by Adam Selzer
I’m not a princess. But sometimes, like that night when we looked out over the ocean and Mutual told me he loved me for the first time, I sure feel like one.
So there you have it. The real story.
Now get off my lawn.
ADAM SELZER was born in Des Moines and now lives in Chicago, where he writes humorous books for young readers by day and runs ghost tours by night. (If you can find two cooler jobs than those, take them!) He is the author of I Kissed a Zombie, and I Liked It; The Smart Aleck’s Guide to American History; Andrew North Blows Up the World; I Put a Spell on You; Pirates of the Retail Wasteland; and How to Get Suspended and Influence People, and he is just famous enough to have a page on Wikipedia. Check him out on the Web at adamselzer.com.