
The nigga can get stabbed with a pen and don’t feel shit but hit his ass with a door knob and he complaining.
I needed to find out where they got that damn knob from.
Chapter 11
Peaches
The little head peeking around the corner had me leaving the men in the hallway to go to Blake.
“What are you doing?” I picked him up and placed him on my hip. I walked back into the living room and sat on the couch.
“I want my toys,” Blake said while grabbing my purse, opening it.
“I’ll send your dad out to get some of your toys, okay? You didn’t want to play on your game no more?” I asked.
Blake shook his head pointing toward Bianca. “She won’t let me play.” He took his juice box out my purse and handed it to me before getting his Cheetos.
My purse had quickly became Blake’s snack bag without me even knowing.
“Open it.” He pulled the straw from the box and handed it to me then popped open his bag of chips.
Laughing at him, I opened his juice. “Can I have some?” I asked.
Blake nodded while putting a chip in his mouth. “You want some of my chips?”
My poor heart was just putty when I looked at this kid. “No thank you, sweetie, here.” Pretending to drink some of his juice, I handed it to him before looking at Blaze. “Hey, he wants some toys to play with since your moms’ hogging his tablet. Can you go get his truck, the small ones?” I clarified as Blake perked up when I mentioned truck. “Bring in the blocks too, he’ll play with those. You want your blocks?” Blake nodded excitedly as he continued to crunch on his chips.
“Who is this?” Marcus asked, looking at Blake.
“Our grandbaby. Blaze trifling ass done got some girl pregnant, two almost three years ago and just now finding out she had his baby,” Bianca answered. “He looks just like Boon’s ass, and got a mouth like him too.” She looked at Blake. “You don’t wanna play the game with nana no more?” Bianca asked him while walking toward us with the tablet in her hands.
Blake moved even closer to me tucking himself once again in my side acting like he was shy. When I knew he wasn’t.
“You don’t wanna play with your grandma?” I asked him.
“No.” He shook his head.
Glancing at Bianca, she was mugging me hard. “What?” I asked not knowing why she was giving me that look. “What I do?”
“Don’t sit yo ass there tryna act innocent. You got my baby under that spell you got his daddy under,” she accused, not looking happy at all.
“Bianca, I don’t have him under no spell. He just has to get used to you, is all.”
“Used to me? He just met you today. So, he’s used to you already?” She snapped at me.
My mouth opened then closed not knowing how to answer. “I don’t know, okay.”
“Bianca, leave her alone,” Marcus told her as he stood in front of us holding his hand out. “What’s up, little man? Do you know how to box?” Marcus asked playfully punching at the air.
“Yeah, hold this.” Blake gave me his juice and chips then got up. “See?” Once that word left his mouth, a grunt left Marcus’ as he hunched over and Blake punched him in the stomach so I thought. “I’m good.” Blake praised.
Marcus nodded, replying in a strained voice. “Yeah, you real good.”
My hand was over my mouth as my eyes bulged out of their sockets.
“Marcus, he’s so sorry. He doesn’t know any better.” Blake had punched Marcus in the nuts, by him being so short he couldn’t help where his fist landed. “Blake, tell Marcus you’re sorry,” I directed.
“No, it’s cool. I should’ve kneeled down. Damn, little man got a swing.” Marcus said still hunched over with his hands on his knees, breathing deeply.
“What’s wrong with you, Marcus?” Blaze asked finally coming in the house with a couple of bags of toys.
“Blake hit him in the privates,” I said.
Blaze started laughing. “Man, yo ass gon’ be down fah a minute. He got my ass earlier. What you do to him?” he asked, chuckling and slapping Marcus on the back.
“Marcus asked if he could box. That’s not funny, Blaze.” Hitting him, I took a bag and handed it to Blake. “Here, look through inside and get what toys you wanna play with.”
He didn’t have to be told twice as he grabbed the bag and poured everything out and just started opening stuff.
***
It was cute watching Blake play with everything. He’d push the truck around then leave that alone to play with his Buzz Light Year action figure for a bit. Then he was running Buzz over with his truck and knocking blocks down as he went.
“I can’t believe you have a kid and I have a grandbaby. Peaches, you lucky because within a year I was expecting one whether you two was together or not. I had given up hope on Blaze and kids when he was twenty.” Bianca explained, making me laugh.
***
For the next two hours, we all sat around eating and talking. Bianca had made mac and cheese, greens, cornbread and baked pork chops.
After feeding Blake, he was off to playing again. Everyone except Britt was having a fun time talking and laughing. For some reason her and Blake couldn’t get along, so she left out.
All in all, everybody was excited about the new addition to the family. Marcus and Blake hit it off pretty good, better than he did with Bianca. Even Blaze loosened up about Blake being around.
It was a good look on Blaze, seeing him smiling and laughing with his son. Watching the two interact, I wouldn’t have thought they’d spent two years not knowing one other.
It was an amazing sight to see such a hardcore ass nigga like Blaze actually being gentle. He was actually playing with blocks and trucks. He even shot Buzz with his finger gun. It was so cute seeing Blaze with his guard down.
Finally getting off the floor, Blaze came and sat next to me. Blake stayed on the floor playing with his blocks. I glanced down at my phone to see the time, it was 10:15pm. I didn’t want the day to end and found myself letting out a sigh before tapping Blaze’s arm.
“B, it’s late and I need to get back.” I whispered to him. He rubbed a hand over his face, but he didn’t argue.
“I’ight. Ma, can you look after Blake for a minute while I go drop her off?” Bianca nodded, flicking through the channels as she and Marcus cuddled on the loveseat. They were so cute to me.
Blake was distracted so I hurriedly took his juice and chips out my purse and sat them on the couch then pushed my strap up my shoulder. But once we stood up, those light brown eyes of his were on us and he was on his feet.
“I wanna go. Can I come?” Blake asked.
“I’ll be back to get you after I drop Peaches off at home, i’ight, little dude?” Blaze explained. He moved away from him and came to me.
“Can I come to you house, please?”
Mentally awing, I picked him up. “Baby, not today but next time you can come with me. I promise, okay?” I tried bargaining with him but he wasn’t going for that as he put those eyes and face to work with a heart-melting. sad pout.
“No, please can I come to you house, I’ll be good, please?” he asked with a sniffle.
“Sweetie, you can’t, not today.”
“I’mma cry.” That had me laughing.
“Baby, don’t cry. How about you stay the night with your dad, then I’ll come pick you up tomorrow and you can stay the night with me?” Blake didn’t like that either. He wanted to come with me tonight. “Blake, your dad wants you to stay with him tonight,” I tried to explain.
Blaze nodded his agreement. “Yeah, I want you to stay with me tonight.�
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“You can come to her house too,” Blake suggested, which caused Blaze to laugh.
“N’all, little man, I can’t do that. Come on, go sit with my mom until I come back,” Blaze said, trying to grab him.
“No!” Blake screamed, grabbing a tighter hold on me, which in turned caused his nails to dig into the back of my neck as he held on. Blaze did not see the nail grip hold he had on me and continued to pull at Blake which caused his nails to dig deeper into my skin making it hurt more.
“Ow, ow, ow, Blaze! Let him go!” Of course, Blaze didn’t listen.
“Blake, stop playing and let her go, now?” Blaze snapped at him but Blake paid it no mind as he continued to cry and claw into my neck.
***
“Yeah, I’m sorry. Believe me, I want to be there, but something came up. I promise, I’ll be there tomorrow after I go to my rehearsal. I’m coming there straight after,” I said.
“Peaches, it’s cool, stop apologizing. You just make sho yo ass here naked tomorrow,” replied Blaze in an uncompromising tone.
Laughing, I nodded. “I semi promise to do that.”
“Can I talk?” Blake asked, coming to sit in front of me. “Who is that?”
Yep, he was most definitely Blaze’s kid. After one day, his little butt was already screening my calls.
“My friend,” I answered before getting back on the phone.
“Who is that?” Ron asked.
“I’m kinda babysitting. He wouldn’t let me leave, so I’m here with him for the night. That’s why I couldn’t make it.” I explained, Jerron hummed and was quiet for a second. “Hey, I’m about to get him off to bed, so I’ll call you back in the morning.”
“Okay,” he said without further comment. Leaving it at that, we hung up the phone.
I looked at Blake and asked him, “Why aren’t you in bed?”
“I’m not sleepy,” he quickly replied.