The girl who would have been delighted by the expense of the dyed fabric, and the intricate details felt like a stranger to her. The obi and the constricting layers of fabric would only get in the way if she had to fight. And considering she was attending a celebration with the yokai, it might come down to a fight tonight. Why had she ever agreed to attend?
That’s right because she couldn’t say no to Kaito, not when he’d been so excited. It bothered her that he’d gone hunting for the hybrid camp alone, but things had been going so well lately, and she didn’t want to fight. Then when he’d told her he was having a banquet to celebrate his victory, her head told her it was a bad idea, but her mouth had agreed. What was he doing to her? Wearing the silk he’d given her and the pin, she felt more like his doll that he could dress up and do with what he liked. She’d considered turning him down, rejecting these gifts and tonight’s dinner, but if she did, would he give up on her. Kazue had returned, what was to stop him from tossing her aside and restarting their past relationship in a new life?
There was no avoiding it now. This banquet was going to happen whether she wanted to attend or not. If she were lucky, she would escape without a yokai revolt. Her staff was leaning against a nearby wall. There was no easy way to carry it in her current outfit. But she would feel safer if she brought it with her, on the other hand, it might also be seen as a threat. Kaito wanted her to be his empress, and the only way that was going to happen was if she earned the yokai’s trust. She was going to have to leave her staff behind.
She headed out the door, but Tsuki blocked her way. Her head swiveled back to her staff. Could she make it before Tsuki? How had he gotten out of his cell?
“Did I scare you?” He chuckled as he rubbed the back of his neck.
They must have gotten free and were coming to steal the staff again. Suzume backed up toward her staff slowly. “What are you doing here?”
“Kaito let us go,” he said with a smile.
“Why would he let you go after you turned against us, you almost killed me.”
“But I didn’t,” he laughed.
Suzume scowled back at him. She fumbled behind her, reaching for her staff.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t make jokes, should I? Kazue vouched for us, she explained our situation to him...”
Kazue had vouched for them. “Why would he listen to another prisoner, the person who you said turned you against us,” she asked. Did they think she was an idiot? Her hand clenched around the hilt of her staff.
Tsuki blinked at her a few times. “Didn’t he tell you? Kazue is free, she gave him information that led to destroying the hybrid camp.”
No. He hadn’t told her that. Why would he forget to tell her something so important? Unless he didn’t want her to find out, unless he was afraid of her finding out they’d spent time together. Had she told him that she had all of Kazue’s memories? Was Kaito being swayed by his old love? Her chest clenched, just thinking about it. No. She wouldn’t let that happen. He declared her his empress to all the yokai. He wouldn’t discard her now that a woman claiming to remember their past walked into the picture.
She pushed past Tsuki and hurried down the hall. Noaki followed after her, but she didn’t wait to make sure he was shadowing her. She had to see Kaito, surely Tsuki was lying. The yokai had gathered together, and their raucous voices were raised up to the high ceilings, spilling out into the hall beyond. As she approached, she slowed her steps, took a deep breath, and brushed the folds from her kimono. Whatever the truth was, she needed to be in control of her image. She wouldn’t let the yokai see her ruffled.
Suzume stepped into the room. Servants circulated about with bottles of sake. Suzume scanned the crowd searching for Kaito, and found him at the head of the room, his head tossed back in laughter as he sat beside Kazue. Her insides turned to water. She didn’t want to believe her eyes; he really had let her out of her prison.
That didn’t mean anything, maybe he had just forgotten to tell her. She strode through the crowd to get closer to him, he hadn’t taken his eyes of Kazue. She leaned in closer to whisper something in his ear, and a smile curled his lips. Anger boiled in her gut.
Suzume approached them and stared down at Kaito, he was so absorbed in chatting with Kazue he didn’t even bother to look up at her. Flames danced along her skin. If she weren’t careful, she would lose control and burn the entire palace down.
“Looks like we have an unexpected guest,” Suzume said through gritted teeth.
Kaito glanced up at her and then looked to Kazue. He stood up and came around the table to greet her, he reached to embrace her, but she backed away. The yokai were watching, and their angry stares only made her feel more nervous and angry. How dare he continue to flaunt her in front of them, putting her further in danger.
“You didn’t tell me that you’d let her go,” Suzume said, resisting the urge to glare at Kazue.
Kaito blinked at her as if he didn’t understand her question. He glanced over at Kazue then back to her. “Didn’t I? Everything moved so fast, I must have forgotten to tell you. Kazue’s tip helped us find and capture the hybrids. Part of our celebration tonight is to thank her for her assistance.”
Suzume balled her hand into a fist at her side. This dinner was for her? “Then don’t let me get in the way of your party.” She turned to walk away.
Kaito caught her by the wrist. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing,” she bit out. “I just want you and Kazue’s reincarnation to have a lovely evening together.”
Kaito’s face paled. He knew, and he’d purposefully kept it from her. And that hurt more. Secrets, lies, how long before she was the second woman left forever waiting for his return.
“Can we talk about this later?” Kaito asked in an angry whisper, his gaze darting to the yokai who were leaning forward to better hear their conversation.
“Don’t worry, I won’t ruin your celebration, I’m not in the mood to celebrate.” She pulled the jade comb from her hair and tossed it down at his feet.
Turning on the balls of her feet, she stormed out of the room. Angry tears threatened the back of her lids. Suzume returned to her room and tore off the silks and ruffled her hair in anger. Damn him for making her feel this way. Never before had she let any man get under her skin, control what she did, or wore. And for what? For him to lie and sneak behind her back.
She roared in frustration and fell onto her knees on the ground. She leaned her head into her hands and sighed. But despite everything, she was angry at herself. For being jealous, for being so afraid of losing him. Over and over, he had assured her there was no one for him but her. Maybe she had let her jealousy get the better of her and spoken out of anger. Maybe he had a reasonable explanation of why he hadn’t told her sooner about Kazue.
The party should be over soon. She would wait for him in his room, and apologize. When she stepped out, she heard his voice approaching. Perfect timing. But he wasn’t alone, there was another voice, a woman’s voice.
Kazue. Had he walked her back from the banquet? Perhaps it was just a kindness, the yokai were still dangerous after all, and she was new here. It was probably innocent. Suzume stuck to the shadows and watched as they entered the courtyard, and the pair of them stopped beneath the sakura tree. She couldn’t hear what they were saying to one another, but Kaito’s gaze was focused on her.
Whatever it was they were talking about, she didn’t like it. She took a step toward them, prepared to break them apart just as Kazue leaned forward and kissed Kaito.
23
Kaito leaned over to pick up the jade comb he had gifted Suzume. How much more stubborn would she be? He gave her gifts, he put her on a place before all others in his kingdom, but it was never good enough. Why couldn’t she trust him when he said that she was the only one in his eyes. Under any other circumstances, he might have found her jealousy charming. But when she tossed down his gift, she made a fool of him in front of his court. He should go chase after her,
make her understand that what happened between him and Kazue was the past. He never meant to deceive her.
But if he went chasing after her, the yokai would see it as a weakness. Rumors would spread. The Great Dragon brought down by his human woman’s temper. The Great Dragon bewitched by a priestess. They all knew he had been defeated by a human woman before. They were already quick to disobey, to test his authority. They were like hungry sharks circling, waiting for their chance to pull him down from his throne.
No. It was better to put on a show, pretend nothing was happening. Later he and Suzume would talk, after she’d had time to cool her temper.
“Bring another barrel of sake,” Kaito said.
The proclamation was met with cheers as more barrels of sake were rolled out and cracked open for the yokai to enjoy.
Kaito took his own seat and guzzled his glass of sake. The pleasant burn ran down his throat. He would need more than one glass to take the edge off his frustrations tonight.
“Did I do something wrong?” Kazue asked as she touched him lightly.
He stared at that connection and pulled away.
Kazue watched him with those long lashes, framing large brown eyes. She was all sweetness and innocence. It reminded him of Kazue when he had first met her. A servant refilled his glass, and he drank it down quickly. These were dangerous thoughts. He didn’t need these memories to chase him tonight. Not when he was so close to everything he ever wanted.
“Not at all, there was just a misunderstanding.” He took another drink. The numbness was starting to spread, just enough to loosen him up a bit. “Don’t worry, tonight is for celebration.”
She held up her glass to him in a cheer before turning away to take a delicate sip.
Suzume was the one who was being unreasonable. He hadn’t done anything wrong. Did he have to tell her every move he made? Where every piece of intelligence came from? Her jealousy was blowing things out of proportion. So what if Kazue had memories from his past. It was for that reason she should know he could never take her back. The scar remained even if Kazue’s face changed. He could never trust her fully, nor open his heart the way he was able to with Suzume.
The celebration wore long into the night. Numerous times he told himself once he finished this glass, he would retire. But his glass never seemed to empty. Little by little, the yokai stumbled out as the sake, and the food began to run out. Beside him, Kazue’s head was starting to droop as she leaned on her own hand.
For a human, she had drunk more than he was expecting.
“We should get you to bed,” he said to her.
Her eyes half-lidded as she flapped her hand at him. “I’m fine, I can stay up a while longer.” She slurred her words.
It was definitely time to get her back to her room. The yokai who were hanging around kept glancing in her direction. An intoxicated priestess would be an easy target. He grabbed her by the forearm and helped her stand. “No, I insist.”
She swayed on her feet, giggling as she lost her balance. She leaned against him, pressing herself against his arm. Kaito pulled away to an appropriate distance, but she continued to beam at him.
He led her back to the inner rings of the palace, all the while, she laughed and brushed against him, and each time, he put distance between them. When they reached the inner courtyard of the palace, everything was still and quiet. The sakura tree had lost all of its blossoms and was once more dormant. Kazue broke away from him to stumble over to it. She rested her hand against the rough bark.
“Do you ever wish to go back?” she said. She looked at him over her shoulder while she leaned against the tree.
“Not particularly.” There were too many bad memories in the past, it was better to keep looking forward than looking back on the things he couldn’t change.
“What if you could do it all over again?” She stepped away from the tree toward him; she wasn’t slurring or stumbling now.
Thinking about the past, there was much to regret. But if changing any of it meant he wouldn’t meet Suzume, then he wouldn’t change a thing.
Kazue was suddenly very close to him, her hand on his chest.
“What are—”
She leaned forward and cut off his question with a kiss. And at the same time, he pushed her away. He should have known, the way she kept brushing against him. He should have made it clear sooner.
“Is this what you’ve been hiding?” Suzume shouted.
He swiveled his head in her direction. She was standing outside her door, her face flushed with anger. No, this couldn’t be happening.
“Suzume, I can explain.” He took a step in her direction.
She shook her head and ran back into her room. He tried to chase after her, but Kazue grabbed him by the arm.
“Don’t go. We promised.”
“I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I cannot uphold a promise I made to Kazue. My heart belongs to someone else.”
There was a flicker of anger in her expression, only for the briefest moment before she shook her head.
She let him go and took a step back. “It was my mistake. I shouldn’t have—” Her voice caught, and tears shimmered on her lashes.
He bolted for Suzume’s door and pounded on it. “Suzume, let me explain.”
“Go away,” she screamed.
He slammed a fist against the door again. Damn it, why did she have to come out just at the wrong time. He should have followed her when she threw down the pin at dinner. Now she would only assume the worst of him.
“I’m sorry to interrupt—” Shin said.
“Leave, I don’t care what it is,” Kaito snarled without looking at Shin.
“Time is of the essence, I’m afraid,” Shin replied.
Kaito swiveled toward him, and grabbed a hold of Shin’s collar. “What is it, tell me quickly before I lose my patience further.”
Shin didn’t flinch but stared at him with a somber expression. “A tengu prince is here, he says it’s an emergency that he speak with you.”
Kaito released a ragged breath and then looked to Suzume’s door. Knowing Suzume’s temper, it would burn hot and long, even if he were to wait outside her door all night, she wouldn’t come until she was ready. He couldn’t neglect his duty as ruler of Akatsuki for a misunderstanding, not if it were a true emergency. But so help the bastard if it weren’t one.
“Let’s make it quick,” he said. He would resolve the tengu matter and then return to Suzume.
The tengu prince was waiting for him in the map room. His black wings were drooping, and there were dark circles under his eyes. As Kaito entered, he rose but fell to his knee. It must be serious if he had flown so hard and fast that he was nearly about to collapse.
“My Dragon,” he said, pressing a fist to his chest. “I’ve come to beg for your help, my people are under siege from the yuki onna.”
Never in his long life had he heard of yuki onna organizing into a siege. But he’d seen many strange things since waking from his prison.
“What of my emissary, Rin?” Kaito said.
“It was her who asked me to seek your aid,” the prince said.
Then that must be why it had taken Rin so long to return. All the other emissaries had returned from their missions but her. If the tengu were in need of aid, then he was more than willing to give it. By doing so, it would all but cement their alliance, and with the support of the tengu, he would once more be the strongest force in Akatsuki, no one would dare speak up against him. No one could tell him who he could choose to marry.
“Gather a force, we leave as soon as possible,” Kaito said to Shin.
Shin bowed to Kaito and did his bidding. But preparing for war meant he couldn’t go to Suzume and explain. There simply wasn’t time. When this was all over, he would explain everything. For now, he had a siege to break.
Suzume kept replaying that kiss over and over in her mind. It kept her awake and kept her pacing her room. She was going to wear a hole in the ground with
all her pacing. Last time, he had waited outside for her until she was ready to talk. But what if this time he wasn’t there. That creeping dread threatened to swallow her whole and kept her from checking, and kept her feet moving.
But the uncertainty was nearly as painful. She walked to the door and away from it dozens of times. But as the sun was coming up on the horizon, it was nearly time for practice with Souta. She couldn’t stay locked away forever. She had to face the truth.
She took a deep breath and slid open the door. She poked her head outside and found an empty hall. He wasn’t there. The reality came crashing down on her like a wave, threatening to pull her out to sea to drown her in her own self-pity. But she refused to let it. She wouldn’t give in to her emotions. She didn’t need Kaito before, and she didn’t need him now.
She shoved those feelings aside, buried them deep in her heart to be examined at a later date or maybe not at all. She grabbed her staff and headed to the training grounds. She would pummel a dummy for a few hours, work out her frustration, and then she would move on. It was good he wasn’t here, cause she might burst into flames if she unleashed her anger upon him.
Noaki waited for her silently. For a moment, she considered asking him if Kaito had waited outside her door before giving up. But she held herself back. She marched through the halls to the training yard. The halls of the palace were more scarce than usual today, and for that, she was grateful. If she happened to run into someone on her way there, then she might have burst into flames and burned them to nothing but cinders for daring to cross her path.
The Fractured Soul Page 18