by Tracy Kiser
Sarah held up her hand. “Not another word.” She turned from Lana’s doorway and slammed the door shut behind her, the noise echoing Lana’s broken dreams. Tears streamed down Lana’s face. Lana felt her hands come up and cover her eyes. Throwing herself on the bed, she sobbed with all the sorrow she felt.
* *
Sarah sat on the edge of her bed, tears rolling down her cheeks and her fists still clenched with rage. She hadn’t meant to be so cruel toward her daughter. The regret she felt over how she’d handled the situation sat in her stomach, twisting and turning. Sarah only wanted what was best for Lana. She hoped that Lana knew that. Sarah was sure that wasn’t what she’d conveyed to her daughter, but Lana should understand. Sarah prayed Lana did. She wanted Lana to realize that searching for something that can never be found is just setting yourself up for disaster and heartbreak. This, Sarah knew from experience. She feared that Lana was only setting herself up for more disappointment and her daughter had too much of that already. Inside, Sarah wished that everything Lana had said could be true, that somewhere out there Tom was waiting to come home. But she also knew that those kinds of thoughts would only lead her to more therapy and another prescription of Valium.
It had been so hard to let go the first time. Sarah didn’t think that she’d be able to survive it again. Once was more than enough. She didn’t want Lana to have to re-live it either. Losing her father at such a young age had been incredibly difficult. How would Lana take it now if she sailed to search for him and came back empty handed? Sarah couldn’t allow Lana to set herself up for that kind of catastrophe. She wholeheartedly hoped that Lana would come to understand why Sarah had done what she had. It was her duty as a mother to protect her daughter, even if she was protecting Lana from herself.
Sarah scooted back into the middle of the bed, the blankets shifting with her, and laid her head down onto her pillow. The tears dampened the cloth cooling Sarah’s cheek as she stared across the room where one of her paintings sat leaning up against her armoire. It was the one she had done of Tom on his boat. The only one she had refused to sell. Briefly the urge to call Daniel skipped through her mind. She needed to feel someone’s arms around her. However, Sarah knew that she couldn’t do that again, no matter what her heart wanted. She focused on the painting trying to remember when her life made sense. She fell asleep dreaming of the ocean breeze flowing through her hair and the sound of Tom laughing with Daniel standing right beside him.
* *
Lana still couldn’t believe that Daniel had called her mother to tell her everything. Usually Daniel was good at keeping secrets. Now she regretted trusting him. Lana picked up her cell phone and sent a text message to Aiden, her puffy eyes making it hard to see the words she typed clearly.
“Mom found out about the plans. I’m grounded.”
She and Aiden had decided to leave the next week to go to the Bermuda Triangle. Now everything was ruined, a heap of plans and theories that had been destroyed. Lana wouldn’t be able to go find her Dad. He’d already been gone ten years. Could he survive long enough for Lana to find another way to save him? Anyone she asked for help would react the same way Uncle Danny did. They would think she was crazy.
The cell phone beeped. Lana opened the message from Aiden, trying to rub the sting out of her eyes. “How’d she find out!? Grounded til when?”
She typed back quickly, tears clouding her eyes once again with the mental images of her mother yelling in ire. “Uncle Danny told her. Until further notice. Exact quote.”
Aiden’s reply was quick. “So we’re not going?”
“I guess not.” Lana hit the letters feeling the true depth of her mother’s reaction. She sent the message. It was all over. The realization rained on Lana again, hurting more the second time than the first. Lana pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her forehead on them. Hugging her knees tightly to her, she felt like crying even more. All of the plans that she and Aiden had made, all of the searching through years of her Dad’s trips: now, it all meant nothing. It had become a huge waste of time. A story that would never have an ending. An adventure that would never occur.
Lana knew her mom would keep a close watch on her from now on. Lana wouldn’t be able to do anything without her mom’s permission. She sighed in frustration, hitting her pillow, tears pouring down her cheeks. A tremor after the first quake. Lana doubted Sarah would even let her out of the house.
Why couldn’t her mom see that Dad was out there? Why couldn’t she understand that he had sent her the logbook in order to tell everyone that he was still alive? It had taken her father ten years to find a way to send her the book and now he was probably waiting for the rescue boat. The one that would never come.
Lana’s phone beeped again. She let her legs straighten out and picked up the flashing phone. “So I guess it’s now or never. Be ready in thirty mins.”
Lana’s heart began to race. She quickly brushed the newly fallen tears off of her face and blinked her eyes into clarity. Had Aiden really just sent that? She re-read the message. He was right. If they didn’t go now, when her mom least expected it, they wouldn’t have another chance. The supplies were already in Aiden’s boat, waiting for them. He had told his family that he was taking the boat on a trip before he left for college. They wouldn’t worry about the boat, or Aiden, being gone. This was her only chance. She hesitated for a mere moment.
Lana text back an okay, then jumped up off of her bed to continue packing. Thirty minutes wasn’t a long time to get everything that she’d need for the trip, but it was long enough. It had to be.
* *
The car was silent as Aiden drove him and Lana to the docks. Lana was thinking about the note that she’d left for her mom and picturing how angry she would be when she read it. The house had been easy to sneak out of, her mother locked in her own bedroom, probably dwelling on the fight they had just had. She imagined her mother reading the scribbled words:
“Mom,
I’m going to bring him home. I promise. Don’t worry.
I love you.
Lana”
Aiden shifted the car into park and killed the engine. The moon cast a glitter over the water, creating a reflection of the night sky. The stars on the sea flowing with the waves, an elaborate waltz overseen by the moon. The couple carried their bags to Aiden’s boat and threw them on board. Their footsteps echoed, creating a rhythm for the roaring waves to match.
Lana lifted one foot to step onto the sailboat, but Aiden grabbed her hand gently pulling her back to him on the pier.
“Wait,” he whispered. Aiden could feel his heart thumping against his chest. The nerves shooting alarm signals through his entire body. An adrenaline rush caused by running away with Lana in the middle of the night on a crazy adventure that he hoped would be successful.
“What is it, Aiden?” Lana whispered in reply. She stood, the moonlight pouring over her, watching Aiden with her glistening blue eyes, still red around the edges from the tears he knew she had been shedding.
“Before we go, I have to give you something.”
Lana watched Aiden as he reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small black case. He looked up and met Lana’s eyes.
“I want you to know how important you are to me, Lana,” he lovingly whispered. Aiden opened the black case to reveal a silver ring with three small diamonds mounted on it. He slowly held the box out to Lana for her to see it, glittering in the moonlight, the sparkles matching the top of the ocean.
“It’s a promise ring,” he continued. “I know it’s a little cliché but… but,” Aiden took a deep breath. “I want you to know, I need you to know that I…I…I love you Lana.” Immediately his eyes dropped and Lana could see his face turn a warm pink by the moonlight. Lana felt her face light up and for the first time that night, she smiled, forgetting about her mother, the fight, the adventure that they were about to embark on. Aiden loved her.
Lana held out her right hand and waited. Aiden took th
e ring out of the case and slid it onto her finger. Lana reached up and turned Aiden’s face towards hers.
“I love you, too, Aiden,” she whispered as she closed her eyes and brought his lips down to hers.
Chapter 12
Tom stood in the foyer with his canvas bag hanging from his shoulder. He positioned his baseball cap on his head and checked his pockets for his keys. Sarah stood in front of him smiling. The sun light filtered in through the windows framing the door and shone behind Thomas, illuminating him like an angel.
“This trip’s only for a week or so, I’ll be back before you know it.” His husky voice brought a smile to his wife’s face.
“I hope so because I’m going to miss you like crazy.” Sarah outstretched her arms and Tom stepped into her embrace. They stood there, breathing in each other. Sarah felt the heat from Tom’s body warming hers. She slowly released her arms and softly kissed his neck.
“I miss you already,” he whispered, his eyes gleaming.
“I love you, Tom,” Sarah returned. “Hurry back to me.” The words she always said rushed over her husband. She waited for his reply, the same one he always gave before leaving on a trip.
“I will, love.” Tom took a step toward the front door and turned back to face his wife. “I love you Sarah. Keep an eye on little Lana for me and tell her how much I love her.” Sarah felt her heart light up, a glow that came from within. And the picture froze.
Sarah stood and stared at her husband. Piece by piece, she watched him disappear into thin air. The house blurred around her. She blinked but still couldn’t see. The setting faded to black like the end of a movie. Sarah shifted on her bed and tried to open her swollen eyes. Tears dampened her pillow as the morning rays of sunlight filtered in through the blinds.
* *
Lana and Aiden stood by the center mast, exhaustion written on their faces. They’d been sailing for just over ten hours and the sun was beginning to rise. The sky became a swirl of colors. Pink and blue with dashes of white delicately placed. Lana turned in a slow circle, taking in the ocean with her arms stretched out to each side. The breeze lifted and sent a chill running down her spine.
“Good morning,” Aiden spoke, breaking the serene stillness of the morning, holding on to a line near his head.
Lana turned to look at Aiden and a smile lit up her face. “Did we really do this?” Lana asked. “Did we really sneak away in the middle of the night to go on some crazy adventure? And can you say good morning if you haven’t been to sleep yet?” Lana laughed. Everything she was thinking spilled out into the open sea air.
“I think so,” Aiden joked. “And this was all your idea, technically speaking,” Aiden said as he raised his hands up in the form of a surrender.
Lana moved closer to Aiden. “This trip is absolutely insane but I can’t think of anyone I’d rather run away with than you.” Lana’s stared at her boyfriend, feeling the promise ring circling her finger, her eyes dancing with mischief.
Aiden looped his arm around Lana as he ran the boat toward the horizon. Feeling the water shift the boat below her feet, Lana breathed in the salty water air and imagined the first thing she’d say when they found her father.
* *
Sarah opened her bedroom door and walked out into the upstairs hallway. Pictures of Lana from birth to present lined the walls. A timeline of Lana’s life. Every photograph showing a smiling young girl with no hints as to what her life had been like beyond the white edges of the frame. Sarah stopped in front of Lana’s bedroom door. The fight they’d had the night before came rushing back. Every mean word she had yelled at Lana echoed in her head. Sarah rested her hand on the door knob but couldn’t turn it. Would a wimpy apology be enough to convey how badly she felt?
Sarah hadn’t meant to be so angry or to take it out on Lana, but how was she supposed to act when she found out what Lana was going to do? She just wanted her daughter to be safe. And most importantly, alive. Sailing to the Bermuda Triangle definitely wasn’t keeping her safe. Would Lana be able to understand that? Sarah could only hope.
Sarah’s hand dropped from the door knob and she shuffled to the stairs trying to remain silent. She’d let Lana wake up and calm down a bit before talking to her. Lana could be more than a little grumpy in the mornings. Sarah could only imagine what the fight would do to her morning mood. When Sarah walked into the kitchen, Darling rose from her pet bed and let out a large yawn. Sarah took the bag of coffee grounds out of the cabinet and began her morning ritual.
* *
Lana lay on the deck of the sailboat staring up at the bright blue sail, clashing with the soft blue of the sky. Aiden stood guiding the boat, each minute taking them closer to Lana’s father. The sun warmed Lana’s skin while the salt water splashed up and sprinkled her arms and face cooling her tightened nerves.
“What do you think your dad discovered?” Aiden asked. He had been thinking about all of the logbook entries they had read and wondering about the species Thomas had found.
“I’ve been wondering that too, actually. He describes the kind of fish he saw but they don’t sound like any fish I’ve ever heard about. Not that I’ve done much research on different kinds of fish, but you know what I mean.” Lana shifted her body so that she was lying on her side and looking up at Aiden.
“I know. Makes me wonder if he actually found an undiscovered species. That would be awesome.” Aiden nodded his head, agreeing with himself. Lana noticed and tried to hide a small giggle.
“That would be pretty amazing,” Lana agreed. She leaned back, facing the sky once again, and tried to remember how her dad had described the new species in his journals.
“Ya’ know, if he really did then it’d make sense, why no one discovered it earlier.” Aiden mentally observed.
“Why’s that?” Lana asked, propping herself up on her hands and looking at Aiden, a sort of confused smile on her face.
“Because of the Bermuda Triangle. All of the mystery and fear associated with it. No one wants to sail into that.” Aiden gestured with his hands as if he were a scale weighing the options.
“Except my dad. Stubborn.” She laughed, remembering her dad saying that to her when she was much younger. “Wouldn’t let myths and legends stop him,” Lana smiled with pride.
“Just like someone else I know,” Aiden teased.
* *
Sarah still hadn’t heard anything out of Lana since she’d awakened. She wanted to have time to work in her studio, but didn’t feel she could paint before talking to her daughter. The fight weighed on her mind too heavily, Sarah would never be able to focus. With hands slightly shaking, Sarah refilled her coffee cup and left the kitchen. The clock chimed eight a.m. as her feet made soft echoes on the stairs.
Lana’s bedroom door was still closed. A deep breath caught Sarah by surprise. When was the last time she’d been nervous to talk to her daughter? Never. Sarah raised her left hand and gently knocked on the wooden door. She waited for Lana to say something, tell her to go away, leave her alone, but not a single word came from behind the door. Sarah shifted her feet against the carpet of the hallway, the friction almost massaging her soles.
The cool brass knob clicked. Sarah didn’t want to wait any longer. So be it if her daughter was still mad. She had to apologize for the things she had said to Lana the night before. The door opened as Sarah gently pushed it. She stepped over the threshold and was taken aback. The bed was made. The computer in the corner had been turned off. Her daughter’s room looked like it had just been cleaned. This was definitely not something Sarah was used to. Had her daughter’s bedroom looked like this the night before? She couldn’t remember.
Sarah gasped. The truth hit her like a slap in the face. Lana was gone. Had she ran away? Had Sarah hurt her feelings that badly with the words she’d used the night before? Tears once again came to Sarah’s eyes, the puffiness causing a slight stinging sensation. She blinked them back. She scanned the room trying to notice what was missing, besides her daug
hter.
The white piece of paper that sat on Lana’s desk caught Sarah’s eye. She walked over and picked up the note. She read the words out loud.
“Mom, I’m going to bring him home. I promise. Don’t worry. I love you, Lana.” Sarah stared at her daughter’s handwritten letter. She dropped down into the desk chair, spilling coffee on her pants. “That’s it? That’s her note?” Sarah screamed to the empty room. “She runs away and leaves me a bare-boned explanation?”
Sarah shook her head from side to side trying to think of what to do. Oh my God, she went to find her father and didn’t just run away… If she went sailing off to the middle of the ocean, Lana would need a boat. Sarah needed to call Uncle Danny, if only to see if his boat was still at the marina. She took a deep breath, and then another, trying to calm herself enough to stand up.
Chapter 13
The sound of Lana yawning broke Aiden’s concentration. Neither one of them had slept. They had put it off so long that the gentle rocking of the sailboat was becoming a lullaby. The skin below Lana’s eyes looked puffy and was tinged light blue.
“Why don’t you go down and get some rest. We can sleep in shifts,” Aiden suggested. “I’ll stay up and keep us going in the right direction. Then when you wake up, we’ll switch.”
Lana looked at Aiden. The offer was pure bliss to Lana’s ears. She could feel the wave of sleep already beginning to flow over her. She longed for comfort beneath her body that was aching from being awake for so long. “Are you sure? I don’t want to leave you up here all by yourself.”
“Honey, it’s totally fine,” Aiden smiled assuredly. “I still have a couple more hours in me.”
“If you’re sure you’ll be okay then I guess I’ll go below deck. I could really use some sleep. I’m struggling,” Lana admitted. She walked over and pecked a kiss on Aiden’s cheek. “If you need me come wake me up.”
“Will do,” Aiden promised as he planted a soft kiss on Lana’s forehead, a little red from the sunshine.