Searching for Steven (Whitsborough Bay Trilogy Book 1)

by Jessica Redland

  I shook my head and smiled. ‘No. You haven’t embarrassed me; Auntie Kay has. I told her just this morning not to set me up with y—’ I tailed off and bit my lip, desperately wishing I could retract my words.

  Nick laughed, a warm and infectious sound. ‘It’s okay. You can finish the sentence. I promise not to jump off Lighthouse Point if you don’t want to go out with me.’

  ‘It’s not that. I mean it’s not you. It’s… it’s complicated. Tea or coffee?’

  ‘Coffee please. White. No sugar.’ Nick leaned against the worktop. ‘You don’t have to explain. I know you’ve only just split up with your boyfriend. Kay managed to slip that into our brief conversation, which was another big clue that perhaps she was playing cupid. You probably need some time to yourself.’

  I sighed and shook my head. ‘It’s not that either.’ I stirred his coffee. ‘Things with Jason had run their course a long time ago. It’s just that…’

  When I didn’t finish the sentence, Nick prompted gently, ‘I’m a good listener.’

  I sighed. ‘Believe me, you don’t want to hear my woes.’

  ‘Try me.’

  I handed him his drink and studied his face. It would be useful to hear the male viewpoint. It would be useful to have someone completely independent to tell me whether or not I was being crazy with the whole searching for Steven thing. Auntie Kay had been as much use as a chocolate teapot. But could I really open up to someone I’d only just met?

  ‘I’m not sure,’ I said, eventually. ‘You might laugh.’

  ‘I promise I won’t. If it helps, I volunteer as a youth counsellor and, believe me, I’ve heard it all over the years. I don’t judge. I don’t laugh. I just listen and occasionally offer a few words of wisdom. But I can also drop the subject, shut up, and we can talk websites with no pressure. Or I can go…’

  I finished making my tea and took a deep breath. ‘You’re on.’

  ‘Websites, woes or leave?’

  I laughed. ‘Woes. If you’re absolutely sure you don’t mind spending the next hour or so listening to me wittering on.’

  ‘It would be a pleasure. But can I make a suggestion?’

  I nodded.

  ‘Might your woes be better shared over a beer rather than a coffee? Is it too early for a swift half in Minty’s?’

  ‘Best idea I’ve heard all day and my favourite bar too. Are you sure you’ve got time? You don’t have any other appointments?’

  ‘No. No plans. I’m yours for as long as you want me.’ Nick held my gaze and my stomach did a back-flip. Was that a loaded statement?

  ‘There you have it,’ I said. ‘Pathetic eh?’ I took a swig from my third glass of wine.

  Nick had been right. He was really easy to talk to and a great listener. Feeling relaxed — especially after the first glass of wine on an empty stomach — I told him all about Uncle Alan, my Life Plan, Jason, the clairvoyant tape and Clare’s suggestion to start Internet dating. I left out the window cleaner and plasterer episodes. They were definitely on a need-to-know-only basis.

  ‘Not pathetic at all.’ Nick touched my hand lightly, making my heart flutter. ‘Thanks for sharing.’

  ‘Thanks for listening.’

  ‘You’re welcome.’

  ‘So, what do you think?’ I asked.

  He took a deep breath. ‘First thing to say is that I don’t think you’re mad for believing in the tape. At some point in their lives, I’d say that most people have something they desperately want to believe can happen. I bet ninety nine per cent of people have dreams of packing in the day job to become a pop star, winning the lottery or simply just meeting the man or woman of their dreams.’

  I smiled. ‘Which one is it for you?’

  ‘All three. Give me a few beers and a karaoke machine and I think I’m Tom Jones. There’s nothing like a good rendition of Delilah.’ He laughed. ‘And my attempt is nothing like a good rendition!’

  I laughed too. Ooh. I’d like to see that. Especially if it involved some Tom Jones hip gyrating!

  ‘I never buy lottery tickets,’ he continued, ‘so that kind of scuppers the first two.’

  ‘Which just leaves meeting The One?’

  ‘I’m in the same boat as you there. Always hoping but it hasn’t happened yet.’ He took a swig of his pint. ‘Actually, that’s a lie. I was engaged once. I thought Lisa was The One for me but it turns out I wasn’t The One for her.’

  ‘Oh. That sounds like a story. What happened?’

  ‘The classic cliché. She ran off with my best mate. Could have been worse. At least she did it the day before the wedding instead of leaving me at the altar a best man and a bride short of a wedding party.’

  ‘Oh, Nick, I’m so sorry. Was this recent?’

  He shook his head and gave a weak smile. ‘Years ago. I was twenty-one. She was only nineteen. I’d say we were too young but it seemed to work for her and Alex. Last I knew, they’re still together and have two kids.’

  ‘That must have hurt.’

  He nodded. ‘Like hell. Not only did I lose my fiancée but I lost my best mate too and, over the years, that’s been harder to deal with. Alex and I had been inseparable since nursery and, even though we were only ten at the time, he was so supportive when my dad died. I haven’t thought about Lisa for years but I still really miss Alex. He was like a brother to me.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I said again.

  ‘Don’t be.’ He smiled. This time his eyes smiled too. ‘Water under the bridge. The main lasting impact is that it’s made me cautious about male friends. For the first few years, I wouldn’t introduce any male friends to girlfriends just in case it happened again. Even now, I’d be wary. My closest friend now is female — Skye — and I like not having that threat.’

  I tried to imagine how I’d feel if Elise or Clare had run off with Andy or with Jason (in the early days when it had been good). The betrayal didn’t bear thinking about. ‘Poor you.’

  ‘Thank you, but we’re meant to be talking about you. You wanted my verdict?’

  I nodded, feeling silly for making such a fuss after what he’d been through with his dad then Alex and Lisa.

  ‘Here goes,’ he said. ‘From what you’ve said, it sounds like most of what your clairvoyant predicted has already happened plus that stuff about your uncle is pretty compelling. I’m therefore with you when you say why wouldn’t she be right about Steven.’

  ‘Exactly. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell Clare.’

  Nick screwed his nose up.

  ‘There’s a “but” isn’t there?’

  He nodded and pulled an apologetic expression. ‘But I’m also with your friend Clare in that your clairvoyant could be wrong. She could be wrong about the timescales of you meeting The One or she could be wrong about the name. I’d hate you to close yourself off to other possibilities and spend years expecting Steven to walk into your life, feeling disappointed every time you meet someone you’re attracted to who has the wrong name.’

  ‘So what do you think I should do?’

  ‘It’s entirely up to you but, if you really want my opinion, I think you should do what your friend Clare suggests and register for Internet dating. It sounds like a great way to find several Stevens, but you’re completely in control as to whether you meet them or not. Surely that’s better than hoping Steven will walk through your door wanting a bunch of flowers for his mum?’

  ‘What if she’s wrong about the name? How would I know?’

  Nick smiled again. ‘Give it a timescale. How does three months sound? If you don’t find Steven in that time, widen your search and go on a few dates with Neil, Mike or Dave or whoever you like the sound of.’

  ‘You talk a lot of sense. I might just do that.’

  ‘Might?’

  ‘Okay. I will do that. Three months of searching for Steven it is.
Or maybe four.’

  Nick laughed. ‘If, in the meantime, you find a non-Steven who you find yourself attracted to, maybe you should just go with it and accept your clairvoyant was wrong about the name.’ He looked at me again with that same intensity I’d felt in the shop. Did he mean him? The idea gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling.

  Nick smiled then nodded at the glass I’d just drained. ‘Another?’

  I looked at my watch. ‘I’ve kept you for over two hours. Don’t you need to do some work?’

  ‘I’ve had four pints and it’s not even teatime. I don’t think I’d be capable of doing anything that I wouldn’t have to re-do sober tomorrow so I’m all yours if you want me. But don’t let me keep you if you need to do something in the shop.’

  I stretched and breathed in deeply. ‘I think I’ll be pretty useless too so I’m all yours if you want me too.’

  We held each other’s gaze. We’d both said ‘if you want me’. What was going on? Were we testing the water? Were we flirting? It felt like it.

  ‘Looks like we’re stuck with each other, then,’ Nick said. ‘I’ll get them in.’

  I gently touched his arm. ‘Before you go, answer me one question.’

  ‘Anything.’

  ‘Do you have a middle name?’

  He smiled. ‘Yes.’

  ‘I don’t suppose it’s Steven, is it?’ I chewed my lip.

  Nick laughed. ‘Sorry. It’s John after my dad.’

  I twiddled with a strand of hair. ‘Just checking.’

  His eyes seemed to drink me in as he said, ‘I wish it was Steven, Sarah. I really do.’

  Chapter 12

  * From Nick

  How’s the search going for the elusive Steven? Had a great time with you yesterday. Hope we can do it again soon. Still available to do your website… if you really want one! Met a Steve today & thought of you… but he was bald and had no teeth. Decided not to give him your number! :)

  I laughed at his message then put my phone back in my bag. ‘Sorry about that,’ I said to Elise. ‘Where were we?’

  ‘Not so fast,’ she said. ‘I know that smile.’

  ‘What?’ I concentrated on curling my legs under me on her sofa in an effort not to catch her eye.

  ‘Don’t play Little Miss Innocent with me. That’s your “I like someone” smile.’

  ‘It is not.’

  ‘It is too. Who was it?’

  ‘Nobody.’

  ‘Are ghosts texting you now?’

  ‘Not literally nobody but it wasn’t anybody of consequence. Just a new friend.’

  ‘A friend?’ Elise raised an eyebrow. ‘A male friend?’

  ‘Will you stop it with the implications?’ I raised both eyebrows back at her. ‘It’s a guy called Nick. Auntie Kay decided to set us up yesterday. She was about as subtle as a brick so we sussed her out but decided to have a few drinks together anyway. Just as friends.’

  ‘Is he single?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Good-looking?’

  I blushed. ‘Might be.’

  ‘But you’re just friends?’

  I nodded.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Why not?’ I said. ‘He’s good fun. I like him. I want to see him again.’

  ‘I mean why are you only friends? You’re single, he’s single and you get on well. Why not more?’

  ‘You know why.’

  Elise shrugged, then I saw realisation dawn. ‘Oh. Steven. So, Internet dating? Much as it pains me to admit it, Clare’s come up with a great idea. Becky from school met her fiancé online and she’s completely smitten. Obviously or she wouldn’t be marrying the guy. But before she met him, she had a great time dating. Have you joined up yet?’

  ‘I’m thinking I should focus on getting the shop ready. I only have Auntie Kay for another week and she’s so illusive at the moment with all her shopping trips that I’m struggling to tap into all her knowledge. I’ve got a load of gifts to source before I re-open and—’

  ‘Stop making excuses,’ Elise said. ‘Do you want to find Steven or not?’

  ‘It’s alright for you. You’ve got Gary.’ I nodded towards the stunning wedding photo on Elise’s mantelpiece. ‘You never had to go through all these dating traumas.’

  Elise looked wistfully at the photo for a few moments before shaking her head. ‘So tell me why you’re really hesitating.’

  ‘I’ve got absolutely nothing against Internet dating. I know loads of people have met their partners that way. But I’ve had this little fantasy lately that he’ll be a customer buying flowers for a sick relative in hospital and our eyes will meet across a bunch of stargazer lilies and something will just click. He’ll ask me what my favourite flowers are. I’ll say white roses because they’re so pure and beautiful. He’ll ask for a dozen of them to be delivered to someone even more beautiful than they are. Thinking I’d imagined the chemistry, I’ll complete an order form with a heavy heart. My heart will be thumping as he gives his name as Steven. He’ll tell me the message is, “Please say you’ll meet me tonight. I’ve already fallen for you” or perhaps something less cheesy, and, when I ask for the delivery address, he’ll say, “Sarah at Flowers on Castle Street,” and… stop laughing at me!’ I threw a cushion at Elise.

  ‘I’m not laughing at you. It’s just sweet that you’re so wildly romantic.’

  ‘Pathetic, you mean. And cheesy. Anyway, we’ve already decided that he’s unlikely to be a customer.’

  ‘So when are you going to register?’

  ‘Not you too!’

  ‘I told you I think it’s a good idea so I’m going to nag you.’

  ‘There’s another reason why I’ve been putting it off.’

  Elise shuffled forward in her chair. ‘Spill.’

  ‘I feel awful saying this because they’ve been so supportive but, much as I love my parents, it’s a little strange living back home. I don’t really want them to know all the details of my love life. In time, if — when — I meet The Steven, I’ll tell them the whole story, but for now, it’s too embarrassing. It was one thing telling Auntie Kay but she’s about to leave the country so she won’t be watching my every move, unlike my parents. If I don’t meet Steven straight away, I don’t want them to think I’ve turned into some sort of serial-dater. I think I’ll wait till I’m settled with the shop, then look for somewhere to rent in the New Year, then register.’

  ‘Then you’ll be packing to move out. Then unpacking. Then it will be Valentine’s Day then Mother’s Day so the shop will be busy, then wedding season and, before you know it, Christmas again. There’ll never be a right time.’

  True. I looked at the clock and realised we’d been yakking for two hours. ‘It’s half seven,’ I said. ‘Aren’t you meant to be having dinner with the mother-in-law?’

  Elise gasped. ‘Oh crap! Trust me to give her more ammunition against me.’

  ‘Is she really that bad?’

  ‘Worse. Give me five minutes to get changed then I’ll drop you off on my way.’

  ‘I hope you’ve got your best twin-set and pearls ready,’ I shouted after her as she ran up the stairs. Elise’s husband, Gary, is lovely and very down-to-earth, but his mum is posh. Or rather she likes to think she’s posh. She polishes the silver, uses the Royal Doulton dinner service and constantly name drops, which would be great if she actually knew anyone famous. However, her elite circle consists of the vicar, the Mayor, the Chair of the Rotary Club and Vera Hainsworth who got a recipe published in Women’s Weekly in 1982. Not exactly A-list.

  I’d been joking about the twin-set but when she re-appeared five minutes later, Elise’s attire wasn’t far from it. My eyes widened as I took in the beige ballet pumps, tan tights, beige knee-length pencil skirt, fussy white blouse and Elise’s beautiful auburn hair tied back in a plait with a yellow ribbon. ‘Wh
o are you and what have you done with my friend Elise?’

  Elise closed her eyes and gave a little shudder. ‘Don’t even go there,’ she muttered. ‘All I can say is that, when faced with a mother-in-law like mine, it’s a good idea to pick your battles. Are you all set?’

  During the five-minute journey to Mum and Dad’s, I tried to explore what she meant, but she just sighed and said, ‘It’s a long story and not a very interesting one. Once you’re all settled and the shop’s opened and doing well, we’ll go out for cocktails and I’ll tell you everything. For now, I’m more interested in you and this Internet dating idea. Are you going to register tonight or not? There’ll always be excuses but The Steven’s out there and procrastinating isn’t going to help you find him.’

  I blew on a mug of tea as I stared at my computer screen two hours later. Bowing to peer pressure, I’d done a Google search on ‘dating websites’ then panicked at how many there were. Thankfully I found an article on the ten best, which helped narrow it down although my mind was still in a whirr. Which site? And, even before that, did I really want to go down the online dating route? I knew the stargazer lilies fantasy was something that would only happen in the movies, but I still preferred the romantic ideal of The Steven appearing out of the blue rather than finding him on a website. I also knew that Clare was right, though; I would tie myself into knots waiting for him to appear, jumping every time I heard someone say the name ‘Steven’. Would I tie myself in knots any less if I registered with an online dating site? What if I emailed half a dozen Stevens and none of them emailed me back? Would making contact and having it ignored be worse than just not knowing when The Steven would walk into my life? ARGH!!!!!! My head hurt just thinking about it!

  I clicked onto my emails instead. There was one from Andy with the intriguing subject line of, ‘Have I Got BIG News For You’. My stomach did a flip. Even after all these years of just being friends, I still had a physical reaction each time I heard from him.

  Andy Kerr had lived in the same Halls of Residence flat as Clare and me in our first year. We became very good friends with him and another lad, Matt. When we first met them, we mistook them for brothers, so similar were they in looks. At five foot eleven, Andy was taller by an inch. They both had dark hair cut short at the back with a floppy fringe, dark brown eyes and an athletic build although neither of them were particularly sporty (unless you counted darts or pool in the local pub).