A Dangerous Love 6: A Thug's Heart

by J Peach

  He found the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head then grabbed the basketball shorts along with my panties, taking them off. After pulling off his shirt, Blaze hovered over me, his eyes locked with mine. Leaning forward, he kissed me again but before I could react he pulled back.

  “You still love me?”

  Chapter 29

  Peaches

  Blaze asked the one question I really didn’t want to hear at that moment. I honestly didn’t want to hear him talk at all.

  I grabbed his shoulders and lifted myself up trying to bring my lips back to his but he pulled away.

  “Answer the question. Do you?”

  Why was he doing this? Why couldn’t he just fuck me already and get it over with? I just wanted to feel something other than what I was feeling.

  My hands went to his jeans.

  “You know I do—” He pushed my hands way from his jeans. My eyes rolled and I tried to push him off of me. “Move, Blaze. I’m not about to play with you.”

  “Kill that shit! I ain’t gon’ let you use me ‘cause you pissy? Shut the fuck up and answer the damn question.”

  My brows rose. Who the fuck he think he’s talkin’ to?

  Blaze must have read my facial expression. “Yo ass Peaches Monique Johnson is who I’m talkin’ to. What you gon’ do?” he said, glaring down at me. He looked like he was ready to choke me. “You gon’ kick this shit? It’s been four months, yo. Bae, you gotda let that shit go.”

  My head jerk back at his words. How could he say some bullshit like that?

  “How the fuck can I let that go? I’ve been trying to forget about it, but how the fuck can I when yo ass in my fuckin’ face every second reminding me of it? You probably didn’t want the baby and even though I wasn’t ready I still wanted it! You gon’ tell me to let it go? Fuck you, Blaze. I fuckin’ hate you.

  “Let it go? Seriously, let it go? I’m not you, Blaze. My heart isn’t made of fuckin’ stone. If I could make myself forget, then I would but I can’t! It hurts.” It felt like barbwire were wrapped around my heart, squeezing at it painfully.

  I just felt so cheated. I didn’t even have a chance and it was just taken away from me. I wanted to forget. I just didn’t know how to.

  Blaze pulled me up to him before laying down on the bed with me on top of him. His left hand rubbed along my back, up my neck, then back down to my ass and then up again while the other hand rubbed into my head massaging my scalp. My arms slipped underneath his back and I held onto him as I silently cried.

  Inside I was screaming but on the outside, not a word left my mouth, only tears fell from my eyes.

  “My heart ain’t stone when it comes to you, yo ass should know that by now. Peach, believe me, I wanted you to have my shorty, so don’t even think no shit like that. I was fuck’d up about it but I let that shit go because it just wasn’t our time. I get you hurting behind this, Peach, but you gotda let it go.

  “Crying ain’t gon’ turn back the clocks, baby girl. So, stop crying and blaming yo’self, you hear me?” When I didn’t answer, he grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled my head back until we locked eyes. “You hear me?” After sniffing a few times, I nodded my head yes. Lifting his head up, he pecked my lips twice. “I love you, i’ight?”

  To hear Blaze willingly say those words always brought a smile to my lips and a blush to my cheeks.

  I’m starting to think he knew this, which was why he said it so often.

  “I love you, too.” I whispered, kissing him then burying my head into the side of his neck

  “Peaches, stop crying. You gon’ be good. So, stop that and dry yo face. I promise I got you. Next time around, I’mma have yo ass pushing out triplets.”

  My eyes rolled at that last bit as a small laugh left my mouth.

  Blaze’s hand soon came down on my ass. “Roll ‘em again.”

  “Aw, stop, that hurt.” I mumbled, while pinching him.

  “What you gon’ do if I don’t?” When I didn’t answer, his hand came down on my ass once again but harder. “Gotdamn!” Blaze shouted excitedly.

  “You son of a bitch, that shit sting.” I snapped, hitting him.

  “Yo shit jiggled, bet my hand print on that ass now. You know I like a red ass.” Blaze grabbed a handful of my booty, squeezing it before he spread my cheeks. “You think you can ride?”

  I tried to keep my face fixed into a mean glare, keeping my eyes squinted as I stared at him hard but that playful smile on his lips warmed my heart.

  “No, my ass hurt. You play to damn much.” My lips pursed tightly together as I tried harder to keep up this façade.

  “Is that a smile I see?” he asked.

  I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. “No.” Lie. I bit the inside of my bottom lip to keep my straight face, one he saw right through.

  “Shid, if I knew playing with yo ass would’ve got you smiling, then my hands would’ve been on yo booty.”

  That did it for me. The smile stretched across my lips as a laughed slipped from my mouth. “You are so stupid.” My smile dimmed a bit as I stared at him seriously. “Thanks for this. I should’ve been said something to you about how I was feeling. It was just so hard especially with Blake being around. It just made me feel worse because I kept picturing how ours would’ve been. I should’ve known you wasn’t going to be that nice about me being in my funk for too long and I’m glad you wasn’t. I do have to let it go, I just don’t know how.” A sigh left my mouth as I reached over grabbing my shirt.

  “So, you good?” Blaze asked as I put on my shirt. Nodding my head yes, I got off of his lap.

  “As good as I can be right now. I’ll be straight, though. Just remember you owe me so when the time comes, so when I hand you a little container and a playboy magazine—”

  Blaze cut me off with a laugh. “Fuck outda here with that bullshit. When you come calling, I’mma have your ass in the air with my dick all in yo guts. That’s the only way you gon’ get my nut.”

  “Shut up.” I laughed before getting serious again. “So, you cool with us just being friends because I just wanna focus on Blake, school and work, that’s it.”

  Standing up, Blaze pulled on his shirt before running a hand over his head then licking his lips. “Shid, I ain’t got a choice. Do I? I’m saying as long as I can still slide through, get some blow and hit, we good.”

  Typical Blaze, I swear. I didn’t bother answering him as I slid on my panties and shorts. “Call your momma and let her know I’m on my way to get Blake.”

  Blaze followed me out the guest room and back into the living room.

  “Hey, can you get Blake’s bike out the garage and put it in the truck for me, please.” I asked while straightening up the living room, just now realizing how messy it really was. Blake had toys everywhere with clothes slung over the couch. My lack of cleaning reflected the depressed state I’d been in since finding out I had miscarried.

  I know my hurt wasn’t going to go away overnight but Blaze was right. It wasn’t our time, that’s the only way I can look at it now.

  “Where y’all going?” Blaze asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

  “I’ve been promising to take him to the park for a while now so I’mma make a day out of it. I’m going to pack us some lunch then take him to Wicker Park to ride his bike.” Picking up the last truck from off of the floor, I put it in the toy box that sat on the side of the couch.

  “Wicker Park? That’s about forty-five minutes away, right?” he asked.

  I covered my mouth as a yawn slipped out. I nodded my head. “Yeah, it’s a nice big family park. Why?” Blaze’s humming caused me look at him with a questioning stare.

  “No reason.”

  I knew his ass was lying.

  “You want to come with? I can throw you some beef, cheese and mustard sandwiches together.” Blaze stood there as if he was thinking about it, smacking my lips I walked off. “I’ll make yo sandwiches. Don’t forget to put Blake’s bike in the truck. I’ll be back
in a minute.” Blaze laughed before calling my name. “What?”

  “Which truck you driving?”

  Why the hell I have to drive? “It doesn’t matter.” With that, I ran up the stairs to shower and get ready.

  ***

  “You looking good, sweetie. You’re getting your glow back.” Bianca hugged me tightly. “I told you it’ll get better. Hey, Boon. What you say to get my girl out the house?” She hugged him.

  “Nothing. She’s the one who got me out of the house.” Blaze pulled me to him, preventing me from taking a seat. “No you don’t. Yo ass ain’t about to get comfortable. We ain’t gon’ never leave if you do.”

  Bianca laughed as did I because we knew he was right. Once Bianca started talking, she’d pull me in and we’d be at it for hours.

  “Blake, let’s go!” Blaze yelled. A few seconds later, I could hear my little man’s footsteps thumping down the stairs.

  “My daddy here. Bye, Nana!” Blake yelled, making us laugh. Once he came into the living room, his eyes seemed to light up as he saw me. “Mommy Peaches!” He yelled before running to me acting as if he hadn’t seen me just a few days ago.

  “Hey, baby, you’ve been good? You haven’t been giving your nana no troubles right?” I asked him and he nodded.

  “Yeah—”

  “Don’t lie, Blake. He been getting on my nerve and cussing,” Brittany said, coming down the stairs.

  Blake let out on irritating breath. “Nuh uh, her lying! She get on my nerves always talking too much and she cussed at me.” It was no secret Blake was Blaze’s son and he was bad as hell but I couldn’t be mad at him, he was just too damn cute to be mad at.

  “You cussed at him? He’s a kid, Brittany, who don’t know any better.” Blaze’s hand went over my mouth to shut me up. He knew I was about to go off on his sister. I went off on anybody that messed with Blake.

  Brittney rolled her eyes.

  “Peaches, go to the truck and wait for me out there. I got this.” Blaze stared at me with a shake of his head.

  I smacked my lips at him already knowing his ass wasn’t about to do anything. He claimed I was blind when it came to Blake, which I wasn’t. I just knew he was a baby still.

  They better leave my baby alone. I know that damn much.

  “Come on, baby, go get your overnight bag, so we can go.” Once I put him down, Blake took off running. “Bye, momma. I’ll call you later on during the week with the girls so we can meet up.” I hugged and kissed Bianca on the cheek.

  “Okay, sweetie, make sure you call me. Come here, boy, give nana kiss.” Blake ran to Bianca, giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

  It was funny now seeing them all lovey dovey when Blake didn’t like her at first. He literally gave that woman hell. But with Bianca being a no bullshit kind of woman, she quickly got in his ass. His disrespectfulness was nipped in the bud before it could really get started. She was the first of us to give him a whooping. Oh, Lord was I pissed. If I had’t been sore from the beating I got from Le’Ron, me and Mom B would’ve went at it hard.

  Even so, she did right by putting him in his place and she’s been nana ever since.

  “Bye, Peaches.” Britt waved.

  Smiling weakly, I waved back. After that little show she put on for Jerron, we weren’t as tight like we once were. Britt was real messy and I chose not to deal with her type. She knew my feeling toward her and we had an understanding. She knew the only reason I sometimes dealt with her was because of Blake, Blaze and Bianca.

  Taking Blake’s overnight bag, I went to pick him up but Blaze stopped me.

  I got him. You know you shouldn’t be picking him up, once is enough.” After the broken ribs I received from Le’Ron’s punk ass, any heavy lifting seemed to be forbidden. Hell, doing anything seemed to be prohibited.

  I never blamed Blaze for what happened. I chose not to talk. If the miscarriage hadn’t happened, I would’ve bounced back like it was nothing. The miscarriage was the only thing I was having trouble dealing with. I knew what I was getting into when I decided to get involved with Blaze, it was all part of the game.

  I was a target for any and everyone who wanted to hurt Blaze. No, I wasn’t fully aware of the extent one would go to being that nothing ever happened to Ebony or my mom and they both were with men that were in the same line of work as Blaze.

  But going through everything had actually taught me that those who smile in your face could also be the ones plotting against you. After learning why Le’Ron did what he did and seeing how he went against Blaze, I now saw everything in a new light.

  New eyes instead of the naïve ones I’ve chose to have before.

  So, I could never blame him for the treatment I got. How loyal would I be if I ran my mouth at the first sign of trouble? And if the situation happened again, I wouldn’t do anything differently.

  Ironic really, here I was mopping on about losing our baby when I wouldn’t have changed a thing if the clocks were turned back.

  Maybe Blaze was right.

  I really did need to let go.

  Chapter 30

  Peaches

  “Blake, wait a minute. Come here.” After I hooked Cherry’s collar onto her leash, I sat her on the ground as I slipped the other end on my wrist. “Blake, if you take off on that bike, I’m putting it up. Now get over here.”

  He was itching to take off on his Toy Story bike. That irritated look on his face made me laugh as he got off of it and walked back to me.

  “Mommy Peaches, can I please ride my bike?” My little man whined.

  I grabbed the helmet, knee and elbow pads from the back of the truck. I went back to Blake and started putting the protective gear on him.

  “Peach, his bike got training wheels on it. How much damage can he really do?” Blaze questioned.

  I could hear the laughter in his voice but I chose to ignore it. “I do not want my baby walking around here with bruises all over his body. If somebody sees him marked up, the first thing people gon’ think is child abuse. Then it’s going to start a big investigation and I don’t have time for nobody trying to take my baby from me because then I’mma have to kill them. So I rather be safe than sorry.” I rambled on as I put Blake’s knee pads on then tightened his helmet.

  “Peaches, what the hell are you talkin’ about?” Blaze asked after a minute.

  Glancing at him over my shoulder, I stared at him blankly. “What do you think I’m talking about?” Rolling my eyes at him, I stood from my crouching position and started messing with Blake’s helmet. “Is that too tight on your chin or is that fine?” He started pulling on the snap making me laugh.

  “It don’t hurt, can I please ride my bike now, please?” He was just bouncing, ready to take off.

  “Go ‘head, baby. Be careful, Blake.” I said to his back as he ran to his bike. “We can come back to get the food when he gets hungry or do you wanna carry it around?” I kept my eyes on Blake.

  “I’ll come back and get it. I can’t believe yo ass got that damn cat on a leash.” Blaze laughed as he pushed Cherry over with his foot.

  “Stop, don’t do my Cherry baby like that. Blake, slow down!” I yelled at him but he wasn’t paying me no mind. “Blake—” I started to yell again but Blaze covered my mouth with his hand as he got behind me.

  “Man, stop all that gotdamn yelling. He’s good, Peaches. Chill. He’s a boy. The little nigga gon’ fall and bleed so chill the fuck out and let him ride,” Blaze said, putting his head in the crook of my neck. “Yo ass tryna turn my son into a punk and that ain’t gon’ happen so let him fall, he’ll be cool.”

  “I’m not turning him into a punk. I just don’t want him hurting himself.” Shrugging, I leaned into him before realizing what I was doing. “So, Le’Ron didn’t give you no clues as to who this chick is?” I asked while pulling away from him.

  Blaze let out a breath then ran a hand over his head. “Besides it was a bitch? N’all, he ain’t say. He didn’t even say why he flipped. Whoever i
t is gon’ be low now. Bitch gotda get a whole new team in play. With Poke dirty ass gone, she can’t send him shit. Then with Le’Ron, Cornell and yo dude out, that bitch gotda stay low. Shid, that’s what I’d do knowing now I got a mothafucka like me on high alert. She gon’ be down, though, so don’t trip on her.

  “I ain’t gon’ lie I wanna know who the fuck she is. The bitch smart. I’m kinda turned on by it,” he said, grabbing his dick and squeezing.

  “Shut up, you asshole. I’mma give it her, though. She played this shit good pulling her cards. Her only problem was she thought she was fuckin’ with a weak bitch but when I find out who the fuck she is, ain’t no questioning or nothing. I’m lighting that bitch face up. I don’t get a fuck. She was stupid to even come for me, weak hoe.

  “I wanna say this Monica/Macy hoe is behind it, but I don’t know. It seems too thought out. I’m starting to think it’s somebody we know for the simple fact they knew too much about you that no random person would know. Who would know to go for Le’Ron? Who really knew about Krystal? And about Poke wanting you so bad? It’s so much to think about. So, besides my girls, I ain’t fuckin’ with no new bitches. A bitch can’t even get a hi from me. Everybody a mothafuckin’ suspect.” Blaze suddenly started laughing. I looked at him and I couldn’t help but laugh along with him. “Shut up! B, don’t laugh at me. I’m being so serious.”

  “Oh, shit! My baby done turned full gangsta on a nigga. You wanna pop bitches in the face now? Word? Ain’t no Mr. Nice Peaches, huh?” Blaze joked.

  “Boy, shut up. I don’t know why I talk to yo ass. I swear I don’t. Damn fool.”

  “Daddy, can I get on the swing!” Blake yelled back at us from a little ways up ahead.

  “Hold up,” Blaze told him before looking down at me laughing. “You got yo gun on you?” Blaze asked with a raised brow.

  “Yep, I got that .380 at my ankle and my 9mm on my hip.” I named what I had. I was never going to be caught slipping. After what happened to me, it only made me more aware. If a mothafucka didn’t look right, I was popping without a care.