by Fiona Palmer
‘Thanks, I might swing by if it’s not too late, otherwise I’ll just head home and grab some of Chong’s number twelve.’
‘All right. I’ll talk to you later then.’
Nat tidied up the kitchen and put her hair in a plait. She didn’t bother putting on make-up or changing out of her jeans, singlet and the blue-and-white checked shirt of Alice’s that Drew had given her. It was fast becoming a favourite – it was soft and warm, and it didn’t matter if it got dirty. She put on a pair of dress boots, as she’d left the work boots at home in Lake Biddy, and drove to her uncle’s.
She knocked once before opening the door and stepping inside.
‘I’m here, Uncle Kent,’ she called out just as the mouth-watering smell of roast hit her. ‘Oh, yum, it smells divine.’ She headed towards the kitchen when something came screaming towards her and hit her at waist height.
‘Natty!’
‘Billy? What are you doing here?’ She hugged him back and couldn’t help smiling at his angelic face. ‘You look happy!’
‘We went to the zoo today. I got to see the giraffes again.’ His eyes sparkled.
‘Hey, Natty.’
Drew appeared, leaning against the wall in worn jeans that hugged his lean thighs and a grey polo shirt that made his eyes a little darker. His strong arms were crossed against his chest and she could only think one thing: Whoa. He was gorgeous. Nat stepped towards him, Billy still hanging off her side, and the closer she got, the more intense his earthy, just-rained scent was. ‘Drew, what are you guys doing here?’
Uncle Kent appeared with that cheeky, knowing smile of his. ‘They’re my guests for a few days. I thought you’d like to join us for dinner,’ he said, giving her a hug and squishing Billy in the process as he refused to leave her side.
‘We’re matching,’ said Billy. His flannel pyjamas had a blue-and-white check too.
‘So we are,’ she said, ruffling his hair, which was long overdue for a trim.
‘Come and sit. I’m just about to serve up, and no, I don’t need any help. Sit,’ Kent ordered.
‘You were the last people I expected to see here,’ she said to Drew as they took their places. The table was set with cutlery, a full gravy boat and everything they’d need for dinner and more. Uncle Kent always went all out when it came to eating. There was a reason his belly was expanding.
‘We had some court business to sort so Kent suggested we come up and stay with him. It’s school holidays and I wanted to do some fun stuff with Billy.’ He gave her a look that said, Anything to help him forget. ‘So we’ve been to the zoo, Scitech, the movies —’
Billy cut in to tell her all about watching this new movie and the massive popcorn he’d had, and how they’d gone to Adventure World afterwards. ‘Dad went on the water slides with me but not the scary roller-coaster. People were screaming and they went up and down and inside out!’
They chatted through dinner, discussing bits and pieces but not the topics that Nat was dying to talk about. It wasn’t until they were finished that Kent asked Billy to help him set up Monopoly while Nat and Drew cleaned up.
‘I’ve been meaning to call,’ she said, meeting his eyes after piling dishes into her arms.
Drew picked up the empty gravy boat and sauces. ‘Why haven’t you?’ he asked frankly. Those tantalising sapphires bored holes in her but she didn’t mind – she’d missed them, and was glad to see them full of life again.
She walked to the kitchen and dumped everything on the bench to sort for the dishwasher. ‘I think I was scared.’ She couldn’t meet his eyes but she did feel she owed him the truth. ‘I didn’t know if I was forgiven, or maybe I hadn’t really forgiven myself and didn’t think I was entitled to know how Billy was going.’ Good, now she’d said what was on her mind.
‘Oh, Natty.’ Drew reached for her, pulling her closer but keeping his hand on her arm. ‘I don’t blame you one bit.’
‘But I saw the way you looked at me —’
Drew almost growled as he interrupted her. ‘That wasn’t about you. I just couldn’t deal with what was going on. Didn’t mean I blamed you. Your job wasn’t to watch Billy twenty-four seven. Simone was determined to take him.’
Relief flooded through her and she felt like heavy shackles had been unlocked from her wrists. ‘So what happened with Simone?’ she whispered.
Drew glanced through to the far room, where Billy was busy laughing at something Kent had said or done.
‘Billy said she’d told him she would take him back to the farm, because we were all going to have dinner together. So he eventually went with her, and she took him to Hyden. She was going to spend the day with him at the rock. I think she hoped he’d grow to like her, you know – be intrigued by his mum. But when he realised she wasn’t taking him back to me, he got upset. She booked a hotel room but had a hell of a time trying to keep him quiet. He probably had one of his attacks. He would have panicked and shut down. So she dropped him back at the farm and went home. I don’t think she planned to run off with him . . . just wanted to get to know him. The police took her at the station and she told them that it had just been some bonding time and then she’d returned him. That there was no law that said she couldn’t see her son.’
‘What?’
‘Yeah, she tried to spin it to her advantage but the state Billy was in when she left him at the farm speaks for itself. I’m so glad you went out there and found him, Nat. Imagine how long he’d have been there, alone, before I came home or Doris went to feed Turbo? I think his meltdown freaked Simone out and she couldn’t cope. She never could handle anything too hard. Which is lucky for us. I think when he soiled himself she realised she couldn’t manage him. He’s not your average kid,’ Drew said with that crooked-toothed smile.
‘Yeah, he’s above average, hitting the pretty-darn-special bracket,’ said Nat, and Drew broke into a grin.
‘There’s the Natty I miss.’
Nat frowned. ‘What do you mean?’
‘You’ve been different since the bonfire. I’m not silly. What’s going on?’
Having him stare at her was like being strapped to a lie detector. She couldn’t make something up, nor could she look away. There was only one option left. ‘I guess I was just trying to give you some time with Kim. You guys were looking very close.’ Damn, were her cheeks getting hot?
‘We are close, but it will never be more than that. That’s what we were talking about.’
‘You were?’
‘Yep. Kim understands. I did actually think about giving it a go, now that I know how she feels.’
Nat’s breath caught in her throat as the seconds ticked by like minutes. ‘And?’ she managed to ask.
‘And I realised it’s not fair on her. I don’t feel that way about Kim and she deserves someone who does. Kim will always be in my life, she’s one of my best friends. Just like I need to have you in my life.’
Nat’s stomach flipped and a current zapped through her body. His words made her feel alive.
‘Natty, can we go back to how we were before? I treasure our friendship and I miss you.’
Friends. Yes, she knew that’s all it could be. Yet she felt a trace of disappointment. Drew was watching her hopefully, his blond tips sitting at funny angles that her fingers itched to touch. ‘I’d like that very much.’ She kept her hands busy by wrapping them around him and hugging him tightly. Drew did the same and she melted into the safety of his arms. His strength, his scent, his warmth, all felt like home.
‘Hello, Nat? Kent? It’s just . . .’ Gary’s words fell away as Nat sprang back from Drew’s arms.
‘Gary?’
‘Natalie?’ He stood frozen for a moment, glancing between Nat and Drew. ‘Nat, I think we should leave,’ he said, his face impassive.
‘Gary, I . . .’ She was about to say she could explain but he was already heading for the front door. ‘Oh, shit. I’d better go sort that out,’ Nat said to Drew and turned to leave.
Drew latc
hed on to her hand. ‘Natty, don’t go,’ he whispered. ‘I’m worried.’
‘I’ll be fine,’ she said. ‘I just need to explain it to him. It’ll be okay. He knows what’s at risk. This is his chance to prove to me that he really has changed. I’ll call you tomorrow. It’s okay, Drew.’
She hoped it would be. This would be the turning point for Gary. She had given him a second chance and she hoped he would think about his behaviour. With all the talking and emails and apologies, Nat was feeling optimistic that they could work this out. She had to see it through, and that meant going with Gary now.
‘Please say goodbye to Billy and Uncle Kent for me.’ Shaking Drew’s hand free, she followed Gary, but felt as if she’d just left her life vest behind. She didn’t dare turn back to see Drew’s face.
Already she was wondering how to convince Gary that it was just a hug between friends. Even though, now, she wondered if she was fooling herself. Nat cared deeply for Drew. How was she going to keep everything calm when she knew Gary’s suspicions were justified? He had the right to be pissed off. But he didn’t have the right to hurt her. She just hoped he wouldn’t get so angry that they couldn’t discuss it rationally. She had to hope that he’d changed.
Lifting her chin, she walked past Gary and into the night.
Chapter 36
NAT felt terror slowly working its way through her veins. Gary’s face was set like marble, except his eyes, which darkened further and further as they drove home. Instead of calming down as she’d hoped, he seemed to be getting angrier. She could feel tension radiating from his body as he sat ramrod straight, muscles bunched in his white office shirt. Nat resisted the urge to press herself against the passenger-side door but in her mind she was turning to liquid and pouring into the gap between the seat and door.
The streetlights flashed past. ‘Gary, we need to talk this through,’ she said as calmly as she could, but it came out a little strained and jumpy due to the fact that her heart was in her throat. Should she reach over and hold his hand, reassure him? She was so uncertain about how he would react. Second chances were scary.
He didn’t say anything at all until he pulled into his parking spot and shut off the car.
‘Come inside and we’ll talk,’ he said gruffly.
Nat opened her door with a shaking hand and moved slower than a turtle. Her mind was going faster than a rabbit, trying to guess what was to come and figure out how to explain what Gary had seen. She was torn between hope that he had changed and fear that he hadn’t. Her belly was a jumble of twisted barbed wire as she walked behind him on the lit pebbled pathway. Inside, Gary strode to the large glass wall and looked out over the city lights. He stood there with his hands clenched by his sides.
‘Gary, you need to calm down. There was no need to insist I come home without saying goodbye to Uncle Kent. He was right there with Billy. Nothing sordid was going on.’ She stood behind a chair, using it for balance, using it to hide her shaking body, using it as a shield and wondering if it would be enough.
Gary turned and the force of his gaze hit her like a slap. ‘Nothing going on? His hands were all over you. You were draped over him,’ he said angrily. ‘What else have you been doing?’ he said, stepping towards her and locking his hands onto her arms. He dragged her from behind the chair, putting her firmly in front of him.
‘Gary, this is your second chance. You promised me you’d never lose control again. Please. I need you to be the Gary I said I would marry.’
A hand snapped up and clenched her jaw hard, dragging her face close to his. Her teeth ached from the pressure.
‘Second chance? What about your second chance? For all I know, you’re sleeping in his bed.’
Nat tried to pull back. ‘No, I’m not. Gary, let me go. You’re hurting me,’ she begged. ‘You promised me you’d never hurt me again.’
‘You wouldn’t know what real pain is,’ he said, letting her jaw go but gripping her neck instead. He pushed her back towards the bedroom while she struggled for breath. She tripped over a rug and fell to the ground, getting a brief reprieve as she slipped from his grasp. She crawled along the floor, trying to get away, when she felt a blinding pain in her ribs. Curling into a ball, she cried out as he kicked her again, his shoe hard and unforgiving. Tears sprang forth, her world going blurry.
‘Gary, no, please,’ she whimpered. ‘You promised me. You promised.’
‘When are you going to learn that I don’t share? I will not be humiliated. I promised to behave but you were all over him. It was . . . disgusting. I will not have you doing it behind my back and making me a laughing stock.’ Gary reached down and dragged her up by her neck, both hands tight.
Natalie feared her windpipe was being crushed as he pulled her to the bed. Could her lungs collapse? Each breath was a struggle.
As her world grew dark, she wondered how she could have let this happen to her. Again. Gary had blown his second chance. He was not the man she wanted to marry. Not by a long shot. The shame was so intense she wanted to die from it. She didn’t even know who Gary was, and as she finally passed out into darkness she felt a moment of relief that it was over.
Chapter 37
DREW paced around Kent’s house like a caged lion. On his tenth lap Kent stepped into his path.
‘Drew, what’s going on? Where’s Nat?’
‘It’s a mess. Nat and I had cleared the air, we were friends again and having a hug when Gary walked in,’ he said, struggling to keep the fire from his voice.
Kent stood there as if waiting for the punchline. ‘And? What’s wrong with that?’
‘I’m worried I’ve made it worse for Nat.’
‘Why? With Gary? Was he upset? Didn’t you just explain?’
‘You don’t get it. Gary’s a hothead. He can’t think clearly when he’s jealous. He all but dragged her home.’ Drew so badly wanted to tell him that Gary had been hurting Nat, but that would mean breaking a promise. ‘Can you call her, please?’
Kent frowned. ‘What do you mean? What aren’t you telling me, Drew?’
Drew didn’t reply but Kent pulled out his mobile and rang Nat. He glanced at Drew. ‘No answer, but that’s not surprising, is it, if they’re talking things over?’
Drew ground his teeth together.
‘Is there something going on between you and Nat?’
Drew shot his hands up as if under arrest. ‘No, of course not. We’re just good friends.’
‘I can see that,’ said Kent. He glanced back to check Billy was still occupied. ‘And I can also see how much she means to you.’
His words seemed to hang in the air like a thick morning fog. Drew didn’t know how to reply, but couldn’t bring himself to deny it. It felt like a shootout in a Western as they eyeballed each other.
‘Do you love her?’ Kent asked softly.
Again Drew didn’t know what to say. Could he admit to Kent that he loved his niece, the one who was engaged to be married to another man? After everything Kent had done for him and Billy, Drew owed him the truth. ‘Yes. Yes, I do.’
A smile grew on Kent’s face, completely confusing Drew. ‘I knew it. They say men don’t notice stuff, but I noticed.’
Drew bit the inside of his cheek. ‘I haven’t done anything about it,’ he eventually said, but then he remembered the kiss.
‘You don’t want to tell her?’ Kent asked. ‘You should.’
Why did everyone keep saying that? Would telling her really change anything? Gary was abusive and she still hadn’t left him. Why would she leave him for Drew and live a plain life in the middle of nowhere, away from everything she knew?
‘I’m not sure it would work between us,’ Drew said truthfully. He didn’t want to try it and then be devastated when she went back to the city. It had happened to a few of the guys in the district. But then again, others were still happily married to their city gals. ‘She shouldn’t marry Gary regardless. He’s bad news.’
‘Well, that we can agree on. I think he’s
too selfish, doesn’t put Nat first. And I have a feeling she’s doing it more out of family duty than anything. She’s always wanted to please everyone. But I want her to please herself. I’ve tried to tell her that I think she’s trapping herself by getting married but she won’t listen. Just thinks it’s an old man’s mumblings.’
Drew agreed with Kent but was too afraid to say so.
‘Can we play Monomoney now?’ Billy asked, appearing in the doorway. He still couldn’t pronounce Monopoly correctly.
‘Um, not just yet, can you watch some TV instead, or play with the Lego? Thanks, buddy.’ Drew was relieved for the distraction from his conversation with Kent as he was scared he was close to spilling Nat’s secret. What a world of trouble he’d be in then. And they’d just fixed their relationship; he didn’t want to bust it up again. He was so torn. He wanted to drive to Gary’s and see for himself if she was all right. But what if she was fine and he just made it worse? He could call the police but he knew Nat would hate that.
Try as he might, Monopoly couldn’t hold his interest. He kept looking at his phone, wondering if Nat would call him, if Gary might be hurting her, wondering whether he should text her and see if she was all right. But if Gary was hovering over her phone . . . Damn it. Images of Nat with bad bruises swam through his mind like thick globs of poisonous algae.
‘Daaaad, it’s your go again,’ Billy whined, holding the dice out for him.
Kent squinted at Drew, no doubt trying to read his mind. ‘I’m sorry, mate. I’m going to have to call it a night. I’m tired,’ Drew said.
They packed up and all went to bed, but Drew couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned, looked at his phone, then tossed and turned some more. Maybe he could get Kent to ring her in the morning, just to see she was okay. At some ungodly hour Drew fell asleep, only to wake early and start fretting all over again.
Kent found him sitting at the kitchen bench at seven o’clock, staring at his strong black coffee. It was his third cup.
‘Morning. You look hung-over,’ said Kent, scratching his belly through his royal-blue robe. He wore matching slippers.